My 2 Year Old Has Stopped Napping and I Can Not Get Her to Go to Bed at Night

I hope I don't get too much slack from what Im about to say...we moved my 2yo to a big girl bed just before my little one arrived. Had the same problem with her getting out of her bed and coming to the living room over and over. I finally just shut the door, she then learned to open it so I put a child safety thingy on the inside...yes I know sounds terrible but it worked...after several nights of her sitting at the door trying to open, crying and then later falling asleep on the floor, she finally gave up. After she would fall asleep we would return to her room, put her in her bed if necessary, and leave her door cracked so that if she got up at night she could still come to our room.
Now, to keep her in bed, we tell her we'll leave the door open if she stays in bed but if she gets out of her bed, we'll have to shut the door...she stays in bed! Do know we're just now getting to this point after months of the other so it will take time and patience but it's worth it.

I'm not an expert, but from all I've heard and read, napping is not an option until kids are at least 3, and every kid I know has typically napped at least an hour and a half until 3 1/2 or 4.
It's a viscious cycle, but not napping means she's over tired, and that does something to seratonin levels, which causes her to sleep less at night.
Definitely try backing bed time up to 7:00, or at least make sure she's in bed by 7:30. The same principle might be happening with naps. If she's being put down too late, she might be already on her second wind and not be able to sleep. Maybe try backing up nap time too. It wouldn't be unreasonable to have an 11:00 nap time for a while until her schedule is straightened out.

Also, you should pick one bed and get rid of the other one. She doesn't need to make that choice.
Next, find a way to keep her in her room. There are several ways to try, but a door knob cover on the inside of the door might work. I've also heard of installing a door knob in reverse so you can lock it, or put a secondary latch on the door (something like a hook and eye). You won't be locking her in her room and walking away, so don't think of this as "mean" or cruel or anything. We start with a baby gate and if our 2 yr old is screaming and throwing a fit, we shut his door and literally stand there and hold it until he's calm. He calms down pretty quickly though. My older child was more persistent so we used the door knob cover to give us a break!
It took a few weeks of this kind of "training" but it has been worth it. Now bed times are much more peaceful!

Oh, and we tried the "supernanny" tactic of picking the child up and taking him back to his room over and over and over again, but got tired of it. However, we have friends who stuck it out with this method and it did work after a few nights. I think it's easier if your kid weighs less than 30 pounds!

I would try putting her to bed EARLIER! It sounds like you are trying to put her to bed after she gets her second wind and that can be brutal! I put my son to bed between 7 and 8 - he doesn't nap either and I have found if it gets later than that, I end up paying the price BIG TIME! I would also make sure that you have a solid bed time routine that you do NOT deviate from. Our bedtime routine is dinner, bath, books, prayers, songs and bed. We use a white noise machine and we play a classical music CD - Peaceful Mornings - every night. He will actually tell you if you mix or confuse a step in his bedtime routine. I would NOT let her play in bed - that can turn into a 2 year party! Bedtime should be about relaxing - we told our son that God makes it dark at night so that we can rest and relax our bodies and minds so that we will have energy to play and have fun the next day. I know it is hard, but try earlier bed time. Good luck :)

I've been fortunate that my kids are generally great nappers. I just expect them to lay down and they do. If they don't sleep we at least have rest time in their rooms. They are only allowed to read books during that time. (we usually do this if its too late in the day for a nap)

It sounds like she is over tired and can't relax to get to sleep. That might be the reason she isn't napping, too. Kids that age need soooooo much sleep for their growing bodies.

When we switched from crib to toddler bed we had similar problems. My husband and I happened to see an episode of Supernanny where she dealt with bedtime problems. I would love for her to come to my house as long as we didn't have to be on television! :)

(check out supernanny.us.com and search for bedtime routines)

Even if she refuses to sleep for nap time, you can still put her in her room and tell her it's time for her "quiet play time" in her room. Even if she doesn't like to play in their, find something for her to do in their, maybe get her a special "quiet time" toy or dress up kit or something.

I know many moms that use this, myself included and it has helped a lot.

As for the night time sleeping, I'm not sure yet, my son is still in the crib. Maybe put her back in her crib for a couple nights and tell her she has to stay in the crib until she can learn to stay in her room and go to sleep in her big girl bed. (The door knob cover is a great idea too.)

Good luck, transitioning is always hard, but it will pass!