Ooops Baby

Updated on August 13, 2009
I.A. asks from Ontario, NY
48 answers

Hi Moms,
I am 10 weeks pregnant for the second time and my first baby just turned 1 last week.
I am having hard time dealing with this second pregnancy, I was so NOT prepared to go thru this agian so soon. I have not told anyone but my own mom, the first thing that she said was: "Honey, so soon?"
Has anyone had an OOOOPS baby?

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So What Happened?

THANK YOU MOMS FOR YOUR WONDERFUL RESPONSES! They made me feel a lot better, I am finding myself starting to think that I can handle this and look forward to having this baby!

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M.F.

answers from New York on

My second and third children are 13 months apart. It was not planned. I was so stunned at first. I remember feeling so guilty because I was not excited about being pregnant, like I had been with the other two. Then a friend of mine told me "that this baby was truly meant to be here". It was a tough at the beginning but now my girls are 10, 8 and 7 and will always have their best friend right next to them. Try to relax and enjoy it. You will see, it will all work out.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Not that I would consider my second an 'ooops' baby, but my son was only 8mons when we conceived. I was very overwhelmed by the thought of having two babies in the house. And to tell the truth, the first 6 wks were hard. But now, they're 2yrs and 9months and I see them trying to play with each other, and the little one trying to do everything her 'big' brother is doing, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Plus I think about how much I LOVE the little one and if I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did she would never have existed, that makes the hard days worth it. Just think, that little one growing inside of you is unique. He/She never existed before and will never exist again..isn't that just amazing!?! Good luck!!!!

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H.L.

answers from New York on

my friend went through the same thing except her first was only 8 months when she got pregnant and her italian mother was mad at her because she had had a c section with the first and she thought it was too soon for the healing process though she did face a lot of stres i can tell you that once the baby was there it all worked out perfectly she was and is a beautiful baby and a perfect playmate for her younger child most parents would agree that it seemed crazy at the time but down the road it definately works in their favor for having built in playmate and actually gives you more time to get things done when they are playing together good luck and remember it will get better!
From H.

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

I., CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! Ignore others' comments. An ooops baby is NEVER a mistake baby. They are surprise babies :) Anyways, My first two are a year and three weeks apart. My first was 4 months when I got pregnant with my second, which was a HUGE surprise, but they are close. They fight at times, but if they don't see each other like in church because they are in different rooms, they hug each other afterwards as if they hadn't seen each other in years!! Ha, ha, ha. That was difficult for me because my oldest was 12 and 13 months in a highchair with me feeding him while nursing my second child. But, I'll do it over again because they really play along and communicate to each other and they have each other and their other brother who is the third child and they are friends now. You will get negatives and stuff from others, but really is not their business. Announce that the joy has come into your lives and let's welcome this beautiful baby. Remember, God has plans for this baby and that is why He created this baby now not later. If you want to talk, need positive talks about it and questions you may have and no they are NOT stupid questions.....ask me and I'll reply. Enjoy this pregnancy and look at it as a HUGE and blessing Gift from Jesus!! Let me know if you want to talk or hold unto this if in the future you want to talk :) God bless you and your family and again CONGRATULATIONS.

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N.H.

answers from New York on

Hello I.,
I'm sure you will be getting alot of responses on this one!
I, myself, have 4 children, only 1 planned.
I got pregnant the first time about 3 months after high school graduation, by a man who told me that he was sterile! He had a bad attitude, and we fought alot, so we didn't last. I decided to raise the baby on my own, we just didn't get along.
After my first was about 8 months old, I decided to move in with a friend (my best friend's brother) who needed someone to help pay rent so he didn't lose his apartment. Of course, one thing led to another, and I was pregnant with my 2nd by the time my first was a year old --- just like you, but I never married.
My daughters are 20 months apart and grew up as best friends, until a couple months ago, when my oldest was preparing for college. Now they bicker alot.
When my girls were 7 and 9, I had my son. He was expected, but marriage was not the plan.
Then just before he turned 6, I gave birth to my 4th - and last, which was also an oops baby. But she is the light in my life.
I still have no real plans to marry, but her dad and I are considering it in the future - whatever that means! I have finally met a good guy - so far, and can't wait to see how this turns out.
I have never regretted having any of my children, even though it was financially difficult, we always had each other and that was all that mattered. We got by with very little, just the bare necessities and no extras - and we were happy.
I don't think your mom meant anything in a bad way when she made her remark, its only surprising sometimes, especially when it happens so quickly. First response!!
All children are blessings - even ooops babies! : )

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B.C.

answers from New York on

Trinia,
I got pregnant with my second when my first child was 23mths. I struggled with the idea of having a 2yr old and a baby. I always wanted three children but I wanted to wait until my oldest was three however she was coming no matter what I planned because she was conceived while I was on the pill. I can promise you I did not miss a day, I hadn't even had a period for five months prior to getting pregnant. I was completely surprised and miserable at first however it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Economically it worked out it, I have two daughters so basically the hand me down's have been a saving grace. I didn't need a new crib, new sheets, new stroller, and I still had a decent amount of clothes from my oldest daughter. Now that they are five and three it's really the greatest gift I could have asked for. They play with each other, they console each other, they care for each other. I am thankful that they have each other. Financially it's not easy. Private school tuition x2, summer-campx2, Christmasx2, activities geared towards each age group but I thank god that they are so close in age and have each other. It will be difficult at first, it will ease up and then it will get difficult again but it is so worth it I promise you. If I would have waited I think that I too would feel like I am out of the diaper, breast-feeding stage and not sure I would want to go back. What ever you decide and you do have a choice it's up to you. I can only share my experiences with you to help you make an informed decision, good luck.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Don't tell anyone that it's an oops baby. When they say 'oh so soon?' just say that you wanted your children close together.

I had 4 children in 5 1/2 yrs and it was exhausting but fun. They always had someone to play with that could basically do the same things just on a different skill level. Everyone could color, some just did a better job. Everyone could play with blocks, some just more elaborate structures.

My oldest daughter had her 2nd child when the first was 22 months old and her 3rd when the 2nd was 20 months old. Hectic household but again they can all play together so it's a lot of fun.

I know the experts tell you to space your children out 5-6 yrs but seriously what does a 6 yr old have in common with a newborn? Or a 10 yr old with a 5 yr old?

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Hi, I'm in the same situation, except a little bit further along :) I'm now 7 months with a totally unplanned baby, and my daughter will be 19 months when #2 is born. I was freaked out when I found out, and we have lots of cards stacked against us. however, now that i've been carrying this baby for a few months, i'm getting more used to the idea that i'll have 2 kids under 2!!! I'm still scared and freaked out, but i guess that's why pregnancies last 9 months to give you some time to prepare (mentally more than anything else).
so all i can say is that, you will be fine and everything will work itself out (at least that's what I hope for myself:) )
Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Congrats I.
I am thrilled for you. The kids will grow up close and enjoy each other.
My surprise baby turned out to be twins when I turned 40. Best thing that could have happened to us. The older kids were 14 & 19 yo.
God bless you and enjoy
Relax and make sure you get plenty of good nutrition.
K.

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

My "oops" baby is a bit different - my husband and i were praying and hoping so long for a beautiful baby... and nearly 3 years later we're now pregnant - with not ONE but TWO! We were definitely not hoping for twins, 2 at once will be a big adventure :)
God has a big sense of humor lol, but i feel that things always have worked out for us in the past, i mean we're here aren't we? we survived it all so far :)
I think it's going to be a huge blessing for you to have 2 children so near in age. It will definitely make them closer to eachother, they'll relate better and be at more of the same level.
Good luck! Enjoy your adventure :)

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Friends who have had their babies close in age seem to be very happy about the fact that they are so close in age that they play very nicely together and as you go through one stage and then get out of it - it's coming right around the corner again and this time you are better prepared.

I have a daughter who is a little over three and I am now struggling with whether or not I should get PG again (I'm 38, almost 39, so it's now or never). I just feel like my daughter is finally very manageable and do I really want to start all over again. I work FT and my husband is always working - it's a lot to handle.

So my point is that I don't think a lot of people are ready to have more - whether is too soon or too late :) But you're pregnant so just wrap your arms around it and try to enjoy it. Just be sure that you take care of your self both physically and mentally right now. You'll need some rest and "me" time. Take it if you can. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from New York on

I., i had 2 years, 2 miscarriages, and 2 fertility treatments before i had my first daughter at 34. i am a serious planner, so all that threw me for a loop. we planned to wait until lia was 4 to even start trying again, so we only had to pay for one in daycare at a time. a month after lia turned 2 last year, we took a vacation. when i tell you we had sex exactly once that week--and used protection--i am telling the truth. i had figured i would get my period and be done at the end of september before we flew to surprise my dad for his 60th. could not understand why i was so late. figured it was the no-carb diet i was on. long story short, i was pregnant!! my husband's response was "how'd that happen?". i just gave birth to ali michele may 29th. i was telling one of the sono techs at the perinatalogist, who said 'babies come when they are supposed to'. i think she's right.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

My daughter got pregnant when she was nursing and was so upset. Not to worry, her boys were very close almost like twins and are now teens and still close, with some fights in between. Dont pay attention to what people say. tell them you planned it so your kids would be better friends. Or you can simply say thats my business, not your.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Hi I.,

My best friend had a difficult first pregnancy and her doctor told her not to get pregnant for two years to let her body recover. Four months later, she found out she was two months pregnant. Ooops. It was a horrible pregnancy and she went in to labor at five month - and was in labor and the hospital for the next two months. Through it all, her husband was incredibly supportive and we kept joking that she shouldn't have worried so much about having my "surrogate" baby. I did everything I could to keep her sane. Her second daughter was born nine months and eight days after her first, and she weighed a mere 4 lbs. 1/2 oz. Today, Kati is my goddaughter - and is a beautiful 17-year-old. It was really h*** o* my best friend at first, but it has turned out to be such a blessing in her life. Find a best friend with whom you can share all your fears as well as your joys. I promise, it will get better!!!

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Honey...i've been pregnant three times - once ended in miscarriage and NONE were officially planned...

#1 - We wanted to start trying when we were married two years - our son was born two weeks before our 2nd wedding anniversary (we joke he got confused)

#2 - ended in a miscarriage unfortunately...he/she would have been born this month when my son was 3 1/2

#3 - pregnant now - again we wanted to start trying when our son was four....my husband actually told me tell me when you're ready (whenever i had bounced back from the miscarriage) and i was feeling ok and poof we're pregnant...

unfortunately people look at unplanned pregnancies as you are irresponsible....we just told me we had just started trying....

so not to worry - the kids will be great!

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J.S.

answers from New York on

Although I have not personally gone through this, I have a close friend who did. Her first daughter was exactly a year when she got pregnant, and she didn't find out until she was 9 weeks along. (I was jealous! If only I could skate through with no nausea like that.) Anyway, Her baby #2 & my baby #1 were due about 2 weeks apart, so I was elated...but she cried when she told me. She was scared in so many ways, and definitely had not been planning on having a second so soon.
Now that our kids are 8 months old (and born 4 days apart) she is much happier. She said it was definitely difficult to have the girls so close in age, but her older daughter easily welcomed the new baby into the family. While it's hard to get many concepts through to a younger toddler (being gentle, that baby needs more mommy time in the beginning) her husband helped a lot by making special time for the older daughter.
It's not an easy road, I think, but it's not impossible. No matter what you will love your second baby and come to a place where you know it's going to be ok. Honor your feelings of upset right now, but know they will come to an end. Try not to allow other people to make you feel badly about it, either. These things happen! My childhood best friends were 14 months apart, both full term. You will love your kids both equally & you all will be just fine.

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K.H.

answers from New York on

I have 2 ooops babies!!! My first (now 16) was a total surprise and I got pregnant with my last when my daughter was 6 months old. My kids are 16, 4 and 32 months. With both of my surprises, I panicked, but looking back now, I don't know why I did.

I don't know if you remember the show Roseanne. But 1 episode stuck in my head. Roseanne's kids tellthe youngest he was an "accident" and he gets upset. But Roseanne told him he was a "surprise" and he asked why. She responds by saying a surprise is when you get something that you didn't realize you really wanted.

My 2 youngest are 15mos apart and it was tough at first with 2 in diapers, but I'm glad I did it. They are the best of friends (and sometimes motal enemies lol)and all of them ae the joy in my life. You'll be fine and you get to fall in love all over again!!!

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C.H.

answers from New York on

Hi I.,

My third child was an "oops" baby. My husband and I had just had our discussion about if we wanted to try for number 3 and he stated that we were done with 2. Two weeks later I was feeling really sick and run down. Took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. Called the doctor immediately to make sure it was not a mistake. Then I had the worry of telling my husband that we were not finished. I was so nervous to tell him and everyone else. He actually was excited and even though I did get little comments from other people everything went well. It was the best labor ever, and she is the happiest baby I have ever seen.

"The family was Gods idea, and God does not make mistakes."

Just stay positive and enjoy each blessing as they come !
C.

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D.D.

answers from Binghamton on

Are we ever ready for what life throws at us?! Life happens! Who cares what anyones says. Moms always have a way of making us feel bad instead of supporting us...and Im sure what your mom said is weighing on you...Once you start telling others you will have plenty of support.
Well look at it this way...your 1 year old will be almost 2 when your new little one is born.
Don't fret...everything always works out in the end...I wish you the best of luck!

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R.M.

answers from New York on

Hello, I.!! I had the same exact thing happen to me!! My twins turned 1 and a week later I found out that I was already 8 weeks pregnant. It was very rough! I was very upset because I did not expect it / want it / or even know if I could handle it. It will be a little easier for you as it's only 2 little ones involved. I guess what I am trying to say is that you will be fine!! I was upset most of the pregnancy because I was very scared. I was also very upset when she was fist born because I was still scared (not to mention, the other 2 were already sleeping through the night and I had to start that over!). But honestly, even with the rough start, she actually turned out to be easier going than the other 2 and so much easier to take care of. The other 2 are picky eaters - I can give her anything... also because they are so close in age, she started talking earlier than they did, she does what they do.. I guess you can say she even seems older than she is because of them. So, do not worry. Your new little one will be much easier to take care of. You also, can not let what other people think bother you. Everyone is going to have the opinions or comments... don't let it get to you. I take my 3 girls out all the time and people are always staring, giggling, or saying something. It bothered me at first... now i just keep walking or I will even chuckle with them (that drives them nuts!).
I guess my point to this is that if I can do it with 3 you can do it with 2!! Best of luck to you!!! If you need any advice or just want to vent... I would be happy to listen!!!

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S.L.

answers from New York on

Hi I., I see you have plenty of responses, but just to be sure you overwhelm you with goodness I will add mine! Our son was 6 months old when I unexpectedly got pregnant with our second. It was a very dark and depressing time. We did tell people it was a suprise - warning them that breastfeeding as contraception is a total myth! Of course our daughter turned out to be the VERY BEST suprise of our lives. We now assure her that she is the baby God picked very specifically and specially for us. They are 19 and 20 yrs now and still extremely close and loving. They are truly each others best friends. Not going to kid you, it is pretty hard when they are both in diapers (and some after, but hang in there!). I hardly remember anything about my daughter being a toddler - partly because I was overwhelmed and partly because her brother was pretty darn naughty! Just recognize it is going to be a challenge and go to it every day knowing there is a great prize ahead - the happiness and healthiness of your children and deep/meaningful relationships with them and them with each other. Just don't expect yourself to be anything other that who you are - disappointed for now but open to encouragement (you did ask us!) Live and love the days you are given.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Babies are always a blessing, even if unexpected. Congratulations! My second was "planned" in the sense that two weeks after my husband suggested I stop taking birth control I found out I was pregnant. Our boys are 21 months apart and I love it!! It is great that your children will be so close in age. Enjoy!

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M.P.

answers from Albany on

I had an oops baby that we now call "God's unplanned blessing!" Kaden is currently 2 1/2 years old. His brother, Alex, was only 6 mos old when we found out we were pregnant with Kaden, so they are only 15 mos apart!! It certainly had its challenges, especially my negative attitude through the whole pregnancy, but now I am so glad that they are close....we are out of diapers almost all at once and they are GREAT friends! My advice is to make the most of your pregnancy and do NOT be negative... I have some major guilt feelings about that! Enjoy your children, no matter how close they are together - and remember, it could have been closer!!

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Hi I.:

Our oops baby turned out to be twins, very unplanned, very much at a crazy time in our lives and very much the light of each of my days.

I just wanted to wish you luck and a healthy pregnancy!

M.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

My first child was actually my "ooops baby". Reality is that you do need to prepare yourself b/c unfortunately people will make many comments like the one your mother did, but some may not be as gentle. People will have their opinions but all that matters is yours. No one is perfect and things like this happen. I guess being ashamed is a normal reaction but there is no need to dwell on an "oops!" rather see the blessing. What you need to do now is enjoy this pregnancy and focus on what lies ahead. Truth be told it will not be easy but you will manage. Don't let others opinions bring you to shame b/c we all have "oops" moments. Congratulations and have a wonderful pregnancy!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

My second wasn't exactly an oops, just a little sooner than planned. My son turned 2 and we decided to start trying for a second, expecting it would take a while since I was 37. But there I was pregnant on the first try barely a month later. I would have liked the 3-6 months I thought it would take (the first took 9 months of trying). Try not to worry if possible. I was a total stress ball (so much that I had severe insomnia for a lot of the pregnancy). Yes, line up as much help as you can for the first 6 weeks but keep in mind lots of other people have survived this roller coaster and you will too. My mom and my father in law helped us so much the first 2 months (I had a c-section get severely infected and the baby spent 3 weeks in the NICU). It was very hard the first 3 months but has been getting better. But I love my daughter so much it is all worth it. My 3 year old son is still on the fence but I think it will work out.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Ok so here goes, my son was an oops baby. I didn't know I was pregnant until I got to the hospital (because I was in labor). I only gained 7 lbs with him. I had started getting stomach pains on Monday night after work, didn't sleep, took off college on Tuesday, went to college on Wednesday had to ask my dad to pick me up, because I was miserable, he took me to the gastronoligist, and he said it felt like a tumor. He had ordered all sorts of tests for me for Thursday morning. Well Wednesday night it was my lil sister's DARE Graduation, the whole family went. My boyfriend at the time, (now husband) and my mom came home and saw the pain I was in, so they took me to the hospital.

I had worked at a doctor's office and the nurse from my office was the nurse on duty that night. She came in and saw how I was easing in and out of pain, she asked me if I was pregnant, I said no. She took my blood, a little while later she came in and told me I was pregnant. I was mortified, embarrased, scared. It was a true shock. The doctor came in to examine me and I was 8 1/2 cm dialated. They brought my mom and bf in the room and told them. My mom was strong for me b/c I was so scared. My bf almost passed out. They had to rush me to another hospital,they had to do an emergency c-section because he was stuck in my pelvic bone and at 5:49am on May 16, 2002, Michael was born.

2nd story...
I was very content with just my son Michael. My daughter Mikayla is 4 months old. I was on a diet and lost 22 lbs pregnant. Three weeks before I had her, I decided to jump in the shower, so Eddie joined me, we don't do that too often, he said to me that my stomach looked funky, was I feeling ok, I felt fine, so I blew it off. Once I was dressed, he told me that he thought I was pregnant, I told him he was nuts, but to appease him I made a dr. appt. for April 3rd. (So my appointment is for this Friday coming, on March 29th is when I started having all of the pain.) Okay so we were at McDonald's eating dinner and about 6pm, I had this funny feeling in my belly. At 7pm I got the same feeling just a little stronger, at 9:30 I was in a lot of pain, but still tolerable. At 10:30 I was sitting on the bed with my hands behind my back crying my eyes out, because I couldn't take the pain anymore, so I called my mom and asked her if we could bring Michael over so Eddie could take me to the hospital, she asked me what was wrong, and I told her that Eddie thought I was in labor. I told Eddie on the way to the hospital, that if he was right I didn't want another baby, so I would seriously want to consider adoption, god was i wrong.
He took me to the hospital, after an hour and a 1/2 of me screaming in the ER, they finally took me in to be seen...they gave me morphine, before they tested my blood. About an hour passed and they came in and tested my blood. A few minutes later the nurse came in and told me I was pregnant. Eddie was with me, sure enough he was right, (god I hate when he's right lol). The dr came in to check me out and I was 5 1/2 cm dialated. They took me up for an ultrasound and the tech, wouldn't do it, because he was afraid I was going to pop on the table. As Eddie walked down the hall towards me, he heard the dr say get her up to L&D immediately. Edie called my mom, so her and my sister came to the hospital. They got there at 3am, and at 3:05 the dr. came in and took me. Again I had to have a c-section. At 3:35am Mikayla was born. I had to go through all of the feelings of embarassment and post partum and everything else mixed in, again. Once I saw my princess I was hooked on her like glue.

I have two crazy yet amazing stories, but I have the most joyous feeling of having a prince and a princess, even though I wasn't ready for either one of them.

Hang in there, God will get you through it.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

it wasn't an oops, it was actually planned, but i gave birth to twins when my oldest was 14 months. you will be very very busy, but the up side is that your oldest won't feel as jealous about the new baby because he is still young and they will probably grow up to be very close and you have a built-in playmate. good luck!

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear I., My first 2 were 13 months apart. My third was born 15 months after the second. No,I was not working but the children were very happy and well adjusted. They were all babies at the same time. I learned back then that we do not make the plans, God does. Love your babies, they are a blessing. p.s.I WENT ON TO HAVE 2 MORE 16 MONTHS APART:-) I wish you well, Grandma Mary

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S.L.

answers from New York on

Hi I.,

My brother had a "oooops" "surprise" baby about a year and a half ago. I guess everyone had something to say at the time, as my nieces are 11months apart. But what a wonderful blessing they both are. It is great to see them grow together and form lasting memories together. So do not be too concerned about what people will say, cause someone will always have something to say, as long as you and your husband accept this pregnancy that is all that matters.
By the way I am an "oops" baby, my sister and I are 11months apart and believe me, I am sure my mom got alot of comments on that back then too.

God Bless you and your family:)

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S.H.

answers from New York on

why you say an ooops baby? babies are a blessing so what it happened so soon, but think on the bright side, they will grow up together and you could always get your tubes tied, if you dont want oops babies like you say. Nothing personal ok

God bless

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A.B.

answers from Rochester on

My kids were 13 months apart. My daughter is now 13 and my son is 12. They were always very close. They went to swimming lessons together, played soccer together and are still very close. They act more like twins and play together all the time, they only started arguing about a year ago but will stick up for each other all the time. The most difficult time was the first 6 months but once your second one starts to crawl and play you will notice they start communicating a lot.
Good luck, you will enjoy the experience and not have to entertain them all the time.

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W.K.

answers from New York on

Hi I.,

congrats on the pregnancy. It can be a very big adjustment when you are not planning for it. I had 5 and 7 year old boys ( and thought our family was complete) when i found out I was pregnant... and then at 12 weeks I found out it was identical twins. that was a major adjustment. we now have 4 kids 2 boys and two twin girls, and it is awesome!

hang in there. you have many months to adjust to the idea. plus your children will be very close in age ( less than 2 years right?) my boys are 25 months apart and they play so well together. it will be hard in the beginning with 2 in diapers but it gets easier.

It is tough now to fathom, but I think you will look back on this years from now and be so glad that your kids are close in age.

best of luck to you

W.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Seems we conceived my 2nd son around my 1st son's 1st birthday. We had planned to try a few months later so we weren't really trying too hard to prevent pregnancy. When we told people, nobody said anything negative. It is AWESOME to have 2 boys so close in age. They are best friends and they play together really well.
The same thing happened again around my 2nd son's birthday so we actually have 3 little ones within 3-1/2 years Now, that's where people start talking :)
We're 34 though and wanted to have all of our kids close together so they would be great friends.
Good luck to you, and congratulations. It really is a lot of fun to have them so close together. They go to the same birthday parties, go to swim lessons together, like the same things, - in a lot of ways it's easier.

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R.G.

answers from New York on

GOD, does not make mistakes. Ask Mary and Sarah (you can look these ladies up in the biblel) Its not our choice, live ur life and be grateful you never know where that baby may take u in the future. Pls remember my WORDS.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

My first three are each a year apart. Three years between the third and fourth. I would do it again in a
heartbeat. They all have an incredible relationship and
growing up, there was always someone to play with.
The 4th was born into a nursery school LOL.

We just did diapers and bottles and babies for a few
years.

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V.M.

answers from New York on

My ooops will be 22 tomorrow. The time went so fast. Once your "oops" is in your arms, you;ll wonder how you ever lived without him/her. Yes, you'll be busy with two little ones, but I doulbt you'll ever regret it (except sometimes during the teen years - LOL!). Good luck to your growing family.

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H.B.

answers from Rochester on

I have had 2 very horrible and difficult miscarriages and let me tell you any baby that is born is meant to be here. This baby might be an oooops for you, but he or she has a purpose from God. It might be hard and you might not be ready but it will be okay, just take one moment at a time.
Take care,
H.(mother of 11 yr old twins, a 1 1/2 yr old and 5 months pregnant.)

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S.S.

answers from New York on

Girl dont worry, I had an oops baby as well my son was four and I had planed on him being my only baby and then my daughter happen just when I decided to go back to school full time. Things happen for a reason don't worry everything will work out you will have bumps but god only puts on us what we can bear. You are bringing fourth life embrace it before you know it, your daughter will be two and the baby will be on its way. Relax and take it one day at a time. Once you look at that baby you will fall in love all over a again good luck and you have nine month to get yourself ready dont put off dealing with it; because post partum may be hard. Thats what I did and it took about a two weeks to get it toeghter. I didnt feel as though my pregancy was real until the day before the c-section when I went in for blood work and I sobbed uncontrolably to the nurse. LOL I laugh now but I was terrified, and all for nothing because you make a way. You find places for all things to fit in your life enjoy your pregnacy and your daughter. Explain to her about the baby, and her intrest and bond in the baby will help yours; because my son was great he helped me alot.

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T.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Hello I., Yes I know what your going through. I had my 3rd child which was a surprise, she was born Dec. 27th 07 and I found out I was pregnant with surprise baby #4 when my third was about 4 months old. My fourth child was born Dec 18th 08. Before #3 was even a yr old. I thought I was going to go out of my mind.LOL. Of course I would not change it for the world. My friend has 2 this close together but that is what they wanted. She said they are like twins. Now #3 is going to be 18 months and #4 is almost 8 months. It was vaery hard at the beginning, now they are getting a little older it is getting easier. Don't worry you cqn do it. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

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R.M.

answers from New York on

Congratulations, I..

We prefer to call our son a "surprise". It was not a planned pregnancy, but it was definitely a wonderful present, hence the "surprise".

I didn't really wrap my head around the idea of being a mom and having a child until a few months after he was born. It was all too surreal for me to soak in. Now we are a very happy family and maybe one day soon we'll have a little brother or sister for our surprise baby to play with.

Best of luck,
R.

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R.P.

answers from New York on

I.-
Yes, I had an "oops" baby...thats what we called it too!
At my first sons 1 year old party, I was already 5 months pregnant. Yes, some people made those "so soon" comments to me too. Dont stress it. Although it wasnt planned that way but my husband and I, we accepted it. I enjoyed the pregnancy and have NEVER regretted it. I had another son who had a playmate as a toddler and my 2 sons are wonderful and have a very good relationship. They share clothes too !
I worked full time too and yes, it was rough sometimes. But, it also has its pluses. Enjoy it and dont let anyone make you feel "bad". This is your child and I guarantee later in life, you will be happy it happened the way it was supposed to happen. Good luck and BE HAPPY>

R.
Huntington, New York

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L.B.

answers from New York on

Hi - Yes this happened to me when my son was 8 months old so my kids are 17 mos apart. I was not too happy at first either. It is almost like having twins. I was carrying 2 babies around for awhile. It actually works out well in the end though. By the time they are 2 & 4 they can play together. They know all the same kids in school. My sisters were 6 & 9 yrs younger than me. I think it is nice to have them close in age. Good Luck!

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B.Q.

answers from Elmira on

My little ones are 6 months and 22 months, so I understand your worries! My second one was not a planned baby either. That being said, it has been working out really well having the two children close together. My little girl is absolutely crazy about her baby brother and has been from the moment she saw him. Cooper loves his sister too- no one else makes him laugh nearly as much as she does! I don't think there are nearly the jealousy issues that I have seen with friends whose children are further apart in age. Also, you are still in "baby mode" with changing tables, etc. so you don't have to get all of these things out of storage. I won't lie, sometimes it is hard having two little ones. Forget going to get groceries without someone to watch the kids or push another cart! The good far outweighs the difficult though. Things will work out for you. Besides, once your new baby arrives, you won't be able to imagine life without him/her! Feel free to contact me if you want to talk- I've been through it!

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L.G.

answers from New York on

I call my son my God has a sense of humor baby. My daughter is 5 1/2 years old and I was happy with just one child. But God loves a good giggle. We went through a lot with him and i won't lie..it was a rough pergnancy and rough 4 months afterwards.

It seems like a lot of the other moms here have some good advice. If i can add also..if you can, find a friend who will let you vent without judgement. Everyone seems to think every pregnancy is this marvelous wonderful happy time and for many it is. But as you found out not always. Just understand that this is not a bad thing to feel this way. I felt the same way. Negative feelings are not bad or wrong they just are. And as for your mom.. wait till she starts spoiling her new grandbaby.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

Hi I.: I had an oops baby and he is 3 years old now. He was the best "oops mistake" I ever made. My daughters at the time when I got pregnant with him were 10 and 13, so I was not planning anymore children. I also was not happy mostly upset the entire 9 months, but when he was born, I knew it was just meant to be. Actually I cried after he was born for about 2 weeks feeling guilty thinking how could I have been so upset being pregnant with him. I look at him now and can't imagine our lives without him. I truly believe there are no oops or mistakes, it is in our journey of life. Best of Luck and try to relax and enjoy every minute with your daughter. All the best!

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

I see you have gotten a lot of responses, and already replied back. I just wanted to add one more. :) Out of 4 children, 2 of mine were oops babies. My second pregnancy came about when my first child was only 10 months old. My fourth happened when my third child was only 6 weeks!! I didn't lose my mind, and I had plenty of love for them all even though I doubted that when I was pregnant. You'll handle this no problem. Just stay open minded. :) Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

My best friend has four children. Her second and fourth were both surprizes. There are eleven months between the first born and the second born. They look out for each other. They are more like twins than singles. There is a six year difference between the third and the fourth child. The baby was a total surprise.

She has made it through paying three college tuitions for the first three girls and now the girls help paying the college tuition for their baby brother.

Long story short, your children will need each other through a lifetime. Don't worry about what others say or be embarrassed. Enjoy the endless possibilities of the joy another child will bring to your family.

Congratulations!

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