JFF Do You Sing to Your Kids Every Night at Bedtime? at What Age Does It Stop?

Updated on August 01, 2012
J.F. asks from Bloomington, IN
23 answers

My girls are 2 and 4, and we have sung them to "sleep" every night since they were born. Of course they are conditioned now to hear songs to even settle in. But, we don't mind. They never stay the night at someone else's house without us, and GM has put them down a few times on a few date nights without any problems. :)

At about what age do they no longer want songs??? Am I going to have a 10 year old calling me from a slumber party to sing her songs??? Lol

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So What Happened?

What beautiful responses!!! Denise - I loved that article!!!

My husband also sings to the girls each night. He takes one kiddo and I take the other. We read 2-3 books, and then 4-5 songs. They love it as much as we do. Oh, how we are blessed.

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B.W.

answers from Louisville on

Glad you asked that question, as I was wondering the same thing. My dd is 2 1/2 and I sing to her to get her to settle in and get in bed. I don't mind at all, except when I start off, she is still in my arms and she is starting to get heavy!! Then I put her in bed and sing until I am out the door.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I did not sing to my children (after they were little babies) because they didn't want it, really.

But when my granddaughters visit now, they ask for "The Butterfly Song," as they've titled it, at bedtime. It's the same little song my Daddy sang to me when I was little, and I feel honored to pass it on.

Sometimes I sing my Dad's other song - about an old-school farm dog who sneakily goes to market with his people and ends up saving their lives (not violent, and not too exciting for bedtime) - and they like it, but they like the Butterfly Song best.

Enjoy it while you can!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well...mine is nine...and I'm starting to get "the look" now when I sing in the car. The look, or...."Mo-om!"

(Of course this only encourages me to sing badly and even louder!)

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J.☯.

answers from Springfield on

That is so sweet! I sang to my oldest (now 6) until he was about 3. It's not that I didn't want to sing to him, but I needed to take care of his little brother so I couldn't do it every night or for as long as he wanted me to. I do sing to him occasionally, just not all the time and not as often.

My youngest will not let me sing to him. If I try to sing to comfort him or relax him, he says, "Stop singing!" and will either cover my mouth or get mad if I don't stop. I do get away with it a little bit, otherwise I would have stopped trying altogether.

If it really concerns you, I would just talk to your oldest about it. I suspect you have some time before the situation would arise. Just let her know that you love this special time with her, but make sure she understands that she can fall asleep without them. Maybe she could sing a song or two with you one night and know that she could think of the songs if she's ever having trouble falling asleep.

I really do think it's wonderful. Cherish these moments!

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

That's cute :). My singing would probably give the kids nightmares. I have read to my kids every night since they were babies. I still do and sometimes we take turns reading, if they aren't too tired. My kids are 4,7 and 10. I don't see any reason to give up cherished bedtime routines.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Sing to your heart's content!! Sometimes my 9 year old will call me so I can tell her the normal goodnight's when she is out. To each kid I say "I love you. Sweet dreams. Favorite (insert kid's name)" and I add their own version of "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

My oldest called them "bad bugs" when she was little so we still tell her "don't let the bad bugs bite." My 7 and 5 year olds said it "don't let the bed bugs bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, etc." So we still say that to both of them.

So she might :). I love when I get those calls from her. I know it helps her settle in for the night and I'm BIG on telling my kids they are my favorites. My middle son had another Cameron in his pre-k class and he came home one day just beaming. He told me he was so happy when I came to get him and still picked him instead of the other Cameron. He told his teachers I would pick him because he was my most favorite Cameron in the whole world - he's right!!!

P.S. - the best part of that routine is hearing them say it back to me :). I'm pretty sure once the teens hit I won't hear "favorite M." for a while, but I'll always cherish the nights they've said it to me!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, I do. I will continue until she decides my voice is so horrible that it hurts her ears....I'm pretty sure that won't take too long.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

my daughter is almost 6 and i still get suckered into it=) apparently she'd rather her dad or my boyfriend sing but will settle for M. or music played if she has to. when she has sleepovers she doesnt ever want to sat goodnight on te phone let alone have M. sing...she J. does it at home to torture M.=)

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

They'll let you know. When SD was about 10, she returned from a visit and did not ask for our "tuck in" game. I knew then she felt too old and moved on to just talking with her and saying good-nite. Take her lead.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Our 14 yr old stopped requesting songs a long time ago, but our 11 and 9 yr old still want songs every night.

I figure we'll keep singing until they ask us to stop!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

We sing Lear's "The Owl and the Pussycat" each night. (Backstory to this: my husband and I used to do street poetry readings with our poetry group and I wanted something appropriate for when children were around, so committed Lear's very mischievous poem to memory by turning it into a song.)

Luckily, Jan Brett did an illustrated version of the poem, so babysitters can read it to him if we're out. He's five now and we'll likely sing it to him until he rolls his eyes at us and tells us to stop. My husband is great with it-- he makes the song sound like something out of a Gilbert and Sullivan musical.

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My oldest is 5, and I used to sing him about 8 songs before he'd go to sleep. Now we're down to 2 songs and a prayer.

My middle is 3 - he has never been as into the singing, but he wants me to sing "Twinkle Twinkle" and then say the "Good nite, sleep tight" rhyme.

The baby is 16 mos. I just recently started singing to him, because he started having trouble settling down for sleep. Now, as soon as I zip up his pj's, he smiles, and starts the song for me..."Good nite, my Andy..."

I am thinking that my oldest will be done with the songs altogether by the time he is 7.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ha! If I sang to our daughter, her ears would have bled!

We read books and tons of them.. then we played beautiful music for her to sleep to. Sometimes a book on CD,,

Once she started Kindergarten, she was so tired at night, she easily went to sleep after stories..

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

i have sung you are my sunshine to my kids everynight since they were babies, they are 7 and soon to be 10. i assumed about a month ago that my daughter would be done and she was like "mom, are you going to sing to me?" lol. guess they love that voice of mine. lol.

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

On the day my oldest was born I made up a silly song I sang to her in the hospital called the "Mommy & Me Song." I have sung that song to her everyday of her life, she will be turning 6 next month. I sing it sporadically throughout our day. My husband and I say our prayers with her every night and then sing the "I Love You" song from Barney.

Our second daughter has just turned 2 and I have a different "Mommy & Me" song that I made up for her. However our bedtime routine with her is different. We both tuck her in but do not sing to her at bedtime because it riles her up and she's ready to play and sing. Her name is Melodie and believe me when I tell you it fits her to a T. She loves to sing.

I will continue to sing to these girls for as long as they will let me and I hope and pray they will remember it fondly long after I am gone.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

I sing to my son every night before bed, he doesn't actually fall asleep to it but it seems to calm him down and let him know it's time for sleep. When dad puts him to bed (which is rarely) there's no singing. I figure it will stop when he doesn't want to hear me warbling in his ear anymore!

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D.J.

answers from Detroit on

I think you have a lovely tradition and I would keep it up for as long as everyone is interested.

I wanted to include this article which I adored. It's about a father/daughter's reading tradition instead of singing but it's in the same vein.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/21/fashion/21GenB.html?_r=...

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

The last time I sang to them was somewhere between 10 and 12. I guarantee you a teenager will not want you to sing..

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Well, I DO still sing to my 10yo.

Not every night, but most.

I came home on Leave (military), and my mum sang to me. Ditto when she came to help me post surgery just recently.

My grandmother sang to my dad when SHE was in the hospital dying.

Shrug. So maybe.

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K.B.

answers from Augusta on

Hi, my daughter (she's thirteen now) I used to sing to her until the age of 11. Thats when she started having sleepovers. She asks me to sing to her every once in a while though.

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

That's wonderful. When I attempt a song with my boys, they ask for another book....lol. I believe night time routines are so important and it is something your children will remember and cherish for the rest of their lives.

Enjoy it! We usually will read a few books, snuggle, and then lights out.

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S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

My girls used to have issues going to bed, especially when they moved to a bigger room upstairs. They are 6.5. I read a book each, and then they each get sung Silent Night (that song stuck after this past Christmas) and Rock a Bye Baby, while I am scratcing their back. Works like a charm becuase they are relaxed by the time I get through both girls.

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Every night we say prayers, and then sing "Silent Night." Our youngest is 8, and he loves it. Our oldest is 14, and he is usually in the room and joins in, but we don't sing to him before he goes to bed. Our 8yo does go on sleepovers, and then he goes to sleep fine without the routine, but at home he loves the prayers and "Silent Night."

Enjoy it while it lasts. :)

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