Please Share Your Thanksgiving Traditions!

Hi Jamie, First of all as a family we write down 100 things we are thankful for. I decorate in a harvest type like decorations, and the whole family comes to my house, I set up buffet tables, and we usually have at least 16 people here, I sat everything up really pretty, I have Thanksgiving day china that I use, my dad, my brother and his family, my sons girlfriend's family come and friends hommaynhve now where to go, I cooked the dinner, My husband smokes a turkey and we roast one as well, after dinner and deserts, we play games, like guestures, spoons, family fued, we just make a big family day of fun together. J. L.

I agree with S.H. You have to first consider your husband's feelings. When you marry, your husband and children should be your primary concern and the extended family should become secondary. With a new baby, I would meet them briefly at a restaurant a few days before Thanksgiving, once you get a babysitter. If you get a babysitter and have a brief outing to a restaurant with your husband, that would give you couple and alone time as well as time with your extended family. Germs are an important consideration for now, until your baby gets older. Maybe you could start a new tradition? Write letters to all the family you would like to see for Thanksgiving and let them know that you are looking forward to seeing them when the baby gets older and after the cold/flu season. Let each one know that you are thankful for their support and presence in your life. I think an important part of being a wife/mom is to know how and when to set boundaries with relatives. About Thanksgiving, the most important tradition in my family is to let the others know that they are appreciated and loved and to think of your blessings. Best wishes and good luck in your situation. Use whatever advice you learn here to help you think things through.

You need to decide if you want to start your own family 'tradition' for your own family, meaning your Hubby, and your kids. Then that becomes the "tradition" and priority.

Then there is the annual "taking turns" round robin kind of thing, where you alternate who's home you will be attending for Thanksgiving meals.

Then there is the "who do you have to please" "obligations." Or the "who do you REALLY want to have Thanksgiving with...." kind of thing. Then there is the Hubby's opinions....

Have you talked it over with your Husband? This is where to start.

You cannot sanely and rationally run around frantically to EVERYONE"S home for Thanksgiving... nor, reasonably feed/buy food for/ and entertain 30+ people if you "become" the host by yourself.

So, you need to think what is YOUR & Hubby's priority????
Or, you can have a small gathering whereby you all eat out for Thanksgiving, and at a restaurant in your budget.... and EACH PERSON can pay for their share. THIS is fair. Then it does not run one person broke....but you get to share a meal together. Some of my friends do this.

Or, you have a "pre-Thanksgiving" meal at your house (on a day prior to Thanksgiving)... for a select few... an intimate group... thereby it is more budget friendly and all can fit in your home. PLUS you have a 3 month old... who is probably nursing and has to nap.... and have diaper changes and will cry. SO, having a "small" gathering at your home can be "convenient" in this respect... with your baby in mind.

ALSO, since your baby is 3 months old, maybe 4 months old by Thanksgiving... you really should think twice about exposing him to Large crowds of people/the noise/the smells/the colds or germs.... at this time of year, THIS is when the Flu season starts AND when the cold season starts and viruses abound. SO, I would think about this very important aspect as well... the health and comfort for your baby.

Main thing is, you cannot "please" everybody, or everybody's whim or "expectations" etc. As a family, now with children, you have to think about what YOU/HUBBY feel is best... YOUR own "traditions." This is what will form your family and it's special memories....

Just my opinion and thoughts, all the best,
Susan

I did the same thing for YEARS...back and forth, trying to make everyone happy. All that really accomplished was getting my husband and I mad at eachother. So, when we bought our house, we decided that we had to make it a day for OUR family. We now host and we invite everyone. If they want to come, they come, if not, then...oh well, but at least our kids will have traditions.

We make the traditional meal and invite everyone, including single friends...it's just an open door policy. People drop in and the day is wonderful.

We also do the thanksgiving tree and everyone writes what they are thankful for....even our drop in guests!!

GOOD LUCK!!

I have family all over town! Each year we try something different. We have tried spreading the holiday out into two days, but whoever (my mom or my dad) got the Friday - no one was really in the mood of turkey yet again. This last year was the funniest (my parents have been divorced for 34+ years) My mom got tired of Dad always hogging the holiday and making all 4 + kids feel quility about NOT going to his house, so last year my mom hosted a Thanksgiving breakfast!! WHich was great, cuz who is busy Thanksgiving Day for breakfast? I think that this one might just stick. Or I would go with your husband and take a vacation, it would be alot less money then trying to feed over 30 people. Just keep in mind that this holiday is about being THANKFUL not about who you spend the day with! You can be just as thankful for your family and friends no matter where you are or where they are. God Bless!

Jamie,

First of all, I have to just say what a small world it really is. My immediate family, mom and step-dad as well as my brother-in-law both live in Menifee!!! Other part of family is in Bellflower and we live in NV. SOOOO, we obviously would be spreading ourselves very thin if we tried to visit everyone on the same day. We have Thanksgiving Thrs dinner at mom's, then we have Thanksgiving weekend dinner at bro's house in Menifee.... then the other 1/2 of the family we visit for Christmas (eve or day) and take the weekend to spend with other friends/family... unless of course we decide to have it in NV and anyone who can make it comes over. We often split the holidays though. One year my side of the family gets Thanksgiving and hubby's side gets Christmas and we vise-versa the next year. However, we did say that we are going to be starting our own traditions also... my son is 3 and we want him to grow up with our own family traditions!

Best wishes,
C.~

Hi Jamie...I told my husband this year that we are having Thanksgiving at our house. We are our own family now and we can invite everyone, they are more than welcome, but its now time to make our own traditions with our own family. He's fine with it and I am so looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I feel like this, his mom (and mine too) had their years when all their children were home and now it's our turn....Sometimes us mothers just have to be demanding and we get what we want.....I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving...whatever you decide...Best wishes

M.

Jamie,
Susan nailed it! Listen to her advice and you won't go wrong. Ditto for me.

E.:)