I would try goats milk before soy, however if it is the proteins she is allergic to, then goat will be just as much of a problem. (I know, as I went through the exact same thing with my daughter. She is now two and is allergic to milk, eggs, tree nuts, peanuts, and fish.)
I use soy milk with her. I know there is a lot of debate about soy milk, but my daughter also is very underweight and rice milk just does not have enough fat or protein in it for her. If you daughter is healthy sized, then I would go with rice milk before soy milk, but make sure she's getting fat and protein from other sources.
Some great ideas for finger foods are avocado bites, cooked beans, brown rice w/ smart balance (butter substitute) on it, baked sweet potatoes or yams, frozen peas (great for teething).
You can buy sunbutter (like peanut butter but made from sunflower seeds) and make sandwiches for her. Cut up into small pieces for a finger food.
Whenever I make waffles or pancakes I have to make it from scratch, rather than a mix because mixes contained powdered milk. I just substitute soymilk in place of the milk or buttermilk in the recipe, and it turns out fine. My whole family eats them. I do the same with muffins. I have a bran muffin recipe that my daughter LOVES that I can send to you if you're interested.
Most recipes aren't that hard to adapt if you just substitute soy milk and make a few alterations (leaving out nuts, etc.)
I also make green smoothies almost every day. Throw in some frozen fruit, some juice or water, a bunch of spinach (you won't even taste it), a splash of lemon juice, a few tbsp of flax seed oil, and blend. They are really yummy and so healthy. You can use other kinds of greens as well. Sometimes I use collards or chard or kale. You could throw in some tofu as well to bump up the protein quotient.
I also add extra olive oil to just about everything she eats. If we're having pasta, I dump extra on hers. If she's having toast I spread a very generous amount of smart balance on it (made from olive oil).
That's all I can think of right now.
Good luck!