Playing Guns

i think this issue is completely up to the parents, only you know your kids best and whats best for them....but in my opinion its just like talking about sex at an early age.....if you don't talk about it and just completely forbid it then they will be very curious when some outside source introduces it to your child. good luck

I felt the same way as you at first, but you have to realize that the impetus to play this way is inborn in alot of children, especially in boys. If you forbid this play or call it bad, the child will then find that as a reflection on themselves...that since they want to play that way they must be bad as well. it does not stop the urge to play in that way, only suppresses it. I read a book that changed my feelings about gun/violent play. http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-Boys-James-Dobson/dp/14...
I don't buy him guns, but if he picks up something and pretends it is a gun, I don't freak out and tell him no. I just discourage playing violent against people. We talk about the consequences of what it means to shoot someone. He is 4 and he seems to understand that and mostly whenever shooting or something of that nature comes up, it is always limited to monsters or robots or things like that. I know it will probably get harder as he gets older, but boys need to have some kind of outlet for this kind of thing. I just try to make it constructive as possible.

My 4 year old likes to run around going bang bang also. Its normal ithink the trick is to understand if they know what they are doing. Does the child have a grasp of what bang means when pointing at another person or is just merely imitation of a show and he likes to yell. That is more what my son does. We don't let him yell bang and tell his brother he died. Its the same with most violent T.V. it is just making sure a child understands its fake.

In my opinion boys are boys and will play with guns. When I was growing up my brothers all played bad guy, good guy with guns. True, today is a different time but I allow my sons to play with light sabers and water guns. They understand that they are only make believe and that real guns hurt people. So I would say monitored time with established rules wouldn't hurt. In the summer playing water guns is actually alot of fun in the backyard.

I commend your efforts to teach your children nonviolence. We tried to do the same with our 2 sons & daughter. My extended family acted as we were overdoing it by forbidding any gifts of toy guns. Despite our attempts as soon as our children interacted with their peers they created 'guns' out of their Lego blocks! I believe that if you do what you can to model your beliefs & enforce your rules they will take on your values.

We recently bought pop guns (I really have no idea why!!) and the kids have been instructed they are not allowed to "shoot" at people. Only pillows, the wall, etc. They do fine with that. I think that it is entirely up to the parents to decide what is best for them...but before we even had the pop guns, my young son was making a "gun" out of his fingers, sound effects and all. And as far as I know, he has never seen anything to teach him that. I think kids, especially boys, instinctively know and play like that...my son also races his matchbox cars over the house using the screeching sounds and braking sounds...where in the heck did he learn THAT?!?! So I think they are going to do it, might as well learn the proper way while they are!

We don't have any play guns, but I actually think using swords (foam!) and that type of prop in play is healthy and empowering for kids (if done safely, of course.) I've read some research about it and children (esp. boys) tend to play out their fears and playing about conquering monsters and other bad guys is psychologically healthy for them and makes them feel safer. (it's sort of like how scary fairy tales help children deal with fears by working through the worst-case scenario and coming through on the other side, in fantasy. It's an interesting subject.)

My boys also wrestle, and they have been taught by their dad how to wrestle safely and fairly. It's great, fun physical outlet and I think it's sad that some households forbid it. (They also do all of the usual physical activities and sports.)

Having said that, I don't allow gun play where the "gun" (usually a stick or something like that) is pointed at a person or animal. It's my line, and I have no idea if it's rational, but it's partly a safety thing - it's better they not get into the habit, even in play, just in case.

Hi C.,
I am a mother of 4 grown kids now 18,19,20&21 It has been my experience to forbid anything just makes them want to do it more. I think setting some basic rules should be just fine. My kids played with guns and they are fine. Use your best judgement and he will be just fine.
K.

it is a tough issue,and only you and your husband can lay down the rules about gun play. we forbid anuy kind of gun play after son ended up spending 5 days in the hospital due to a water gun. he ended up with an eye bleed. now they make guns out of legos their hands etc. but they know there will never be a toy gun in this house again and not to aim at peoples faces even with lego guns. just make sure they know how you feel and that violence is never the answer and even toy guns can hurt people.

Guns! Hot topic these days for sure. Our son, 3.5 yrs, is really into the idea of good vs. evil right now. We have two play hunting rifles and he's encouraged to use them appropriately- hunting, army guys, etc. He knows that if someone is NOT playing with him (i.e. I'm a deer or another solider) and he "shoots" them, then he looses both guns for the rest of the day. It's working for us. We decided not to "ban" guns as my husband was an Army Ranger and is a collector of old firearms. We teach him age appropriate gun safety with his toy guns too- he even has a "safe" to keep them in.