Mom Seeking Advice on How to Wean 21 Month Old Son from Pacifiers

Hi V.,

Have you ever seen Supernanny? She has a great solution. She has the little one put his/her paci in a box/bag that he/she decorates and then she tells the child that the pacis are going to be takek by the paci fairy to give to the babies who are just being born or coming into the world. You could also say it is for the babies who don't have pacis and need them. Tell him his too big for a paci and try to replace it with a stuffed animal or blanket if he still wants to keep it. My son had a paci for nightime and would put it in his mouth in the morning as soon as he saw it in his bed. My son was about 2 1/2 when we took it away and he didn't cry much. Hope the above suggestion works!

My oldest was the same way...he just liked his paci, period! So, when he was about 2.5 yrs. we told him that the binky fairy needed some more binkies for the new born babies and that we should give her his. We gathered them all up in a big bowl, wrote a letter to the fairy and made a big deal of it. We asked him what he wanted as a replacement and he wanted a Thomas Train, so in the morning, the binky fairy left a note and a train and took away all the paci's. The next week was a little sad for him...he asked for it every night, but we just said the binky fairy has them and he whined a little bit and then went to sleep! It wasn't so bad. I think you just can't go back once they're gone. I hope this helps!
J.
(Mom to three boys, 5, 3.5 and 2!)

Cut the tips off his pacifiers. That way you can still give them to him when he asks, but the suction part will be gone and he will eventually loose interest in wanting them. This method worked like a charm for my daughter. She was over her desire in just a few days

I got this tip from our dentist, and was surprised at how well it actually worked. My son just turned three, is not a great sleeper and was very dependent on the pacifier for sleep so I was hesitant to give it up. My dentist had us cut the very tip of the pacifier off, enough so it kept it's shape but lost it's suction. I cut the tips in front of him becuase he's older, but you might be able to sneak it by your little one. He still had his pacifiers, so there was very little drama, but they didn't feel the same, and he slowly lost interest. The dentist said to cut a little more each week, but we didn't need to. He had a little more trouble sleeping at first, but now is totally weaned and is sleeping better than ever. It was actually a very gentle and easy process for a kid that is usually not so gentle and easy! Good luck!

Ok so I am happy to respond to this as we just took my sons binkys away from him this past Monday. He is 2 1/2 and used it at night/nap time. I was really afraid of what might happen when we took it away as it calms him and helps him fall asleep. He is hooked!!!! Also, he would wake up in them middle of the night calling out for it if he couldnt find one in his bed. We did cold turkey....but gave him a blankie to sleep with in its place. We told him he was a big boy and that he didnt need binkies anymore. We said he could now have this new special blanket to sleep with instead. The 1st day was the hardest. He asked for it many many many times and I said no, you dont need it anymore, you are a big boy. Bedtimes/naptimes havent been as bad as I expected. He does ask for it, but every day its less and less of an issue. I am truly so excited to be on day 4 with no binky!!!! Good luck!~

If you hear him sucking on it when he is asleep he probably still needs it.
When my son was ready to give his up a friend had just had a son so he gave it to the new baby and the baby traded him with a new toy he really wanted. good luck,

Only my oldest used the pacifier. He was about the same age when I took it from him. By that time he was mainly using it to sleep. We were back visiting my folks for the holidays and I told him that I forgot to pack it with us. He kept asking for it, and I told him that we would pick some up at the store. Then after a few days it was time to go home. I hid the ones at home and he just sorta forgot about it. It took about 2 weeks.

The other thing that my friends did was put one of those listerine strips on the paci. And when her child sucked on it he didn'tlike it. They told him that the paci turned bad and he never used it again.

I've had 3 kids that were very attached to binkys. I went "cold turkey" with all of them, and it worked very well. They forget so soon, that it is not as hard as you might think. Make sure you get all of them. The ones in the car, in the bed, under the bed, etc. They have binky radar and they'll find them.

my nephew was attached to 3 pacis at all times, and this was closer to 30 months. His parents noticed that he really liked a cartoon with knights - he ran around with a pot lid pretending it was a shield - and one in which people turned into things by using a magic word. So one night, while he was sleeping, they took away the pacis and brought home a play castle with some swords and such. In the morning, he was told that pacis said the magic word and turned into all these great toys. He played for a while, then spent some time trying to teach the magic word to the toys so they'd turn back. After a while, he let it go with almost no tears.

Our little girl only used her pacifier to sleep at night and during naps. Right at 23 months when she wasn't around we cut the tip off of the pacifier. She went to suck on it and handed it back to us saying it was broke! She then decided to hold it for the next 3 nights...no crying or anything, she just held it and slept holding it. It worked out great and didn't seem traumatic at all. Good luck!

Hi,

I'm the mom of three kids and my middle child was completely reliant on a pacifier...morning, noon and night! When he was almost 3 years old, we got rid of it cold turkey. There was a good day of crying and missing it but he got over it fairly quickly and all was well! I don't know if there is a magic way to do it. Good luck!

my husband cut down his son's binkie a little each day, to a point where his son could no longer hold on to the binkie. He just naturally quit needing it with this method. Give it a shot if you have multiple binkies.

cold-turkey is the way to go! my 18month old daughter was, like other kids, addicted to her paci. one day, we just told her that it was missing..no more paci, mommy can't find it. She was fine...now she's attached to her blanky...which is fine. good luck!

My son was addicted to his pacifiers too. We went on vacation with my parents just before his second birthday. When we returned home we discovered he had thrush on his tongue. It was from the pacifiers while on vacation. We took them away cold turkey. In a few days he didn't ask for them anymore. It was alot easier than we had thought it was going to be. When he asked for one we just told him that they were all dirty and needed to be washed. He'd say okay and cry a few minutes and then he was fine.

When my neighbor was weaning her daughter off of the pacifiers she had her daughter round all of them up and they packaged them up and put them in the mailbox. They mailed them to the Binky Fairy so that she could give them to the new baby boys and girls who needed the binky more than she did. That worked for her.

My girlfriend got her little girl off the pacifier in the most unusal way. Beth was just over two when she started chewing through her pacifiers. Her mom explained that they were dangerous and that they had to be thrown away. Well, it turns out that Beth keep finding new ones around the house...she hid them like a squirrel. Finally they came to the last one. Her mom told her that when she chewed through that one she would have to throw it away and there would not be one to replace it. Well, one night before bed Mom found that Beth chewed through it. She explained that this pacifier was not safe anymore and had to be thrown away. She told Beth to say good-bye and to put it into the garbage. Beth did what she was told and for a few days she would go to the garbage, look in and say "by-by paci" and that was it. I know it's not going to be that easy for every child, but I think it's a great story.

Hi, This worked really well for us: cut the tip off the rubber just enough so he doesn't have great suction. Once a week cut another 1/8 of an inch, eventually he'll just lose interest.

My kids are 14, 12, and 10. Everyone of them had to go cold turkey. We weaned them down to bedtime only but once it had to go - it had to go. I can tell you that none of them were traumatized, a little sad at the time but they are all well adjusted happy kids ;) The thought of this is probably affecting you more than it will affect him - I know this from experience! It is a step towards them growing out of babyhood and for mommies that is an adjustment that we have to go through. You'll do fine and so will he just give him a few days.

Gather them all up and chuck them in the garbage outside. When he throws a fit or wants it, give him a more acceptable lovey such as a stuffed animal or a blanket. It's hard but at this age your husband is right... Trust me, your son won't be traumatized. It will probably last at least a few days to a couple of weeks for your son to get used to not having the pacifiers. Just give him extra love and support and always keep the new lovey handy. Good luck!

Hi V.,

this might or might not work, I was a preschool teacher and winged a 2 year old off her binky. she was like your son only when she didn't feel well or nap time did she take it.

what I did was I put the pacifier on a high shelf where she couldn't see it. by the time nap time came she forgot about it a few times she would ask for it but, i would either tell her you don't need it or I couldn't find it. eventually she slept without it.

I told her mom how I did it so she could do it at home.

hope this will work for you

Tonya

Great question V.!
I too am thinking about how to wean my 21 month old daughter from the binky. She only uses it at nap and bedtime, but her little sister has them all the time so not sure how it's going to work yet. You already got some great advice and I sincerely hope it works out for you. What I have heard works is giving them to new babies because "big kids" don't need them anymore and the babies do.
Good luck!
J.

Gradually is fine and in fact, a perfect way to take pacifiers away. First, they get them only at bedtime or naptime so no chewing on it during the day or in public. You are already there so bravo!

Then you move on to only bedtime and then you start cutting it off, piece by piece and then it is gone. Literally cut it up slowly and one day it is gone. When my boys were about this same age, they would suck on it for maybe 5 minutes at bedtime and then spit it out.

You have no problem and you are doing fine -

My oldest was a pacifier junky. I think he was around 2 or 2 1/2 when we said they had to stay in his bed. If he wanted it he had to be in his bed. they then became his responsiblity and he was in charge of them. Then one day he hid his last one and couldn't remember where. So we told him it was lost and he didn't have any more. We had a couple of rough nights but by night 3 he was over it and didn't need it anymore. I found it a week or so later and put it away so he wouldn't find it and regress.

Dear V.,
I weaned both my kids successfully from the pacifier with this technique. They were more three years old than two, though. But at that age (2 years) I started becoming more strict about them only being allowed to use it in bed and during nap time. So that's how it goes: I told them that the pacifier fairy will come and exchange their pacifier for something else. A big toy, something they really would like to have. (My son who is 12 now got a Brio train train station). I had them take the lead. When they were ready, they would wrap the pacifier in gift paper and leave it out in the yard. A little while later the pacifier fairy had the pacifier transformed into the object they had wished for. Afterwards the pacifier wasn't here anymore. The fairy cannot transform it back. I let my kids take the lead and had them tell me when they were ready. I think at least one of them wrapped the pacifier, decided not to be able to part with it, and take it back. But one week later they were ready to give it up. Just an idea. Good luck.

I started by only allowing my son to use it for sleeping. After a few months of that, I got rid of all but one, cut a tiny piece of the tip off, and put it in the dishwasher. When it was "washed", he found that the dishwasher had "broken" it. He used it about 3 more times then gave it up. My co-worker used it on his 2 girls and suggested it to me.

J.

If you don't want to go cold turkey, which won't traumatize him - he is only 2, try going to just in bed whether it is nap or nightime. Then eliminate nap and pick a day to get rid of night. Leave all the pacifiers for the pacifier fairy and have the fairy leave a small reward behind. My oldest gave them up when she went into a big girl bed. One of my sons quit when the last pacifier was chewed through. No more. Good luck.

I am a mother of 4 ages 14, 10, 7 and 4.

hi, friend of mine told her son the story that when he turned 3 on his birthday he was going to give all his pacifiers to all the little babies that still needed them. worked great for them. cold turkey too. she said he sleeps much better too since he doesn't wake in the night when he loses it in his sleep.

I heard a great idea once in regards to this. Take your son to the toy store to pickout something he really wants. Don't buy it then. Play it up about how great it would be to have that toy. Then call the store to arrange an exchange. He gives them his pacifiers in exchange for the toy. Then it is cold-turkey and they're gone and you're not the bad guy. Hope this idea helps you! Good luck!

Hi V.,

Our daughter too loved pacifiers and the way we got her to stop using them was by taking her to the dentist. The dentist told her they would make her teeth crooked and that she needed to stop using them. He asked her to promise him that she would give them up and told her she was a big girl now. It really helped having the dentist tell her instead of us and every time she would ask for one we would use the dentist experience as the reason for not having one. "Remember what the dentist said"? I took her to get a special present to replace her pacifiers and praised her on being such a big girl. A couple of weeks later they were completely forgotten. Hope this helps.

Just get him to give it up cold turkey, you might have a couple of days where it is a little hard but I personally think it is harder for us then them. I decided the same thing that at 2 my son would give it up, he would ask for it alot and I would give in just so that he would be quiet, then we went to a mall and he decided to throw it down the escalator and I didn't go and get it. Every time he asked for it I told him that he had thrown it away and there were no more...it worked.

We used the Supernanny's idea to get the pacifiers away from our two kids, who were 18 months and 3 years old at the time. We gathered all the pacifiers and put them in a bag and tied it in the tree in the backyard. Then, after naptime, the pacifiers were gone, and the bag was full of toys! My 3-year-old was just fine, but my 18-month-old kept asking for a pacifier at bedtime for a week. Still, it was a success. I wish we had done it sooner. Also, we tried to gradually reduce pacifier usage to only at bedtime, and only if they asked for it. Good luck!

If they aren't in the house, car, bag, corner of the sofa, etc. he can't use them. You are in control of the pacifier. Toss them out.

OR have a Pacifier Good-bye ceremony and growing up ceremony. Give him a badge of honor. Really play it up.

Personally, I like the toss the pacifiers out and don't look back.

Stephanie

Cold turkey is the only way to go. I took all the Paci's and put them in a cute bag and told my son we were sending them to the Paci fairy who was going to deliver them to babies who needed them. I put them in the car and he never saw them again. He cried the first night for about 20 minutes and that was the end of it. I was told by my pedi that the longer you wait the harder it is. I woudl do it tommorrow. Your kid wont be traumatized, it's only a paci. good luck

Your 21-month-old son is a lot more resilient than you give him credit for. However, if you treat him as a hyper-sensitive person who can't deal with change, guess how he'll grow up? I have seen many children who were pacifier users and, eventually, it comes down to telling the child that the pacifier is going away and then throwing away all pacifiers and not buying any more. I have also noticed that those children who have used pacifiers adjust almost immediately to the change, especially when the parents take the time to explain the change to the child. This is your opportunity to start treating your son like a person capable of dealing with change. Believe in him and he'll do just fine.

I started to wean by 16 mo old son from his binky because he had to be free of it to move to the next level of daycare at his school. We went cold turkey and it worked. We had to put up with more crying and fussing for a week or so. It wasn't as restful a week as usual because he had a harder time going to sleep without it and would wake up in the night wanting it, but after that it was fine. It's amazing how well and how quickly children adapt - especially when there is no other choice. It's just gone. He never switched over to sucking his thumb either, thank goodness. He is 23 mo. old and hasn't even thought about it since that week. It is a little tough, but not traumatic. It's like when a toy breaks and they have to give it up - they get over it. If it were traumatic, they wouldn't get over it so fast.

Hi V.,
I agree with your husband. I think 'cold turkey' is the best way to go. Since he isn't using it 'all day' then the next step would be taking it away completely. You could use it only at night for a short while to ease into it if you think that's better. I've had some friends that dealt with this, and it seemed to go so much better when they went 'cold turkey'. You can tell him that he is giving them to the 'new babies' (make up a place) and wrap them up together as a present. Or just throw them all in the trash at once together. Talk about how exciting it is that he is a big boy now and doesn't need them anymore. My son had a blanket he shoved in his mouth and I was in no hurry to take it away. He was only using it at nap time and at night. He just turned four, but a couple of months ago we took him for his first dentist appt. The dentist asked if he sucked his thumb. It turned out the blanket in his mouth while sleeping was affecting his teeth (alignment). Anyways, the blanket went away that same day. He asked about it for a couple of days, but got over it pretty quickly. Hope that helps! Take care.

I see you've gotten a lot of responses but I wanted to put in my 2 cents. I also asked for advice on weening and it is working so far! My daughter is now 27 months old and had only been using her binky at nap and bed times. We were also recommended to cut the tip off and I wanted to take it slow so I gradually started cutting the tips off. I presented it to her at nap time just in case it was a disaster. I waited until I put her in her bed and put it in her mouth and said Night Night and walked out. As I was walking out she pulled it out and just looked at it. Never saying anything though. That was about 3 weeks ago and the tips are completely gone now. I definitely could have sped up the process but I wasn't sure of her reaction and I knew I couldn't go back or give her a new one. So, yesterday's nap I just kind of "forgot" to give it to her and told her the "baby's" had it. She was fine and slept normally. Then last night she didn't even ask for it and slept the whole night through!! =)
Good luck! I don't think it's as h*** o* them as we think it's going to be sometimes.

Try cutting the tip off the pacifier- it worked well for us! Good luck- Peggy

I feel your pain. It is hard as a mom to take away something you view your child loves and wants. 3 out of 4 of my children have had strong pacifier attachments. I have had a strong pacifier attachment. I love being able to give them something quickly they love. But, I have learned through each of my children...that it isn't as hard as it seems. My children learned how to comfort themselves by the pacie, and when the pacie was taken...after a VERY short period they learned how to self soothe in different ways. For me, weaning went in stages. Like, only at bedtime or whatever. But all in all....cold turkey was it. Getting rid of all of them, and having a couple a rough adjustment days...or a week. Then it is over. Like really done. And you are amazed. I remember one of my children getting hurt a week later and the pull to give the pacie back was so strong. So, I suggest get rid of all the pacies....so in the moment of panic you don't give in. Because you will have to do it all again. And as they get older, the attachment usually gets stronger....and they begin to really talk and have a new relationship with the pacifier. For me, at that age...I wanted a healthier way to handle emotions. Also, side note...this is how I could tell (or justify) keeping the pacie longer, like they really needed it. If I started not having the pacie so readily available, and then started to suck on their fingers/thumb...I would give it back. I didn't want to take away one thing, for another habit. I had a 13 niece who sucked her thumb....and I was scared to have to address a child having an addiction to soomething I couldn't control. I have no idea if this makes sense. Anyways, good luck............and remember..........YOU ARE A GOOD MOM.... even through taking away something that your child loves. His reaction will be normal..and then it really will be done. It doesn't last forever, it doesn't even last for weeks. Just days. It may surprise you how much easier it is...and in the in between time, he can go to you to me comforted. Enjoy it, the time flies. My oldest is 11 and I wish I could re-enter a pacie now. :o)

We went cold turkey! My daughter loved her binky and used it fall asleep and when she was upset. We went the doctor - she happened to have a cold sore at the time - and the good doctor told Catherine that she had to stop using the binky because it was causing the sores to spread. So, that was it. Even though Cate was sick and needy, I just held her and listened to the crying. She stopped asking for it in three days! Good luck

Consider yourself lucky - I have 2 4-year olds who never got attached to pacifiers, but have always been thumb-suckers. They stil won't quit, after reading a book about it (geared for their age) and talking about it in many different ways, along with constant reminders. I can't cut their thumbs off - at least you can physcially remove pacifiers!
My advice is: since you've set a date (arbitrary though it may be) for when he should stop, just talk to him about that - tell him that "2 year olds don't use pacifiers - they're only for babies" (or something like that. Remind him of the deadline frequently "when you're 2, no more passy..." Then let him know that when he's 2, instead he'll get something special that big boys who don't use pacifiers get (whatever it is that he likes). Then, just follow through - once he's 2, the pacifiers go away.
Good luck!

Hi V.,

My daughter was a pacifier lover too. She didn't take it during the day, but just needed it at night to help her get to sleep and for comfort. I don't think "cold turkey" is necessarily the best approach as it causes some anxiety and trauma. We talked about the pacifier fairy taking it away for big kids that don't need it anymore. But what really seemed to work was I would cut a tiny bit of the rubber off and let her suck on it like that for a couple of days and gradually would keep cutting off tiny pieces bit by bit until finally it wasn't "fun" to suck anymore. She finally decided that she didn't need it anymore and gave it back to me and we threw it out together. Of course we had a celebration dance and told her what a big girl she was, etc.

For what it's worth, I hope it helps.

L.

we had the binky fairy come and she took all the pacifiers from the house and left a toy. This way it wasn't our fault that the pacifiers were gone and he got rewarded for giving them up. I think he only asked for one once after that. Now I have a 2 year old that sucks his thumb and I can't have the thumb fairy come so i am kind of stuck.

I'm with Noelle on this one! I had a binkie addict daughter who was 2 years old - and our dentist told us we had to stop using the binky immediately because her teeth were becoming deformed. So we were all in a panic. We cut off the tips of all her binkies, and for about a day she'd stick them in her mouth and then kind of take them out and look at them and say, "It's broken!" She'd go to the binkie drawer (yes, we had a drawer full of them - like I said, binkie addict!) and get another one and repeat the process. After a day, she stopped asking for them entirely. No tears, no trauma. It was way easier than I expected. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my daughter a few months back. I took the advice of another mom on this website. I cut the tips on the pacifiers and gave them to her and she would tell me, mommy broken and I would act as if she broke them. After about 3 days she was over it. She carried the around the first few days after I cut them but once she figured out that she couldn't put it in her mouth anymore she stopped wanting them.

I had the same problem with my boys, I loved having the pacifier to calm and help them sleep, but at some point, you have to say goodbye. (I was more attached to the comfort it brought him than he was)!

Both my husband and would tell him that he was a big boy now and big boys don't use pacifiers anymore. Usually it was a pleasant conversation without a lot of pressure. WIth that new information, he got to do some big boy things that he was never allowed to do before, you can figure this out, something like vacuming up the window seals. (Weird, but he loved to vacume and the window seals seemed like a good place to let him start) I'm sure your guy wants to do something that you haven't allowed him the opportunity before. Anyway after that "buy in" we then suggested that the next time the garbage man comes, your big boy can put the pacifier in the trash and watch it go. He was agreeable, and we went through the process. It was all in the name of being a big boy. Well, at bedtime he had changed his mind, but we told him that the garbage man had taken them to the dump, and he just let it go. There were a few tears, mostly mine, but you will all reaize the big step he just took. Next, potty training!

If you can make it his idea, have him take on some bigger responsibilities that he hasn't done before and then let him watch the follow through, that seemed to be the trick for us.

Hi V.,
My 3 older boys all loved their pacifiers (which I was so grateful for). We began to wean them all around 19 & 20 months. Our goal was to have them weaned by 2 years as well. We did a gradual weaning. We started off by only allowing them to have it in their beds (so only for nap time and bed time). Then after about a month of that, we said good-bye to the morning nap with the pacifier and after a couple of weeks, then we took it away from the afternoon nap and last of all, we took it away from the night time. The night was the hardest. But they were starting to get old enough that we talked about it and that they were getting to be big boys and big boys don't need pacifiers, etc. I have heard that snipping the end off of a pacifier makes it so that it doesn't suck right any more and most kids will give it up when it "doesn't work right" anymore. I never tried it, but heard it works good. I may try it with my 4th, but he is still young (8 months). I hope your son makes the adjustment well.
Kara

My kids were both addicted to the pacifier. When we decided to be done with it, we just cut off the tip and made sure there was only one available, so there was no backup. When the tip is cut, it doesn't provide suction any more. My kids would look at it and declare it broken. After a few days they decided on their own that they didn't want it anymore. It was very low stress for all of us. (I should add, that with my daughter we had to cut the tip a few times to make it shorter and shorter. She was a little more addicted than my son.) Good luck!

Interesting variety of advice so far! For my two cents, we told our oldest daughter that her pacifier was going to live in her bed from now on (she was about 15 months at the time). If she wanted it, she'd have to go sit in her crib. She figured out pretty quickly that her bed was really boring. It didn't take long for her to only use it to fall asleep. After that, we always 'forgot' to bring it along if we were going to be gone for the day and she always napped fine without it at other's homes. When I pointed this out to her, she realized that she didn't really need it anymore.
The tricky one was my younger daughter. How do you tell a kid that their thumb has to live in their bed?
Good luck with it all!

I agree w/you....go it slow. My older son (now 7.5 yo) was a big binky boy & about 2.5 y we started the weaning process. He was only allowed to have it at nap & bed times & occassionally in the car. We set the date for them to be gone by his 3rd b-day so that he would have a better cognitive understanding of it all. Starting at 6 months before, we reminded him they'd be gone on his 3rd b-day & when that day arrived along w/his 3y check up, we bagged them up to give to our ped. who could then pass them onto babies who needed them. For us, it meant no more naps but since he was 3, that was OK. He had no problems going to sleep at night & never once asked for it or where it was. Think cuz he understood that they were going & that we gave him 6 months to ease into it. He also had a stuffed dog he loved (& still does) so that helped ease the process which I think will be the case for your son since he has Grover. So, I suggest you ease him into & set a target date. Mark it on the calender & when that day arrives, have a good-by binky party. Good luck & hope this helps!

HI V.
I have 2 children, a son,4, and a daughter,2. I know how how you feel. I breast and bottle fed my son and getting him off the bottle was soooo hard. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and he cried and cried for it.I felt so bad. But, I have to tell you your husband is right. You have to just stop giving it to him. It's going to take about 3 days to get over the hard part but you have to stay strong. Plan on being up ant night and everything.He will be okay and he will get over it. It sounds cruel but it is the best thing for him. Try explaining it to him before you do it and give him rewards when he achieves it. You know, I think it's harder for us than it is for them. He will be fine I promise you . Just get through the first day and then don't turn back. Good Luck to you

Hi V.,
I would start by only letting him have it when he is in bed. So when he get's up in the morning have him put it up, somewhere he can't reach it :) If he needs comforting during the day try to help him think of other things to comfort him, like you maybe or just talking about what it wrong. Then when you get to the "age" where you want to get rid of the pacifier talk to him about it. Let him be the one that get's rid of it. With my daughter it was when we moved her to her "big girl" room and bed. We talked about how big girls don't use pacifiers and then she said ok and walked over to the trash and pitched it. Don't get me wrong I had a spare one hidden but we did not have to get it. The first couple of night it took a little longer for her to fall asleep but she was fine.

This was something I was really worried about too. My son seemed to be growing more and more attached to his binky, so we went cold turkey when he was 18 months. We had plans to go away for a long weekend with family and I knew he would be distracted by the new atmosphere and fun cousins. On the way he started asking for it . So I told him we had left it at home. And every time he asked for it I would do the same. He had always gone to sleep with so that was a bit challenging. But he really did ask for it very little. And believe me I am a typical first time mom. Just in case I did bring one with us but it never came to that. When we got home he asked and looked for it but I told him they wer all gone. It was much easier than I anticipated,so dont worry. Good luck, D.

Oh and we did the same thing to get him to stop wanting a bottle.

Hi V.,

My little girl was TOTALLY hooked on her paci. Sometimes she would have two in her mouth just because she could. We had already talked with our pediatrician about it, but she said she would only take exception to it if she was older, like 3 or 4. We decided that at 2 she would no longer have it. So we set a date for 1 month after she turned 2. Like your husband wants, we went "cold turkey". Maya did very well. The first night she didn't ask for it, but the second night she did. She knew that we had them all over the place (my purse, the freezer, frig, etc) When I told her we didn't have anymore, she went to the frig. She had seen one earlier in the day. As I lifted her up to "prove" it wasn't there, she got this blank look on her face. It was priceless, but it did break my heart for her. She didn't cry, but went on to bed without it. The third night she didn't mention it. I thought we would have had a harder time with it because her paci was her best friend. Before we took it from her, we started telling her what a big girl she was and that big girls don't use pacifiers anymore. She LOVED being called a big girl. We even cut some of them, but that didn't matter to her, she sucked on even the cut ones. But we also started using them only when she was going to sleep or not feeling well. You will be surprised that going "cold turkey" is not as hard as you imagine. At least it wasn't for us.

Good luck.

I just took ours away from our son when he was six months old. However, I have a friend who waited until her daughter was nearly two and then she sliced the paci with a razor and told her daughter it was broken. Her daughter didn't want to suck on a sliced pacifier, so she gave it up right away! Good luck!

Parents have more of a hard time weaning themselves from the "convenience" of the pacifier. At 21 months, encourage their confidence, self esteem, self reliance, and independence by saying that they don't need it anymore and throw it away completely. Children are CONCRETE and have no ability to see abstractly. Doing the slowly weaning and "you can have your pacifier this time, but not that time, or for this amount of time at night, but decreasing time each night" etc..etc.. means nothing to them. They don't get the conditions at all. It must be cold turkey. They are concrete black/white thinkers. It will be a 2-3 day HELL for you both and they will scream, cry, attack, beg, bite, and freak out. But your jobs as parents is to completely remain calm, pleasant, and loving while they go through the withdrawal tantrums. If you start showing worry or yelling at them to stop or pretty much showing any emotions at all, it will tell them that "YES, this no pacifier thing IS something to worry about and get stressed about". If you remain calm and reassuring, "HOney, it's okay, your a big boy now and don't need it" leave it at that and just remain sitting near them while they throw a tantrum, and eventually, they'll get tired of crying, they'll realize that their crying IS NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU RUN OUT AND GET THEIR PACIFIER BACK, and they'll fall asleep due to exhaustion. The next day or time that they want their pacifier, they will tantrum again, then you do the same thing, and they will cut their tantrum in half because they will realize that "HEY, I cried like crazy last time and they didn't give my pacifier back" and will get tired of crying quickly and end it. Usually by the 3rd "tantrum" about the pacifier, they give up and start to look for other "survival" methods (because humans are essentially animals needing survival) and that's when you'll need to be there to offer suggestions like, reading a book before bed, or holding time whre you hug and cuddle in bed before going to sleep, or any kind of routine or soothing activity that will serve as a replacement. But the replacement will be self reliant on self or parent, and also celebrate his newfound confidence and independence and "growing up" ness!
Good luck....cold turkey is the only way, I swear by it.

Lots of good advice already, so I thought I'd share the funniest idea I have heard.

One of my friends with older children says she threw all but one pacifier away when her son was around two years old. She nailed the last pacifier to the wall, at the right level for her son to suck on standing up, and told him that he could suck on his pacifier whenever he wants, but the one stuck on the wall was the only one he could have. She said he only tried it once, but was too bored by having to stand at the wall to try it again.

Don't know yet what I'll do with my son, but every time I think of that story, I giggle a little, especially since I went to school with the son in the story!