Potty Training 3 Year Old

The first time going potty is the hardest. My son recently did it, but it was thanks to his daddy. One morning when Daddy had to get up early, he woke my son up to go potty. Everyone has to go in the morning, and since he was awakened it worked! Since then, he has been slowly increasing in his proficiency, but these things do take time so try to be patient. Once he goes the first time, he will probably take off. Good luck!

Hi J.

I know what it is like. I never thought my boy would get the potty training idea.

Our strategies were setting up a reward chart for when he went to the toilet, but a really nifty idea that I got from someone else was putting ping pong balls in the toilet with faces on them. Make a competition out of peeing on them to get them.

Hope it helps

J

This is a tricky time for a toddler. sometimes they are aware of body functions, and others they are completely oblivious. It is a gradual discovery when they can actually recognize "the event" AS it's happenning, and an even bigger one when they realize they KNOW it's coming, and a Big Deal when they find they have control (sometimes).
This happens with strides forward and then a return to the old way of not being aware again.
They are not being naughty. They are completely engrossed in discovering something else about the world than what YOU want them to learn.
Having raised my own children and a few others' as well, I found that a BIG HAPPY Celebration ( dancing around the room, getting held up and alot of boisterous Whoopee) over anything that ends up in the potty is sufficient to encourage more awareness of the whole proceedure.
Scolding and shaming will make the whole awareness disappear, while the child's focus goes away from what their body feels like when the "urge" comes.
There IS no urge in the toddler. It's not noticed at all. It just "happens". Only by giving them support and a comfort zone of security, can they begin to feel safe enough to pay attention to the feelings and make sense of them. Eventually they recognize it more often (not every time) and begin to head for the potty.
Shame and blame is extremely harmful, and useless as a teaching process. Rewards should be fancy underwear, but most of all, directed at what a good thing it is to have "that" in the potty. Yay! (It is a GOOD THING to have happen. I tried to avoid saying "You are good" because that implies that a mistake means "you're bad"... No, "you're NOT bad. You just didn't get it in the potty. There'll be other opportunities."

Don't give up yet. Potty training no matter what means about 2 weeks of messes you get to clean up.

This place has an occasional potty training class and also a library of books, including potty training books, to check out:
http://www.inspiredabq.com

The public library, of course, also has some books. My only warning is to make sure it NEVER becomes a power struggle. It will surely backfire. He's not ready right now, but since he is eager, he may very well be soon.

My first took forever to train (almost 4 years old) but by son #3 we discovered the key for our sons was that they wanted to pee standing up like Daddy, not sitting on a potty chair like a Mommy. At age 3 & 4 they were all about identifying with my husband.

So every hour or so I'd take them to the potty, toss in a few Cherrios to aim at and help them stand and aim at the floating Cherrios and try to sink them. I think we pretended they were ships on fire and we had to put out the fire...worked like a charm. They loved anything once we made it a game.

P.S. After they were pretty consistant about being trained they got to pick out big boy underwear at the store. I thought they'd choose super heros or something but they all wanted boxers like my husbands.

Hi J., my son turned three last month and is still in the potty training mode. At the begining I had the exact same problem another mom suggested putting his little potty in the living room, so I gave it a try and it worked GREAT! His train table is in the living room and so are most of his toys so this way he didn't have to take too much time away from playtime. In the morning my son watches cartoons which he hates to miss a minute of, so having the potty in the living room for a bit really helped him take time to try it and after a week or two we moved it back to the bathroom and he would hold it until we prompted him to go potty. We also used a potty sticker chart and rewarded him when he filled it up. Yesterday he just decided to start telling me when he had to go so we didn't have any accidents! Good luck to you!

I have potty trained 2 kids not that I am a pro but my son is 5 now and was the hardest! He was close to 3 and basically I took diapers away EXCEPT at night and when we were out. They need to feel. AT first he may not care thats how my son was but he will. AT first its alot of work on your end. I would potty him every 1-2hours and sometimes closer together like if he hadn't went for almost 1 1/2 then I would move the times closer together. Within a week or two he was going 2-4times in the potty then I implemented a sticker chart which he loved! So every time he went we put a sticker on it and when it was full we went to the $1 store and he picked whatever he wanted. He was not even fully pee trained till almost 3 1/2 and over 4 for poop...he was extremely hard! But the biggest to help is get those diapers/pull ups off and let them feel those accidents. His younger sister was easy but basically I did the same thing but with her all it took was panties and she was off and trained within days:) She just wanted to do it. I was amazed because by 2 1/2 she was fully trained....That was luck! LOL

Well good luck I know its not easy and often boys are harder. I am hoping my 13mos old whom is a girl and our last is as easy as her older sister! LOL

Part of me feels that 3 is too young to potty train for young boys. My son started a preschool that didn't allow diapers when he was 3 and he was pretty hit and miss when he was wearing his underwear. He didn't really get peeing in the potty down until he was 3 1/2. And he is just now getting pooping down and he is 5 1/2. He still wets the bed every night and wears a pull up. I tried positive and negative reinforcement and that didn't, and still doesn't work. I feel really bad about punishing him when he was 3. Now I believe he just wasn't ready.

(Having him stand up to pee really helped us too. He thought that was pretty cool.)

My advice would be to relax. Reward him when he eliminates in the toilet but don't go crazy if he doesn't. He will figure it out when he is ready.

My son is just about 99% potty trained. He turned a few weeks ago. We started potty training when he was a little over 2 years old. At first he was freaked out about the potty. So I let him go at his own pace. I didn't want him to be afraid of the potty or associate it with some kind of punishment so I never forced him or punished him. Everytime he had an accident, I would just talk to him about how big boys don't potty in their big boy undies anymore. It's was a long process but one year later, we finally got him to poop in the toilet. You just have to be patient. I don't think 2 days of trying is long enough for him to get the concept. A lot of times, his daddy and he would go pee in the pot together so that he can see for himself that all big boys go potty. Accidents are part of the training. You just have to expect them and accept them. The more they poop or pee in their underpants, the more they will not like it. You just have to give him time to realize that for himself.

Potty training takes time, even when they want to do it. They have to learn what the felling is before the pee comes out, and then they have to learn how to make the muscels work and hold it until they get to the potty and then they have to learn how to let the muscles go to let the pee come out while they are sitting in a new position, with everybody watching. Often even after they get the pee thing down, they still have poop accidents. In most cases, it is a process. Just be patient. Rewards are good. I have a 2 year old, who is just about there. We keep dum dums in the bath room that he could see and he got one when he peed in the potty. It sounds like your doing everything right, just give him some time. He'll get it. Next time around it wil probally be easier. Little siblings love to do what olders ones can do.

Good Luck!

Hi J.,
Echoing what some of the other Moms have said: using the potty is a "skill." You are confusing the issue by rewarding dry underpants.

If you are going to reward, then the only thing you should be rewarding is pee or poo in the pot. Don't punish accidents, because that is what they are, "accidents," and you'll make your little boy defensive and afraid to pee/poo in front of you.

Keep taking him regularly. I also recommend you keep the underpants off, but not as punishment. Then when he pees, say "Oh, you're peeing! Ya-hoo, now go put it in the potty!" (or something like that). That way, he starts learning the feel (I'm already doing that with my 21 mo. old, and now, all he wants to do is pee on command :)

Take the pressure off, he wants to learn, but he's NOT gonna get it overnight.
T

He's obviously not ready. Boys typically take longer to train than girls. My son wasn't 100% trained till he was 3 1/2. I would stop for a few weeks and then try again. Also, I found out that once you start training, you can't give up and then just put diapers back one. These kids are smart enough to figure out that if they don't want to use the toilet, that they can just have an accident so that you'll put the diaper back on. Potty training has been the hardest part of my parenting! Hang in there. At some point, he will do it. Just keep at it and buy a good mop! Good luck.

If he is smart and verbal, as you say, then he knows what he is doing. If he hasn't had a single time going in the potty, it's no accident - it's a decision. He doesn't like the feeling of the wet/ soiled diaper, and does like the attention he gets from all this. Just put a diaper (pull up) back on him and tell him that when he keeps his diaper dry by using the toilet for a whole day, then you will let him wear underpants again. But if he has another accident, the pull up goes back on. He should be praised for using the potty, and you need to help him immediately when he asks, but don't make it a huge deal. You can put up a chart on the refrigerator that he can mark that shows that he used the potty and can get a reward by doing it for a whole day. One of my kids NEVER went in the potty until she made a decision that she wanted to - and then she NEVER had an accident! Good luck!