Male Daycare Workers

Updated on January 07, 2013
V.G. asks from Birmingham, AL
38 answers

What are your feelings on this? I haven't had time to get on here in a while, so sorry if this has been asked before.
Does the age group make a difference to you? (baby room vs 4yr olds)
Have your feelings on this changed over the years? And Why?
Just curious, there are 2 at my daycare, both of them being the afternoon teacher in my daughter's class (she turns 4 in Feb).
Not trying to start a debate, just want to get other views. Sorry so short, I'm working like a mule and needed a break:)
Thanks and have a great weekend!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the responses!! I really didn't expect that many, and I was honestly surprised that the majority were positive. Maybe it's just skeptic in me. I don't really care what gender they are as long as they take care of her to the best of their ability. Men are just as capable of being sympathetic and competent caregivers as women. I think that the statistics make us jaded, and I'm just as guilty as the next person for letting that affect my judgement. I can honeslty say that if I had asked this question a few years ago, my answer would be totally different. The most important thing is to trust your gut as a parent, stay informed of your surroundings, and to teach your kids the same thing. Remember that criminals use psychology just like you and I, and last time I checked they outnumbered us. And just so that no one thinks I am singling out men, there are just as many women out there that are psychos too. Don't automatically assume that because someone is female that they have a maternal instinct.

Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I see it as no different than there being male teachers in elementary school, middle school, high school, and college.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

All I care about in a day care worker is their ability to take care of my child. Whether they have dangly bits is irrelevant.

8 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Tampa on

I don't see what a difference sex makes. Females can be horrible just as males can. I worked with a male preschool teacher and he was awesome! He had a little girl in the center himself.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I really don't care, and I think it's silly that so many moms do. What would you think if someone told your husband that he couldn't watch his kids because he's a man?

That simply doesn't make sense. Why are women okay, but not men? After all...half of the majority of parental units....are men. Dads. Dads are capable of being dads, but not caring for children? Lame.

I say if they love teaching/working with kids, are kind, responsible, confident, qualified, and pass all the background checks, it doesn't matter what gender they are.

15 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have never had a problem with male babysitters or day care workers. I think my oldest was eight when I had the opportunity to hire one. My god my son was thrilled when he babysat!! No barbies tonight!!!! The kid would play video games with him, happiness.

I really don't understand why so many woman are freaked out by it. Look at your sons, wouldn't you trust your son to watch your kids? All they are is someone else's sons, ya know?

I have four kids, my oldest is now 24, of all the babysitters I have ever had, the worst were girls. No one abused my kids but some were rather neglectful.

I guess I am saying look at the person, not the gender.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Male daycare workers... Are AWESOME.

At least all the ones that I've known. I can't say how invaluable my sons male teachers have been to him... Nor how much better I got on with make staff when I was a kid.

Men & women are just different. Not better/worse, just different.

That said... The male teachers tend to be 'better' purely in that its not a culturally normal role... So those that DO work in the field tend to do it because they love it / feel passionately about their work. There are anaaaaazing women daycare providers as well... But one finds a lot more "I need money so I guess I can work with kids if I have to" with women than men. (Same thing one finds in male dominated fields: construction, military, etc. A lot more men do xyz because they feel they have to or might as well, while women in male dominated fields have to really work hard to be there).

There's a GREAT line in a song by Dan le Sac v Scroobius Pip:

Thou shalt not believe that every man over 30 who plays with a child who is not their own is a pedophile. Some people are just nice.

Are there pedophiles out there? Sure. But I'm not going to have my son never spend time around straight men (most pedophiles are straight men), because a few straight men are monsters. Nor assume that all women are safe.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh no! All the Men are Pedophiles! Or, you know, just a guy who works with children. My daughter's daycare teacher was male last year and he's the one who drives her to school this year. They also have a man who comes in in the afternoons with the school age kids. It never occurred to me to wonder if this should be a problem.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

V. -- no, that wouldn't bother me. In fact it would be good for kids to see a man in that type of role. Just like the "old days" when it was pointed out to kids as oh so great to see a woman who was, gasp, a firefighter or doctor or other "male" job, right?....It's sad that we should find it unusual or somehow suspect that a man would want to work around young children.

Someone posted that men aren't right for daycare or preschool because "men aren't usually intuitively maternal." Nope, they're not; but many ARE intuitively paternal. The "men aren't right for this" idea is the same thinking that says men shouldn't be nurses (not intuitively good at caring for others) or elementary school teachers (not intuitively good with kids that age). Let's call that notion what it is: Sexist. (Not you, V., but those who would say that men shouldn't do these jobs because of some fear they are ALL potential abusers.)

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Our preschool had one, Mr. David. He was the boyfriend of another teacher and worked there part time while he was going to school to become a science teacher. All the kids loved him and so did all the parents, as far as I know.
We also know a family that had a young male German au pair for their two boys. Their thinking was that he would be more fun and playful with the boys and he was!

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Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

The same feelings I have toward a female daycare worker. As long as they do the job well I can't say I care about the sex they happen to be.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I think that first and foremost, teachers need to competent, qualified and caring. I say this both as a mom and as a person who has worked with all ages in the daycare setting.

I have had great and lousy teacher's assistants of both genders. Being a woman does not make a person more qualified to change diapers, give a child a bottle, discipline a child, or love up the kids. (And they *DO* need lots of safe, affectionate touch from their caregivers, female or male.)

In fact, my very favorite, best assistant was a young man who loved kids and had a great sense of both camaraderie and guidance with the toddlers we worked with. I truly hope he chose this as his profession, because he truly had a gift, both with the kids and the parents.

Men can often bring great guidance, empathy and authority to this task. Working at nonprofit daycares, too, I have seen the positive role models these men have been for kids whose fathers are not in the picture or whose fathers are dealing with violence/anger issues. For some kids, finding a 'safe' man to look up to is very helpful and healing.

I'm excited that my profession is becoming more accepting of men as caregivers. Years ago, many people had the opinion that only child molesters would want to work with kids. I find that to be a very sexist and narrow opinion of men. There are whack-jobs of both genders in this business, as there are in ANY business, (and I've actually met more women in this line of work who patently *should not be around kids* than I have men--perhaps it's because guys have to jump through a lot more hoops and really want to do this job to be drawn to it?) I believe that each teacher should be judged on how they manage the classroom, their abilities and the areas they need improvement on, much the same way we would assess a primary or secondary school teacher.

(My son's caregiver, when he was in his first year of preschool, was a great SAHM neighbor. We saw how well he did with his daughter, who was a bit older, and knew it would be a good arrangement.)

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

At my daughters' (excellent) preschool, there was a male teacher who was beloved by all. He was fun and a little rambunctious; basically he was a big kid himself. I feel like he made the preschool experience really fun (for us as parents, as well as for the kids).

Now that my kids are older, one of their babysitters (for when my husband and I go out for dinner, etc) is a teenaged boy. His mom used to be our daycare lady, so this kid grew up helping his mom take care of kids. My kids love him. He is fun in a way that sometimes the girl babysitters aren't - he is less worried about them getting messy or being loud. But yet, he is very conscientious, makes sure they eat their dinner, brush their teeth, and get to bed on time. He is every bit as good as the girl babysitters (maybe even more so, because he will enthusiastically play trucks or dinosaurs with my 7-year old. ;)

In short, I think it's great that men like to take on less traditional roles. Kids (both girls and boys) need male role models in all areas of their lives. They need to see that dads change diapers and cook meals just like moms do. Likewise, they need to see that moms can provide for a family financially and can work in fields that are traditionally male-dominated.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Having had my kids in daycare and being a daycare provider myself, I can say that I wish there were more men who worked in caregiving. The provider we had for our two kids before I began daycare, was a man. He was THE best daycare provider I have ever known... completely magic with the kids and all of the parents and kids loved him.
I don't have issues with gender as long as the person is gifted with working with children.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

My husband is more nurturing with my children a lot of the time than I am. So no I would not have a problem with a male daycare teacher. The daycare my son's used to go to had male teachers usually in the older classes. And they thought they were the coolest. There was someone there that had boy interests. But I would have no problem with them watching a girl either.

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L.

answers from Mobile on

Wow! While I taught preschool in grad school, I worked with FOUR male teachers (and a couple of other women), and I loved it! One was the owner, another was getting his PhD in early childhood development, and the other two were both kids at heart who enjoyed the work. It was wonderful for the kids to see men in caregiving roles who were plenty manly yet still sensitive. I think it was especially good for the boys to have those role models. This was in Austin though . . . . I never see that here in Alabama, and I really miss it. Do we really want to teach our kids that men don't care for children? Or that men are to be feared? Do we really think that men are going to handle kids roughly because they're men?? I would jump at the chance to have teachers of both genders at my two yo's school. Unless they seem weird or off or something (women certainly can be too), I would be delighted!!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter has a male music teacher in pre-K, and he's great. I take her to playcare where a male is a primary care giver. The first time I walked in, I thought that was unusual, but I was so wrong. He is fabulous with all the kids, and the pre-teen boys really connect well with him. He is very good with discipline, cares for the kids and puts together fun activities for the kids. My daughter does not have enough male role models in her life, so I think it is actually beneficial for her to have the opportunity to interact with a male who is not merely someone that she views as a fun playmate (like her cousin and uncle are viewed). In a daycare, I look for security measures, background checks, multiple people around, cameras, etc. to ensure that children are properly protected, regardless of caretaker gender.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest son had two different male child care teachers. One was an early childhood intern and he assisted the teachers when he was 3 yo and the other was his pre-k room.

At first, I was suprised. Not everyday you see a male in the role of teacher. both were great experiences and I really appreciated the dynamic the male teachers brought to the classrooms.

It doesn't bother me. I think males are great at any age and are OK at any age, but it is still one of those professions that makes you take a second glance - like a female NASCAR driver - since there isn't a lot of them, it makes you take notice:)

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I think it's great! I work at a school and we have 1 male teacher there. Years ago before I had my own kids I was working at another preschool and my aide was a 19 year old male. The kids loved him. There are some kids who don't have a male role model to look up to and they need that. Once a week when my husband was able last year with his work schedule he would go into my daughter's class and read to them. I have no problem with male teachers

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think it's ridiculous to assume nefarious motives to a man just because he's a man.
it's terrible that men who are good with kids and love them are all now suspect because this country is a little wack.
:( khairete
S.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It's wrong to scrutinize ALL men because of a disorder had by less than 5% of the male population.
My son was never in day care, but by 4th grade he's had two AWESOME male elementary teachers.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Some children have no positive male role model. If they have a good pre-school/daycare male role model they will have that all of their lives. It doesn't matter if the child is a boy or a girl, all children need a good positive male role model.

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C..

answers from Columbia on

My daughter had several male day care workers throughout her 6 years in center daycare. I liked them and I think they added a nice flair to the dynamic in the room.

I will say that for a daughter.... once they are older than say, 7 I don't know that I would hire a teenager boy to babysit. But other than that I think if the individual passes my "gut test" I wouldn't base anything off gender.

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D.D.

answers from Denver on

How many children in this country have men in their lives? Too many children are estranged from their fathers. How many of you teachers who have been teaching for many years can say that the discipline issue in the school has become a crazy out of control issue. Rules and regulations limit teacher discipline, but lack of dads/moms in the picture cause great issues in children’s lives.
My daughters preschool was taken over by a new director. With that teachers left and the students had a hard time adjusting to the constant change. They hired a male teacher Mr. B. Those children have done a complete 360. They chase him on the playground, he reroutes the negative behavior with just his voice. Children respond very well to a positive male. One who teaches them, gives them proper guidance.
Are their creeps out there? Sure there are, but we are responsible as parents to ensure our children are aware of what is acceptable and not. What makes them comfortable, and what does not. I was abused as a child by older boy cousins, not once did I remember my parents/aunts uncles telling me what was going on was right. I always tell my kids, ask my kids that no one is suppose to do that. If they do you tell them no, stop and run away.
I still believe that good proper men are out there, and do and can make a positive influence on our children.
:) those are my thoughts.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think they can be a benefit to older children, who always seem to want to roughhouse and do really active things. My friend's son had a male teacher in the afternoon when he was 3 ish. It was during his parents' divorce, and it really seemed to please the boy that there was a man in school. Whether or not they can be nurturing - of course they can! I love watching dads and kids.

If you have concerns about him, ask about their program, their screening and their employees' qualifications. Observe him with his class. If you don't like what you see, go elsewhere.

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M.P.

answers from Green Bay on

I see the reason to question, but I have to wonder, what made that stigma in the first place? I think it is sad, to be honest, that we have to question male child care workers. I think it is so important for children to have strong male role models in their lives/childhood and to see a male figure working in a caregiving role is awesome.

I teach for a local community college in the Early Childhood department and a lot of the students go on to work in child care. I have had a couple male students. I have received mixed reviews regarding men in child care myself. I also used to teach kindergarten with a couple male kindergarten teachers and some people had "ick" feelings about that as well! They were great teachers!

There are so many children out there from single mothers who do not have a positive male role model in their lives so I think that male child care workers can help fill that void. I don't think it would make a difference to me if there was a male working in my son's center. I am very critical of centers as it is, working in the field that I do, that I would be just as critical of a female as a male.

Interesting topic! :-)

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

There are not enough male child care workers because working in child care doesn't pay enough for a man to support a family. The few I have known have been great, but are usually only doing it temporarily while they are studying to do something else. It is nice to have a male role model for the boys who are in child care. As for the age of the children, I guess it depends on the man. Some people are great with babies, while others are better at engaging older kids in play.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I personally don't care for it. I know people who have been to places that hire men but I wouldn't go there with my (boy or girl) child.

Now if it's a specialist (like the music teacher or something like that) I don't mind. But the one on one, nope.

I'm sure they are safe and you do need to go with your gut. But my gut has always told me to stay away.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I've never in my life met a man who would WANT to watch other people's children all day. So, it does weird me out a bit. BUT, so long as there aren't any complaints, bad feelings, and the same background checks...I would just deal with it. If they have the same clear background the female workers have, there really isn't a big difference. With that said, I would always make sure thorough background checks were done on every single employee...no matter the gender.

If someone like my husband or father was a worker, of course that would be great. They just wouldn't want to be, and neither would any other men I know. That's why it can seem strange to me.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I don't know, I just feel like a women overall can be a bit more nurturing and sensitive to young child's needs. I have seen and known excellent male elementary school teachers, so I'm sure there are some great male daycare workers but it does seem a little odd to me.

Honestly, my first thought about a man working in a daycare would be that he took the job because he got it, not because he wanted it. Unless I observed and was told outstanding reviews of his childcare, I would look elsewhere.

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I worked at a daycare, we had one male worker. It was great as there was someone to help out when the boys needed bathroom help, and some of the kids responded better to him than the rest of us. The only issue I ever saw was the worker was fairly young, maybe 20, and he used to play super rough with the kids outside. Like when they played soccer he would kick the ball super hard, and once he tied a jump rope to a circle sled and spun them super fast in a circle while they clung to the sled. They totally loved it and no one ever got hurt but I usually offered to stay inside and clean if he was going out with the kids. He worked with the older kids, which were 3-5 yrs old.

When my sister was little, she had a 'manny' or male nanny. He was very clearly gay and studying to be a kindergarten teacher, best nanny she ever had.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

The closest thing I have come to this.. is my family watching my 4 year old. And they do a wonderful job for my little boy. Granted they are family. But for my active boy, a male caregiver is exactly what he needs at times.

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J.H.

answers from Birmingham on

I understand both sides of the argument. Male daycare workers could be as great and wonderful as any female daycare worker. BUT, have you ever taken a good hard look at the sex offender list for your area? The ratio of men to women is not even worth comparing. I also worry about the temperament of a man compared to a women as well as the strength of men compared to a women. I happened to witness the one male daycare worker at my son's daycare be a bit rough with him one afternoon when I picked him up. I complained to he director who reviewed the tape and saw what I witnessed. He doesn't work there anymore. I know that I should not be jaded, but I am. It is due to the world that we live in. Just my two cents.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I wish there were more of them and more male teachers in elementary schools... I have daughters but always think how great for the boys when I see a male teacher/aftercare teacher. As well, my daughter did attend a bit of aftercare in K and so did her best friend and they both loved the male teacher. So did I and so did our friend's mom. He was just cool. Not sure if yo'ure worried but big difference I think between leaving alone with a male babysitter you dont know well. As for infants, I'd be very surprised so admit I'm not sure I'd be psyched but if I watched him and he seemed caring, it'd be fine.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I'm coming to this question late, but I just have to say that making a blanket statement that men shouldn't take care of babies and small children is just plain an affront to every father out there, including all of our husbands. If you can't trust men in general to take care of children, then you shouldn't allow your own husbands to take care of YOUR children.

If ever anyone calls your husband a potential pervert, maybe you'd get it.

(Not directed at you V..)

Dawn

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't see any problem with it. I think I would feel more comfortable not having a male daycare worker with infants but anything over 9 mos. would be fine with me.

My opinion has changed - for the better. Years ago, I would have thought it strange and maybe a bit creepy. Keep in mind, I'm over 50 years old and back in the day, men watching kids wasn't as usual as it is today. Today, you see commercials with the fathers and kids as opposed to 50 years ago when you NEVER saw a father really being hands-on. I think it's great and I think that for a kid who doesn't have a father in the home, it might be just what the doctor ordered!

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

My kids had male teachers in day care, I don't think any were before 3 years of age though. I had no issues with them and thought they were great, they really played a lot of games and were involved with the kids. I can't say that about all the females teachers I encountered. Of course there were many more of them so the odds aren't in their favor.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Personally, I'm wary of them. If it's middle-school or higher, no problems from me. If it's the younger elementary grades or daycare/preschool, I get suspicious. I know it's not fair as there are some great male teachers out there but daycare/preschool is more about being a care provider than a teacher and men aren't usually intuitively maternal. I haven't pulled my son from his preschool which has a couple of male providers but I do sometimes worry. I know the chances are slim and I know it's not politically correct but I don't want to take a chance with my kid, you know?

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

It depends on how they present themselves to me. It might be wrong but i hold them to a higher standart to use correct grammar and get down to eye level when talking with the kids and to be groomed well. that sort of thing.
but if they are great guys i would prob be ok, but i'll admit i would be keeping abit of a closer eye to see if he is professional.

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