Potty Training a Boy - Chesapeake,VA

Updated on April 14, 2009
M.T. asks from Chesapeake, VA
31 answers

My son is now 16 months old. He just got a potty over the weekend. I sit him on it right after breakfast and he just cries. He has not so much as peed in it. Tonight I sat him on it before bed and he cried and cried but he did stay seated. What can I do to make him more comfortable on the potty? I do not know if he is afraid to go in the potty or what.

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thanks Moms. From all of the responses here, it is too early. I thought he was ready because he goes into the bathroom with me and when I sit on the toilet he walks right over to the toilet tissue and starts pulling at it to give to me. Sometimes he will also bring me a diaper after he has done a number two.
With this being my only boy, I didn't realize that the potty training times are much more delayed than girls. I have started receiving potty training information from some diaper company websites so that also made me think that it was time.
Thanks so much for tried and true advice ladies. You are the best.

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S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

This might sound strange but I wait as long as I can to start potty training. I have 4 kids and my two oldest are potty-trained. My oldest I started early (around 18 months) and he had major aversions to the potty because of it. I read Potty Training in a day and waited until he was almost 3. Within a day he was potty trained even at night. He has had only 3 accidents ever but that's super rare. My little girl took longer but that was because we weren't really consistent and we tried too early. I totally love that book and enjoy waiting until the are older knowing the clean up won't be nearly the same day in and day out.

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Y.L.

answers from Richmond on

If he cries when you put him on the potty then he's not ready. Try giving it some time and then maybe in a month or so start reading potty books to him and have the potty where he plays and see if he shows interest in it. Does he let you know when he's pooped? That's a good sign it's time to start.

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C.L.

answers from Washington DC on

If he's not interested in the potty now, don't push the issue. Let it sit there so he can become comfortable with it. 16 months may be a little early to start potty training a boy. I have heard that boys take longer to potty train than girls. My 28 month old is just starting to tell me if he is wet or poopy, so I'm going to start the potty training soon.

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I think if he is interested it would be a good time to introduce the potty but no pressure to go in it. My son was signing when he peed at that age and I easily trained him at 26 months because I had been progressing him along. SO, wait a few weeks, then ask if he wants to sit on it with his pants up. Read a story or just let him sit there while you go. Then a few days later see if he wants to pull his pants down and sit with the diaper. Then one day tell him the seat will be cold but will warm up quickly and would he like to sit on it without his diaper. That cold can surprise them! I'm just saying that he's interested in the process and you paid for the potty, so don't let it go to waste. In a few months put him on first thing in the morning and see if he pees. My son peed in his potty several times a week for several months. He decided he would try and poop, talked about it for several days, then did it twice and lost interest in the whole thing. Then a few months later when he was asking for diaper changes after pooping we trained in one week. It went easily because he had done it before! Good luck. D.

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J.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter's pediatrician told me that the "pottying experts" recommend delaying toilet training until the child is closer to age 2.

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C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

In my opinion, after raising 2 boys and 2 girls, he is way too young for potty training and his tears are telling you so. Most children of either sex aren't ready until 2, but boys will often be 2 1/2, 3 or older before they train. Try to not make this a power struggle. He'll be ready soon enough. If you keep things light and leave the potty out he'll get comfortable with it in his own time. good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Lynchburg on

16 months is waaaaayyyyyy too early.If you keep trying at this piont you run the risk of scaring him off the potty. I had a talk with my son when he was 2 1/2, and within a month he was potty trained.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

It sounds to me like your son is not ready to potty train...16 months is very young. Leave the potty around where he can see it so he becomes familiar with it & let him explore it how & when he wants. You will know when he wants to potty train & when they are ready it is a very quick process , if you try to force it you will just frighten him & the whole process will become a battle that will go on for months or maybe even longer.

Good luck

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

poor little fella. he hasn't even had a chance to get used to seeing it in the bathroom yet and he's getting pressured to do something he doesn't understand!
i'd cry too.
back off, mom. he's not ready yet.
khairete
S.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

It's too early. Wait about 6 months, then try again. If he's not into it now, you might make him put up a fight about it when he should be ready. 16 months is too young... he doesn't have the maturity. I'm just starting with my 2 year old (26 months). My older boy was a lot slower... he wasn't fully trained until he was 4... and I made some mistakes with him. He ended up needing x-rays to show that his bowels were completely full and months of laxatives to improve the situation. He was holding his poopie in because he didn't want to go on the potty. I blame myself because I started to get frustrated with him over it. That's the wrong way to go about it. He got too anxious over it and it caused a medical problem. I suggest just waiting until he shows the signs that he's ready... is his diaper dry in the morning and after naps? Does he go into the corner to go poopie or tell you that he needs a diaper change? Those are good signs that he's ready to make the transition to the potty. If he's not ready, he won't do it, and there will be frustration on all sides.

Good luck.

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K.T.

answers from Dover on

Put it away for now! He is way to young, especiallt if he is getting upset.

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J.W.

answers from Washington DC on

That is REALLY young to be potty training. He's not ready and the more you fight it the worse it will be for the both of you. Put the potty away for a while. He'll let you know when he's ready to start learning. If you wait until *HE'S* ready it will go quickly and smoothly!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

He is WAY too young! You should just keep it out where he can see it and play with it if he wants to. If you traumatize him with it now potty training when he is the right age will be a nightmare! Most boys don't potty train until 2 1/2 to 3 years or older.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Potty training should be easy and fun. The child needs to be aware of when they need to relieve themselves, able to control that urge, and have the vocabulary to communicate their needs clearly to you. Very few 16months are ready to potty train. It is not worth the added stress to push your son through this stage. It is one the hardest concepts for a child to get. they have always just done their business whenever and wherever they happen to be and now the rules have changed. If I were you I would wait until your son is at least 2yr. I would put the new potty in storage until he is ready to look at it and accept it with joy. I have used the "Once Upon a Potty" dvd with my kids. When they are ready to potty training it is a fun easy approach.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

Don't make him set on it if it upsets him. If you do that than you are forcing him and he will not preform for you. What you do is put it next to your potty and as most kids do he will start following you in and will choose on his own to set on it when you do. Just tell him it's the same as his. Also keep in mind some children don't use a potty at all they use the large on right off because they want to be just like mommy and Daddy. Amazingly enough but they can easily set on the seat with out a cover all they need is a stool. 99% of the children i watch and train don't use the potty seat we have. Not because i don't have one but because they feel more successful on the big one. I actually started using the large one more often when a childcare provider told me she didn't allow them to use aids only step stools because it made for better transition and less clean up. Good luck

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J.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I know I am probably just repeating many of your previous answers but he is way too young! My son was 1 month shy of 3 before he was fully potty trained. I attempted to start training at 2 1/2 years, but he was not ready. I let him decide when. He became quite uncomfortable with messy diapers and I just let him run around naked. After urinating on his feet several times, he wanted to use the potty. I rewarded him with "poopy" prizes (small cars and trains). The entire process took about 1 month.

Let your son be a baby! Enjoy this time with him. And don't stress him out with the potty!

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J.D.

answers from Norfolk on

in my opinion 16 months is waaayyy too young to be thinking about potty training a boy. i have 3 girls who didnt even potty train that early and girls are usually ready before boys. my son is 2 he will be 3 in july and he is just now starting to potty train. i know i should have probably started him earlier but it has been hectic the last few months. anyway i would suggest just waiting at least a few more months before trying again. he will show signs when he is ready to begin. or you could just set the potty in the living room so he gets used to seeing it and maybe he will start checking it out on his own. there is plenty of info online about when you should start potty training. hope everything works out. :)

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F.B.

answers from Kansas City on

He's probably too young and you may very well be making him afraid of the potty, something you do not want to do. Remember that boys potty train later that girls, because they're developmentally and emotionally delayed than their female counterparts. Has he showed any signs that he is ready to potty train? Does he want his wet diaper off as soon as it's wet/dirty? Does he hide when he goes in his diaper? I completely ignored potty training in my son, didn't do or say anything, but let him go to the bathroom with us whenever we could. Then around 18-20 months, he started trying to undo my mom's pants. She said I don't have to go potty, do you, we took him in, he peed in the potty. Then whenever he asked to we took him and we very excited, praising, etc, but didn't say anything negative if he went in his diaper. Before his 2nd birthday, he was going all the time except overnight in the potty and we haven't had an accident. I know several people that tried to potty train and the boys were pushing 4 and still refusing to use it and one child that is so afraid of the potty by being forced to use it, the doctor actually sent them to a therapist, true fear. Be careful and good luck!!

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A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I would never never put my kid on the potty when he is crying. You are creating negative associations that can set you back months or even years.

As everyone else stated 16 months is extremely early. While I believe most kids are ready well before 3 and often before thier parents, I also believe in waiting until there are some signs of readiness(for my kids this was mostly interest in the potty). We got pottys at my house at 16 months. I also bought lots of board books about potty training. I put the potties in the corner so the kids could see them and we started reading books together and cheering for the characters in the books. My kids sat on the potties ocassionally whenever they would ask, usually when we were reading the books. My twins are now 23 months old. About two weeks ago my son started telling me when he has to go, his sister has gone a couple of times but is a little more impatient. Next week we're going to try underwear and see how it goes. Only just recently have my children gained the verbal skills to tell me they need the potty. I have every confidence that they will be trained in the next few months.

So basically I understand your desire to train early, but you are jumping the gun and if you make your son upset you may set yourself back to training well after 3. You need to go slowly and gently when you train early.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Totally normal!! Don't worry!! It may just be a little too early to try to potty train. Going through potty training with my son and talking to other moms in playgroups, boys dont seem to want to potty train until about 3yrs old. I know, I know.... I wanted those diapers off about 18mths! I would try moving the potty, for a little while, out of the bathroom and into the playroom so he can get comfortable with it... probably not the advice you wanted but it is what I would do... good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I can understand wanting to get his potty learning started, but it may be too early for him now. I have had 4 boys and every boy is different, but I don't start the potty scene until they are a year older than your son.

Halfway between 2 & 3 & closer to 3 is a good time to train most boys. My own mom, who had boys and girls, recommended waiting until 3, not even bringing it up until then, and then at 3 it takes about 1 day. I have found the same thing, before that its the parent who gets trained in setting the child up, but after 2 & 1/2 to 3, the child can do it easily. All of the sphincter control needs to be there and so does the ability to undress himself, if not, it can be very frustrating. Good luck!

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J.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Most boys develop bladder control much later than 16 months. Your little boy sounds frightened. My advice is to put the potty seat away for a year and then try again. You don't want him to develop a fear of the seat that will make potty training even harder. He's just too young for it now. Most kids are potty trained at about 3 years old.

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M.P.

answers from Norfolk on

16 months is REALLY young for a boy to potty train. Typically 3 year old boys are still learning to use the potty. I suggest putting the potty away entirely until HE shows signs of interest in using the potty. Some signs may include, intrest in daddy or mommy or sister using the potty and wanting to "watch" or asking about his diapers or your underwear, knowing when he is going to urinate or deficate and letting you know, or concern when having soiled pants.

Good luck and be patient, boys develop much slower in this area.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi M.,
Did you get the potty b/c he was interested in it? The reason I ask is that 16 months is pretty young to start potty training. You also cannot force him to sit on the potty. It will completely backfire on you.
I suggest keeping his potty seat in the bathroom, but DO NOT force him into training. He may not be ready! The time will come, the best thing you can do is relax & wait for him to let you know.
Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Sounds like he's not ready for the potty. If he's not ready don't push it at all, can set them up for all sorts of 'issues' later on (and now). 16 months is a bit early anyway, boys usually train later than girls. Just relax, maybe get the Once Upon a Potty book and/or video but wait until he's showing interest on his own. If you keep setting him on it and making him cry it could make him afraid of it.
S.
mom to son almost 8 and daughter almost 3

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P.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh my---please stop! This is way too early. Your son's distress alone makes this untenable. Wait another year and at about 30 months start vocabulary about training. Start actual "training" close to 3years and it will be swift and successful.

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E.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Try to think of the potty as a practice potty for now. I wouldn't put too much energy in to training him for full time use right now. I started my daughter on the potty around 20 months--we had it sitting out in the open so she could get used to seeing it and then gradually started using it only at bath time. I used a tic-tac as a reward. Then, at 2.5 it just clicked and she started using it full time with no accidents and no issues. One day I just put her in underwear and spent about 2 days reminding her to go. Surprisingly, she only goes once every 2 hours or so. I think she was so successful because she had about 6 months of freedom to use it when she felt like it (any time she was naked really.) Now, at 32 months she's 100% trained during the day but wears easyups at night.

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M.A.

answers from Washington DC on

It's way too early! Most boys are not ready until 2 1/2 years old to even start trying. I would say leave it there and let him go when he is ready. If you force it he'll take longer. Don't be in a rush to potty train. There is plenty of time! My son is 19 months old and there's no way he'll even think of going potty. My almost 4 year old didn't go regularly until he was 3 and didn't poo in the potty until he was over 3 1/2.

Good luck.

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E.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Sorry that I am soo late in my response. Both of my boys began potty training sometime during their thitrd year, on their fourth birthdays, exactly, they both decided that they were done with diapers. They are 25 months apart in age. Keep the potty in the bathroom and make sure that he knows that it is there for him to use, and remind him how to use it also. Another thought, some boys respond better to the main guy in their lives show them how they go potty. They do make a PT Urinal, you can find it at baby stores. Have fun, I promise that he won't go to kindergarten still in diapers/pull ups.

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Don't force him to do it by any means. Boys generally take longer than girls and if he hates it now, he will not ever want to go. My 25 month old boy is starting to show interest now, but doesnt want to go. I am not pushing it. My older son was almost 3.5 when he finally potty trained, and while it was annoying and expensive, making it a bad experience for him only prolonged our process. I would suggest letting him go when he wants to go, and not making him sit on it ever. Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a little late but thought I'd answer anyway. Leave the potty out and let him play with it. My son really liked to watch the "I Can Go Potty" video. It took him a while (nearly 4)and we still use pull-ups at night. He also never cared if he was messed. I think that makes a difference as well.

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