Need Help on Custody

Updated on September 09, 2008
A.H. asks from Mesa, AZ
10 answers

My husband has a daughter from a high school girlfriend and right now there is no court assigned custody. Right now we just do 50/50 but things are not going so well between us. She holds all the control and if things do not go her way she threatens to take her away from us. We live in fear of losing her if we dont do exactly what her mother wants. We are going to file for joint custody of her to make everything legal but are not sure on what steps we need to take. If anyone knows someone who we can talk to that is not too expensive or a paralegal would be great. Thank you for your feed back and info!

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L.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A.,

I'm sorry that you are going through this! Contact Paul De Blank: ###-###-####. He's a highly respected family law attorney.

Best wishes!!

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D.C.

answers from Phoenix on

My husband and I both just went through similar situations. We both had children from previous relationships, but nothing legal as far as custody and child support.
If you go to this website, and go to the self service center and look for Family Court under forms. Make sure you read all the instructions before filling. There is also refrence to paralegals and attorneys at the courthouse who can help you with any questions you have.

www.superiorcourt.maricopa.gov

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Las Cruces on

I know how hard this can be. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. It's horrible when people use children as threats. I have dealt with this a lot. I'm working on a legal degree. It's not hard to fill out the paper work and all you need to do is pay the filing fee. You can get the papers online or at the courthouse. I'd be glad to help you if you would like.

1 mom found this helpful
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Z.B.

answers from Tucson on

I do not have experience in adopting but yes, talk to the lawyers and paralegals and get custody as soon as you can and I wish you the best.

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G.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I would start by calling family lawyers and asking them where to begin...they will tell you what needs to happen, around about how much it will cost, etc. I have done some research regarding adoption and custody...just call, they can tell you what you need to know.

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B.B.

answers from Phoenix on

A.,

I suggest that you and your husband consult with an attorney as soon as possible about getting this taken care of. There is no reason why the mother should have that much control over your lives. It is not good for the child either. I would suggest that you draw up an agreement that can be put into a formal order for the court to sign. Also, is your husband on the birth certificate? If not contact the hospital paternity program to get the proper paperwork to have that taken care of. He has just as many rights as the mother. She sounds like someone on a power trip. It will hurt the child in the long run if she is aloud to continue with this game. I will warn you that it could get worse before it gets better.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

congratualitons on being such a good step parent. the main thing is to do what is best for the child and during your court proceedings it is of the utmost importance to repeatedly say this especialy when talking to a judge. the cheapest way is to do it your self. go to the court website and download the forms and file them. i think the filing fees are about $40. If the ex hires a lawyer don't try to do it on your own, she will win. the first step that they will order is a paternity declaration. if his name is on the birth certificate then it will be easy but it has to be on record. if not he will have to file an affidavit stating that he claims paternity. if thee is a question or if she says he is not the father you will have to get a paternity test wich is about$2000. and no , the court won't require her to pay for it. after that, they will probably oder parenting classes and mediation. make sure you both go to these . during mediation, make sure you stress that you want what is best for the child. crying screaming or getting angry wont get you anywhere. use "I" messages such as I want what is best for the child, not "you messages, such as you alway or you never. The good thing is that the courts almost always award joint custody. whether it is physical custody or not, it will give you rights with regards to visitation. during the patrenting and meidation thing you will be required to come up witha visitation schedule that is agreeable to both sets of parents. that will give you some leverage while the court process is going on. after that you wil have a court hearing and verdict. if you are seeking joint custody with physical custody, you have to prove that the child is better off with you. such as if the mom is a single parent and her living conditions are worse than yours. proving that the mother is unfit is nearly immpossibel so try not to go there. unless she has a mental health or drug problem and si a danger to the child it is almost immpossible to prove. she will fight you tooth and nail for physical custody too because that means she doesnt get child suppport. you would if it wasw appropriate. god luck

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T.W.

answers from Phoenix on

If you go to the maricopa county supreme court website there is a selfservice center that has all the forms and instuctions on how to do just that. If you like to do thing frist hand just go to the court house and they are very helpful there. I went through a custody battle with my ex and the website was very helpful on all the info. you can even print out the forms you need. I hope this helps you.

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T.H.

answers from Albuquerque on

David Standridge is an excellent attorney. His # is ###-###-####. You can try him or go down to the county courthouse and go to the 2nd floor. They have forms to help you file for custody yourself.

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C.V.

answers from Albuquerque on

It sounds like you all know what kind of custody issue is wanted its just a matter of getting it done. If you are not in the best financial state to get an attorney each court has its own legal aid office that can help including forms, file for pro bono and if you qualify it sets off the filing fees. You can get most of the forms online or at the courthouse. should the issue arise like it has that she can hold the child against you then request mediation when you first file and they will required her to be specific about her issues and they will help you get to a legal resolution in the meantime once you file one of the forms she will receive clearly states no one party will interfere with custody, visitation, or communication of said children with other parent.

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