Looking for Advice... - Addison,TX

Updated on July 17, 2008
A.W. asks from Addison, TX
82 answers

We are thinking about having a baby even though I am already 35 years old. I would love to hear from other moms who've waited this long or longer before having kids. Is it safe? Are you glad you did it? How old were you? Did you have a healthy pregnancy? Were your babies born healthy? Sorry for all of the questions, but I have recently gotten some negative feedback about my decision to have a baby so 'late' in life. Thanks in advance for your responses and for sharing!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Don't listen to those people, they are just old fuddy duddies!! If you want to have a baby, by all means have one!!

I was one month shy of 35 with my 1st and was 37 with my 2nd with no real problems with my pregnancies (I did have a hard time getting pg, though). One of my good friends was 39 w/her first and 41 with her 2nd. She had absolutely NO problems w/her pregnancies and her kids are also perfectly healthy.

Both my boys were born healthy and are perfectly normal (at least as normal as boys can be :))

Go for it girl!!

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi,
I am thirty six and just had a baby last July. My doctor took extra special care of me and kept a close eye on the baby's progress (extra sonograms, testing...). We had a perfectly healthy baby girl, full term weighing in at 7lbs. NO extra care after birth needed. Home in two days. And, I am 8 weeks pregnant with the next one! I am not in the least bit concerned for this one either, nor is my doctor. I eat healthy, am normally active (don't work out but am on the move each day all day with my little one) and limit my caffeine intake to one cup each morning (half regular/half decaf). Good luck!

M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have no regrets of having my son at 36. He is simply amazing. I would love another but since I am diabetic its always risky for me. However if you are in perfect health I don't think its any more risky for you than it would be for a mom in her twenties. The only complaint I have is that my son runs me ragged. I wished I was in better shape. I would not let my age determine my decision to have a child. Good Luck.

M.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Oh, hon...with technology and medical knowledge as it is today, there should not be a problem having a child at 35. I waited until I was 33 to have my first and just had my second earlier this year at 37. Both of my pregnancies were healthy, both girls are very healthy, and I consider myself a better mother than I would have been if I had them in my 20s. Granted, my second pregnancy was more monitored than my first by my OBGYN, and I was tired more, but outside of that all went well. Just remember to take care of yourself and that your unborn baby comes first. if you have questions or would like to talk about it more, feel free to email me at ____@____.com luck!

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Go for it! I had my first at 32 and plan to have my second at around 35. My only concern is my blood pressure, but I had that before getting pregnant. With good prenatal care, they will watch you closely. I honestly feel that I am a better mother now than if I had started in my 20's. Don't let others discourage you...it's not like you are 50! 35 is still young!!! Good luck :)

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

I am 35 and just had my baby in February. No problems at all. I asked my OB if I was considered to be at risk due to being 35 and he said no. He basically said that so long as you are in decent shape as far as your health and had no previous pregnancy complications that they don't consider you to be "older" until 40 now. So go for it without worries! Girl - we are not OLD!!!!

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

Do not listen to anyone with advice who has not been in your position. I have two children, a daughter who is 3 and a son who is 8 months. I didn't get pregnant until I was 38 and my second child was born right after my 41st birthday. I had two great experiences, minus being tired at night. I gave birth to two healthy babies and wouldn't change a thing. I'm glad I waited and wouldn't have done it any other way. Please don't second guess your decision. Our life was great before our kids but it doesn't get any better than seeing our babies every day! Good luck with your decision.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Oh girl - don't worry about that yet!!!! I was 34 - and it was the best thing ever! He was healthy then and still is. My son is turning 4 this weekend and it's been the best 4 years of my life. Now - if you were 40...maybe be a bit more concerned...but they have tests to help you through your questionable "issues" of being an older mom.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

I had my first daughter at 36, my second daughter at 39...and my husband is 10 years older! My husband and I are very healthy people...healthy lifestyle (eat right, excercise, no smoke, no drinking) and that all contributes greatly! I had an extremely healthy pregnancy with both daughters. I was doing very vigorous workouts until 4 days before...just be healthy and you'll be great! Stop eating all deserts and no caffeine! Now, my daughters are 3 and 5 and they are extraordinarily healthy children....oh, yes, and if can, nursing is the greatest thing for you and your children. Do it as long as you can--shoot for 12 months! Oh, yes, and you can't love your babies too much. You'll be blessed if you choose to have children! Pray about your decision!

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I'm only 28 years old, all I can say is go for it. Who cares what everyone else has to say. We all have opinions, that doesn't mean that we all need to always share our opinions. If it is meant to be for you to have children, then you will no matter what your age is. They are the greatest gift you can possibly get out of life. They give you such a range of emotion words can not describe it.
Good luck with your decision and go with your heart!!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

OK, I'm weighing in as the "Grande Dame" here. I had my first at 40 and my 2nd at 42 (actually, 1 month shy of 43...YIKES!) We waited because I thought I was too young to be a mom (in other words, too immature;) In the end, we had a little difficulty getting pregnant so it took a tad longer than we'd wanted. But once I was knocked up, both of my pregnancies were a walk in the park. As a matter of fact, I felt better when I was pregnant than I had for a long time. No aches and pains, no complications. Both my kids are healthy and strong and have been since day one. I did have amnios though -- so I could be prepared if there was something wrong. I snapped back to my normal body pretty quickly too. My abs aren't quite as good as they used to be. But hey! I'm pushing 45, they were bound to go sooner or later. (And they're still not too bad, if I do say so myself;)

Sure, there are advantages to having your kids young -- I don't have quite as much energy as my 20-something counter parts on the playground, but there are BIG advantages to having them when you're a little older too. I noticed pretty early that I'm a lot more relaxed than most of the younger moms in my playgroups. Probably because I've watched so many of my friends raise their children and survive all the scary stuff. And I always have friends to call who've gone through what I'm experiencing. I had 10 fantastic years of living my own life, and establishing a great relationship with my husband. We have more money now than when we were younger, so we can afford to do things with our kids that a lot of my friends didn't get to do with theirs. The list of advantages goes on and on.

Ultimately, will I wish I had an extra 10-15 years with my kids and their kiddos? You bet! What mother wouldn't. But am I sorry I got off to such a late start? NO WAY. My kids are great and they're keeping me young. When your friends/family start giving you negative feedback, just tune 'em out. Make your own decision on what's best for your life. If kids at 35 is going to make you happy, then you should have them. Because a happy mom is the best kind of mom there is.

Good luck!!

D.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

You are DEFINITELY not too old. I had my first last year at 34 - it is so not a big deal these days to have a baby in your 30's. They will watch you more closely than they would someone younger - but don't let that scare you - it is still safe and you can have a happy healthy baby. I had a very easy pregnancy - my only issues were carpal tunnel in both wrists and VERY swollen ankles - but it was no big deal and totally worth it. Feel free to send me a message if you have any other questions! Best of luck!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

I had my DD just a few weeks shy of my 35th birthday, and my mom had me when she was 35, back when it WAS considered old...but she was just fine, and so was I. My OB/GYN fully supported me, and felt I should have at least 1 or 2 more, but finances prevailed against that decision. It's perfectly reasonable to have a healthy baby well into your 40's with all the medical advances. However, you have to consider how old you want to be when your baby becomes a teenager, etc. Pray and search your heart...you will make the right choice. My OB/GYN at the time was Maurice Gagnon, and I believe his office is now in Keller, which is the only reason I had discontinue with his practice...too far. He is a great doc!

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K.J.

answers from Dallas on

A.,

So many people are waiting later in life to have their children and it works out great. Odds are you are more mature and more financially secure which will only benefit you in this situation. I waited until I was 37 to have my 1st child and now that I am almost 39 we are trying for our 2nd. What is funny is after the age of 35 you will be listed as "advanced maternal age"! You will probably require a little more monitoring, but that only means you will get to see and hear your baby more in the months you carry them! I would recommend getting a OB/Gyn that has experience with our age group. I would recommend mine any day, her name is Doreen Moser and she is at Baylor Grapevine. I did see a perinatalogist twice just as a standard practice of care. I also saw a chiropractor that specializes in treating pregnant women who helped me tremendously and I think made my labor a lot better, her name was Dr. Erin Stark, she is at Apex wellness in the North Dallas area. I gave birth to a 9lb 14oz healthy boy and would do it all again in heartbeat. I waited and I don't regret it because i was ready for him mentally, physically, spiritually and financially! So go for it!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I was 35 when I had my daughter (20 months.) It was an incredibly easy pregnancy. I didn't even have morning sickness; although I didn't feel great the first trimester. I didn't have any blood work or amnio work done. My birth was without complications and I even had her totally natural. She was born healthy and is a bundle of joy. The best thing about waiting until 35 is, you REALLY appreciate them and enjoy every moment with them. I say go for it. (I am planning on trying for a second and will be 37.)

PS. I am sure you have heard this before, but every pregnancy is different. Good luck.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I started a little later than than, at 40. I had difficulty getting pregnant and ended up having to use invitro fertilization. I had two miscarriages at 4 and 4.5 months and spent many many thousands of dollars and had to go through a total of 5 invitro fertilizations. I had two sets of very healthy wonderful twins. One pregnancy was easy (for a set of twins) and the other, because the twins were identical, was a very risky pregnancy that caused me to have a lot of bedrest and hospitalization. Basically after age 35 your risk of having a child with birth defects increases, and the older you are, the higher the chance of birth defects. As far as your ability to carry a child and have a healthy baby, much of that depends on your physical condition and family history. Drs. now have many ways to increase the viability of healthy pregnancies, so there is much more hope than there ever was. My advice, having been through a much worse time since I started at 40, is go for it but find a doctor that is open and straightforward that you feel comfortable with. The doctor will explain the risks and rewards of having an amniocentesis and that will help you determine whether there might be a birth defect. I repeat, I now have 4 very wonderful healthy happy children, so it was all worth it to me, but it was not easy.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.:

If you are a healthy woman, I say GO FOR IT!

I had my first baby at 30 and my second at 37 1/2!

My pregnancy was a good one, despite morning, noon and night sickness ;-)

I really didn't feel old being pregnant until my OB sent me to the 'specialist' for an ultra sound because of my 'advanced age'. My OB didn't make me feel old, but the specialist sure did and kept advising me to have an amnio. I originally decided against it, but in the long run went for it. My brother committed suicide when I was 4 months pregnant and I was severely depressed and under a lot of stress. I decided to go forward with the amnio just to have one less thing to worry about.

I delivered a beautiful, happy and funny baby - at full term.

I wish you a world of happiness and luck. You deserve to have a baby and all the joy he or she will bring. 35 is not even close to being too old. I'm guessing that the people who have been giving you negative feedback are also the ones who tell first time, 8 month pregnant women horror stories about delivery. These people should not be near pregnant, or soon to be pregnant women!

Your OB should be the one and only person you listen to at this point - and if you don't get an opinion that you agree with, seek another! This is a huge choice and shouldn't be made by friends or family or even just one doc.

By the way, I read some of your responses and some women were talking about how hard it is to make friends with other moms in their older age group. I have not had that problem a bit! All the moms on my street are in their late 30's with small children!! My nine year old son has classmates with infant and toddler sibs and their moms are in their late 30's! It's wonderful!

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M.N.

answers from Dallas on

I'd say go for it! It is such a joy. I have a 3 1/2 year old boy and twin 14 month old boys and I'm 38. We went through in vitro to have them. I tell you, I was very worried about Down's Syndrome, carrying twins,etc but all of my boys are healthy and just adorable. It is A LOT of work and there are days I don't know how I will just get through to bedtime, but I LOVE these boys. Also, I have an older sister who just turned 40 and she has a 6 month old girl. Very healthy, adorable. My sister had problems with fibroids, strange chills and pains during her pregnancy, but she is now fine. These issues can arise when you are older and pregnant, but they go away and you are left with a little bundle! Best of luck.

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C.L.

answers from Dallas on

Well...since 30 is the new 20 you are technically only 25 ;) Seriously, I had our first at 35 and our second at 37. They are perfectly healthy children. I believe they keep us young. My husband just turned 41 (the age his mother was when she had him in the 60's). Age is just a number and it is really about how you feel mentally and phyically. Most of the friends in our circle have had children (multiples even) after 35 and we are all loving it. Don't listen to the negatives, pray about it and go with what brings you and your husband peace.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

A.,

I didn't wait quite as long. I had my first child at 31 and second at 34. I have a friend who had her third child at 37. My children are extremely healthy. I think both of them have only had a sick visit one time each. Every time I go in for a well visit my Dr. always comments on this.

I know several other women who have had babies later in their life. There are additional tests they perform after 35 and it can be considered a higher risk pregnancy.

If you received the negative feedback from your ob/gyn, find a new one. Many women are waiting to start their families.

This is your decision, you have to do what is right for you. You are going to get many stories and thoughts from other women. I had two great experiences with my pregnancies. It is a time to enjoy and treasure. Don't let other people spoil it for you.

God Bless,

J.

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

A. -
I married for the first time at age 40, had my 1st child at 42 and my last at 45. Both of my kids are beautiful, healthy and happy, and I'm so blessed to have them. My first pregnancy was easy - my last one not so much, but it wasn't complications so much as lots of discomfort (but then, that may be just having a BOY vs a girl as opposed to the age factor - who knows for sure?) I feel like I'm a better mother as I have had an opportunity to do a lot in my life, don't have any regrets and am definitely more mature and comfortable with myself than I would've been at a younger age. If you want a child, that's nobody's else's business. So, plug your ears to the naysayers and be true to what you and your husband want. Go for it, girlfriend!!

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Go for it. I had my first at 35 and my second one at 42 (took a little longer to get pregnant with him). I was more high risk with the second one because of my age and had high blood pressure (not pregnancy related). Although I worried more about the second one - I enjoyed being pregnant both times. Those boys are now 17 and 11 and they are what keeps me young and active! There were risks I suppose - but the rewards certainly outweigh those risks. My children are the joy of my life.

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N.O.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

I'm not in my 30's yet but know many women who've had babies in their 30's and they're babies were perfectly healthy.
I also LOVE watching baby shows and deliveries on TV and have seen women in their 30's with no pregnancy complications and delivered healthy babies.
Your OB will warn you if you specifically have any health risks but I would go for it if I were you.
I'm sorry you've received negative responses but 35 is really not an old age to have a child.....that's the new 25 these days for having babies! : )
It seems that more and more women are waiting until their 30's so go for it and good luck!
~N.~

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E.V.

answers from Dallas on

Dear A.

Don't worry, if you are ready to have a baby, then see if it will happen.
I'm german, 43, married second time with the right guy in 8 years. A wonderful man who takes care about his family. We have two beautiful really active little girls. (5 & almoust 8 years old.)
I never thougt about having children before I met him. I had a lot of problems getting pregnant, and I needed a lot of medicin help. (I had one miscarriage at age 33, and I thougt I will never have a baby by my self. I was so sad.)
At the time it happened I was almoust 35. I did some tests, but just the normal things. I was not able in my mind to to the special things, what the doctors like to do when you are older in expecting a baby.
I had a normal pregnancy, I just gainend a lot of weight.
I had a special sonogram at week 18, where they could show us this little tiny baby in my tummy. At this time we knew we'll have a girl and it is healthy.
After our girl's birth we moved from Germany to Switzerland, where my new doctor found out, that I have a big problem with my thyroid. Thats the piont that it wasn't easy for me to go pregnant and that I gained so much weight.
So I'm living since then with a treatment, and we got the surprise that I went pregnant in age 37 with another girl.
I gave birth to our second heathly daughter 4 days before I turned 38, after a normal pregnancy and gaining normal weight, and no special tests in the pregnancy. We believed in "a new life is a gift", and we never had could do a different decision. But that's something what every pregnant woman, or expecting parents have to decide by them selfs.
Now we have all day long 2 smart barefaced girls around, who takes our nerves and our attention, but what for us the most wonderful gifts what we ever got.
So, what I want to say you, is: It's never to late! I know a lot of "older mom's" who are happy to be a mom. Maybe we bring a little bit more experience from life with us.
My best girlfriend turned into a mom after invitro with almoust 40. A wonderful neighbour of mine here in Dallas is my age with 3 children in age 5,4 and 2. She is really busy but happy.
When your heard tells you, you are ready, then there is now way, why you don't try it and maybe it will happen to you so quickly. And even it takes a while, don't give up.
I wish you the best. Sincerely E.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I just had my first child two months before I turned 35. You are not too old. I recommend that you have a good doctor who will talk with you. In addition, just take extra good care of yourself during your pregnancy. Don't let all the negative feedback scare you. It is exhausting having a child at any age, but it is the most rewarding thing ever.

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M.E.

answers from Dallas on

I was 37 years old before I got pregnant with our one and only daughter. I had been married 10 years before this happened. There was never any thing wrong with either of us it just didn't happen and when I finally thought I was getting used to the idea of not having a baby, that's when it happened! Yes, there are always concerns about your health, no matter what age you are when you are pregnant. I had all the usual problems. Morning sickness for 3 months. I also had carpal tunnel for a while which is a common thing and she was on my sciatic nerve which was very painful. But if you worry about all of that stuff, you probably won't ever have a baby! The last two weeks of my pregnancy I was in the hospital for high blood pressure but if I would have known how easy my delivery would be I would have never worried for those two weeks. My daughter was born at 38 weeks and she was healthy and a very beautiful baby and she was a natural birth. I know older women worry about birth defects and down syndrome but that's just up to you if you want to be tested for those things. I didn't. I just said it was up to God and that's how it was and everything was great! I just don't understand when other people start telling you that you're too old. It's up to you and your husband and if you're up to your whole life changing and you don't mind that then that's as ready as you can ever be. I wish you the best of luck! There are days when I think about how old I will be when my daughter graduates from high school but I just have to get passed that. She will be starting kindergarten in the fall and I've noticed that there are other mothers out there that are close to my age or older so you're not alone. Good luck and I hope this helps!

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

I had my 1st (son) at 38 and just delivered a healthy dtr. at 41. It was interesting to find that most of my good friends and several of my family members had their children around the same age---all all healthy (even triplets). My sister is an OB/Gyn and had 2 healthy babies after 35. My son was an easy pregnancy/delivery with no issues. We unfortunately lost 4 pregnancies between our 2. We are not positive but could've been "older eggs" or a progesterone issue. It's safe to have a child after 35 but I would recommend having a good doctor and just explore all the options of testing/decision making during the process. We had to have a specialist (a Reproductive Endocrinologist) after our 4th loss and I was put on medications and blood thinners (just not as easy the second time around.) It was worth it and I had a doctor that was aggressive and just didn't say "there are not any options". We opt'd out of 2 amnios and made the decision to keep both children that we are blessed with---and were blessed to have 2 healthy children. As far as being an "older mom", there are many of us out there and it's much more common than you think. Good luck with everything!

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have a friend who had her first baby after 35 and everything was great for her. She was healthy and so was the baby. She did tell me about all the "counseling" her and her husband had to go through, but she didn't let it change her mind. In fact she is 39 now and going to think about having another one. I say, if you are healthy and want a baby, then go for it!!! Good Luck

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

A.,

WOW! You've got a lot of responses! I agree age alone does not by any means preclude healthy pregnancy. Lots of women have done it, including me.

Why not get a pre-conception evaluation? - from someone who knows what they are doing, of course. I wouldn't recommend a conventional ob/gyn. They are generally not trained to evaluate health. They usually only recommend disease-management techniques, involving drugs and surgery, once a disease process or condition manifests. Any other question is beyond their purview. But ......

You might try Dr. Margaret Christensen www.christensencenter.com

She will evaluate your diet, hormones, sleep patterns, lifestyle, stress, etc. For example, is your cycle normal? Do you know? She can help you understand what you might do, if anything, to maximize your chances of healthy conception and pregnancy. You are still young by today's standards. Some women have trouble, and some do not. All depends on you and your health. No way to predict without knowing more about YOU! Dr. Margaret will help you with that. Ask to be put on the waiting list. You can usually get in pretty quickly that way. She is VERY popular. Word is getting around about her.

It also won't help for you to have lots of negative naysayers around. If possible, consider excluding these negative antagonistic thinkers from your pursuit of your dreams, unitl the baby is born and resting comfortably in your arms, if possible. If this is not possible, a positive pre-conception evaluation may silence them. Worry thought disrupts normal hormone funtion. Minimize contact with these people.

Books to get:

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup
Wise Woman For The Childbearing Year, by Susun Weed
Conscious Conception by J. Parvati Baker

Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

I had my first child at age 25 and my 2nd child at age 38. My doctor did more sonograms the second pregnancy and everything went well. They tried to have me to have the amnio but I elected not to do it. We just prayed that our baby would be healthy and we had a beautiful little girl that will be 5 years old next month and she has been such a joy to our life. My son will be a senior in high school and my daughter will be starting kindergarten and I enjoy every minute.

S.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

I just had a baby at 35 (it wasn't my first), but the only difference was that I had to go to a perinatologist at 13 wks to have a level 2 sonogram to check for chromosomal disorders. I opted to not have a amniocentisis (doc didn't question it at all) and everything was totally fine with my little boy. The only difference afterwards that I saw with myself is that I was much more tired taking care of a little one in the middle of the night, but that was it. My pregnancy was a breeze (much easier than baby #2 that I had at 30). It's a big decision, but one you won't regret no matter what your age is.

Good luck!

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L.

answers from Dallas on

I had my daughter when I was 36. She was born healthy, but I did have 5 months of morning sickness, but that doesn't mean you would too. I do think that a 1st pregnancy on an older body is harder, but it was worth it. You just have to be aware that you need to rest more, and take it easy. Also, don't listen too much to younger women who might give you a hard time. It's challenging, but again, it's worth it. The hardest thing is being the oldest mommy no matter where I go. I am absolutely glad I did it, and am trying to have another baby. Good luck to you, and blessings!

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

I had my son 3 weeks before I turned 35. I'm so glad that we waited. I'm much happier with the person I am now than when I was younger. I know that I'm a better mother now than I would have been earlier, because I'm more settled with myself. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy. I did have an amnio, because we have some family history that makes it highly recommended, but I probably would have even if we didn't have that history. It gives you information that you wouldn't have otherwise and that allows you to plan for whatever you need for the future. In our case, the amnio allowed us to relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy, but if there had been an issue, it would have allowed us time to learn and prepare for our needs. My labor was long, but I don't think age had anything to do with it, my son is still a slow-poke and does things in his own time (he's 5). I know that I took better care of myself than I would have if I was younger. My son is still very healthy and has had no problems whatsoever.

We were even thinking about having a 2nd and I turn 40 this August. My dr. had really nothing negative to say about it, just the statistics.

Follow your heart. When we moved here we found that there are lots of others who waited longer to have children. In my son's preschool, we were not alone in our age group! Although we do realize that we also get older as he ages, we feel that we were in a much better place financially/emotionally when he was born, which just continues to improve as he ages!

Again, follow your heart! Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I had my daughter when I was 39 years old. My son was born when I turned 40. My daughter and son were healthy. My pregnancy was normal. I would have another one but my husband only wanted two. We were blessed with a girl and a boy.

Hope this helps.

M.

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J.L.

answers from Dallas on

We had our first baby when I was 43 (42 when I got pregnant) and our twins when I was 46. It is true that there are more possible complications because the eggs are older. However, if you are in good physical health and shape before pregnancy you shouldn't have any problems. My Dr. said that since I was healthy and in good shape I was less of a risk than a younger person who was not in good shape. All of our babies were born healthy. I did not have any age related problems during pregnancy. However, I wouldn't recommend waiting much longer, we don't have the energy we had in our younger years.

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J.

answers from Dallas on

Delightedly I got pregnant at 38 with my first child, had a very happy, healthy and easy pregnancy, and an extremely easy delivery. It did however take us 7 months to get pregnant naturally and we also sufferend from secondary infertility. Despite trying everything, even invitro, we were not able to have a second child. After 35 there will be additional tests that your doctor will run but he/she is really the only person who can tell you if you are at risk or not. If you are going to do it, now is the time! Good Luck!

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T.Z.

answers from Dallas on

I am currently 37, I have one son who JUST turned 1 and am pregnant with #2 due in December. SOOO it can be done! My first is perfectly healthy. At 35 there are some higher risk factors, but I think activity and lifestyle has a lot to do with it. I was worried the "shelf life" of my eggs were on the tail end. I had a c-section and it was not a problem at all. They do some exxtra screenings to check for things like Down's and trisomy-18. I did NOT have an amnio, most of the technology is far enough along to give you pretty good odds. I have to tell you that I was MUCH more nervous this go round than the last. I will deliver at 37. I just got back my nuchal translucency results and am much more at peace (it is a sonogram done by a perinatologist). At 37 my odds of having a baby w/ Down's was 1:825, but with this test my actual odds came back 1:1345...So there are little things like that along the way that allow you to keep an eye on things. Good news is, old ladies like us get LOTS of sonograms and we found out the sex of both at 12 and 13 weeks!! So there is an up side. I would say talk with your doctor and see what he/she is most concerned about...mine had absolutely none, which put me at east a LOT. Good Luck, it was WAY worth it!!!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

A. - My name is K. and I'm 44 years old. I had my first child at 34, went through breast cancer and had my second at 40 (something the docs told me would never happen). I am so glad that I waited - although I could use some more patience with my kids. I have two wonderful boys, one almost 10 and the other almost 4. I say go for it - don't worry about being older - it's worth it to see those faces and hear the words "I love you mommy" at any age. Don't be afraid - and go with your gut. There's always going to be someone out there who will try to discourage you - don't listen to them.

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M.R.

answers from Dallas on

Just go w/your gut. I was 35 when I got pregnant and had my youngest son which there is a 14 yr difference between my boys. I did have complications but it was due to the stress I was under cause of my separation from my exhusband. I did have morning sickness for 5 months and did have an emergency c-section. It was all worth it at the end and would NEVER do it any other way.

Good Luck and Many Blessings.
M.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

My daughter will be 3 in August, when I turn 40. I cannot tell you how happy I was to get pregnant at 36... The pregnancy was normal, however I had to be monitored by a perinatal specialist and my OBGYN. This was fine, just more appointments. I did have some swelling and I was put on bedrest for a month before I was induced, but it was all worth it. I had a healthy 6 pound 11 oz little bundle of pink! I would not trade this experience for anything. If you are physically fit, you will be fine. I was not as fit as I should have been for the "marathon" that pregnancy is, so the pregnancy was really rough on me. I am still trying to get rid of baby weight, but it will happen in time as I exercise. My daughter is the LOVE of my life and I would never trade that experience. DO IT!!! - C.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think it is late in life!! I had my first at 33 and just had my second at 36. I may even have another later. Both healthy pregnancies and babies. There is always the possibility of something going wrong, no matter how old you are. Don't focus on the negetive, just take care of you and the baby and don't worry about what others say. I'm so happy my life turned out the way it did and wouldn't change a thing! Go for it!! By the way, my mom was 39 when she had me in 1970 and 42 when she gave birth to my brother 3 years later. She had 4 others before us. So, she became a mom at 21 and had her last at 42. She said she enjoyed being a mom at all different ages. All healthy pregnancies and babies. Good luck to you!!!!

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R.A.

answers from Dallas on

I just gave birth to my son in March at the age of 34. He was my first child and I do plan on having more. I waited but not by choice we had fertility issues. Anyway, I had a great pregnancy no problems at all, easy labor/birth and my child is healthy. Its a wonderful experience. My friend is pregnant right now with her first child and she is 37 almost 38 and she also wants more too. She is also having a healthly pregnancy. I have another friend in my playgroup who just had her first baby at 35. There are a lot of us out there. Pregnancies can be healthy at whatever age you are and there can be problems at whatever age you are. If you want a child.....go for it. I can't tell you how in love I am with my little boy. He is the greatest thing I have ever done. You will not regret having a baby. Its such a joy!!! Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

Oh please!! Late in life--what are you shriveled up! YOU ARE IN THE PRIME OF YOUR LIFE! I'm 35 and we just started trying for #2. I had my first at 32. Don't listen to whoever is telling you that your too old to have a baby. I had a very healthy pregnancy as I was very proactive in my nutrition. Be sure to take Omega-3's, a good whole food multivitamin (the garbage that the OBGYN precribes are all synthetic, yuck!), a good probiotic (good bacteria to help with better assimilation of nutrients, found in the refrigerated section of Whole Foods or other vitamin store), I also took some specifically to help with low iron and a low thyroid. Most of the products I took were from STandard Process, a whole food supplement company that you can only get through practitioners. I am a Chiropractor and get them for my pregnant patients as well. I also was adjusted regularly before and throughout my pregnancy (which I just don't know how anyone could go through pregnancy without getting adjusted!) I had my son at a birth center with a midwife...yes, no drugs. It was quick and easy. If you research women who have chiropractic care before, during and after pregnancy have an easier pregnancy and delivery. Go to www.icpa4kids.com. Go for it! If you need any further questions answered please email me at ____@____.com. I'll be glad to share my birth story with you, refer you to a great chiropractor in your area, and hook you up with some fantastic nutrition to start you up on your journey. Women's health is a passion of mine and feel strongly that you should be able to have a very healthy, wonderful pregnancy. God-Speed.

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C.E.

answers from Dallas on

I am 40 and I had my last child at 35. Everything went well just take care of yourself and everything should be fine.

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

Go for it! Lots and lots of people are having healthy babies at "advanced maternal age" - I had my daughter at 35 and had a very easy pregnancy and happy healthy baby. We are about to try for #2 at age 37 now. And really, women have been having babies at 35+ forever, they were just not the first babies. My OBGYN didn't have her first until she was 37 and she has 3 now. Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

I am speaking from a friend of mine. She got married at 37/husband same age and the baby came along the day after her 39th birthday. Though she loves her husband/child, she wishes she had never relented in having a child at this stage of life. The mobility is not the same as a 20 something... sleep deprived nights... Most of the friends has children in junior high or high school or even college. And here A. comes along with her little one. Freedom or going to do something at a drop of a hat is not an option.

Enjoy your nieces/nephews/friends children.

But after seeing what my friend A. goes through... no way.

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

Amniocentesis is not required in Texas for insurance to cover 100%. Just thought I'd put that one to rest. I didn't do it!

I didn't have my first until 37. Not by choice, just had problems and couldn't conceive until then. My 2nd came at 39, I was pregnant at 41 and miscarried, they said chromosomal but now I believe it was low progesterone levels, and had my 4th pregnancy/3rd full term and delivery, just last year at 44. She was a surprise! I found out after my miscarriage that I was in peri-menopause. So, when I got pregnant this last time, they immediately checked my progesterone levels. They were low, so they put me on progesterone until 12 weeks pregnant. At 35, you shouldn't have that problem. But, doesn't hurt to check, if you're nervous about it. You should be fine...I know of women still having babies in their upper 40's with no problem. It's a genetic thing more than an age thing. Another thing to do if you're nervous is genetic counseling. They did this with my last baby: blood work and a consult with a genetic counselor. Turns out I had very little chance of having a baby with chromosomal problems, and they didn't think it was anymore necessary than I did to have an amniocentesis. I never had one (until just before I had my last baby, and only to make sure her lungs were developed before they delivered her a few weeks early.) My insurance paid all they were supposed to, and I received a refund from my dr. when it was all over! Your dr. (and insurance? call and ask) may ask you to do genetic counseling, but they didn't require me to have an amniocentesis. And, I'm in Texas. Had my first in NC, and they didn't require it, either.

You're fine! Go for it! 35 is NOT late! You're at a great age to get pregnant!

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B.H.

answers from Dallas on

I was pregnant with my first baby at 35 and had my second at 37. Each time there were problems, but had nothing to do with age. There are positive and negatives to everything. By having my babies later I am more patient, can see the big picture of it all, appreciate every growth stage so much and know that this is it. However, I get tired faster and sometimes people allude to the possibility that I am the grandmother! Here in the south everyone has their children so young. In the east it's unusual to have your children so early. My boys are 7 and 8 right now and we have all the usual struggles that anyone would have. Just one more thing, breast feeding is far and above more important for the health of your baby than anything else you could do. Good Luck, B.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Believe it or not, 35 is not that old anymore. I had mine at 38. It was fine. Easy pregancy and delivery. They do some extra monitoring due to the age. Had a perfectly, wonderfully healthy baby boy. 35 is a great age! My sister is almost 40, and my mother had her at age 36. Medicine is even better now than then. My advice would be to go for it! Children are a blessing and a joy! Don't miss out if you really are desiring children. As far as I'm concerned, you've got time to have a couple!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

I had my daughter 2 years ago when I was 36. I had a healthy pregnancy and my daughter is a happy, healthy 2 year old that is quite stubborn, but I don't think we can blame my age for that. Many of my friends and co-workers have had children after 35 and they have all been fine. Talk to you OB/GYN to know your risks and then know that there are tons of women just like you. Good wishes in whatever decision you make.

A.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

I've been on both sides of this. I had my first at age 23, my second and third at 30 and 32 and my fourth one month before I turned 38. The only difference I noticed durning my pregnancy was that I felt more tired but that could be because I had 3 other kids to deal with. I was also older and wiser so I ate better, took better care of myself and didn't gain as much weight. I was surprised when my doctor asked me to visit a specialist due to my age. She wanted me to have an "in dept" sono. When we went for the sono, a "genetic counseler" talked to us first like a sales person trying to "sell us" the genetic testing and screenings for everything. Some of the staticis she gave and things she said kind of scared us. But, my husband and I deceided that we didn't want those and just had the sono, which showed a healthy baby growing. We were confident that we had genetically had 3 healthy kids before and if this one had problems (and from the sono didn't look like it) that we would deal with it. Of course we had a perfectly healthy baby boy and at 2 years old, he is an absolute joy and perfect addition to our family. He keeps us young. So good luck and do in your heart what you feel is right - don't let others scare you.

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hello! I had my 3 pregnancies from ages 30 to 35 years old. Many women wait later to have children. However, there is an increased risk for many chromosomal syndromes such as Downs Syndrome. However, my first child, conceived at 29 years old, was born with special needs. So the risk can happen to anyone at any age. You will be approached about an amniocentesis, which is required by the state of Texas for insurance companies to cover 100% for women 35 years old and older. I had 2 of them. Also the quad test (or triple test)is not always reliable, too. There are a lot of false positives. What you need to decide is are you ready to take on a special needs child if you so happen to have one? It was a full blown shock to my system when I realized my son had a lot of medical problems. However, the chances of having special needs children are slim. You can always meet with a Genetic Counselor, which I did before I had my last 2 children, to assess your risk factors based on family history. Anyway 35 years old is not old! I am 36 years old and really enjoy my children. I think I enjoy them more due to my age and maturity. A lot of women have children at that age and older, who were perfectly healthy. I think there are risks involved in EVERY pregnancy. I have had healthy pregnancies with all of them except premature birth with my first at age 30. Do not listen to anyone about it being "so late". I have a mantra: Better late than never. I say "Go for it!" Good luck!!

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know if this will help or not. I gave birth at 38 years old. The caveat is she is my third, not my first, but there are eight years between her and my last child. Not to mention the fact that I decided I wanted to deliver vaginally even though #2 had been a C-Section. I never had any negative feedback from the folks around me . . . who are these people in your life who think they can pass judgement!? Anyway, I say if you really want a child then go for it. Health risks are slightly higher when you're older, but you're under 40 and that is when the risks usually become greater. All I can say is that I had a very healthy, normal pregnancy and delivery and I have a beautiful 18 month old daughter who is a delight. I would do it again now, at age 40 (except my husband said "enough" and got a vasectomy!).

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

While I can't speak for myself on this I can vouch for you still yet. My grandmother gave birth to a baby boy at the (ripe?) age of *41* and surprise, surprise, this baby boy was the healthiest of her baby boys! And this was in the mid-1960's- before they had all the fancy testing and monitoring they do nowadays. This healthy baby boy is still thriving BTW.

Perhaps 41 is quite a way from your age but I just wanted to give you a living example that yes, you can have healthy, triving kids after 35. Keep your chin up and ignore those remarks. You don't even have to stop at just one if you don't want to. ;-)

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

My heavens, I had my son on my 40th birthday! Sailed through the pregnancy and worked out regularly
You can do a CVS at 13 weeks that will scan for downs, CF, ect. what you do with that information is up to you. My husband "made" me have it - but I knew I was keeping the baby no matter what
I have an amazing 2 year old who is already potty trained and talking in full sentences! :O)

Go for it! If I was still married I would be having my second about now!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

We waited 10 years (moved around alot, so we took our time). I was 39 when I conceived, 40 when I delivered. I had a very easy pregnancy, and also my delivery was fine - no epidural! I am glad I did it, and glad I waited, as I feel like I was more ready now than I would have been. I would talk to your OB about the safety issues, but I believe as long as you take care of yourself, aside from the slightly higher risk of some chromosomal abnormalities (downs, etc), age risks aren't that much of a factor. You're pretty young still - 35 isn't old for childbearing (just older :)

Good luck and ENJOY!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I had my son at 35 and will have another as soon as he is out of diapers! A good friend of mine had one in her 40's. If your Dr says ok, then do it and don't let nay-sayers hold you back!!

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B.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.!

go for it!!
I had my first child at 35, and my 2nd child at 38 and she was 10 pounds! :) My pregnancies were fine.
They're 15 and 13 now and very healthy.

I did not have the amnio tests done with my two.....but many moms do. There were personal reasons we did not do that and I won't take up space here for that.

You have not waited too late........ I would imagine that you will get so so many responses just like mine, urging you to consider starting a family. You sound very mature and in my opinion, you will be a great mom!! There is no greater joy. I wish you God's richest blessings.

and don't listen to those negative fuddy duddies! humphf!

B.

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T.

answers from Dallas on

Goodness, I'm reading this thinking 'who in the world would be getting on you for wanting to have a baby at 35!' That is NOT old. In fact, I had my son when I was 35 years old and he is a very healthy, extremely bright 2 yr old that is the absolute joy of our life. I am SO glad we were older when our son was born because I am a more patient, calm mother and are lives are financially and emotionally secure.
We did have to go through infertility procedures to have our son though as it does become harder to get pregnant in your mid-late 30s. That's just a medical fact. BUT, it does not mean that you shouldn't try. Being a MOM is the absolute deepest, purest joy I have ever known. You will NEVER regret your decision to have a child but you very well could regret your decision not to.
If your husband/partner is supportive, then I say go for it. If you're not pregnant within 6 months, see an endocronologist though as you shouldn't wait to seek help. If you're unsure of whether you are ready and healthy to have a baby, your obgyn can do some tests and general checks to calm your fears.
35 is the start of the best part of life! We're going to have another baby and I'll be (gasp!) 38 by the time this child is born. My mother was 41 when she had her 5th child and she is absolutely healthy as well.
Good luck and best wishes!

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

Go for it! I had my first beautiful healthy son at 35 and my second at 37. I took all of the precautions (i.e. only ate foods that were considered safe by my doctorn, no smoking or drinking, etc.) and was very blessed. They embody the best part of me and I'm so thankful that I wasn't talked out of it due to concerns about my age. Sure, I'd like the energy of a 20-something mom (especially when chasing around my 2 year old!), but I feel that I make up for that with experience and patience.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I had my first son at age 38 and my second son at age 42. I am now almost 52 with a 13 year old and a 9 year old. I had gestational diabetes and a C-section with both, but that may have had nothing to do with my age. Neither was a big problem and both of my boys are healthy, smart and happy. I believe that medically, it is not the danger that it used to be. I will say that there are other issues to consider. It may have been my imagination, but I often felt awkward around other younger moms. I had a hard time finding a support group of other mothers when my sons were young. I even joined a MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) group at my church. It was helpful, but I never seemed to be able to really connect with the mothers that were 20 years younger than me. Fortunately, I look younger than I am, so many people are surprised when I tell them my age. But still, I feel I really missed out on having a close group of women friends to share child rearing with. Most of my friends have grown children. This makes it difficult to do things together, because we needed a babysitter and they didn't. They are at a point in their lives when they are taking trips together and doing things they always wanted to do. Some are even grandparents.

Now that my kids are school age, it is not as bad, but still we don't tend to socialize with our kid's friend's parents. This is very different from my upbringing, where some of my best friends, were also my parents friends and we did things together as families.

A few years ago, we took my boys snow skiing for the first time and they loved it. But it was a bit much for me and my husband. We are not in the best shape we could be in and sometimes we just don't feel like our kids get to do some things that other kids do. We are trying to save for college and retirement at the same time. I often worry that if my kids wait as late as I did, that I will not be healthy enough or even alive to see my grandchildren. So, not to be negative, just wanted to help you think past the healthy pregnancy/baby part. If I could do things differently, I would have preferred to have had my children much younger, but it didn't happen that way. The alternative would be to not have them at all, which would not be my choice. They are a joy and I would hate to miss out on the pleasure of being a parent. Just be prepared to have a different experience than younger parents. I encourage you to try to develop some friendships with other mature parents and take care of yourself so you can be an active, healthy mom. Good luck!

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K.E.

answers from Dallas on

Well, anyone who is giving you negative feedback should definitely be off the Christmas list!
I had my child at 41. I'm 52 now. It was a healthy, easy pregnancy. I was never sick and worked the Friday before delivery on Monday! For me it was a breeze and I had all the worries, fears etc about delivering and carrying at an "advanced maternal age". My kiddo was and continues to be healthy as a horse. He never had ear infections, never had "croup", not a thing. He nursed every five seconds but thats another story!
When I tell people how old I was when he was born they think nothing of it and everyone seems to know someone even OLDER who has had a great pregnancy. As long as you find a doctor that is supportive and you are in good health, go for it. You may be a bit more tired than the "twenty somethings" but that is about it!

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

We had our 1st baby last year (at 34 because it took us 6 years to get pregnant), and hope to have another in the next couple of years (God willing). She had a little trouble with an aggressive cold/virus (at 4 months), but now (at 11 months) she is as healthy as can be. I have plenty of friends with babies who were much younger when they had them, and they have been sick with various ailments at various times too. I don’t think it matters, just take care of yourself and find a good, SUPPORTIVE OBGYN.

I think the biggest warning I can give you it that because you are older, the first year of her/his life may be really tough on you (as it has been for us)… My Mom was blesses to have 6 children. She has told me that the last 2 were definitely the hardest to carry, to deliver, and to take care of that first year (simply because she felt like she had less energy and that her body was worn out due to her age - and probably the fact that she already had 4 of us!). So, I guess, just be sure that you rest a lot when you are pregnant (iow - SLOW down / change your lifestyle then... before baby arrives), so that you are at your best the day of birth.

Also, be sure you take some vitamins (start now) and eat as healthy as you can stand to! The better you take care of yourself, the more your body can ignore your needs and focus on properly developing (feeding) your baby.

Being a Mom is the most wonderful thing in the world! Best wishes!!! :)

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

I say go for it.
If you are in relatively good health and get good prenatal care you can certainly have a trouble free pregnancy.
I was 31 with my first and now am 35 and 8 mos preg with #2(probably not my last.)
Your ob will probably encourage you to have more tests done but they are all voluntary and can give you peace of mind.
Talk to your mother and aunts about their pregnancies, they can give you an idea of how your body will handle it. It's not always easy but with a willing to help and understand partner totally doable. Have a blast!

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E.B.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
Dont let what anyone else thinks stop you from having a child. It would be a shame for you to look back on life when it's really too late and think I should have just done it. I had my first at 34, 2nd at 36 and maybe another one in a year or so. Just go with your maternal instinct...you will be fine.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I say go for it. Don't listen to others, do what your heart says. I am 38 and I have 1.5 and 4.5. My pregnancy was great, I did not do an amnio because it didn't matter what the test said but the dr did do some other test for downs. The only thought I have is will I be to old to see my grandchildren but it doesn't matter now that I have these 2 gifts from God. They are such a blessing to our lives. A child will change you for the good forever and it is wonderful.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I had my 1st baby when I was 35. Initially, I was so worried because of all the tests and the fact that the medical professionals "diagnosed" me with "advanced maternal age!" But, for me having a baby at this age has been a blessing to me. I feel more confident in myself and have a ton more patience in dealing with all the trials of motherhood. I had my second baby at 36 and still am grateful I waited later. I am probably more tired than mother's who are younger but the fact that I'm more settled in my life has made me a better mother. Good luck to you.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

My last baby was born at 35. I have a good friend now pregnant at 35. If you have been given negative feedback, I'm so sorry. Many women are waiting later to have children. There might be a higher risk for certain defects, but if you have a good ob/gyn and follow a plan there should be no problem with having a child at 35.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

I had my first child when I was 31. I was 37 and 38 when I had my 2nd and 3rd children. All were healthy pregnancies and healthy, natural deliveries. Prenatal care is so great now that I feel it is pretty safe to wait up until about age 40 (as long as you are healthy before you get pregnant.)

Good Luck!! Kids are such a blessing!!

C. P. (wife to a wonderful husband and mother of 3(ages 9, 3, and 20 mos.)

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

I was a surrogate for a woman who was 35 at the time of her egg retrieval (the reason for her needing a surrogate had nothing to do with her age so don't let that freak you out ;) ). Her baby was born healthy & beautiful and, at age four, still is. She went on to have another baby via surrogacy about a year and a half later.

Don't listen for a second to the negative feedback, unless it comes from your doctor. Everyone else can shove it. :)

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

I am a mother of two children and I didn't have the first one until I was 38 because for 8 years I couldn't conceive and nobody seemed to be worried about it except me. I had the second baby at 39 and I didn't have any problems, as a matter of fact, I had the best pregnancies...I only gained 12 pounds with each baby and never had any morning sickness. They are 14 months apart. My babies were very healthy and their weight was 8.15 and the other was 8.13 so they were where they expected them to be. My Ob-Gyn was wonderful and although they classify women who are over 35 high-risk, they didn't make a fuss about it because all my blood work was great and I didn't have any health issues. I also have several friends, one in particular that had twins at 44 and one other is 41 and will be having her first baby this October. By the way, I'm happy it was in God's timing and not my own...it's great and we're very blessed.

V.W.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not a doctor, but a friend of mine got pregnant at 38 and their baby is healthy and smart. i think you can talk to you OB/GYN first. I know it's doable

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

I had my twin boys when I was 36 yrs old and had a healthy pregnancy. My doctor told me women who are above 35 yrs have a higher chance of having twins, so that is definately a consideration. I have found that emotionally this age is definately better for me, but I am having to really care for myself physically to keep up with my boys.

That was the one area, I didn't expect or think about when I waited so long to have children. The older we are, we have to spend a little more time caring for ourselves physically to insure we have the energy and patience to handle our toddlers and be alive and healthy when they graduate from high school! Yikes!

Overall, I believe waiting until I was 36 to have my children was the best decision I could have ever made. I am mature enough to fully appreciate the time I have with my children and manage the rest of my life, which for young mothers, can be such a challenge.

Good Luck to you and keep us all posted!

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hello A.. As long as your health is good & your doc says you're cool, go for it. I'm currently 39 years old with a 5 month old & pregnant again (5 weeks along). I had absolutely NO problems with my pregnancy or labor. My sweet baby boy is perfect!

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G.N.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.!

I just turned 40 in September and I'm a mom to a handsome 3 yr. old and a beautiful 4 month old! I would say it is a little harder to rebound from the sleepless nights than it probably would have been if I had done this earlier in life but I wouldn't change anything!! I don't think I would have been as good a mommy any younger, I don't think I would have appreciated or enjoyed being a parent as much as I do now. I agree with the others that it's hard to make friends w/other kids parents because they're generally quite a bit younger and in a different place as far as lifestyle most of the time, but we have a blast with our kids and we're looking forward to the time when they are both old enough to start venturing out more actively. I think it's key to take good care of yourself too, we need to stay in shape and take more agressive care of ourselves so we can keep up and do all the fun stuff our kids are going to want to do and that we are going to want to share and do with them as well. So, as long as you don't have any glaring problems with your health that could cause you to have trouble with a pregnacy I say go for it! If it's your Dr. holding you back find a different one :-) Good luck!

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K.J.

answers from Dallas on

Anyone giving you negative feedback for wanting to have a child at 35 ("late in life") is clearly living in the Stone Ages!!! 35, while considered "advanced maternal age" is not at all old and. Many women have healthy pregnancies in to their 40's. I had my first child at 34 and could not have been healthier or happier with the decision. Pregnancy was totally nornal and my baby is completely healthy. I personally feel that your thirties is the perfect time fo rhaving a family. You are wiser, have most likely experienced more of the world and are potentially more financially ready for the expenses of raising a family. I truly believe I am a FAR MORE patient, tolerant and knowledgeable parent than I would have been in, say, my early twenties.

MOst of my friends waited until AT LEAST their early thirties to start their families and I have certainly never heard anyone say "I wish I had kids sooner" We are planning a second around my 36th birthday. THough there may be a slightly increased risk of a complicated pregnancy there is a far higher likelyhood that you would deeply regret never becoming a mother! Best Wishes on the wonderful journey to come.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

35??? That's not old! My best friend just had a healthy baby at 42. I had my first child at 34 and my third at 39. All three were and are healthy. I had amniocentisis with my second two because I was over 35. If there was anything wrong I wanted to be prepared. I'm surprised you've gotten negative remarks because it really is a common thing these days for women to be having babies over 35. Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

I had my first child at 34 and my second at 37. I did have a miscarriage before each live birth. Not sure if that had anything to do with age and yet it sometimes happens so keep the faith and try again if it happens to you. Both of the "good" preganancies were very easy and both babies were perfect in every way.

I would never pass on the chance to be a mom. In fact, I'm thinking about trying again at 45 but need to talk hubby into a vasectomy reversal first! I think as an older mom I have a lot more patience than I would have had in my younger years. And guess what, most of my sons' friends are around my age so you won't stand out at the PTA meetings!

My advice is to put it in God's hands and be happy there's so much great medical technology available now that wasn't there before.

BTW, I market a product that is AWESOME for pregnant and nursing moms, especially those without the time or energy to eat properly. It puts fruits and veggies into a capsule so you can bridge the gap between what you know you should eat and what you actually do eat each day. Both mom and baby get optimal nutrition in an easy, convenient, affordable way.

Let me know if you'd like more info on that.

God bless you and your future family!

M.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
Please don't hesitate to have a child if you want one. Technically the doctors will probably say you're higher risk because you're 35; but, if you are healthy I think you should go for it. I had my first and only pregnancy at 39 which resulted in my wonderful twins (now 9). Talk to your OB/GYN. I say "go for it"! B. C

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

I also say go for it!!! I am currently 37 and pregnant with my 3rd child due in September and everything is going great. My youngest daughter is 14 years old so I feel as though I am starting over. More women than ever these days seem to be having children at an older age. Be prepared to hear though, that you are a high risk pregnancy for no other reason than your age. I was scared when I first found out that I was pregnant (it was a complete surprise) thinking that I was just "too old to be doing this again" but my doctor told me not to let that scare me and I have been doing just that and enjoying every minute of it. I can't advise on the healthy birth yet as I am still waiting for that answer myself(lol)but it is looking good so far. Good luck in whatever decision you choose. I am sure that whatever decision you make will be the right one for YOU and that is all that really matters.

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.. I was unable to conceive so I did not get PG with my 1st until I was 40. I had to ungergo IVF and delivered a healthy son at the age of 41. I did not think I would be able to get PG on my own and wasn't sure I wanted to go through the expense of IVF a 2nd time. To my biggest surprise, I got PG a second time by accident just 7 months after my 1st son was born! Apparently, you are super fertile after you have a child (even if you were previously infertile). I am now 42 and will be delivering my 2nd son next month. I had CVS testing at 12 weeks gestation for both PG and neither had any abnormalities. I have 2 other friends that are my age and are pregnant. One is having her 1st, the other is having her 2nd (back to back like me). My sister had her 3rd child at the age of 39 as well. I think it is becoming more of the norm these days for people to start having children well into their 30s and even 40s. Check out most of the celebrities these days that are waiting until their late 30s through their mid 40s to have their 1st child. With medical science being so advanced, people are living a lot longer and are able to conceive and carry healthy babies later in life. I would ignore any negative comments that you hear from other people. I have no regrets and have not had any negative feedback from anyone I know. If anything, all my friends and family were absolutely ecstatic to hear of my pregnancies and were only supportive. Hope this helps you. Good luck!

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