Mommy and a College Student

Updated on June 06, 2008
J.B. asks from Palm Bay, FL
16 answers

I am currently a college student that just started the first class towards my nursing degree. I have been in school since August but they were just general education courses that did not require a whole lot of studying at home (plus I only went 2 days a week). My son is 2 1/2 and does not like me doing my studies. I was wondering if there are any moms that have gone to school and had a similar problem. Last semester My son would try to rip pages out of my text book and he would take my notebooks (even if I wasn't studying). I try to do most of my studying after bedtime b/c i can have time with Max and then study with no interruptions (or minimal at best). But now my classes are way more intense and require a little more time and I don't know how to get past this obstacle. I usually atempt it when he is occupied with books or cars or watching a movie but it doesn't seem to work. By the time I get the book out he is protesting. Any advice would be helpful. thanks

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So What Happened?

It has been a little while for me to respond but I wanted to let you all know that I did try out the advice. My son likes to come up to the table and do homework with me. We have a notebook for him and a pencil bag so that he can keep supplies in it. now that he has been more involved in it he doesn't seem to bother with my work. He isn't even with me 100% of the time anymore. i guess he figured that he has better things to do. But when he does want to be there, there is a special place for him to be just like mommy. Thank you all so much for the advice I really appreciate it and i am thankful for all of the kind words an support. Thank you again!! J.

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A.G.

answers from Mayaguez on

Maybe you could buy Max his own notebooks and other school supplies so he can also study. Then when he gets tired you can send him with a hug to see what his uncles and grandparents are doing!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Miami on

Try getting him his own set of "study materials" - books about going to the Dr., notebooks, crayons to draw in them with. And tell him it's study time and have him sit with you and read his books and write in his notebooks as you do. They love imitation, so maybe having his own set of stuff and having "study time" with you, he will think he is imitating you and won't feel so excluded.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.W.

answers from Miami on

Hi J.,

I went through the same thing getting my Master's degree. I used to have my husband take care of my son while I was in our office studying but there would always be some catastrophe down there and I couldn't get anything done. Can you stay at school after your classes for an hour or two in the library? That would probably help out a lot. You would get your stuff done without interuption and get to focus on your son without the homework in the way when you get home.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.D.

answers from Boca Raton on

Why don't you have Max join you by signing him up for truck driver school or alphabet school or coloring school or something else age appropriate and read him his "lessons" every day and give him homework and a report card, so he will understand the process? After he finishes each class (a week long or a month long), then issue him a report card with a grade on it. Maybe his stuffed animals can be in his class. If he gets a good report card then you can take him to the bookstore and buy him a book on the subject at the end of the course.

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C.B.

answers from Miami on

I am in your exact situation I am a single mother of a 2 1/2 year and am going to school for my accounting degree. Yes it gets very tough but what I usually do is bring my books to bath time, study after he's asleep and try to get up before him. Needless to say I drink tons of coffee to achieve this. Sometimes i even let him color at the table next to me while I study so then he kind of thinks he is like mommy. And they seem to only bother you when you are really trying to study for that really important test. You don't have your brothers or parents to entertain him while you try to study a little bit? Does he go to day care at all so then you could get some study time in during those hours? Given that you are going through the same things as me if you have any questions I have plenty of answers

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K.P.

answers from Melbourne on

I had my son in between my freshman and sophmore year of college. It's funny because quitting school was never an option. I thank my family for love and inspiration to keep going. Guess they Raised me right.
Ok are u working at all? Is your son in daycare or do u have a reliable caretaker while you're in class? What worked for me was to take almost all my classes on the same day (like 4+ hours a day, 2 or 3 days a week). Then my time after classes and before I picked up my son I'd study and complete assignments. My days off I'd work part time and/or study more. My son went to daycare 5 days/week. But bc of my flexible schedule he wasn't always there all day every day. Sometimes he'd go in at 9 or 10.
Look into your local subsidized daycare program. They might provide it bc you're in school or you may have to work, usually a minimum of 20 hours.
Later when I was almost finished I tried to do online classes so I could work more. I figured I'd study after he went to sleep. HA! My son had a radar. If I was doing h.w. he'd wake up and NEVER go back to sleep. Any excuse he could find. He was around 2-3 yrs then. "Mommy what is this?" he'd ask at 1:00am bc he woke up and found me at the computer studying. "Noah it's a TABLE!! You know what it is, now go back to bed!" HA!! Torutre! But needless to say I finished in 4 years and had better grades than most of my friends who weren't single parents. :-)
Nursing is a great career path. I know it's tough too! GOOD LUCK YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

~K.
PS- u ever need anything feel free to message me. Myself and my college roommate both went through raising kids while in college. I graduated in Legal Studies. She did ENGINEERING!! We are my heros, lol!

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M.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, J. Congrats! for going to school with a toddler at hand, I've been trying to do the same and have not been able to do so and know Iam on my 3rd child, so good for you, get an education while is just one you have to look after. Well I have not read the other responds but maybe after you finish your classes you can stay in the library to get study time. Or either wake up early before your little one wakes up. THis is how I get some of me time and other things done early in the morning. Lots of patience and creativity, children at this time want attention and this attention span is short.wish you the Best.
M..

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B.G.

answers from Miami on

Hi J., I am in the same situation, I am going to school for my accounting degree and it can be hard to make time to study. What has helped me is that I put my daughter in school as soon as she turned 3, that gave me time in the morning or during the day to study. Maybe you can put your son in school for three hours a day and study during that time, or have someone watch him and go study at the library for a few hours. These are the only options I have because if I try studying at home with my daughter there, I find myself reading the same paragraph about 10 times because I cannot concentrate :/

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M.B.

answers from Miami on

Hi J.!
I can SO relate to your situation ;)
My son is 28 months old and my daughter will be one in a couple of weeks AND I'm currently taking 9 graduate level credits this Summer.... needless to say I feel your pain!!!

My suggestion, besides the obvious, do it while he sleeps-- is to attempt to either but him in preschool part time, or find a sitter a few hours a week??!!!???

You NEED "you time"... this nursing program is obviously important to you, therfore it is important for him!
Trust me, if you ask for help you will get it!

My son is also 2 ~~~ almost 2 1/2... if you live in my area perhaps we can get together and eventually arange play dates for the boys??!!??

Message me and we can chat if you would like :)

Good Luck!

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A.L.

answers from Melbourne on

Hi, Jess.It's me, A.-lol. I had the same type of issue and I woould suggest getting up an hour earlier than him to study/work, as well as after bedtime. Also, if your parents are willing to watch him, work out a set schedule and go to the library where you can work uninterupted. Is he still attending daycare? You may want to plan to only work during that time, or if he isn't, enroll him in part time, just a couple hours or days a week.

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P.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

Would your brothers or parents be able to spend some time with him while you study? If not, maybe you could find a fellow student that is in a less intense stage of study right now to help you, either for pay or for an exchange of services that works for you. Hope this helps.

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M.B.

answers from Melbourne on

J.,

I also put myself through my AA and my Bachelor's in Nursing while being a single mother with a toddler. It wasn't easy, but family and friends help. Nursing school is hard enough as it is. I used alot of note cards and would give my son his own flash cards. I did the study after bedtime thing and when able had my mother take him for an hour or two at a time. It sounds like you have good support from you family, but also see if there are any other students in your class in similar situations and you can trade off babysitting or make study/play dates. It does get easier and in the end it was absolutely worth it. Good luck.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

You say you are living in a full house. Can't your family help you out with occupying your little one for the time you need to study?

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L.L.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I recently started grad school and I have a similar issue with my 21 month old. The bottom line is I can only do my homework when she is sleeping or if daddy takes her out of the house. There is no way I can get my work done otherwise because she wants all my attention.

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M.M.

answers from Miami on

Check with your campus if there is a day care. I placed my 2 year old daughter in day care (part time) while I was pursuing my degree, right there at my campus. You may also be entitled to free or reduced fee day care if you apply for a scholarship. Most day cares help you financially. It is never easy to attend school while you are a mom. I continued with my masters when my daughter was 9 and she was always complaining that I was always doing homework (including weekends). It is difficult to do it when you are a mom, it doesnt matter the age. Best of luck!

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