Newborn Home After 9 Day Stay in NICU

Updated on January 16, 2009
P.L. asks from Gautier, MS
32 answers

My son was born via c-section at 37w1d and was sent to NICU at another hospital because he retained fluid on his lungs and could not breath well. It has always been my intention to breastfeed him. The lactation support at the hospital I delivered at is severly lacking. I was finally able to pump and my milk supply is now adequate. The problem is that for most of his NICU stay he was either tube fed or bottle fed. I was only able to attempt breastfeeding him the last two days he was in in the hospital. Now, he is not wanting to latch on. Or, if he latches on, he only sucks 3-4 times, lets go and may or may not latch again. Or, he just falls asleep as soon as he latches on. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I don't like the idea of denying him a bottle because I don't want him to go hungry. I am able to pump enough breast milk to feed him by bottle, but that's really doing double duty and with two other child 3 1/2 and under... well you get the picture. Any insight or advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.

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F.N.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My son was also born with fluid on his lungs. He was in ICU for 3 days. When I was able to feed him, he would latch on, suck a few times and be exhausted. Offer him the breast often and he should build up to a full feeding. If he doesn't develop the ability soon to breastfeed, then switch to a bottle. If you can't breastfeed don't stress about it. He will do fine. The most important thing is he is healthy and thriving. Just love him.

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C.P.

answers from Tulsa on

My daughter was in NICU for 10 days. I didn't think she would breastfeed. But with work and patience. She did, and she did for 9 months. Get a nipple sheild. It feels like a bottle to them and then when the milk starts coming down, take it off. The problem is , is the breast is harder to get milk from. They have to work at it. The shield is great. After about a week of that, he will latch right on and do great.

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L.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

Contact your local La Leche League right away. Caring moms who have seen it all. They can come straight to your house! The sooner the better.

Pumping and partial bottle IS double duty but if that is what is required, hey, that's nothing. It will only last a few days, anyway, as things settle down. I don't think you will have to, but if it comes to that, really, a tough couple of days, turning into an adjusting couple of weeks will turn into an easy rest of his feeding career. (And who doesn't have it rough no matter whether they nurse or formula feed, NICU or not...postpartum/newborn is tough! It will be over before you know it, though.)

If he is hungry, he will learn quickly. If you give him the bottle, he will learn to reject hte breast. My humble opinion. I defer to La LEche League.

Keep at it. Keep working with him, don't force *anything*, you are so close to having this sorted out. These problems really don't last long and as soon as your learn the right trick, you're in the clear, even of seemingly impossible problems!!

Your issues are very common, and I'm sure the La Leche League women you contact have seen far worse, and fixed it!

Google them now! Type in "La Leche League" then space bar, then your city or town name, then space bar, then your area code in parentheses. Hit Enter, and a number will come right up in the Google search results. Someone can probably be at your house within a couple of hours.

You don't have to give up on breastfeeding. And during this time of the year, you REALLY don't want to. Getting out of that warm bed, walking on that cold floor to mix formula in hte middle of hte night? Blah! Let your baby sleep with you - especially comforting for everyone after all the trauma - and nurse as he needs it through the night. You'll barely wake once you get hte hang of it.

For more info on sleep sharing, and how to wean him out of your bed whenever you're all ready, check out askdrsears.com. It's all so much easier than you think.

You're doing such a marvelous job. I know it's so hard right now. You will be so proud of yourself as you see your little baby thrive after his rough start!

Congratulations!
L.

PS outside of having a volunteer come to your home, you can also check out their website, llli.org to ask questions or see answers to similar questions from other moms.

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W.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi P.,
Wow!! You have your hands full! But in a good way, right? :) I would keep trying if I were you. I think it's normal for newborns to fall asleep, and the goal is to keep wakin them up! About the latching, it sounds like he is getting a good latch and then giving up. If he gets a good latch, maybe he will eventually get it. However, if he does not take to breastfeeding, I would not pump and bottle feed for long because, like you said, it's double duty. If you don't mind taking the extra time to do that, that's different. Otherwise, formula is great and he'll be just fine! Try not to stress too much! Easier said than done, right? Good luck, I'll be interested to see what happens!

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D.

answers from Shreveport on

Keep doing what you're doing as long as you can. I had a similar situation, but was also having to give formula. What I did was switch the baby from breast to breast every feeding because of the sleepy issue. Sometimes I did it two to three times. Put the baby on the breast as often as possible and keep skin to skin contact as much as possible. Always breastfeed before giving the bottle. It was a really tough road, but my baby is finally exclusively breastfed at the breast (it happened at 4 months). But, it got easier each week. I also set small goals. I tried eliminating all bottles all at once and that was a nightmare! Go slowly, one bottle at a time or my LLL suggested taking away an ounce from one bottle at a time.

You can do it! This is all normal, and many many women have been through it ( I found out while I was crying and feeling alone in our breastfeeding struggles). Get support, try calling your Le Leche League in your area or look it up online.

I hope you do well, and congratulations on all your blessings!

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D.B.

answers from Dothan on

My daughter lost a whole pound the first week of her life because while I was recovering from the C-section, the nurses were feeding her formula. When they would finally bring her to me for feeding, she wasn't hungry; she was sleepy. Like your baby, she just wouldn't latch on, or if she did, it was just for a few seconds at a time. I could hardly wake her to get her to even try the breast. I came to see that she preferred sleeping to eating, and if she had to eat, nursing required more effort than the bottle, and she preferred the bottle. I was determined to nurse her as I had her brother (very successfully), but just before I was wheeled out of the hospital to go home, a pediatrician looked at her weight on the chart (which had dropped from 8 lbs. 9 oz. to 7 lbs. 9 oz.) and shouted at me that my baby was starving because I wasn't nursing her properly. He said, "Get this baby on formula if you can't do better!" I was crushed. I continued to try but wound up nursing her about once a day for three months and using formula for the other feedings. She just wouldn't cooperate further than that. Now I wonder, given her addiction to Coca-Cola, if I shouldn't have pumped the milk and added some corn syrup to sweeten it! Maybe then it would have been worth her trouble. I wish you luck. I wish I hadn't given up so soon.

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C.I.

answers from Fort Smith on

Wow, I know that has to be difficult. I definitely would try to find some lactation support. When I had my first child, she was a terrible nurser. With the help of a fantastic nurse, I would pump a little and put it into a syringe thing with a short tube on the end rather than a needle. I would then get her to suck and give her some instant gratification by sliding the tube into the side of her mouth and squirting. That seemed to help to get her going. I had to do it for five days until she got better. At the time, it was the longest 5 days of my life, but now it is a distant memory. Also, breast fed babies vary GREATLY on the amount of time they nurse. My first child was 5 lbs 15 oz and would only nurse for about a total of 10 minutes. I was in tears and sure that I was starving her. My Mom (who had nursed 4 babies) read aloud from the le leche book that some babies are just more effecient nursers and sure enough, at her 2 week check up she was already 6 lbs 6 oz. God bless!

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J.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

definitely breastfeed!!! as far as not latching on - try nipple shields (target or baby depot has them for cheap). with my first that is the only way she would breastfeed, and with my 6 month old now she used those for a few months until one day i slipped it off and she latched on no problem and we ditched the shields. as far as falling asleep - that is normal. it takes more energy for him to breastfeed and so he falls asleep (plus he loves being snuggled up next to his favorite person and he goes right to sleep). do not (i repeat do not) wake him up to feed him. he is getting what he needs even from the few minutes of eating. if you are getting overfull then pump and freeze the milk for later, but he's still so little - his stomach is the size of his fist - a little bit will do. hope this helps!

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M.W.

answers from Tulsa on

I understand some of what your going through. My son was born at 30 wks and spent 6wks in the NICU. My son would have trouble latching too, the LC that helped me gave me a breast shield. You can get them at Babies r us and target, i think. That really helped, and then i was able to eventually ween him off that and nurse without any help. I would also call the hospital your son was in the NICU at and see if you can go back for some outpatient lactation cosulting. We were at St. Francis and used Tina Smith who is amazing. As for him falling asleep, try vigorously rubbing his back and talking to him. If you can't get him to wake up, let him sleep, when he wakes up get him good and awake. Change his diaper using a wipe, change his clothes even, and then try again. Don't give up and good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Enid on

my son was also in the nicu for 7 days after he was delivered I as well had to leave it to the hospital to feed him.. I was lucky they (the nurses) helped me to get him started breastfeeding and was able to for about 6 1/2 months. any way enough about me just keep trying there is nothing that says you can't give him a bottle when he won't nurse just pump ahead of time and tell your husband to use those bottles and check the nipples on your bottles they should look a little like your nipple. If that does not work talk to the doctor.

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A.M.

answers from New Orleans on

Call La Leche League. Google thier 1-800 number. Also find anither hospital in your area w/ a good lactation center and go there. I had premie twins that learned to nurse. I would offer both breast and bottle. My babies were able to go and forth. They were mostly bottle fed for 7 weeks in the NiCU(well they had feeding tubes for they first 2-3 weeks). Do your best but it's not the end of the world if he won't nurse.

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J.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Wow, you have your hands full with 3 little ones. Please, please got to http://www.llli.org/ for more info and find a volunteer lactation consultant to come to your house and help you get on the right track. I do not want you to miss this opportunity. Breastfeeding is such a wonderful bonding experience. They can help! Keep trying, he will get it and once he does he will definitely prefer mom over bottle. Good luck...now go check out that website!

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T.C.

answers from Little Rock on

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!! I have twins who were born perfectly heathy at 35 1/2 weeks, the were 6lbs and 5lbs 7oz. Because they were born early they were kept in the hospital for 5 days; the nurses had to be able to get an accurate measure of how much milk they were taking so I had to pump and then feed from a bottle. They day before they got to go home I was finally able to breastfeed; one of the boys latched on no problem, the other was a bit more reluctant. He would either not latch on or like you said suck a couple times and then let go or fall asleep. Your baby needs to build up his little jaw muscles, milk comes out of a bottle much easier then it comes out of your breast. Breast feeding is a bit more work for baby. What I did (and it did take a little while, it didn't just happen overnight) was I would get my miilk flowing before I offered my breast, while this is pretty messy it seemed to help. Also I would knead my breast while he was feeding (like puppies do) this helps stimulate your milk and when babies are so little they sometimes don't have the strength in their little hands to do this themselves. Most important, DON'T GIVE UP! A premie baby more than any needs the extra protection mother's milk gives them. Try not to get too discouraged you will both get the hang of it soon. God Bless.

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B.S.

answers from New Orleans on

Congratulation on your new baby!!
I had the same problem with my baby boy he is 10mon old now and still nursing. Try putting milk on your breast from a bottle before and while he is nursing (very messy) you may need help with this. This will help the baby think the milk is coming out easily. It will take time but please don’t give up just be patient it will all work out I have been there. Good luck.

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S.W.

answers from Jackson on

You may want to check with the hospital where you delivered and see if their lactation consultants are better. You delivered there even if your son wasn't hospitalized there, so the services would still be offered as long as you are breastfeeding. Hang-in there!

S.

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A.B.

answers from Lafayette on

P.,
I know pumping and feeding is double work, but he may be tiring out on the breast. At least nippling him with bottled breast milk you will be better able to acertain how well he is eating.....you don't want him to burn up all those precious calories trying to eat instead of growing. Bless your heart.....a toddler and essentially 2 newborns. You might try getting some help for a few days so you can pump without interruption to build up a stock of breast milk and refrigerate it. Then try getting the children on the same nap schedule feeding one, then putting him down to nap and you could then relax and pump awhile.
God bless you and the tribe,
A.

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A.T.

answers from Baton Rouge on

First, congratulations on your new baby! It is wonderful when a preemie gets to come home. I am an RN, and have been breastfeeding my little one for 20 months now. We had some rough patches, and I have since made it my mission to research everything about lactation.
From what is sounds like, there is some nipple preference going on. The bottles tend to just drip and the breast takes a little bit of work. The first item of business is usually to get rid of the bottle and replace with a supplemental nursing system (SNS). The SNS has a resevoir to hold pumped milk, and small tubes that align with your nipples. So the baby who is used to bottle feeding can start to realize that the breast is a good food source.
Another tip to get the milk flowing is to place a warm washcloth over your breast a few minutes before nursing. This will prime the breast and allow for a letdown to happen earlier, so baby doesn't become disinterested. You can also help baby to latch on by making a "boob sandwich." Basically, you hold your breast under the areola and compress it. Holding baby with one arm and breast with another, bring your nipple over baby's nose and upper lip to stimulate baby to open wide. Once that mouth is opened wide, insert nipple. When the latched on baby starts to get sleepy, you can use breast compression to get some milk in the tummy and help baby stay awake.
Copy and paste this link in your browser for instructions on this technique: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html
Breast compression is a little bit down on the page, but that page is chock full of ways to get baby on the breast. Kellymom is a wonderful resource.
Another great resource is La Leche League. There are meetings locally in Baton Rouge as well as Mandeville (it's a bit farther, but one of my good friends is a leader down there). They have a toll free help line, and the leaders can also provide in person support and advice. I highly recommend them, here is a link to find a meeting that would suit you:
http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html
The leaders post numbers on how to reach them if you need help before the meeting time comes around.
I am so encouraged to hear that you are committed to breastfeeding your baby. Especially for preemies, breastmilk provides perfect nutrition and the immunity protection is second to none. I completely understand how frustrating it can be to get things going, but I know that you can most definitely do it!
p.s. I would like to offer a caveat on nipple shields: baby will also need to be weaned off of those, and they can result in decreased supply as the breast is not getting as much stimulation during nursing. They're one of those things that should only be used when working with a breastfeeding expert like a LLL leader or a qualified LC.

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D.P.

answers from Biloxi on

I have had 7 children and one who was in the nicu for a week(longetst week of my life!!!) My suggestion is if you want to nurse then just keep at it. Don't give in to the bottle. He is just like every other newborn when you say he wants to fall asleep at the breast. You have to work at waking them up. Nursing is harder than a bottle and newborns just don't like having to work at it. If you are persistant and don't give in with a bottle then you will get through it and he will eventually nurse. Keep him a little cool, unwrap his diaper, tickle his back and feet, things like this to get him awake enough to nurse. Hang in there. Nursing is worth the effort.

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

We too had a rocky start with our baby boy and he was started on a bottle in the hospital. I had full intentions of breast feeding but he wouldn't nurse long enough or hard enough to get the nourishment that I knew he needed. Long story short, it was to his benefit to continue with a bottle since he would drink and drink and would be so full, fat and content. I would have moved the moon to do whatever was best for him. I was sad and disappointed about the breast feeding not working, but it was the best thing at that time for him to have the bottle that he had become used to. I thanked God that he pulled through his rough start. This feeding problem was very minor in the big picture. Our bonding was wonderful - that all takes place regardless of how you feed them. It's all in the total care giving they need.

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A.T.

answers from Tulsa on

Have you tried using a nipple shield? It might make the transition to the breast a little easier for your son. My son was in the NICU also, so he received several bottle feedings when I couldn't be there. I think the nipple shield helped him adjust to the breast.

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A.S.

answers from Huntsville on

I am so happy that everyone is home now! Congratulations on your little surprise miracle.

My son was also in the NICU after he was born (for about a week). He was also tube/bottle fed during his stay. I couldn't get him to latch at all the final two days he was there. As we were leaving the hospital, one of the NICU nurses gave me a nipple shield and it was like a miracle. He latched right on and we didn't look back. We used it for about 2 months or so. Is your son's mouth small? That was my son's problem.

Falling asleep after latching... I had a friend and a doctor both tell me to get a damp cloth and just blot his face/neck and that would wake him enough to continue nursing. I don't think I ever tried it but it supposedly works really well.

Good luck!

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A.D.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

P., HANG in there! My first born was in the NICU 3 weeks. She was born 6 weeks early and was also tube and bottle fed while in the NICU. What I discovered is that she simply wasn't strong enough to nurse until around her due date. For 6 weeks I had to pump, wash pump parts, make bottles, feed, wash bottles, and then start all over again. YOU can do this, if you have support. I would suggest seeing if a friend or family member can help with your other children. Also get the name and # for some sort of lacation support (even if its only over the phone - maybe even another Mom that has been through this that could give you support). Everyone but the lactation consultant and my husband told me to quit, but that just fueled the fire to keep trying for me. If I can do it, I know you can. By the way, when my daughter FINALLY started to nurse using a nipple shield helped - she was used to that artificial nipple. I'd then just slip it off and latch her on to my nipple until she got the hang of it. Congratulations on the birth of your son and Good Luck!

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A.P.

answers from Birmingham on

All good ideas so far, just wanted to add one resource for you. http://www.kellymom.com/index.html

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A.K.

answers from Tulsa on

OH PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!! I went through the same thing with my first 2 babies. My first son was in NICU for 6 days and was fed my milk by bottle, but when he got home wouldn't take my breast. So I did "double-duty" until I got burned out then quit altogether. I regretted it for so long. Then with my daughter(in NICU for 8 days) I actually got some good help and refused her a bottle once home. The first couple of days were bad cuz she'd be fussy every 30min-1hr cuz she didn't want me. She wanted a bottle. But I stuck it out and after a few days, she figured it out. When she got hungry enough, she ate. She was 100% breast by 2 weeks and by the time she was 1 month old, I couldn't force a bottle in her mouth. You guys will both get there. Just don't give up!
Congratulations on both of your new additions! I know you must be exhausted but WOW what a blessing!!

A.

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G.F.

answers from Tulsa on

I had a c-section, but no problems with my daughter physically. She didn't want to latch on the first couple of days and the nurses disolved a small amount of sugar and we put a little on my nipple and never had another problem. You might try that to see if you have the same results. You might also want to use the playtex nursers since the nipples are fairly close to the shape of your own and see if that helps. Good luck
G.

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S.C.

answers from Little Rock on

First of all, congrats on your TWO new blessings! How wonderful for you and your family. I hear so many adoption stories like yours :)

I have a two month old and we had some similar problems with sleeping and staying latched on. She dropped a lot of weight, so we were syringe feeding as well and I think she just got lazy & even though syringe feeding is supposed to keep them from getting confused I think it still was easier than the breast and she got used to that. I ordered these bottles from Target called Breastflow. They are designed to operate just like the breast and they made a huge difference for us. I used them instead of syringe feeding and it helped to improve her latch. Of course the sleeping was just something we had to work on over and over again and as she got older she was able to stay awake and eat better. But, I highly recommend these bottles because they did wonders for us! The link is below:

http://www.target.com/The-First-Years-Breastflow-Complete...

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T.J.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sorry about your son having to be in the NICU but glad he's home now and doing well. My 3rd was born at 36 weeks because of pre-eclampsia and was just 5 lbs and jaundiced & had to stay longer in the hospital under bili lights.

She had to have 30 CC bottles every 2 hours while there so they could know exactly how much she was getting. I was able to nurse her too but since bottles are SO much easier for them they don't like to have to "work harder" to get the milk straight from the boob.

I would just keep trying to nurse him and offer bottle only as a last resort. If he falls asleep, undress him a little and tickle his cheek. You could also pump a little first - just enough to get your let down going so he won't have to wrok as hard when he starts.

You probably won't be able to keep up your supply for long just pumping and like you said - finding the time with 2 other little ones is tough. My oldest turned 4 the month before my 3rd was born so I totally understand that!!

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D.P.

answers from Tulsa on

Did the NICU not have a lactation specialist? My oldest son was born 6 weeks early and satyed in NICU for 16 days. The lactation nurse there was AWESOME... she wouldn't let me give up no matter how long it took for him to get the hang of it. He did nurse for longer amount of time because his jaws were weaker. Also... ask your OB or midwife or even the ped. I'm sure they know someone who can help. Hang in there!

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J.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi P., keep after it, he will eventually get it. If you can, try to squeeze some milk out onto his lips to help encourage him. Once he actually tastes the milk, it should help him to figure it out. Always offer breast before bottle, and try to be consistant with it (as much breast as possible until he's comfortable with it). He's just not yet use to something the size of his head coming at him :} Dont dispair, and dont let the docs tell you you shouldn't do it...

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C.D.

answers from Oklahoma City on

talk to a specialist for infants immediately and set up an appt. it may be possible this baby cant hold much at a time. his intestants may have some problems. it could be anything. but i think he needs to see a specialist immediately and his regular doctor also. i will pray for him. happy holidays to you and family, C.

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K.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi P.,

I have 2 children and am over due now with our 3rd. Even my first 2 that were also full term would fall asleep at the breast and not take the breast for long in the beginning. A lactation consultant told me to get a damp cloth and just blot the babies face to wake the baby.

You could also try calling a lacation consulant at a different hospital in your area for advice. I did that with my first child and they were happy to help or contant lacation support at the hospital where you delivered and see if you can get an appointment. Where I delivered in Oklahoma City, it was free or contact the La Leche League in your area.

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L.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi P.. Congrats on your baby coming home! It feels wonderful! Both my sons were born at 34w due to pre-eclampsia. My first son stayed in NICU for 9 days. He didn't take to the breast either. I just pumped until he was 11 months. I can understand your frustration, especially w/ other children to care for. Keep offering the breast. He'll take to it before you know it! Like a PP said, KellyMom is a wonderful resource. My second son was in NICU for 7 days and he did take to the breast but he fell asleep soon after a few sucks too. I was so worried he wasn't getting enough to eat but remember, after NICU and coming home, he is still "recovering." Pretty soon he will be up and at 'em! If I remember correctly, I think it was like, 2 weeks after coming home that he really started to eat more often and I thought, OMG is this going to end? LOL. It will get better I promise!!!

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