Hi Moms,
This is sort of long but I really need some words of advice.
I'm really upset because I live in Garland and my Mom and sister live in Mesquite.
Well, my sister and I both have little girls that have always been very close (they are both 6 and only 9 days apart)and currently attend Kindergarten at the same private school and next year they'll be starting public. My daughter's going to a great school in the GISD next year and my Mom and sister want my neice to go to the same school. One main reason is because my neice has cystic fibrosis (a deadly lung disease) and the school is very educated on the disease so my Mom and sister really want her to go there.
Well basically, my Mom and my sister want to use MY address for her to go there and I told them no because I don't want to get in trouble and look like a really big liar to my daughter's school if they ever get caught not living in the GISD.
As much as I want my neice and my daughter to be in the same school, I refuse to lie for them and just think it's way too risky!
So, when I told them NO my mom just flipped out!! (I'm sure it shocked her because I never tell her no). She started calling me "every" name in the book, said she never want's to see me again EVER, and she doesn't even care if I'm laying on my death bed!
My mom and I are VERY close and talk daily and I'm so upset about what she has said. BESIDES, my sister is considering moving to Garland anyhow so she'll probably still get her to go to the school but they don't want to wait to enroll her in case there aren't any more seats left.
I'm just SO mad she's acting like this to me and it's given me the biggest headache and I've also got three young kids of my own to care for!
I'm just really need any words of advice here....thanks for your helpful words Mamas!
Am I in the wrong here? Is this really no big deal to let someone use your address for a school? I've always heard it is so I'm going by what I feel is best for everyone in my situation....
Thank you to the responses I've gotten but I also want to point out this is my first year ever to deal with public schools (as a parent) and I have no idea how strict they are on this subject. I'm mainly concerned that my daughter or neice will slip up one day (since they are the same age and possibly be in the same class) and say they don't live together in front of the teacher, or a staff member!
AND, my neice receives medicaid so wouldn't I have to contact the medicaid office to say she's living with me if she's using my address for school? There's just a lot of underlying issues here that I'm worried about and I just want to do what's best.
Mom shouldn't have said those things but it really is no big deal with the whole address thing. I've taught for 10 years and people do it all the time. The kids do slip up and say the wrong things too but the adults have to stick to the story (lie). If you really don't want to lie, I understand. But the worst thing that could happen is she'll be asked to leave and this happens all the time and shouldn't be all that embarrassing.
You are right to stick to your guns. I might have chickened out and told them that they can do what they want, but I don't want to know about it, and will certainly not lie if confronted. You were very brave. And now your mom "hates" you because she's not getting her way? For God's sake! If it's so important then your sister needs to pack up her things and move NOW! Don't do it for your mom -- then she'll keep trying to manipulate you. If this were my situation, I'd call the district and tell them that your sister wants to move to the area to get her daughter in, and what are the options in the meantime. Can she move now? If she can't because of a lease or something, then tell the school that and see if they can work something out. What's this about not having enough "seats"? Generally if you're in the school's boundaries you're IN, even if you come in the middle of the year. And with a disability I can't imagine they'd be able to turn her away. Seems like you have nothing to lose...your mom is already supposedly disowning you, right? She is SO wrong, and living under her thumb is not healthy for you and your kiddos. Be proud of yourself and know you did the right thing. Let's get that sister of yours moved already! Good luck, honey.
I don't know about other school districts, but the one I taught in for 15 years will not tolerate students going to one school who live in another district or even in another school boundry. Here if the school find out, the parent is phoned immediately and that day is the student's last day. All records will be sent to the "home" school where the student lives. Worst of all, the teachers are told and some of the other students could find out which might be embarassing to whoever is out of district. If everyone just put their kids in the schools they wanted, some schools would end up grossly overcrowded and some empty. In addition, what a burden to place on kids, "Don't tell the teachers, your friends, etc. about....." It also sends the message to kids that schools, teachers, administrators are not their friends and we must keep secrets from them. Finally, what about a transfer???? Since your niece has special needs, I would think all administrators concerned would be anxious to get her the assistance she needs. They might even waive the transfer fee.
I am late getting into this but here is my .02....I support you!!! We as parents should set a proper example for our kids and lying and telling them to lie is not....tell her to contact the school district and tell them she is moving in - they may let her preenroll anyone.........I do have the say from experience that GISD is one of the worst in the state for special needs kids.........good luck and keep setting that great example.........
Actually, you might want to check into this, but I heard a couple of people talking about how Garland school district was an OPEN district and parents could send their kids to any school in the district as long as they could get the kids to it. I spoke with a woman recently who was planning on changing schools for her daughter because it was not meeting the standards she wanted for her little girl. Good luck - things just might work out for everyone! :)
I have to agree with Masami. I mean, just thinking back on my school days, I had a lot of friends that did not live in the district, they always had the support of their family to get a better education. As a past volunteer, I have seen where the school would find out and just act like its no big deal, they would let the child stay in school. Its to their benefit, the more kids enrolled, the more money the school makes, everyone is happy.
N.,
I hope this doesn't sound rude, but it looks like you could stand to lighten up a bit. First of all, if you follow the news and all, the lady that lied to put her kid in a school district that was better (less gangs, etc than hers) in Atlanta this last fall was cleared of any wrongdoing. The precendence has been set that people trying to get better education for their children are not to be held legally liable, punished, etc in these situations. Now, if they found out...could they make her move schools or something? Yes, by all means they could. However, all you need to do is draw up a fake rental agreement...maybe change the phone bill to her name or something and let her pay it for you doing it for her...and voilla...she is in. Should not be a big deal. The other issue is that it is not just an issue of a better district, etc. If your sister has a real reason (the CF reason), then I would do it. You won't get in trouble for this. It's not like your mom is asking you to drive the getaway car in a bank robbery. I know that may sound rough, but really...try to smooth this over and get it done. Hope that helps!
