Post Potty-training Problems

I had this same problem with my youngest. After too much yelling and hair pulling (and a trip to the U of M for diabetes testing) I finally took her to a naturepathic physician who gave me the answer: blood sugar.

Blood sugar levels drop and send a message to the brain to release the bladder. This is why they can't tell you WHY they are peeing in their pants. The message is going to the bladder sphincter automatically and without their knowledge.

The trick is to keep their blood sugar levels up throughout the day.

Make sure they are eating a lot of protein, fruits and vegetables. Protein can include meat, beans, eggs and nuts - but make sure any nut butters you serve them are unsweetened.

Avoid sugar as a regular food source and limit the filler foods (bread, pasta, rice and cereal) to less than 1/2 the amount of food you are giving them at any one time.

I give my daughter a breakfast with sausage, bacon or eggs every morning and add toast once she has eaten plenty of protein. This typically starts the day right on the blood sugar issue and most of what she eats later will be well-balanced.

I also don't feed her sweets much - perhaps 1x a day or less - offering her fruit instead. The sweets I have around the house are corn-syrup free and are pretty low calorie.

I hope this helps B.. My daughter's problem cleared up OVERNIGHT with this attention to her diet. Even her bedwetting stopped.

Don't blame the boys. It's most likely their blood sugar. Also, regulating it at this stage will help to avoid late-onset diabetes later on.

I have no idea what to say except that I would rule out a medical reason first. It certainly could be behavioral but if it WAS a medical reason you don't want to make them have consequences for something out of their control. I would ask the Dr. if you could have a stool sample done. It's not too far fetched for both of them to have the same long lasting bug or even a parasite. Do they go outside with no shoes on? Have an opportunity to "taste" sand from the sand box? Those are all ways to pick up parasites.
The fact that your older son is lying to you about accidents seems like he is embarrassed by it and doesn't do it intentionally. One other possibility is that summer is so fun and there are so many things to do that getting to the potty on time in just not a priority.
Also, the emotional aspect is a good thing to look at. Stress? Changes? All can play a huge part.
I hope you find a solution!

Is your 9 month old starting to walk now? Did he just have a new major milestone? I noticed the same thing when my youngest started to walk. My oldest had a few accidents around the same time my youngest had some major milestones like walking. The oldest felt the younger one was getting all the attention, even though we pay lots of attention to our oldest. It's some jealousy that peaks through.
Maybe try to spend some one on one time with each one, so they know that it doesn't matter what the others are doing, you love them just the same.
I also had a talk with my oldest, that I know how he felt but that "accidents" were not acceptable.

Good luck!

Most potty training accidents happen because of some sort of stress. I would think that it started because of that but that it might be continuing because of the reaction it's getting. Cancelling class, and staying home from date night only re-enforce the behavior. It's a way to get your attention even if it's negative. Keep your schedule as is, be nonchalant about it and just say "I am sending you to class with a extra set of undies and pants in case you have an accident". Period. And pull the babysitter aside (making sure the kids can't hear you) and tell her there might be accidents. I'd bet dollars to doughnuts they don't have accidents with other people (there is no reward in it). My daughter did the exact same thing when she was 5 and I got all worked up about it, it's only when I surrendered to it and acted like it was not bothering me that she stopped. Good luck!!!

Has anything changed in your lives? Stress in your marriage or change of friends or anything? It is likely that your first is having some issue and your younger one is trying to support him in it. Is the baby now taking over things that they see as belonging to them? Toys, bedroom, etc.

Since it is both of them, it is probably not physical so then it is either an emotional response to stress or a power struggle. Try to determine if there is something bugging them like that but definitely make it their problem. They clean up, change clothes, etc. Try not to get upset with them, just treat it like you would if they had gotten dirty at the park. It is really easy to make this into a really big deal, but it doesn't need that kind of attention.

One thing though. I had one boy that seemed to suddenly start pottying in his pants after being trained. I thought he was just being lazy or something, but I found out that he was really constipated. Only what was liquid was getting through and it was confusing his "signals" so that he didn't know he was desperate until it was too late. Something to check into.

Sounds like a power struggle. I recommend this for anyone who has had potty trained kids and they all of a sudden out of the blue they want to regress.

Make both boys 100% fully responsible for their accidents. You supervise but they do all the work. Let them remove their soiled underpants and clean them, put them wherever it you want them like a laundry room or bucket. Have them clean themselves and clean up any mess they may have made on the floor or in the bathroom. Have them go get new clothing and redress themselves. Let them do all the work. You just watch and supervise. With all the work involved they will quickly see it's easier to just the potty.

I did this with my daughter. Her accidents have diminished. She had 3 tiny accidents at school in the first grade from waiting til it's to late. She was very embarrased, and did everything in her power to hide it, she stuffed tissue in her panties so she wasn't all wet and damp. She learned quickly the kids will laugh and mom isn't there to save me. She was lucky noone ever knew what happened. She learned how to take responsibility though at home because I would refuse to help her with accidents. I got fed up at age 4-5 she was constantly having accidents becuase of pure laziness. I think this coming school year she won't even have tiny accidents because she now knows to go when she has to and not play games and wait.

B.,
I swear all kids go through a stage where they start having accidents again! But I think much more so boys.... I have a 6 year old son and he did all of those things at one time or another - the not wiping thing drove me insane. And he did it around 5 1/2 years old as well. He was just too busy for it. And he didn't much care about it... I think as annoying as it is, they just will need constant reminders for a while. No prizes, bribes or punshiments worked for us either.