Looking for Creative Ways to Get My Son to Do His Chores

Hello B.,

There is a great book called 1-2-3 Magic about how to work with your kids and have them work with you! I don't remember the author as I lent the book to someone, but I highly recommend the book. It worked wonders with my daughter!

~A.

Well, my son is much younger but I have always talked to him about our family being like a team. "I help you, you help me, we all help each other...." He doesn't and never will get money for chores since we work as a family/team to support each other but will get an allowance someday to help him learn money management. He is almost 6.

At 9, your son could probably understand with an explanation. Maybe show him a list of all of your responsiblities from major to minor (seriously include EVERYTHING from taking care of yourself, setting the table, cleaning....)and explain that if you had help, there would be more time for fun like playing his favorite board/card game or something and that mommy would feel better and be more likely to do fun stuff.

If you still struggle, I might consider telling him no when he asks for your help with something. Tell him that your list is too long but that if he helped you with something, you could then help him. Just keep reinforcing the idea of team and that you get tired and work hard too. (Keep showing him your long list). Maybe even let him choose some things from your VERY long list that he could then put under his name that also shows things he already does to care for himself and school responsibilities. That might even boost his self-esteem to see that he is responsible and helpful.

Good luck!

Why does he have to "want" to help? Honestly, I don't know many people who "want" to clean, they just do it because it needs to be done. Give him an age appropriate chore or two and require that he do it - because you're the mommy and you're in charge. You can still pay him of course. All the time I was growing up my father had a chore list for all 5 kids and we didn't have a problem with that. We didn't want to do them, but we did because he said so.

There is an internet site called www.payjr.com and it is pretty neat. you should check it out. I think it may help him with doing his chores, it is pretty neat. Let me know what ya think.

From the sounds of it, he has the idea that he gets to bargian and debate things with you. You're the parent, don't allow that. Give him a list of chores, ones that you say he needs to do, and if he doesn't have them done in a resonable amount of time, he gets grounded, tv taken away, whatever. Something else you might try... when he comes home from school, he is to do a chore or sit in one specific chair (obviously in a room that you are near but he can't see the tv, play with others, etc.)... make him aware that those are his only two choices, sitting in the chair or doing the chores you have asked him to do... once they are done, he is welcome to do what he would like. As for the explanation, any child says that... the problem is, you listen.

What does he like to do, what are some of his favorite things? Maybe you could try the "token jar"....You set up a chart with his name, and a list of the things you want done, and for each chore, he can earn a specific amount of tokens, which can be traded for things, like 5 tokens is pizza night, 3 tokens a movie of his choice and so on.... you get the general idea, I mean you could do it according to your budget, your sons likes and his personality etc....I hope this helps :-)

Hello,

I have no experience with a 9 year old but know about a book called "Creative Correction" by Lisa Welchel that talks about ways to get your children to do things like chores. It's never too late! Here's a link...

http://www.creativecorrection.com/

Good luck!

We assign one chore a day for our kids to each do. We tried to choose things that they don't mind helping us out with. Then if they do all of the chores for that week, they either get a treat of pizza and movie night or I have a few hot wheels cars wrapped up they get to choose from. We have found that the money thing was really complicating things. I know it's hard to find the time sometimes to spend with them but we found that the pizza, movie night became a huge hit. It's a way for us all to sit down together. And they like the idea of earning it. When we gave them money, it was more of they could either take it or leave it. We had a lot more arguements. Now we have place the importance of helping the family out so we can all have fun, we work as a unit.

Hello B.
Everyone has two core motivating factors,
either toward pleasure or away from pain,
one is always stronger than the other.
For instance if I know that if I do all the dishes my husband will cook a delicious meal, It's not as motivating for me as if I tell myself if I don't do the dishes I'll have an unpleasant night with an annoyed husband eating PBJ's.
My main motivating factor is away from pain.
Find out what you son's main motivator is
if it is toward, I like Ruth's advice,
if it's away from, I like Karen's
Hope this helps : )

For me and my nine year old have printed out a chore list and everytime that he does his chore without me having to get on his case about it he gets a gold star we have a system set up that once he gets 5 gold stars we get to go out to eat (at the fine dining place of his choice which is usually McDonalds).... After 10 gold stars we will have a movie night and after getting 20 gold stars we get to go to the movie theator to watch a movie. Started this when he was about 7ish and so far the system is working well. The house remains clean without me having to work full time then come home and clean for hours, and we also enjoy some quality time together doing fun stuff.

For me I am a mom with two boys the oldest is 15 and the youngest is 9.