Need Help, 1 Month Old Cries Unless Held and Unable to Get Anything Done

Updated on November 14, 2008
S.H. asks from Circle Pines, MN
53 answers

I had my second baby 1 month ago and he is doing well. However, he cries and fusses unless I or someone is holding him. My daughter was the same way, however, she had colic so this time around with him is much better. What I am wondering is do most newborn babies cry unless they are held or am I one of the few mothers that have fussier babies? I am looking for other mothers experiences with their newborn babies with this. Were you able to put your newborn in a bouncy chair while he/she was awake and they didn't fuss and cry a few minutes after? I am just curious what other mothers have experienced with this and if anybody has advice on what I can do to not have to hold him all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to hold him but I am having a hard time getting anything done at home especially with a 2 year old at home and as I am writing this email he is starting to fuss and I have to hold him as I type. Please help me. I love holding my son but not all day long. Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all to everyone and your wonderful advice. It was great to hear so many mothers who had babies who were fussy in their first months. I have started to use my sling more often and have also been swaddling him more. It seems to be working a little better and I am getting a little bit more done and keeping my sanity. I also feel like I can handle his fussiness better, now that I know so many women have gone through what I am going through. Thanks again and I really appreciate all the support and help!

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A.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a two month old baby girl and have the same experience. She wants to be held all the time. I have read that they will grow out of it aroung 4 months of age as they learn to self soothe. I am pretty exhausted and am learning to readjust my expectations for getting anything done. I am thinking about getting a baby sling so I can carry around and keep my hands free.

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B.B.

answers from Madison on

I stick my baby in a Baby Bjorn. That way he has the sensation that he's being held, but I have both hands to get things done.

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

S. - I wore my daughter in a carrier to get anything done when she was small. Find one that is comfortable for you and baby and is "hands free" and off you go. Good luck!

K. B

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M.I.

answers from Duluth on

mom - way to go for being so sensitive to your baby's needs! you are doing the right thing to respond to him when he cries!! dont let anyone tell you any different.

ignore any and all advice that, first of all, goes against your heart. if it breaks your heart, thats instinct, and instinct is for a reason. second, IGNORE any advice that suggests that babies need to cry like this for any reason, dont listen to people who say that they have to cry to build their lungs, dont listen to people who say that babies have to be let cry to become 'independent'. im telling you, it may seem to work - baby might eventually stop crying, but at the expense of his trust and relationship with you..

www.askdrsears.com has great advice for parents. it supports moms instincts most of all.
you need to be holding your baby. DONT STOP READING: invest in a comfortable sling or carrier. this will allow you to have your hands free to do other things. i HIGHLY recommend the moby wrap. i tried 3 different kinds of carriers, and this one was by far the most comfortable.

but a baby needing to be held is the most natural, needed thing a baby knows! after all, he just spent 9 months - his entire existence - inside your womb, warm, carried, loved, near your voice and your smell.... being out in the world is a foreign thing to him. the first 3 months or so after birth is sometimes called the 4th trimester because babies in the youngest age group are VERY high needs all around. they just are not ready to be separate yet. babies literally do not understand that they and mom are separate beings. they need that connection, that closeness! need it.

heres the other thing. babies are not manipulators. babies do not sit and think about what to do to get their way, they dont understand that we have things to do, they dont understand that we have needs. they only know their own needs. and everything in a babies first year (or so) IS a need. babies DO NOT MANIPULATE!!!

i highly recommend that you look for your local la leche league group, or one near you. yes, it is a breastfeeding group essentially, but even if you are formula feeding they will not turn you away. it is not about breastmilk/formula it is about moms helping moms, it is about finding real information from moms who've been there, it is about having time to just talk to other moms, its about supporting each other, no matter what the choice. even formula feeding is called bottlenursing in some circles. because the emotional aspect still must be there in bottle feeding just as much as nursing. so i dont want you to be turned away by the idea of going to la leche league if you arent nursing.
the moms there will be able to help you and support you and let you know of other ways to help your baby be able to be laid down for a while.

above all, know that this is TOTALLY normal. babies will naturally want to be held and near someone. its very scary to be out in the hard, cold, lonely world when all you've known is being carried in moms womb and protected. curled up and snug near skin to skin is where they prefer to be. and like i said, a sling - the moby wrap especially - is a GREAT option.

if you have a shop nearby that sells slings (not just walmart or target - maybe someplace that sells cloth diapers usually too would have slings like this) try them out. sometimes the moby wrap is a bit complicated to wrap up. but the comfort that the baby will get, and that you will have carrying him this way, its fantastic.

anyway, mom if you have any questions about just being tuned into your sons needs, if you need any support for going against the grain of parenting advice, shoot me a note, and i will try to help. the best thing that you can do is just listen and RESPOND to your baby. please please please respond to your baby. the cry it out is the worst idea anyone ever thought of.... i dont want to make you feel guilty if you did this with your older child... you only can do what you know - but i do want you to know that it is destructive to your relationship.
www.askdrsears.com has information on cry it out. my son NEVER was left to cry it out, and by 17 months he was sleeping nap and night through the night without any trouble - because he trusts me and he doesnt think his crib is a scary place to be.... you know? its backwards logic to think that we should make our kids cry and cry and think that its healthy.
HOWEVER, that doesnt mean that when you are at your wits end you cant let your baby cry. that doesnt mean that at an older age when you are sure that they just need to chill or something you cant let them cry. again, this is an instictual thing. you will know when your child is mentally and emotionally capable of being left alone. :D thats the great thing about parenting; only YOU - the mom of YOUR child - knows whats best for them. outside advice isnt going to beat instinct any day. :D

good luck mom - know that this is normal, and keep on keepin on! :D

2 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Dubuque on

I have been there. My first would never let me put him down. You really could be dealing with a variety of things. My first son had a sensory processing disorder which basically caused a state of panic with any stimulation. I believe 100% in wearing your baby. I have seen the fussiest babies calm right down with just being worn a couple of hours a day, and you also have your hands free to be with your 2 year old. After such amazing results with my son I decided to start making the wraps. You can find them online but they can be expensive. My wraps are $30-$35. But you can also make your own. You will need 6 yards of material and each wrap is about 20 inches wide so depending on the width of the material you buy you can get up to 3 wraps. If you want help on making your own or on ideas of how to use a wrap let me know. It really is a lifesaver and your infant gets the closness and bonding time while you can keep your sanity.
~M.

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A.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi, I'm sure you've thought of this already, but what about swaddling? It helped my daughter a lot. Otherwise, I would put her in a carrier, a Moby, which helped her feel like she was still in the womb and I could get some things done.
I think babies just like the contact. They're so used to be "held" all the time in your belly...
Anyway, I hope that helps.
A.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

S.; yes, that is how most babies are, actually us humans are social beings, we enjoy having others around, and when we are infants, we have to rely tottaly on others, as an infant, we cry to let you know we need something, sometimes we just need to be fed, or changed, and sometimes we just want love, and other times, we just enjoy being with the one who cares for us, either way, learn to do things with the baby at your side, inyour arms, that time will go by so fast, soon they will be off and grown and you will not be able to hold them, and care for them, they made baby slings and things so you can carry the baby with you while you do your chores, and hey its ok to let the chores go, and care for your oo so little one, one month old, how cool, its very hard to have a one month old, sounds too like you might need a little break, take a few hours for yourself, and then get right back to caring for that little one that wants to be with you , just because, hang in there, and enjoy life, hold your little one, and enjoy it, it will be gone, in no time, D. s

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K.W.

answers from Omaha on

The book, "Happiest Baby on the Block" is a must read and talks about what you are going through.

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T.S.

answers from Madison on

I cannot comment on the crying. My little one didn't got through that. However, I can suggest a baby carrier. Although you might still need to carry your little one around due to his needs, you will be hands free when doing so. Also, you will most likely have way less crying. I might suggest either a Moby Wrap or some kind of Mei Tai. Check out this site and you might get some suggestions:
www.thebabywearer.com

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,
First off, it's totally normal for a one month old to want to be held. They don't know how to entertain themselves yet, and bouncies may or may not be too stimulating for them. Have you tried wearing your baby? Buy a good baby carrier (one that goes over both shoulders to save your back and shoulders), such as a Baby Bjorn, an Ergo, or a simple wrap (those are the best and most inexpensive I think). You can actually make your own wrap out of a really long piece of fabric if you're feeling adventurous. There are some great sites out there to teach you how to tie them. Wearing your baby will allow you to get stuff done, while providing your child that security and human warmth he needs right now!

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D.H.

answers from Iowa City on

Oh! I can really feel your pain. My first son was like that, I had to constantly hold him to keep him from crying- and constantly breastfeed him at night to keep him asleep. My second child, now 7 months old, is a lot better becuase he doens't have colic..but I have spoiled him by carrying him around and holding him constantly. But it is getting better, he will now sit in the bouncy chair for 20 minutes at a time, and in the swing less cause he has learned to not like it....but as for your situation..
there isn't an easy fix..if he is 1 month old, it may just be cause he is so small and likes to feel safe. Have you tried swaddling him? I swaddled both of mine, then put them in a swing and that kept them happy for 10-20 minutes at a time.
Otherwise, that has been my experience- otherwise I used a homemade cloth carry device to do dishes, etc...it is aweful I know to be done being pregnant, and still unable to be free to do things...hang in there for 3 months, and try those things to get by- he should become more independent if you keep trying to put him on his own.
good luck!

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T.D.

answers from St. Cloud on

S.,
I am so sorry you have having difficulties. This is neve any fun especially when you are already worn out and tired from having a newborn. Have you ever thought about taking your little one to a chiropractor? I have taken both my girls there when they were newborns and got GREAT results both times. It definently can't hurt anything and they are sooooo gentle you barely know they are even adjusting your baby. Just looks like they are holding him/her. I would highly recommend that as you just never know whats going on in their nervous system and most of the time its something as small as a simple adjustment needing to be made. I know of a couple great chiropractors so if you'd like pm me and I can give you some suggestions.
I hope you will consider this as I believe you will see results

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Swaddle your baby quite snuggly and read the book "The Happiest Baby on The Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp.

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M.N.

answers from Green Bay on

Go to mayawrap.com and order a sling. They are the GREATEST! It takes practice to get used to it, though... I have a daughter that just turned three and a 9 m. old son and I use it all of the time!!!! It is great to have your hands free. Once your newborn starts being able to do more on his own he'll let you put him down more.. Good luck and it will get easier....

Melissa

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B.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes!
My second needed to be held. Even while I peed. It sucked and it sucked how guilty I would feel at being bitter towards her for it! But she is almost two now and very independant and I think now after not being able to do ANYTHING, I can multitask like nobodys business! It does get easier.
good luck!
I forgot to add, although everyone says housework can wait, I am one who, albeit has lowered her standards, needs a certain amount of stuff done. It gets frusterating and you just have to pick a couple of things that will make you the happiest. The rest gets done eventually. Or you lose sleep or pay someone else to temporarily do it. Or hire a sitter so you can manically clean for a bit. WHatever you need to do. It doees get easier as your little girl gets older.

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S.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son was the same way as an infant. My savior was the Baby Bjorn. I would just strap him in while I went about my daily activities around the house and he was always content. It was also the only way I could go grocery shopping with him because he wouldn't tolerate his car seat for very long. There are so many baby carriers/slings out there, I'm sure you can find one that works for both you and your son. Good luck and hang in there!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would ask your doctor and see if he has reflux. Our son did the same thing and he wanted me to hold him so he was always upright. Once he got on meds for it he was able to sit in bouncy seats and play on the floor. And they now are thinking that colic is more of acid reflux. Lots of babies get it these days and they do out grow it. Our first out grew it at one years old. It is worth a try. You should be able to put him down.

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A.P.

answers from Milwaukee on

Wear him. It is so,so good for him and you will get your hands back. I had a ring-sling when my son was tiny and then got a mai-tai (may-tye), which I love, still use often and my son is 15 months old. There are many websites out there...one great one (I hope this is right) is called babywearer.com. If not...just google it. I think there is also an org. called Milwaukee Baby Wearers. You can find slings on Craigs list if $ is an issue. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

My son was like this, we spent many hours with him laying on me on the couch as it was the only way he'd sleep at times also. By 4-5months it gets much better. He would tolerate a few minutes here and there in the bouncey seat or swing, by 3 months he started to actually like the swing. Try swaddling him when he is set down so he still feels secure, sometimes that bought me a few extra minutes but some days the only way I could cook dinner or do dishes was if I put my son in the sling. www.mamatoto.org is an awesome site for sling use if you've never used one before. I highly reccomend it! Good luck and just rest assured it doesn't last forever and then you'll miss your cuddle time!

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

A sling will save your life! I got a GREAT ring sling on EBay for under $20, just be sure it's made with heavy rings!

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A.W.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Well, we're in this together! I am in the same boat :) I have a moby wrap, and I think it is the best invention ever. It was kind of pricy, but I wear it every day, at least once a day. I think it gets better over time. When they are this tiny, they think they are part of us, and they just like to be close. I am trying to enjoy it, and not lose my mind. Good luck to you!

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Get a nice front carrier like a Baby Bjorn, they even sell them used on Craigslist. That way your baby will be secure and you have two free hands to get stuff done. Good luck we have all lived thru it too.

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H.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Swaddle him! It worked so well for my daughter. She had colic and cried and fussed all the time. Swaddling helped soooooooo much.

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N.B.

answers from Madison on

All babies are so different! Yours probably needs a lot of physical closeness so feel good about holding him a lot. At the same time, you can help him learn to "self-calm" by putting him down when you are sure he is well-rested and fed, going about some business and talking him though it in a positive, friendly voice. Let him fuss a bit, he will start to learn and eventually settle for longer and longer periods of time. This is born of necessity when there is another young child in the house. I'm not talking about letting a one month old "cry it out". Just realize that you don't have to feel guilty about having to set him down every once in a while so that life can go on in your household. Small breaks can help you to take care of yourself while you help him to learn to do the same. Good luck and remember to breathe! This too shall pass.

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Invest in a good sling and know it wont last forever. Before you know it, you will be sending him off to college. :) Think about where he spent the last 9 mos, inside you, held, warm, snuggled, moving, comfy, nothing was better. Then he is born and is in this bright, loud, cold, hard world. Of course he wants to be held. :) Do you have family/friends that can help - either with the baby, with your older child, or with getting things done around the house?
S.

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a 2 month old and she was relativly easy compared to my son cause he to had had colic. I would try a front carrier...Like a baby bjorn. My daughter is better now but for awhile didnt want to be put down when she was awake (she slept pretty well though)still does its just not as much. Also if your nursing that can be hard for the two year old. I am unable to be at my three year old's beck and call. Anyways it is very normal for him to want to be held all the time since he's used to being carried all the time in your womb. Also I would do some skin to skin contact once a day and that might help him, but especially invest in a carrier. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

yes, they need that feel of closeness. For 9 months they were where it was warm and safe with a heartbeat giving them comfort along with the vibrations of your voice. My kids all liked being held or cuddled for the first few months then as they get more independant they were ok with being down on the floor on a blanket with toys or sleeping in their cribs for naps. My granddaughter started out never wanting to be put down. They had a portable crib that has a bassenet insert, I borrowed my nephews bassenet that also vibrates. They came over when she was newly home for dinner and I laid her in the bassenet which I had next to the dinning room table and turned on that vibration. She slept so soundly, it astounded my son and daughter in law... they took that bassenet home with them that night! You might try one of the vibrating seats or the bassenet. It should help, especially if you wrap the baby up so she/he feels safe and warm.

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A.S.

answers from Green Bay on

did you try a swing or anything? The ocean aquarium swing saved my life. Also, swaddling him up tight could help. It relieves tummy pressure. Don't get into the habit of picking him up the moment he cries. Wait to see if he'll settle down after a little while. It won't hurt him to cry. Distract him with toys on the floor where he plays. I only had 1 fussy baby out of 3, but it was enough. Good luck.

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J.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi S.,
I have 4 children and they were all like what you are describing. The first and last where the most difficult for me. Remember that "this too will pass" and "time goes quickly" Say a pray, and try and keep up on your sleep. (When you don't get enough sleep, things bother you more than they should). And finally, as the baby gets better head contol you'll notice it is easier to carry him and accomplish tasks at the same time.
J.

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K.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

My first one was colicy, but was fine until the evening. My second one was mellow and can sit by himself for long periods of time from the beginning. Don't feel bad for needing to rest your arms and your brain! I did carry them both in a sling and a baby bjorn, but not for too long b/c my back isn't great. Maybe just put him down and a minute and stay and focus on him, even if he is fussing. Then pick him up. Then try it for a little longer, and walk away for a minute, then come back. He should learn, eventually, to entertain himself. Maybe have your daughter play so he can see her. My 4 mo old LOVES to watch his brother. Also, does his have something to look at in the bouncy? Even out the window at the leaves? Or try the sling idea, that should free up your hands and make him feel held. HTH!

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D.M.

answers from Duluth on

what i did with my kids was take my Grandma's advice. First off, it was knowing that sometimes it's okay for them to cry. They too need to find their voice, and strengthen their lungs. Also, using a receiving blankets and wrapping them tight with their arms at the sides with the blanket around them. They'll look like a little burrito! Just make sure the blanket is low enought below their cute little faces. Newborn babies like the feeling of security of being held tight, as they were in the womb...it has worked for both my kids and neither one of them was fussy, and both slept through the night since they were 2 weeks old. Another thing my Grandmother used to tell me is that if you get up with your baby at night, they'll keep getting up. So at night when they would wake up, even as soon as we came home from the hospital, I had a small lamp with a black light bulb in it so I could see everything, yet still sleep. When the babies would wake I'd change them, feed them just a couple ounces, then put them right back to bed. I really have no idea how it is for some parents who have babies of all ages who constantly wake up at night, or can't be put down without wanting to be held, but this is what I did with both my kids, and they were both content, happy little babies who slept all night long, and really never fussed to be held. I also made sure they were in their swings, or someplace with interesting things to look at or music playing to keep them occupied. I also let my house be somewhat noisy. I did't want babies that would get woken up as soon as you krept in to the kitchen or bathroom. It got so I could clean house, listen to music, and even vacuum while they were sleeping. Even when they were toddlers.....I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU OUT....I'm not sure how old your little one is right now, but Good luck to you and your family.... :)

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,

My second son was like that for about 1/2 the day... in the mornings he was ok in his bouncy seat, but by the time my (then nearly 2) other son was down for his after lunch nap, I had to hold him until the end of the day pretty much... He had an extreme fussy period at my other sons bedtime, and there was some serious bouncing and rocking to calm him.

He really liked movement, so I invested in a small swing (I never had one with my first) and that did help some. I think by about 6 weeks he was big enough to sit in it. I also used to sit him in the bouncy seat and put my foot on it to give him a good bounce all the time, which also helped some too.

The life saver I had was a Hot Sling and an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder sling. I used them both, wearing one all the time made my shoulder sore so by switching sometimes it was easier on my body. I also used my Baby Bjorn sometimes too.

Good luck to you, remember it doesn't last that long... so if you have to hold him, just try to ignore all the other things you are "supposed" to be doing, and try to find a way to play with your toddler at the same time :)

Jessica

SAHM to Charlie (3 1/2) Joey (22 months) and baby girl due Nov.

K.E.

answers from Duluth on

Hi S.,

I will echo the advice you've already received and suggest wearing your baby in some type of sling or carrier. My daughter wasn't crazy about the wraps (I tried three different kinds), but she LOVED her baby bjorn. In fact, at the time, we were selling our house, so I'd get a call for a showing, put her in the baby bjorn (facing me), and go about straightening and vacuuming. Sure enough, she'd usually be asleep by the time I was finished. I think Sharon explained it well...wearing your baby mimics their experience in the womb, that's why it works so well. Once he's sleepy, you may also have luck with the bouncy seats that vibrate. I would ignore the advice to just let him cry. Babies have needs and if they're not met as infants, they will resurface later in life, and you may not like who or what ends up filling those unmet needs. Good luck and congratulations!

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S.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know you are quite busy with a two year old at home also but there is a period of time where babies need to feel secure. I think they should be held whenever they want to for the first few months anyway. I read you can never spoil a child before their one. It worked for me. I held my child whenever she needed to be held and after just a couple of months she was sleeping thru the night and she was fussing less and less. She started to feel that security that a baby needs to feel safe. So maybe a baby carrier would be a good idea. That way the baby will feel close to you and you can still get some things done.

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K.A.

answers from Madison on

It's not a good idea to start comparing your child ( what ever age) to others. Your baby is a unique individual with unique needs. It is completely normal for a 1 month old to cry and fuss when not being held. It's a protective human instinct for baby to want to be near mama. If you think about it, what would happen if you left your baby lying alone in the wild? Crying is their protective instinct and only defense against danger. It is sign of intelligence if you ask me. Of course, you do need to get things done, so please do yourself and get a sling, wrap, or find some way to wear your baby. Go to www. mothering.Com and search for articles on babywearing and attachment parenting. Look for Dr. Sears Baby Book, or Parenting your high need baby. People will give so much bad advice on this topic, such as telling you can spoil your baby by holding them too much. That is complete nonsense, and research shows that babys' who's needs are addressed are more secure and independent as older kids. Make sure you are asking friends and family for help so you can get breaks, and just do the best you can. It will get easier. K. mama to an 8y old and 3 y old

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would invest in a baby sling. My son (now 9 months) was for the most part a content newborn. But occasionally, he did cry "for no reason", and being in the sling next to me or his dad was comforting to him.

I don't know how big he is--some 1 month olds are still itty-bitty--but if he can sit in an infant chair, maybe hang some toys that he can look at. When my was 6 months old, we laid him under one of those play gyms, and then also propped up a crib mirror. He would sit and stare at himself (LOL) and stare up at the toys above him.

Good luck!

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was the same way. I think most babies are. They lived in you for 9 months and aren't so eager to be on their own. I only have the one child so it wasn't as bad but I felt I couldn't do any housework or even shower. Eventually I got to the point that I desided it was ok for her to cry while I took a care of a few things. Usually she wasn't alone for more than 5 minutes. I also used the baby-bjorn infant carrier a lot. This allowed her to be held but kept my arms free. Is your husband helpful? I usually passed her off to him shortly after he came home from work, just to get a break and chores actually became a welcome change.

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S.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

YES this is very normal! Don't despair! My son was exactly the same. He was perfectly sweet and fine as long as he was held, but hated being put down. He became more comfortable with relative "independence" after few months.

I put him in a sling or a baby carrier and wore him around the house while I did dishes or vacuuming or whatever. It's a bit inhibitive, depending on what you need to get done, but at least it gives you SOME freedom to move around hands free.

Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I did breastfeed, but also pumped while at work. Sometimes when I got home I just needed to do a few things like change clothes or get a bite to eat or whatever, and could not do any of those things because Aaron would cry unless I held him. I finally needing some me time put him in the bouncy chair and turned the vibrater on wrapped him up in his blanket, and put a bottle full of the pumped breast milk in his mouth. I'd then pump once more at home so he would have what he needed for daycare the next day. I remember the batteries wearing out on the chair and him being so mad while I scrambled to put new ones in. Of course he was held a lot, but everyone needs a break. I was lucky to have both my parents there to help me when he was a baby as I was a single mom right out of college and had student loan bills and daycare bills and car payments could not afford an apartment on top of everything at the time. They could see when he needed more and I was exausted and would step in and hold him for a while.
Sometimes it is okay if they cry though too. Obviously not for too long, but you have your hands full with a 2 year old too, and just need to let go of being super mom sometimes:) I have three and our younger ones are 4 and 3 only 15 months apart, and I remember Thomas fighting for my attention when Molly was tiny. Try putting him in the bouncy, and then when he gets fussy hold him for a few minutes, and then put him in a swing, and then just rotate him around so you can have short breaks from holding him.

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C.S.

answers from Madison on

My now 2.5 year old was like that too--it is hard to get anything done or a break! Especially since you have a 2 year old too. I would advise trying to wear him in a sling or baby bjorn; he'll like the movement and probably fall asleep. And sometimes I would lie him in my lap when trying to email, etc., on his tummy so I had both hands free. Another LIFESAVER was a swing--do you have one? My 4 month old doesn't like it so much but it was the only sanity I had with my first son to get a break (he also would not sleep unless he was next to me in bed). The bouncy seat did the trick but only for a little bit, the swing would satisfy him a lot longer (though I didn't leave him in it too long b/c I always felt bad after 45 minutes that it was too long!) Please know this will pass eventually and probably will be a lot better in the next month or two, but in the meantime I'd try the sling so you can at least have 2 hands free at some point! Hang in there. I know how draining it can be!

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C.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

It has been awhile since I have had a newborn, but I remember that my daughter wouldn't let me get anything done either. She was my first, but must be more frustrating with the second as things do need to get done. I just remember doing all sorts of things with her in the snugglie. My husband even took a picture of me vaccuuming with her in it to remind me of how often she was there.

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B.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a 2 yr old boy who was like that as a baby. I had to hold him all the time, but it got better - maybe around 4 months or so. My daughter (who is 4 months) was like that at first too, but not anymore. You could use a baby bjorn, so you have 2 free hands to do things. That's the only thing I can suggest. I feel for you, though. I've been there and it's not easy. Sometimes you just have to let them cry a little if you have to get something done. I know - it's really hard. Good luck to you.

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

Have you tried swaddling him when you set him down?

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T.P.

answers from La Crosse on

My daughter did the same thing all day and night for the fist 6 month of her life, and it was really hard, my son, who is now 5 month never had a problem. I am not sure what you have tried, but for my son i discovered slinglings, which is one brand of slings, it feels to them like they are being held, but allows you to carry them without your hands which hopefully wil make life easier for you.

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L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

It will pass, but maybe ask your about reflux or gas? Some simple leg exercises can help relieve gas - my son had this and he loved being held because it helped relieve his gas. Otherwise, a bouncy seat with vibration helped him.

Good Luck - it will pass - hold him while you can! Won't be long before he's off and running!

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C.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Buy a sling! It's a lifesaver! And it helps so much out in public if you want them to sleep while you're out. I have one from www.lucky-baby.com that I love and I'm planning on buying a carrier from www.ergobaby.com before my next baby comes in January. You could probably buy one at Target or Babies R Us as well. It will definitely make your life easier though!

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T.M.

answers from Des Moines on

Try the old wind up swings my kids liked those. Whenever I was doing anything I always had one in the snuggly though so he wouldn't cry, and I could have my hands free. The only time the bouncy chair worked though was when I was in the kitchen our washer was wright next to our counter so I would put it on the washing machine, and give him a wooden spoon to play with, and that usually worked.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Oh I totally agree with the sling, chiropractor and Happiest Baby on the Block(book) suggestions! I had a really high maintenence baby :) and all those things made it so much easier!

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M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with the others about babywearing. I have a mei tai and a Moby wrap. I have yet to use the Moby because it's for our son who isn't here yet but my older 2 love to be worn still in the mei tai. My youngest also liked to be held a lot. It turns out, though, that it was because he had reflux and was uncomfortable lying down.

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K.A.

answers from Grand Forks on

Babies of course like to be held-but crying is not a bad thing either. They are learning about there world-If I cry someone will hold me and I love it! I am not sure what you put him in when you put him down, but he may need a light blanket tucked around him for security. Does he like music playing near him or something to look at. You may have to let him cry a little until he gets interested in something else. I used a front carrier for my youngest so I could get things done. Some babies seem to crave the closeness, but holding him too much will not make for good transitions later.

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

My son was like that, i could do nothing with out him in my arms or he would be furious. he wouldnt even nap with out me holding him so 24/7 he was held by someone, for the first few weeks. then i was able to set him down in a bouncy type seat for 20 mins or so. Then at about 2 months he suddenly wanted his own space. he would fuss until he was laid in his own crib, and wouldnt sleep in the crib in our room he wanted his own room. Now at almost 7 months he plays on his own, and fusses if i have "ignored" him to long, which is never long becasue he is into everything now. Wearing him the front pouch worked well for me too, he would fall asleep quickly, i also took him on a lot of stroller rides because he liked being in there adn movign around then once he fell asleep i had a few minutes to do a chore or two. Most of the big stuff had to wait until my husband was available to help.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was the same way. I loved my sling, I just wish I had gotten it sooner! I used the Hot Slings, you can find them at Target stores, but more color/size options on the website. Don't listen to people who tell you that you will spoil your baby-meeting his needs is not spoiling and being in close contact with mom is a need for some (most) newborns! Enjoy this time and good luck getting stuff done with your 2 year old. Housework can wait!! :)

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A.H.

answers from Appleton on

Your baby is totally normal. I carried my daughter around during the day in a front carrier when I needed to get laundry or dishes or emailing done. A lot of the time she even napped that way. As she got older, around 3 or 4 months, she did better on her own in a bouncy seat or swing and we gradually stopped using the carrier.

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