Moving Baby in Own Room

Updated on March 24, 2009
A.M. asks from Springfield, MO
26 answers

I am sure this question has been asked before, but I wanted some fresh input. I have a 3 month old little boy who is starting to sleep a little longer for us. He is only sleeping about 4 hours (sometimes 3 1/2) then waking to eat. Last night he slept about 6 1/2 hours! We were so happy. He is sleeping in his pack n play in our room right now. I wanted to know from other moms when they moved their babies into their own rooms. Also when was the average time that your babies starting sleeping longer periods through the night? Iam hoping this 6 hour thing keeps up, but it may have been a fluke! We will see. My husband I and I are pretty exhausted from doing the 1 am and 5am thing, b/c we both work full time. He was 4 weeks early as well, so he might be a little behind too! I have read Babywise, and don't think I could let him cry for as long as it recomeends. I don't have it in me. (I am sure its fine, but I am a softie) I welcome other moms input!
Thanks

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi A.!

The only advice I can give is, every baby is different. My daughter had no problems at all moving to her own room at like 4 months. My son is 6 months now and wont have anything to do with sleeping in his room. Even when hes asleep and I put him in there he just knows. It has to be in the pack n play in my room. And one time he wouldnt go to sleep unless he could see me laying in there too! Weird!
But I will tell you, I have noticed with both of them, once I stopped breastfeeding and switched them to formula, thats when they started sleeping through the night. I dont recommend stopping breastfeeding to get them to sleep, not that would would. But breastfed babies digest breastmilk way faster than formula and need to eat more.
But I have read that the "cry it out" method is not designed for babies under 6 months old. They dont know how to manipulate you before then, so chances are if they are crying they need something. Just my opinion. Hes probably hungry and wants to eat, and he still may be trying to catch up. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I have three children and all were in their own rooms/beds by 2 months. Once I moved them there it seemed that they (and me) slept for longer periods of time. I think when they are in your room sometimes they only half wake up but in waking just a little the wake us mommies and daddies up too! Once I moved my children I no longer heard those little noises that would wake me every so many hours and they started sleeping much longer. I bet your son is on his way to sleeping for longer stretches. Mine began it around 6 weeks old or so, so I am sure he is well on his way! The key is to make sure he puts himself to sleep or in the middle of the night he might wake up but be unable to do that because he doesn't know how to self sooth. I always had to wake my babies before laying them down just so they would learn that. And honestly my friends were jealous b/c my babies were sleepers. I used to tease my husband because my daughters rarely saw him their first year of life. They would be sleeping when he left for work, sleeping when he came home for lunch and already in bed again when he'd come home at night! Good luck and I will be sending long sleep thoughts your way!

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

First of all, congratulations on your precious little boy!!
Second...I am sure you know that all babies run on their own "timetable" and your little one is probably a bit "behind" just because he was 4 weeks premature.
That being said...I think anytime you want to move him into his own room is fine. I started out with my first one in a car bed ( it was long before the days of a Pack and Play!!),right next to my bed. The reason was that I had always been such a sound sleeper that I didn't think I would HEAR her from her own room!!! Well, Mother Nature took care of the sound sleeping part!!! I woke up everytime she moved a hand on the sheet, or sighed in her sleep!!! It didn't take me long to introduce her to her crib!!!
So do what feels "right" to you...trust your instincts. If you want to set up a nursery monitor for your own peace of mind when you do move him...do it. And I agree with the idea of not allowing a baby under the age of 6 months to "cry it out". I think they need to learn that Momma and Daddy are always there to comfort them, that the world is a safe place and they are loved. Are you using a bottle at all?? Ask the Doctor if it might help him to sleep better at night if you added a little rice cereal ( I think that is what they start out with, it has been too long!!!) to his night time bottle.
Good luck...and remember...this stage will pass soon...then there will be a whole NEW set of issues to deal with!! lol
R. Ann

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

With our first one, it was only a few days after she came home that I moved her to her own room. I couldn't sleep with her so close because every time she moved, she would wake me up. She didn't actually sleep through the night for a long time but she never did like to sleep in general. She was always too curious and busy to sleep. The second one we kept in our room in a cradle until she moved into the crib, probably somewhere between 4-5 months. That was partly because she would be sharing a room with her sister and we didn't want the baby waking up the toddler in the middle of the night. She slept much better but probably still didn't sleep though the night until she was more like 5-6 months. I could never do the cry it out thing either.

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,
LOL, I remember felling like my baby would be a year before I would be able to do it but every day my husband would ask "when can we move him into his room"...Anyway to make a long story short, I stared reading old post on Mamasorce and found everyone saying how much better their babies sleep in a crib vs. a P&Play. I went down to my hub that night and said he is ready!!! My hub about fell out of his chair, our baby was 6wks and from what I read and exerienced we all slept better! We just kept the monitor close by our side and I had a nice big comfy chair in his room for night feedings. Then later on, around 6mths the doc recommended ever 2 nights lessen his night time feedings by an ounce until there is nothing... OMG, I though my child will freak but by the time we lessend to about 3oz- he didn't even bother to wake up anymore! Lucky for us, it worked out so great! We will see w/ the 2nd!
Hope that helps!
Remember if you have any questions you want answers to now, you can always go to the home page and search old post. I did that a lot that first year! : )
Take care!

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A.D.

answers from Kansas City on

A.,
Congrats on your little boy! You've made it thru the hard part! We moved our daughter into her own room around 3 months (it's when I was about to go back to work PT). We both slept better once she was in her room...not waking eachother up with coughs or movements. Also, it was around 3 months when she started sleeping 6+ hours at a time on a more regular basis (she'd do well for a while, then a milestone would hit and she'd be up a few times, but then would settle back into a good sleep pattern)...so it sounds like your little one is right on track. Like you, I could not listen to my baby cry when I knew she needed me...
At that age, they DO NOT know how to manipulate or coerce you...they are simply telling you that they want or need something...and that something might just be your presence.
Now that my daughter is a toddler (21 months), it can be a different story. And don't let anyone tell you that a baby that doesn't "cry it out" will never learn to self soothe...that's ridiculous. My daughter is a great sleeper, usually 12+ hours at night and a good nap each day, and is a happy child who knows that her mom and dad will always respond when she needs them...
Follow your heart and your instincts! Different things work for different families. You will likely be doing the right thing for your family!
P.S. It REALLY DOES go too fast...so cherish these days...even the 3am cuddles and feedings...I heard it a hundred times, but never quite knew how true it was until I watched my baby grow into a toddler overnight!

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C.C.

answers from St. Louis on

All four of mine came home to their own room, from the hospital. So three months is certainly not too early. I didn't want to have 2 transitions... Transitioning from the hospital to home, and then from my room to theirs. You'll be surprised how much you will still hear them. Many moms keep them in their room with them, fearing that they won't hear them if they cry. Well, you'll hear them! haha! I think moms have a built in sonar for their baby's cry. But you probably won't hear the grunts and groans and whimpering that is them gradually waking up... that you probably were awake through with them in your room, thinking,"will he go back to sleep?" I didn't even use a baby monitor, but every 2 hours.. my little alarm clock in the other room, would wake me up for a feeding. It gradually got longer between those wakings and around 5 months.. viola!! Through the night! Good luck! Haveing kids is the best job in the world!

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A.W.

answers from Springfield on

Hi A.! I am a 32 year old mom to 4 of my own children (and 1 step-son). When my 4 were infants, they started sleeping through the night at about 4 months old on a consisstent basis. It was WONDERFUL! :-) By the time they were about 6 months old, I had them in their own rooms. I remember the 1am and 5am feedings. Those were the hardest. I've never read Babywise, so I'm not sure how long it says you should let them cry. For me, when they were 3 months old, letting them cry for long periods of time wasn't an option. At 3 months, they're still brand new and need you when they cry, in my opinion. I noticed when they hit between 6 and 8 months that they learned how and when to cry to get your attention and learn the art of mommy manipulation. LOL But if he wakes up at night crying at 3 months old, it's because he needs his mommy or daddy. :-)

I say keep him on a routine as much as you can. I always fed my kids in the dark when it was night time and was as quiet as possible when getting them out of their crib or bassinet to feed them. I never turned the lights on or even engaged in speaking to them much, aside from a few occasional words to calm them down. I would let them eat, I'd burp them, change them and put them right back to bed. It worked with all 4 of them. I think it taught them that when the lights are out and there's no noise, it's time to sleep. And, eventually, they stopped waking every 3 or 4 hours and maintained stretches of 6, 7 or 8 hours. Plus, keeping them on a routine is a way to teach them dicipine, even at this young age. Good luck and congratulations!!

A.

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K.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I never moved my kids out of the room so young, but I did want to mention, if you're not too comfortable with crying it out, the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley was rather helpful to me. There are some real do-able solutions for getting your babe to sleep longer in all sorts of siturations (in room, in bed, in seperate room, different ages, etc.). It's certainly worth checking out from the library. I hope you have gotten something that works for you guys!

K.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

do it now! both of my sons were in their own rooms from the beginning...all it requires is a good baby monitor & a consistent bedtime ritual - whether it be a nap or bedtime - stay consistent & your son will learn to self-soothe.

With my daycare & with my own children, I used a combination of swaddling, propping, low lights/no lights depending on the time of day, AND most important ...soft music. Once this becomes a ritual, it truly does work!

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Both of our girls were in there own room from the night we brought them home. I breastfed both and of course had monitors in their rooms until age 3. I believe it was about 5 months when they slept about 7-8 hours.
Good luck and get your rest.
I also had my first at age 30.

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning A., Congrats with your new little prince.
I kept our boys in our room until they were 6 months. At that time they didn't have baby monitors :( They had started sitting up and moving around alot so I thought it was time to give Dad a little more quiet time in bed. I stayed home he worked full time, plus went to college when the boys got older. Our boys were 27 months apart so I put the youngest down first in case he fused for a few minutes. Then the eldest who went right to sleep with no problems.
We also had a routine, dinner, bath time, snuggle time and storys with prayers.

A. I think it is ok to move him anytime YOU feel comfy with. You can have the awesome monitors to hear any little bump or squeaks. We also play soft Classical Baby Einstein CD's for white noise, for the youngest gr son & his brother I keep daily. Corbin doesn't have music at short nap time, but does on his L-O-N-G nap ( lol bedtime )

Here's this Nana praying the 6 hours is a great new thing that will last for a long time right up through the whole night. Great start A.!!

Have a wonderful SONday
K. Nana of 5

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Wow, so many great suggestions. I agree with so many other moms. My first was 10 months old when we moved her out of ear shot and into her own room. (She slept in a pack and play in the office across the hall from our room once she finally slept through the night.) My youngest of 4 (who's 4 1/2 now) sleeps in the bedroom farthest away from us and we use a monitor every night in case he wakes and needs us, but it is very rare. I like to know I'll be able to hear him, though.

When my now 11 year old was a baby, Babywise was a very popular book. I've heard that the strategies just aren't correct, though. Like someone else said, go with your gut feeling. Please don't get wrapped up in following Babywise exactly.

What I learned from a sleep expert nurse was the idea of increasing the amount of time at which you go back to the baby. Start at 30 seconds and work up to 5 minutes or 10 minutes or whatever but I think there's a specific age at which you can start that, I can't remember.

You will get through this phase and it will just be a blur one day. Try to enjoy.

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J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Our son came home from the hospital into his own room also.

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

all 3 of mine slept in their own room from 2-3 weeks old. We used a baby monitor and could hear them move and breath on the monitor so that helped a lot. They all 3 were sleeping 7-8 hours by 6-8 weeks. They ate all their ounces during the day and didn't feed them after 10:00 if they woke up they got a bottle of water and usually didn't wake up much for a drink of water. Usually woke up between 5:30-6 AM for first feeding then went back to sleep for a few more hours. The longer you have them in your room sleeping the harder it is to break later on and I think babies sleep better in their own rooms if they get used to it early. They also learn to be more independent. Mine would play and coo in their cribs a while in the mornings before I went to get them. They didn't usually wake up crying, they woke up playing/talking to themselves and was so cute to listen to them and would go get them before they started getting fussy. You can usually tell when they are getting bored of talking to themselves. Baby monitors work great for your piece of mind that they are ok. My oldest had bronchiolitis from age 3 months and would worry about his breathing but I could hear him on the monitor and if I didn't hear his breathing then I would get up and check on him but he did well sleeping in his own room and crib and slept better than he did in our room.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i think you may have an easier time than you think. he's already in his pack n play, so just move that into his room. the white noise is a great idea. keep his same routine and same blankets, etc, so he doesn't have a huge adjustment to make. i think he'll be fine. it sounds like he's on a good schedule already, only waking twice at most? sounds good to me! my son was always in his own room, and started sucking his thumb when he was about 2 months old so he slept through the night from that point on. sorry, i'm not much help! just wanted to let you know it sounds like you're right on schedule, so don't sweat it too much. i bet if you try putting him in his own room though, you'll find he does great. if not, no biggie, all babies go on their own timeline and even some moms aren't ready to move them at this age yet. just do what feels right for you and your baby. he'll be fine :)

oh and also, if you haven't already, i would invest in a baby monitor, my son is 2 1/2 and we still LOVE ours. but it was indispensible the first few months. couldn't put a price tag on how it helped ease my mind.

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V.F.

answers from Topeka on

Every one is so different. I had 3 children. They always slept in their own rooms. Then you don't hear all the little noises. The older 2 slept through the night by 2 months-they were bottle fed.(8-10 hours) The 3rd was breast fed and he did not sleep through until after age 2 partly because my husband had a head injury and could not stand any crying.

Good luck to you.

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We moved our kids out of our bedroom when they outgrew the cradle which was about 3-4 months old. It did seem like they slept better and so did I. We had a monitor and our kids actually slept upstairs.

Good look I remember the sleepless nights.

M.

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L.S.

answers from Wichita on

Hello A.!!

Congrats on your little guy... they sure are a blessing!!

Both my kids were in their own room from the start, so I'm no help there. However, when my son was 7 weeks old, he got pertussis and coughed and coughed and coughed, so we kept him in our room for about 2-3 weeks until he started getting better. When he finally did get better, we just moved him back into his room just as he was before and we never had any problems. So, just move your little guy into his own room, keep a routine, turn on something for some white noise and see what happens!!

Hopefully your little guy will transition just fine and you and your husband can get plenty of ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's! I understand your frustration!!

Good luck and God bless, ls

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I moved my son to is own room when he was about 13 months old. He still doesn't sleep through the night regularly, but didn't start sleeping longer stretches until he was about 15 months old.

There are more gentle ways to help your baby sleep; The No Cry Sleep Solution is a great book to give you some ideas on helping your baby. I also enjoyed reading The Happiest Baby on the block.

J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Sounds like you've gotten lots of good advice. Our daughter slept in a bassinet by our bed until she was about 3 months old and then we moved her into her crib in her own room. She had outgrown the bassinet by then and needed a little more space. She was sleeping for longer stretches by then, too. Something I would suggest for you as I'm also not a fan of CIO is the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep and Wake Up Happy" by Kim West. Three months is the perfect time to start sleep training. I've found that this method works great until the toddler stage, so I'm looking at some other options now. (Our daughter is a pretty good sleeper about 5 nights a week, but goes through phases sometimes when I think she'll never sleep well again!) I agree with some of the other posts - all of you will sleep better once he's in his own room. Good luck with the transition!

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

I want to start by saying I have not read through the responses, but would recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution books (for babies, toddlers, and for naptime) INSTEAD of letting a baby so young cry it out! That method is CRUEL (for both mommy AND baby)! I tried a little of that until someone that was very well educated in child development informed me that I am my son's whole world and when I do not go to him when he cries I could be inadvertently causing lasting psychological damage. If you insist on allowing your baby cry, do wait until after 6 months or so. PLEASE read this article before trying CIO: http://naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html Go with your gut. A mother knows when her baby needs her. God made us that way. Pray. Ask for guidance.

As for when to put him in his own room...I have read that it is best to wait until he is over one year old. I wish I could find that article as well, but it has something to do with SIDS. I remember no bumper pads (pillows, blankes, etc.), put baby on their BACK to sleep, have a fan in the room (not blowing directly on baby) or a ceiling fan, and stay in same room (not same bed) - all for a year.

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M.F.

answers from Kansas City on

A.
we moved our babies into their own rooms at six weeks but I can't speak for hubby but I was out like a bullet at the smallest sound. also, my daughter was a 10p and 5a bottle most nights at 3.5 months. my son was a whole other matter....he was not 10p and 5a til 7.5 months. oh lord that was rough. so it's not outside normal to have babies at this point at around three months. having said that, this was bottle.

also I don't believe in letting babies cry it out. if you adopt (which we did) the social workers say all the research currently indicates you should get the baby right away til six months. "you cannot spoil a baby under six months" is the adage.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I put my girls in their rooms from day one. I didn't want to have to retrain later down the road. Not to mention I'm a light sleeper.

And just a side note, BW doesn't recommend letting them cry for longer than 15 minutes. (Obviously I'm a fan of the book- my girls sleep through the night at 6 and 10 weeks.)

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J.V.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 4 1/2 months old. We expected to keep her in our room in a co-sleeper until around 6 months, but at 4 months, we set up the crib in her room. I laid her down in it while I was folding laundry, and she fell asleep, and has been sleeping in it every night since! She LOVES her crib in her room! We expected to have a huge transition time (cry it out, ferber method, etc), but it was easy as can be! She sleeps better in there than in our room. We have a monitor set up, and her room is right next to ours, so if I hear her wake up, I can go right there. She's been doing great. I know this is not the norm, but we lucked out.
As for sleeping through the night...she started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks (lucky me again!), but just before 4 months, she started eating less during the day and waking to eat at night. I researched this quite a bit, and it is fairly common. At 4 months, they start getting really curious about the world, and would rather look around at things than eat. At night, it's dark and quiet, so they are able to eat in peace. So we're up 2-3 times a night for feeding. Hopefully, in the next few months or so, she will start sleeping through the night again.
This probably didn't really help you at all, but at least you know that we are all trying to figure this stuff out. It's tough because all babies are so different. Good luck!

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Well I lucked out and my daughter slept through the night from day one but she didn't move into her own room until 5 or 6 months just because we didn't have a crib yet. But I would recommend putting him in his room for his naps first then once he is used to that then start him at night. another tip is try feeding him more at night or even add just a little cereal to his bottle. it may help him sleep longer. also don't let him fall asleep while eating because then he will want to fall asleep all the time with a bottle or nipple in his mouth.

Also just to let you know I don't agree with the whole idea of keeping a baby in your bedroom for a year. I personally think it is best for them to have their own room so that you can have your own privacy.

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