No RSVP Is There Any Nice Way to Call and See If They Are Coming

Updated on July 23, 2010
V.M. asks from Conneaut, OH
16 answers

I didn't invite many kids, and with it being summer, i'm worried the inviteto my son's party i sent his friend might have gotten put aside before a vac or something, SO i want to call the mom and just remind her about it, but we have no relationship, the only time i called her or even spoke to her was to rsvp for her son's party last month. Is there any nice way to phrase it or is it just super tacky, the boys are good freinds, and i think her son would be sad to have misssed it if it was just a mistake, but ..... would you call and what whould you say??

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So What Happened?

the best chance i had to call today was at 12:30 i know she has a younger child too, As i could hear it wailing in the background, probably not the best time icoudl have picked.. She was a little snappy with me at first and then i think was trying to cover it, but my call waiting beeped in and i only caught half of her excuses. But either way he is coming and that makes 7 kids which is perfect and now ifeel much more settled about it. IF this had been a good friend or someone i knew better i probably woudn't have hesitated at all.
SO sad to hear all the NO RSVP stories, if you are one of those out there, please just take 2 seconds and call!!!

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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Just tell them you just wanted to touch base with them and see if they got the invite. There's no harm in doing that.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Actually, according to Miss Manners, calling is what you are supposed to do if someone doesn't RSVP. It isn't tacky at all (what is tacky is not bothering to RSVP). Just be super nice and friendly!

1 mom found this helpful

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

We hardly got any RSVP's for my daughters birthday so I emailed, called, or texted the moms. Turns out the invites never made it home!! So I was glad I did!! I think it's okay to call and just see.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

"Hey there. I didn't get an RSVP, so I wanted to be sure you received the invitation for my son's birthday."

This will usually result in an apology and an immediate RSVP.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Just call or email.. In the future consider also using evite.com.
I do special events and have found, for some reason people respond to evites better than paper invitations..

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from New York on

just call, but get used to it, many people didnt rsvp for me. i think most people think you have to rsvp only if you are coming, and i think some actually think only if you are not. i do think by including your email though, you get more responses sooner. it just seems people have no problem sending an email in comparison to calling.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My biggest pet peeve is people who don't rsvp. we had my husbands 50th party last sunday. 22 people rsvp'd they would be coming. 70 showed up. party was great and I planned enough food for an army so it was ok but really. this was adults and it very clearly stated on the invite to rsvp. drives me nuts. but back to your party lol. I would call the mom and say I was just making your plans for food and cake and trying to get a number down. she will say yes or no.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, manners and common courtesy have gone away for many. It's sad. However, not in my family, we still hand write thank you notes and always RSVP.

We throw a lot of parties, some of which are pretty big and involve nailing down a firm number of people and being required to pay up to $25 per person.

Before I lock in my #, I call and/or email the people sho did not respond. Most of the time, they realize how rude it is to not RSVP.

Keep in mind, some people will RSVP yes and be a no show and some who said no will show up.

Go ahead and call, and I hope your party is successful.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

I don't find it tacky at all to call a parent about a party. Many parents aren't "friends" but doesn't mean they're enemies either. They're just strangers but their kids play together. Call and remind the parents about the party and ask if they recieved the invite and if their son is able to come. Let them know some things you have planned and tell them how your son is looking forward to their son coming. Just keep it all up beat like you would for anyone else. You'll get your answer and have a great party!

I think it's rude not to reply to an invitation especially if an RSVP was requested. I always specifically ask them to reply if they are or are NOT going to make it, then follow up with needing a head count for party supplies or treats. This usually prompts more parents to call with a yes or no. So, don't feel like you're the bad one in this situation. They should have let you know.

K. B
mom to 5 kids including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

1 mom found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

gaaahhh...I hate it when people don't RSVP!! My son's birthday party is also in the summer,and last year I had to phone all TEN people that he invited. Here's what I said..."Hey, this is Elijah's mom. How are you? We sent out invitations a couple of weeks ago to Elijah's party this weekend and haven't heard back from anyone! I know it's summer,so maybe it got lost. I am trying to figure out how much food I need to have for the kids, so was wondering if your son would be joining us this Saturday?" 6 kids showed up. We just sent out invitations last week for his party in mid August, so am gearing up to make phone calls again in a couple of weeks. :)
Good luck!
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

If your son would miss having him, then call the M. and say "Hi M., I am trying to get a count on how many will attend my son's party, I am just calling to see if you will be able to make it. My son would love to have your son at the party" and leave it like that. If she didn't want to come, then you know, if she lost the card or forgot to send it back, then you reminded her

1 mom found this helpful
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C.E.

answers from Denver on

I would call. I would say I was following up with everyone that we sent an invite to and trying to get an accurate count for the party. I don't think it's tacky or bad etiquette.

Most likely, she'll be glad you reminded her - whether or not her son can go!

Good luck!
C.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

I had 4 kids that didn't rsvp show up. I assumed they wern't coming~ I guess I come from the manners side of things and was shocked they showed up without rsvps. I didn't have enough favors. (I had planned on maybe one extra, not 4!) Always be ready for the unexpected if you don't call. Lesson learned for me!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

I would call and ask her if she received the invite. Thats all. If you handed her the invite then I would still call and see if she had forgotten. It happens.

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B.W.

answers from Seattle on

I agree with the suggestion to use Evite. I find it the easiest. For some reason people are lazy and RSVP'ing to an Evite is faster and easier than calling! (Some people still don't respond, though....)

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, V.M.
Call! Words will come. Making it personal might be the open door to
become friends.
Good luck. D.

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