New Baby on the Way

My daughter also told people she had a baby in her belly at 20 months when her sister was born. I don't think you need to get too detailed or really describe the anatomy/childbirth issues at that age. I would just keep things very basic and focus on what things will be like when the new baby arrives. There are lots of books out there on this topic for young children. Good luck!

Hello S.! Congratulations! I am a SAHM of a 6 yr. old son, and soon to be 4 year old girl, and I am due June 20th. Our son, while he didn't tell us he was having his own baby, had a little trouble understanding this pregnancy. (obviously he was much younger when we had our second.) I think though, that the younger the child is that they all to some degree, boy or girl, want to "have their own baby" too, because it's what Mommy's doing. I don't think there's any harm in the sentiment, or with your fiancee trying to show him some male/female differences. Children understand things differently in their own way. Our children are very excited to see our ob/gyn. He and his staff are wonderful if the kids have questions, or just want some extra attention, but we are sure to include them in appointments. Well, my next is an internal, so probably not that kind! But I see no harm. It sounds like you have a wonderful little man who will be very interested in his new sibling. GOOD LUCK!!

HI,

I am pregnant with my fourth. My 4 yr old daughter says she has a baby in her belly too, sometimes alot in one week, sometimes not at all, so does my 4 yr old neice, too. My sister seems to be makin a bigger deal of her daughter saying it than I am of mine. It's a phase, they are young and trying to understand what is going on. I just laugh and giggle and tell my daughter, you can't have a baby, you;re still little or you can have one when you grow up and get married, or in ur case, only girls can have babies in their bellies. But realize they are just adjusting and will understand in their own time. Try not to overdo it with trying to force him to understand too much too soon.

I ask my daughter if she will be my helper with her little brother on the way,, seems to make her feel included and important. My older two went thru the same thing as well.

My daughter also goes to every appt I have, she likes to hear the 'baby heart', lol.

It will all work out and your son will be a normal little boy, just love him with all you have. Kids are the cutest and say the funniest things too.

Take care and God bless,

L.

P.S. CONGRATS ON THE NEW ONE !!!

Hi S.,
Congrats on your good news!
I would just humor your son with the baby in his belly thing. Acting as if he is pregnant too is his way of mentally processing that you are, and you are right, he is too little to understand what is really going on. Ask him things like what sex his baby is or what he is going to name it. Most kids his age act this way when they find out someone is pregnant. My best friend's 3 year old twin daughters were pregnant the whole time I was! Every time I visited they did the exact same thing that your son does with lifting up the shirt. Everytime my 2 year old nephew saw me, he ran to grab a pillow and put it under his shirt. He would WALK AROUND ALL DAY LIKE THAT at family parties! (His baby was a girl named Cody by the way! HaHa!) His fascination with your pregnancy will probably last the entire time you are pregnant, so if you handle it in a fun way, it will help your little guy accept his new brother or sister much easier. Usually if you acknowledge what they are saying and have some fun with it for the moment, they will move on to something else. A better approach to helping him handle it is to explain that he will be a big brother. You can tell him what he will be able to teach his new brother/sister or what he can help you with when the baby arrives. There's an old saying that you should never try to rationalize with a 3 year old! I wish you and your family all the best!

my son did the same thing when he was 2 and a half and i was going to have his sister i just laughed and let it go anything about a baby was positive. then when i was pregnant with my third (i too was on the pill) my son totally understood that the baby was in mommies belly he was 5 at this time and his sister who is three said the same as my son that the baby was in her belly to.

I actually just went through this with my then 4 year old son. He would also say that he too had a baby in his belly and after a few attempts at explaining that only mommys have babys I just let it go and called him a silly goose when he did say that. The best way to include your son is let him go with you to hear the baby hearbeat and as you buy things for the baby let him pick out a toy for his new brother or sister.
I was induced so he got the chance to be in the room with me unitl it got to the point that he could see me in pain. I also bought some big brother books and mommys helper books. I can say that I am very lucky that I dont have any jeolousy issues and he loves to help out with his sister.
I wouldnt worry about him saying that he has a baby too. He will know soon enough what goes on. Just include him in as much as you can and let him help you set things up and pick a few things out for the new baby. I would say that the books help too. Good Luck.

A. B.

I don't know that anything else needs to be explained. It's really normal for kids to pretend they're pregnant when mommy is. I'd say pat his belly sweetly and teach him how to nicely touch yours (teach by doing). You can talk baby names with him, etc. He'll understand some day that he cannot physically have a baby, but for right now, he wants to be like you. Perhaps he thinks the baby thing is so cool he doesn't want to be left out!

I know dads can get a little creeped out over their boys doing "girl" things (playing w/ dolls, painting nails, etc.), but it's really a normal part of exploring who they are - not that they're gay or going to be gay, they're just learning by doing.

Enjoy your "shared" pregnancy! It'll pass soon enough.

HI. I am a mother of 3 sometimes wonderful children.lol. When my son was 2 we found out that I was pregnant with my daughter. I found that it helped him understand by taking him to the doctors with me. Not the appointmenst where I got an exam but the ones where they measure your belly and check the babys heartbeat and he got to hear the hearbeat. I also took him to the ultrasound with me and when they brought my husband back to see the ultrasound my son got to see his baby sister and he got excited about that. I hope this advice helps you. Good luck with your new addition.

That's a perfectly normal response. My 4 year old had a baby in her belly too when I was pregnant with her sister. No need for further explanation. He's only 3. ;-)

Congratulations!

I am 24 soon to be 25, I took my 9 & 6 year olds to the appointments with me so they would be able to see the Ultrasounds as well as hear the babys' heart beat. That really helped my 6 year old feel connected with my baby before she was born. I think it will help y our son not only taking him and including him in your appointments, but also let him touch your belly and stuff like that...it will help him connect with the idea of you having another baby.

I, too, have a 3 year old who thinks he's got a baby in his tummy, because I'm pregnant. =) When I was pregnant with the 3 year old, my oldest son (who is now 5) thought he'd have a baby in his tummy too. Now the oldest tells the 3 year old, "No,only mommies have babies." Honestly, it's not anything to worry about. He's 3, not 13. I don't know about taking him to your doctor's appointment though. 3 year olds are very aware of things and it may scare him to see you up on the doctor's table more than help. Relax, don't worry, he's not going to think there's a baby in his tummy forever! =)

Don't worry. He'll get it. Try to take him with you to your ultrasound so that he can see the baby. My dauther is 7 and my son is almost 3. We are expecting our 3rd in August. Little guys like to pretend. Maybe you are taking his "baby in his belly" too seriously. Maybe he is just pretending so that he can be like his Mommy. Once you start to feel the baby moving, you can have your son put his hand on your belly and feel his new sibling move.

If you or your fiance are really concerned, check out the library. We have a book that shows a human woman and different animals in the book. It has a picture of what each looks like (they are all pregnant) followed by a picture that shows what the baby in the belly looks like. My daughter during this and my last pregnancy and my son now both like to look at my pregnancy books, also. A favorite is "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" by Glade B Curtis and Judith Schuler. It tells you what you can expect each week during the pregnancy and how the baby is growing and what it looks like at different intervals in the pregancy. At first a week by week look and later in the book every couple of weeks.

Good luck with your pregnancy and your son. I hope this helps you out.

Hi S.

My son was 2 in January and we just brought his baby sister home on Tuesday. During my pregnancy I shared your concerns. When I started to show I told him that Mommy had a baby in her belly and he would point to my belly and say baby, he would point to my husbands belly and say baby too. We just sort of chuckled when he assumed everyone had a baby in there belly but would tell him over and over that he was getting a baby sister and she is growing in Mommy's belly. He would repeat what we told him but we really didn't think he understood because he was too young. I didn't try to over explain it, it seemed too complex. I just would show him my belly and I let him look at and touch my belly when he wanted (as long as he wasn't trying to hike my shirt up in public). He would still sometimes go to his Daddy's belly and say baby and we just laughed and let it go. I figured that he was just not going to understand. I delivered our little girl Monday morning and my parents brought my son to the hospital to visit. He looked up and grinned and said Mommy and baby sister! In his own way he understood what we were telling him. I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing. Another thing we did was a get a book of Mommy animals and their babies and we read it often and he always wanted to see the babies. I know you are going to continue about your little man not understanding and being horrified by the invader (baby) but I was pleasantly surprised and I bet you will be too! Good luck!

i got pregnant with my second child when my son was 2 1/2...i told him the same thing that mommy has a baby in her belly...and he would kiss it and call it by the name we had picked out..but he also would pull up his shirt and say he had a baby too...i was so worried about how he would take a new baby...i went out and bought a bunch of toys for my son so if someone came to the house with a present for the baby, i could give him one too...(although they all ended up as xmas presents because he didnt get jealous at all)..i made sure i spent "alone" time with him after the baby was born and never said i couldnt do anything with him or for him "because of the baby"...i made sure i spent the night with him before i went into the hospital(to have the baby)and i made sure he came to the hospital with me and could see i was okay..then i had my husband take him to my sisters....then we he came to visit later that day, i asked him if he wanted to hold the baby and didnt push my daughter onto him..my son was great...i dont know what he really understood about what was going on with me..but i would just say to follow your sons lead..if he asks questions, answer them..if he is fine with not knowing some things,be cool with that too..i never brought my son with me to the doctors visits other than to hear the heartbeat or i couldnt get a sitter...but never if i was going to "examined"..we brought my son with us to get a 3d ultrasound at womb with a view...we thought that would help him understand and be more interested..but all he wanted to do was play with the train set they had there..and get a balloon(they make a big deal about being a big brother or sister there)...i think your son is just too young..and even though you want him to be interested and understand, the most important thing is that the older child doesnt feel neglected or less important because of the new baby...take care..i wish you the very very best...R.

I also have a 3 year old and we will have another one next month. She says the same thing. They will do this because it is what mommy is doing. Nothing much you can do about it but ride it out and let it take its course.

Let it go for now. Let him enjoy your pregnancy with you. You may even consider getting him a baby so when yours comes he doesn't feel left out.

I have a three year old too, and I know he's too young to understand many things that I really thought he'd be able get a grip on. Pregnancy is something that little ones just don't seem to understand. It must just be too confusing for them. He'll understand when his little sibling arrives, that's for sure. Maybe it will all click into place then.