Night Terrors---- HELP Please!!!

Updated on January 10, 2012
L.F. asks from Petaluma, CA
13 answers

Hi Ladies,

I am in desperate need of some relief for my sweet,loving two and a half year old son. (and our family---especially me. :)) My son has been waking up every 15 min or so for the last few weeks with night terrors. There is nothing I can do to console him other than singing, rocking, and talking to him/agreeing with all of things he says etc. He isn't able to wake up enough to calm down and he is starting this waking every night about 9pm through 4 or 5 in the morning!!! I have changed his bedtime in the past to combat this issue and it seemed to help for awhile because we didn't have them for about a year. Now, it is back with full force and I have switched his bedtime again--with the hope of him sleeping through the roughest period of time (per advice from doctor). But...I haven't seen any relief yet. Does anyone have any helpful experience/advice etc. for us??? It is heartbreaking to watch him go through this nightmare every night and not be able to stop it. I am also losing my normal patience side during the day with all the lack of sleep(+ being 6 1/2 months pregnant!).

Please help with any advice, stories, ideas etc. I am up to try anything legal and safe-lol

Thank you,

M

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Have you tried NOT touching him? a lot of times that sets them off a LOT worse.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

This has to stop immediately before you both drop from exhaustion. My son had this but he woke, every night at 2 SCREAMING at our bedside. Night terrors are strange aren't they? I ended up sleeping at his bedside for quite a while. We had our own little nighttime rituals and held hands as he went to sleep. Within 2 weeks, he stopped waking. The tougher part was "undoing" his extreme dependence on me at bedtime. I had to do something though, that 2 a.m. wake up call was killing us. I would do this immediately, you are close to giving birth and have to have this rectified.
Anyway, this is what worked for us. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My (now almost eight-year-old son) had night terrors for years. We began to notice a pattern - they seemed to happen most consistently when he was wearing this one especially warm set of footy zip-up pajamas that didn't breathe particularly well (some really soft fabric that wasn't cotton). After that, we noticed that he would have night terrors far more frequently whenever he was overheated. If we unzipped his pajamas or changed them, he would tend to settle down quickly and sleep much better. Perhaps try cooling down his room or opening a window a bit for fresh air if it's not open already? Perhaps that's why it helped some responders to take their child outside? It may be worth trying in case your experience is similar to ours.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

without time to read answers, what worked for us was going outside, even in the cold. My husband suggested it and it worked. I suspected he was hungry, but still not sure if that was it.

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

That doesn't sound like night terrors. With night terrors all you can do is keep them from hurting themselves. If you are able to console him at all it is another sleep issue. Which is actually good news because most other sleep issues can be managed when identified.

Ask your pediatrician to recommend a sleep specialist.

My son went through night terrors for a year. I consulted specialists, there is nothing you can do to stop a night terror, there is nothing you can do to wake up someone who is having a night terror. You say your interaction is helping so it is not a night terror.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

You actually can prevent a night terror. They do happen at a predictable time, for my son it was 1 hr 15 min after falling asleep. So I would gently wake him after an hour-- enough so that he was looking at me and speaking (hi mama, ok, good night). It seemed to reset his brain enough that a terror would be averted.

Watch his timing, and if it doesn't happen at the same time each time, then it's probably not a true night terror.

There have been lots of discussions on this board about night terrors, so do a search up top. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Medford on

I wouldnt think every 15 minutes is a night terror. And I dont think you can wake them up until they are done with a terror so it might be something else.
Some suggestions I have heard before are:
Make sure he has a nap everyday. being over tired seems to contribute to night terrors.
Check him for worms. Really. If theres a chance he has worms and they aggrivate and irritate at night and stop him from sleeping soundly.
Look back and see if he has had any food changes, or medicines or vitamin changes. He may be allergic to dye in them causing irritation to his intestines, brain, stomach. (liquid tylenol is bright red,,the dye can be a problem)
And if it truely is night terrors, theres a very good chance he doesnt remember them when he wakes up so if nothing else, it can relieve you of some guilt and worry knowing it isnt hurting him or really scaring him. Its making you miserable missing so much sleep, but HE isnt really hurting.
I know how night terrors can be so scary for parents. Our son had them for a short time. MRSLOLA's discription of her daughter is pretty much how our son was. Amazingly scary what they find terror in. He was afraid of the light flashing in his room as HE stood there flipping the light switch up and down! Screaming for mommy while I am right there trying to hold him and yelling that "MOMMY IS RIGHT HERE!!" Suddenly he would just stop and sort of melt into my lap and then wake up and look around and ask us whats going on?, why are we there?. He never had any memory or lasting effects for the terror. We would just sit there in shock that it could be over and not even bother him. We'd get up off his bed and walk back to our room shaking our heads in disbelief..lol
So check out some of these things and see if it really is night terrors. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Denver on

Our oldest had night terrors for about 2 years.... Mainly when overly tired and out of his routine. We visited a specialist and really there is nothing to be done except make sure the child doesn't get hurt. The only thing the specialist said seemed to work with SOME children was getting them to drink their favorite beverage. We never had any luck with this because my son was terrified of us and trying to get away during his terrors. It was like He was posessed! Very upsetting and bizarre. Sometimes he would do better if we didn't go in at all.... You could tell by his cry if he was awake or not. If a terror started he would sometimes work through it alone before it became full blown.... So maybe don't go in right away (as long as he is safe).... Since they don't recognize you during a terror it isn't like you are doing much comforting when you go in. Our son would look directly at me like I was a three headed monster and scream for me with every ounce of energy he had.

Good news is they outgrow it.... Although often these kids go through sleep walking phases next. Ours did a few times but at 5 he has really outgrown all his sleep problems!

I do agree that you might want to check with another doctor- specifically a ped. Sleep specialist. Our pediatrition was little help with this.

Updated

Our oldest had night terrors for about 2 years.... Mainly when overly tired and out of his routine. We visited a specialist and really there is nothing to be done except make sure the child doesn't get hurt. The only thing the specialist said seemed to work with SOME children was getting them to drink their favorite beverage. We never had any luck with this because my son was terrified of us and trying to get away during his terrors. It was like He was posessed! Very upsetting and bizarre. Sometimes he would do better if we didn't go in at all.... You could tell by his cry if he was awake or not. If a terror started he would sometimes work through it alone before it became full blown.... So maybe don't go in right away (as long as he is safe).... Since they don't recognize you during a terror it isn't like you are doing much comforting when you go in. Our son would look directly at me like I was a three headed monster and scream for me with every ounce of energy he had.

Good news is they outgrow it.... Although often these kids go through sleep walking phases next. Ours did a few times but at 5 he has really outgrown all his sleep problems!

I do agree that you might want to check with another doctor- specifically a ped. Sleep specialist. Our pediatrition was little help with this.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

Every 15 min.?!! You must be exhausted. I think he may be too, if he's not getting a good night sleep because of it. Night terrors are often triggered in children who are overtired. So maybe it's a cycle. Does he still nap during the day?

Here is some information I found that might be helpful:

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm

http://children.webmd.com/guide/night-terrors

HTH :)

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

Our older daughter had night terrors and then she did a fear of shadows thing. Feel free to ignore the second part, but I think I'll tell you how we coped with both, in case yours might not be pure night terrors.

Night terrors: I can't find my source right now but I read several sources when ours first started that said kids that could described the sensation as being trapped. This is why you'll hear DON'T TOUCH HIM. It's awful just to watch but if he's already trying to "escape" the trapped sensation, holding on to him will make it worse. I kept busy during those times by checking that my kiddo's room was safe for her. A theory I read indicated that night terrors could be caused by a physiological need. Kids that are becoming aware of their bladders, for example, might start having them. When ours started, after reading that theory, we started talking about potty training. Coincidentally or not, the terrors quickly subsided. If they start at the same time, the other tactic was to wake the baby up 30 min to an hour before hand and, basically, tuck him back in. This was also helpful.

Fear: Our daughter a few weeks ago woke up screaming. Hysterically. When we went inside, she grabbed my husband and climbed. Screaming. And shaking. It was horrible. Actually worse than night terrors. We could get her calmed down and she would start to look around and start screaming all over again. We did this for 2 1/2 hours until all three of us passed out exhausted on her bedroom floor. The next morning, she was still scared of shadows. All day. We took all the "shapes" out of her room, piles of toys, any books, we took out her bed and put the mattress on the floor, handed her a flashlight, and bought her a mini-lamp that now stays on all night. It got better, but didn't go away. A friend sent me this great article on a different approach. Instead of addressing the fear by trying to show her she was safe, we asked her what she was feeling. "How does your tummy feel?" "Is your head relaxed and ready for bed?" Eventually through this approach we realized the TEXTURE on the walls was scaring her. The bumps caught her attention and they were rough on her hands (the body part that led us to the conclusion). We explained how the bumps were made and showed her that they were present in the rest of the house. Once her actual, specific fear was addressed she went to sleep just fine.

BOTH: MAINTAIN YOUR ROUTINE!!! I know it is hard when your baby is upset, but your baby will be helped by knowing that most everything is business as usual, even while they are experiencing an extraordinary sensation. I'm talking about not letting yourself get nervous or babble on (like we did initially) about how safe he is right at bedtime. One night, my little girl ended up going back to sleep after I explained that Mommy was tired too and she had everything she needed if she had any questions. She was asleep before her door closed. Oh, my baby is 29 months old.

Fear comes when imagination does, so it is not a bad thing, but the baby needs to learn to cope with it. That's the hard part. I found everything easier to deal with once I started celebrating how vivid her imagination was. Also, once I splurged on some really good coffee for Daddy and myself.

If you can, try to be somewhat matter-of-fact about the situation. Once we adopted that attitude, my daughter's fear became background noise within a week. She still asks questions "the bumps are hard" or "will you leave the light on" but now she knows the answers so we go right to sleep. We also made turning on her mini-lamp (we did the little plastic lamp from Ikea) her job. It comes on at bedtime and off in the mornings and she is the one that has to do it. She loves it.

Good luck. Night terrors were a part of our pregnant and immediately postpartum life and they aren't fun at all. Try to focus less on the cause and more on how your baby is experiencing the situation. It's a subtle but powerful shift.

1 mom found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

Are you sure it's night terrors? I remember reading that they usually happen at exactly the same time each night. To stop the cycle, wake baby before it would happen so that they won't be sleeping at that time. What you are describing is very different. You should take him to the doctor and see if something physical is bothering him.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Redding on

I didnt have time to read all the answers...but I saw this issue on "The Dr's" recently. They said to do the following:

1. NEVER wake them....let it finish, then console. If you wake the child they are more confused than if you just let it finish naturally.
2. Have a good bedtime routine....time EXACTLY when he is having the first one each night.
3. Wake him 5-15 mins. before the first one....like get him up and out of bed, go to bathroom, get a drink of water etc. Make sure he is FULLY awake. Then put him back to bed.
4. Do this for 7 nights straight. If he continues to have them after this, try another 7 days.

They swore this would work....sorry you are going through this! Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Does your son have any breathing issues? My son had occasional asthma and what turned out to be a form sleep apnea. When we got his adenoids removed and tubes in his ears his nightly night terrors ended. But I do mostly agree with others that your son's pattern does not sound like a true terror. Good luck in resolving your problem, sleep is too important.

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