Need to Know If This Is Normal (Gets Kinda Personal)

Updated on February 24, 2009
C.H. asks from Clarks Hill, IN
13 answers

Ok I'm 29 years old and I do already have 2 kids, but they are 12 and 9 and I don't remember the pregnancies so well, so I have a question. I'm in my 27th week of my pregnancy and am already getting so big and so miserable! There are times I don't think I'm going to make it to the end of May! The backaches and the pains in my abdomen are sometimes so bad I can hardly move! Then this gets kind of personal but whenever my Fiance and I make love by the time it's over I hurt so bad that there are times we can't finish! We just have to stop because the pain is so bad. Feels like I'm cramping. I'm not bleeding or spotting at all so is this normal? Just been freaking out about alot of this and figured you ladies could help me out! You all are awesome!!!

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

YOu need to buy the book PAIN FREE WOMEN by Pete Egoscue. This will take you thru various e-cises (exercises/positions) that will help the discomfort AND help you in delivery. It takes you thru EVERY stage of pregnancy and tells you WHY you need to be doing them.

DONT blow this off! Take some time and personal responsibility to do them. DO NOT resort to meds, etc. It will only mask the symptoms. These e-cises actually get to the root of the pain & discomfort problems.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I had pains in my lower left abdomen with my second. I just figured it was stretching of the muscle there and put up with it, but yes it was very severe. With my third, I remember getting big fast and feeling very tired and miserable. Talk to your doctor. If there is nothing abnormal, maybe you could use some warm up exercises and a mild pain reliever before sex, or try the doggy style and see if that helps.

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T.B.

answers from Muncie on

Well, of course check it out with your doctor....but honey, find a new position (or positions) and take control yourself (rather than him) of the depth, motion, etc....you are almost 10 years older...our bodies have a way of doing this to us...

Good Luck and congrats!

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N.S.

answers from Columbus on

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your backaches and abdominal pains are completely normal. I went through the same pains at about the same time in my pregnancy. I remember how uncomfortable it was. Everything is growing and stretching and can cause some pain. What gave me relief was to lay down on my left side and drink water and rest. As far as the pain during intercourse, call your doctor and leave a message for his nurse to call you back. She may have some answers. I wouldn't wait for the next appointment.

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S.J.

answers from Dayton on

Dear C.,

It may or may not be "normal" but if sex isn't fun stop doing it. Try something that doesn't require penetration or change positions so you are more comfortable (like on you side and your husband behind you.) A little imagination will go a long way.

You might consider getting Tommy in to see Dr. Merkle. Maybe some of his problems could be minimized if you changed her diet. His web site is www.3000health.com and his office phone is ###-###-####. He does what he does by blood and other lab tests so there is no need to come to Dayton if you aren't close. The web site has case studies and old radio shows that will help you understand how he works.

God Bless,

S.

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K.V.

answers from Columbus on

Discomfort is the norm that last month. However, something does not sound right if you have an appointment the next day or so insist that the doc do an ultrasound to check the baby if not call and schedule an appointment. I was like you only not that bad and it was because the baby was transversly breech. Laying sideways in my abodmin and not up and down. But please call your doc.

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Congrats on the pregnancy! They say with a second or third pregnancy your body "remembers" how to be pregnant so you can get bigger quicker than with a first pregnancy. I guess it is easier for the uterus to stretch since it has been stretched before.

When I was prego I also had terrible back pain and abdominal aches. I had a fibroid and was considered high risk due to that. The fibroid was the cause of my aches...perhaps you have a fibroid too? They are pretty common actually. Maybe ask your doctor next visit. If sex is painfull I suggest you stop until after the baby comes. I was not allowed to have sex during my pregnancy due to the fibroid, and let me tell you...I didn't mind one bit. Trust me, you can make it a few months without it...and so can your fiance. If something is painful it is your bodies way of telling you something is wrong. Definately bring all this up at your next ob appt. And make sure you ask if you could possibly have a fibroid. It should be easily spotted on an ultasound, but even my doctor missed it for the first few months. Good luck to you. Just tell yourself that your baby is worth all the misery! As soon as you see that little face you will forget all about this!

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A.S.

answers from Columbus on

I'd say take the safe route and abstain until you talk to your doctor. Like a previous poster said, the wait is doable and is definitely worth it if it means avoiding a possible early induction of labor. Also, I'm going to send you a personal note to add to this.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

When I was pregnant with my first I had the same problem. Severe pain in love making around the 27th week or so. We pretty much stopped intercourse until after the baby was born and found other ways to be intimate.. If you are concerned then talk to your doctor. When I was pregnant with my second I did not have any problems. So I think each time is different.

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H.S.

answers from Cleveland on

Aww. I'm 27 weeks along too. And in the same boat. My husband and I have pretty much just given up on sex. :( I asked my doctor about it, and she said everything is okay. The way she explained it to me is that all of your muscles are already stretched from first pregnancies etc. So you notice alot more of the cramps and aches because the muscles are used. Good luck with everything!

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I.D.

answers from Dayton on

I have 3 kids and I'm 30 years old. I completely understand you! I've been there! I think is pretty normal what you're going through. Your muscles have been stretched more than once and things aren't the same way as when you were in your early 20s. After you deliver, you will also notice that your muscles won't go back to the place where they used to be... my daughter is 2 years old and even with daily exercise (with tons of ab work!!!), things aren't the way they used to be... but it's all part of being a mom! I don't think necessarily that what is you have is symptomatic of something more serious or something that can be fixed by the doctor. You just need to accept that your body has changed. - Try using a full bathtub is you have a big one since the water can help with the extra weight and relaxing your muscles... my other suggestion is to wear a chiropractic belt for pregnancy. I COMPLETELY stopped having back pain after I started using one. It holds your belly up and redistributes the weight so it puts less strain on your abdominal and back muscles :)

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D.A.

answers from Cleveland on

Regarding the pains, I suggest you check with your OB doc.

Is Tommy's severe sleep apnea treated? Very highly recommend addressing that and treating the underlying cause. Not only will his behavior and depression improve, but sleep apnea is stressful on the heart and shortens life expectancy if not treated. You can get more info on the American Academy of Pediatrics website www.aap.org or from a children's hospital with a pediatric sleep disorders clinic.
Good luck with both issues!

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S.H.

answers from South Bend on

Every pregnancy is different. You are a lot older than you were with your other two and that alone can make a world of difference. There is 8 years between my two and the second pregnancy was hell. I had alot of the same symptoms you describe. As far as your belly hurting, I had that and it was round ligament pain. I had to use a "maternity belt" to hold my belly up some. It helped alot and I was able to function fairly normally. As far as the pain during intercourse, that is probably normal too but if you are still concerned ask your doc. Good luck and God bless!

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