My Child Is Hitting

Does he only hit when he is on your lap? My son hits me when I am holding him he hits me and I put him down on the floor and dont talk to him or look at him for a minute, even when he gets up and stands next to me and cries then I say well you need to be nice to mommy and not hit that hurts me. I heard that giving them a time out every minute of their age, so a 1 year old gets a minute, I only leave him in time out and let him cry for a minute even if he doesnt sit where I told him to just ignore him for a minute.

Its been working slowly, they hate to be ignored.

Hope that helps

G.

Hi,

I agree with all of the responses so far, but I would just add to also try to give him an alternative response. Tell him when he's mad he can say "grrrrr" or he can hit a pillow or the floor. He may need an appropriate way to get his aggression out. Good luck!
M.

Hitting is a form of communication from babies that age. To be honest, sometimes the word 'no' is overused. I would only use the no with a very authoritative tone if they were in a dangerous situation. Perhaps you may be startling him. I am a big believer in time-outs and talking. It's not to be seen as a punishment, it's to calm down and think about their actions. So my suggestion would be carry on with the time out and try to use words other than NO though, and try to redirect the conversation ("that wasn't nice, that hurt my feelings, etc") and save no for when they're going to stick their fingers in the fire. You have to address the hitting--tell that's not the way you should communicate or express feelings. Believe me, at the age of 15 mos, they understands what's going on. GOOD LUCK!!

L.,
I have a 16 month old girl that is going through the same thing as well as hitting herself in the head when you tell her no, no or to stop. I don't really have any advice other than I am going through it too. We have begun time outs. Sitting in a chair for a minute instead of spanking. She seems to be getting the concept of she's in trouble. Hopefully, they grow out of this stage...FAST.

I can't say for certain, b/c my sonis only 14 months old and not every child is the same... but with him I've noticed that when I don't make a big deal about something he stops doing it, and vise versa; when I make a big deal out of something he continues to do it. SO, when he does something "bad" I just say in a calm voice "oh, that wasn't nice." or something like that. If I was playing with him with atoy or somehting I might put the toy down and stop playing as well. So far this has worked. It seems the less attentin I give bad behavior the less interested it makes him in doing it. I do have aniece who is the youngest of three that I babysit once a week and she is almost 17 months. I discovered she hits my son. Again, I don't want to draw a lot of attention to her hitting, so I calmly say her name outloud and she stops, with little reaction from my son. I'm not sure if this helps, but so far this has been how I've treated discipline type situations.

Hello! My 18 mos. daughter went through this, pinching as well. We tried to be stern and tell her it hurts us but she just laughed at us. The doctor recommended something that totally worked. I did this 3 times and she hasn't hit or pinched since. Take his hands right when he does it. Look him in the eye and tell him NO! THAT HURTS! Then turn him around put him in your lap facing out. Cross his arms in front of him and firmly hold him. Not too tight but enough that he can't get away. Hold him there for about 30 seconds to a minute without saying a word. Then let him go and hopefuly this will work. It totally worked for us. Goodluck!

I have been there as well. It sounds like he is doing it for attention. Like you said, the more you tell him to stop, the more he does it. When he does it, I would grab his hand and calmly say "please don't hit, that hurts me". Then just move on without saying anything more. Hopefully, after a while, he will figure out that he won't get the attention from hitting you.
All and all, I have found that your kids will be always be going through a phase. Some last longer than others but you will find at some point, the phase will indeed end.
Good Luck!
J. (mom of 4)