Keeping Toddler Safe in Public

I bought a harness at Walmart for my grandson, it is like a backpack type in an animal shape ( his was a monkey) that his "tail" was the leash. It worked quite well when he started to stray it was easy to keep control and taught him to stay close.Just reinforce with words that they have to stay close and to stay safe.

Use a leash.

There are a few varieties..

one is attached to the wrist.
one that is put on like a harness.. no thrills (WalMart)
one that is a cute backpack.

We used the backpack kind. She loved the cute animal.
BUT before I get lashed at, I used it as a back-up. My daughter was still required to hold my hand. I used it so in case her hand slipped from mine, I had a second or two and she couldn't run off.
My theory was that sometimes a second is too late (Disney!) because they get distracted and can vanish in a crowd.

I give DD (27 mos) a choice of holding my hand or going in the sling (she's over 30# but still likes the sling sometimes). And I keep reminding her this is her choice. I also will offer her the opportunity to help by carrying a basket or whatever. This keeps her very happy at Target. If it is a parking lot or sidewalk I also repeat that it is dangerous so that she will get that evenutally. If it's somewhere I don't want her reaching at stuff I also let her help me carry the list or an item we are buying.

Usually we don't have huge power struggles over it as she does get a choice (just running about or being on her own is not an option).

I had the same problem with my daughter. I got the harness/backpack for her and it worked great she was able to walk freely without going to far and I could keep an good eye on her. I also just tried to remind her over and over that she had to stay with me at all times and watch for cars people etc...
Good luck!

I also used the harness when my daughter got into that stage. I used the one at Target as well. She likes wearing her monkey. Most people realize why your using it and don't give any looks. And if they do give a look, who cares! It's a safety issue. Also, there is a book called HANDS ARE NOT FOR HITTING. It has a page where the child is holding her mom's hand and it says, "Hands are for keeping safe." It's a good discussion book about how to use our hands.
Also when my daughter started this stage we gave her 2 options: hold my hand and walk beside me (even with the harness on), or be in the stroller/cart. Let her know if she doesn't hold your hand at the store and behave, you're going home. Keep it simple with a warning, "Hold my hand or we go home" Follow up quickly with a question, "Do we need to go home?" Usually they grab for your hand because they want to stay. If you head for the door when they don't get with the program, they know you're serious. It certainly is a hard stage that wears at your patience, but eventually they get it if you are consistant. You won't need to leave the store much to get the message though.
If that doesn't work, then say "Hold my hand or no cartoons." And don't let her watch cartoons for the rest of the day no matter how upset she gets. If you give in you send mixed messages and they try to get away with whatever they can. If you're fair but firm they learn the rules you're trying to establish.
I quiz my daughter, "Why do you hold Mommy's hand?" To be safe. Not just about getting lost at stores, but hit by cars in parking lots, etc. Somehow try and work simple safety tips into daily life, and better if you can relate it to a show she watches or book she likes. My daughter actually knows that she has to follow certain rules, but make it fun. My daughter reaches for our hands out of habit now.
Also preface things by saying, "It's Mommy's job to keep you safe, so what do you need to do?" " Hold your hand." "Very good!"
Sing songs you make up about hand holding. My daughter loves it. " We sing "Hot irons are no fun" when my husband irons. So sing about anything, and kids seem to like it.
I also don't let my daughter walk in some stores that are over crowded with carts, such as grocery stores or Costco. Explain why she has to be in the cart for safety reasons.

Good luck! Hope some of my ramble was a help.

C.,

Hi, I know this may sound old fashion.....but when mine were little we used a Velcro wrist strap with about 3 or 4 feet of stretchy coil. It was connected to me and my child. I thought it was great! Some folks used a harness also. Good luck!

They have these teddy bear backpacks thhat are a lease..I know people who have had to have them as their kids to just run off. Will she hold hands? or hold onto to the stroller?

http://sarasota.craigslist.org/bab/998449780.html

my daughter is a very active 2 year old and very independant so of course she wants to walk everywhere. i got her the eddie bauer animal harness, like this: http://www.target.com/Eddie-Bauer-2-Harness-Buddy/dp/B001...

my daughter loves puppies and dogs.... he has 2 huge stuffed animal dogs that she has to sleep with. we got the eddie bauer puppy version. and we made a game out of this - that the 2 other puppies are for home and when she sleeps. this harness puppy is for when we go out.

she loves to put it on, sometimes she even holds the tether herself - but i think just the fact of having it on makes her slow down. she also uses the leash and drags the puppy "like she's walking it" - i tell her she needs to walk with the puppy she can't run b/c the puppy can't keep up etc.... the puppy gets dirty and i just toss it in the wash.

the way the puppy sits on her back it's right at her shoulder level and i have it so it's like looking over her shoulder - and she looks at it and talks to it.

i know most people don't like to use harnesses and think it's cruel, but if it makes her slow down, pay attention and is easier to keep track of her, i'm all for it. my daughter is 2.5 and i have a 6 month old too. so it's definately helpful now.

When my daughter went thru that stage. I bought my daughter a leashe that went around her wrist. Now they have a back pack style. That way they can walk on their own and you don't have to worry about them getting lost.

safety first makes products that look like back packs with a "leash" attached. It gives her the independence that she wants with the security that you need because you can still control where she goes. I have also seen wrist "leashes" where its wrapped around with velco. Both of these products are highly recommended with great reviews.
Hope this helps.
Nicki

At Target and Walmart they sell backpacks in the kids section that looks like a monkey or dog. You put it on your child and there is a "tail" for you to hold. Your child can't go more than a couple of feet. I have used this at amusement parks and other places and it has worked out great. My child loves the monkey and she can't run off. I have had many people comment that they wish they had one when they saw mine.

We're in the same boat - two year old who wants to be independent (and I want to encourage and applaud that!) coupled with my desire and need to keep her safe at all costs. So, instead of the inevitable power struggle, I have her "help Mommy" -- works like a charm for her!
In the grocery store, she helps me "push" the cart, will get me items off low shelves (make it fun, like "can you find the RED box of crackers?") and LOVES putting them into the cart, etc.
In public, it's a hand of a grown up or she's carried (which she hates). Sometimes it takes a minute for her to think it over when I give her the choice ("You'll need to hold Mommy's hand or be carried - which one do you want right now?") but given the choice, she's a happier camper. But, we also talk loads about staying safe, staying with an adult, running is for the backyard ("I see you want to run -- can you save those running feet until we get home?") - whatever works on her level to have her also make the decision with me.
I also have a Joovy Tandem stroller that she loves since the back seat doesn't confine her like her traditional stroller. I use the front seat for bundles and when she's really tired, but the back one for when we're just toodling around.
Good luck!

My little one will be two at the end of the month. She is my "wild child" and HATES to be confined in any, way, shape or form. We tell her that if she doens't hang onto the cart she is going to go IN the cart. It took a couple of times putting her in the cart and having her scream her head off for a couple of minutes... but she got the idea. She, now, hangs onto the cart for dear life and walks along right beside me.

The trick is being consistant. If you say it.. you HAVE to follow through EVERY SINGLE TIME or it will not work and she will figure out that you are bluffing. I know it's embarrassing (with a 3yr old, 1 yr old and an infant.. i KNOW!)to have her scream and fight you putting her into the cart.. but it will save you a LOT of problems and embarasment later on.

Another trick is to tell her how "great" she is for listening and holding the cart often. Give her attention for being good -- rather than only giving her the attention for being bad.

This also teaches her that there are concequences to her behavior.

I actually never thought of a leash--the ones that are like a little backpack sound like a good idea. My daughter is 2 1/2 and what we do is just have rules; she can walk in the small co-op that we shop at because it usually isn't crowded and we don't spend a lot of time in there--that's key because she can remember to stick close for about 10 or 15 minutes tops. She has to hold onto the cart, and I try to give her plenty to do; I hand her things to put in the cart, she helps pick out things etc. If she starts running around she goes into the cart, and although she protests, I'm consistent with it. When we shop at the big supermarket or Wal-Mart, she knows she will ride in the cart because it is just too crowded. Once in a while if I'm just running in for one or two things, she can walk and she understands this is special. I just try to give her a mixture of opportunities to walk and ride, and always repeat the reason for what we are doing. Seems to work well for us so far, although for airports etc, I wouldn't rule out a leash.

My daughter is a little younger than yours but she is already expressing her need for independance. She does ok in the shopping cart for now, but that change is coming soon. We are flying to FL on Wed and I was (am) very concerned about her wandering off (she refuses a stroller) in the airport and although I always told myself I'd never put a "leash" on my kid, that's exactly what I plan to do. The one that I got is actually a little backpack that she can wear (she loves to wear a backpack and since I'll also be wearing one she'll feel like a big girl!) Anyway, the harness is like a stuffed puppy (she picked it out) with a small pocket for treasures and the "tail" is what I hold on to and it's got quite a bit of length to it. I got it at Walmart for $10. I don't care if people stare at me. I used to think I would, but the thought of her having her "freedom" and me having her close to me makes me feel so much better. I hope you find something that works for you and your little one! Good luck!

I completely agree with the others who suggested the harness. My son has one speed and it is faster than mine. I have friends who think I'm crazy to "put him on a leash" but if it means we can go out and enjoy a walk and not worry about his safety then I'm all for it. Before we bought one we took him to a crowded animal farm and within 2 hours my husband and I were absolutely exhausted from chasing him and steering him away from plowing over the animals and other people. I went and bought the harness that night! Babies R Us has a plain little backpack one that comes in blue or pink. The animal ones are cute too but they didn't carry those. Good luck and ignore the dirty looks!

I did it with my oldest and I am doing it with my youngest too if he wants to get out and walk in public he must hold my hand the second he pulls away he's strapped into the stroller or shopping cart and he throws a tantrum I tell him I'm sure there is a timeout spot somewhere here and it usually works. There have been times that we had to leave a store but thats typical of this age. We tried the monkey backpack but Evan thinks its funny to throw himself on the ground when he has it on.

People will give you some odd looks and unwarranted comments, but get a harness for your little girl. It gives your daughter independence and you and hubby a peace of mind. I use one with my 2 year-old son. Once he was big enough to push his stroller around, while strapped in, I got one and we are both happier in public.

When there can't be two of you, say one to chase your toddler and one to do the groceries for example, you can try the harnesses. I bought mine at Target. Mine has a little monkey that looks like a backpack and you can fit small items in there. I thought when I first got it parents would think it was cruel. But, I had more parents come up to me and ask me where I got it and hardly an "looks". It's a tough stage.

You could always get the toddler harness...I know some people have a problem with that but it keeps them close.

My first two boys are 14 months apart and my oldest was a "runner". My mom got me a monkey harness from Walmart and it was absolutely my saving grace in public. Just make sure that you are 100% behind it because some people will question you. I mostly got extremely positive reactions. I "trained" my boys by taking them daily to a local farm for walks and hikes that were thoroughly enjoyed by all. Plus it gave me the safe space to allow them the indepence, yet give me an opportunity to rein them in without fearing for their safety.

Today I completely trust them when they are loose.

Good luck! I know it can be very frantic when you have a child who loves to run away.

H. Z. (SAHM 5, 4 and 18 month old boys)

Hi. I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. They both wanted to walk by themselves in stores (at around age 2). I told them that they could walk by themselves as long as they stayed very close to me. If they wandered...then they had to hold my hand or go in the cart (depending where we were). After a couple of times of having to hold my hand they both learned. The older one always stays by my side and my 2 year old usually does. I just make sure to stop and give them time to look at what they want to see as well...not just what I need to get. We kind of take turns. It works great and makes for mostly peaceful trips out. They both are going through "need to be independent" stages. THey have learned that there are rules and if they follow them, they can get what they want.

I have been through this one, with 3 daughters. I found the easiest was to let her have a bit of freedom to roam near you while keeping her safe from an abductor, is to use the little canvas zip-up "harness" for toddlers.
The harness attaches to a soft leash, so to speak, that you wrap around your wrist.
You can get them at nearly any store, like Kmart, etc. they come in pink, yellow stripes, and while they may draw some looks (mine always did), so what? You will breathe easier knowing she can only go about 6 feet from you in any direction. Toddlers tend to wander without realizing it, so better safe than sorry. My girls are now 10, 12, and 15 and don't remember wearing the harness. :)

I know you have already read responses about this issue, I didn't read anyones but I will say I have a very active son and when he was about that age I had the monkey "back pack" and it was wonderful! he was happy he loved it he was safe and I was happy, I was a little on edge about the whole will people think Im mean for a leash deal, but everyone who say it thought it was either adorable or commented on how they wish they had had one when their children were small. Best investment for that age!
C.