Potty Training Abcs?

I can give you some advice! My daughter is the same age as yours! She was born 9/28/06. We have been trying potty training since 18 months also and she has really just gotten it down, at least for pee pee now, and not always. She does use the adapter and the stool and rejected the potty that sits on the floor. She almost always tells me or daycare when she has to go pee pee and when she sits on the potty she goes. Poopey is a little different. Sometimes she tells me when she has to go and we will go in, and I sit on the floor and read to her and tell her if she sits long enough to go poopey, I will give her a special sticker or sweet tart or something she likes. This usually works. I also found that when you can let her walk around without anything on. She will know she has to go and doesn't have anything on and she will ask to use the potty. This really works. I like you thought I wouldn't use pullups, but I do. She really likes them and feels special that they aren't "diapers" anymore. I do like Huggies over Pampers though b/c they have velcro sides so you can get them off and on without taking her pants off! Now every mornnig she wakes up and asks to use the potty. I suggest doing that and when you can put her on the potty every 2 hours and before bed. I'm a single full time working mom, so my time is limited with her, but daycare works well with her so I don't think it matters who is helping her. I hope this helps!

K. M

Hi! I introduced the potty very slowly and like you, I didn't force or push my daughter because I knew that that would set us backward! At first, I would give her a sticker just for sitting on the potty. When she was comfortable with that and started to use it, I would give her 1 M&M for pee and 2 for poop. That worked really well for her. Once she wasn't afraid of the potty anymore, we went cold turkey on diapers and went straight into underwear. It was a messy week with accidents, but she hated the feeling of being wet. After one week, she was trained! Good luck!!

~C.
My blog: http://daisyandpear.blogspot.com

J.,

It's great that you are attempting at this age. I had 2 boys and I'm told it's harder with girls, so I don't know. My son at 12 months was seeing his 3 yr old brother us the potty & he would sit on teh little potty, so I thought he would be really easy, wrong. He quickly lost interest and was not ready again before about the age your daughter is to 3 yrs. However, for both my boys, they went to daycare & in oredr to move up to the preschool room, they had to be potty trained & 3 yrs of age. This was a great drive for them because they wanted to move up. The best thing is not to push them. I used a sticker rewards chart. I made up a chart of my own & had listed several times a day, like "When I wake Up"; "Before Morning Snack", "Before Lunch"; "After Lunch"; "Before Nap"; "After Nap", etc. I used pictures taht made it exciting to them and then left them pick out the stickers they wanted to use for it. I then would let them place the sticker on when they tried. I had a set of other REALLY Special Stickers (Sparkly or whatever) that they got to use only if they actually peed or went stinkies on the potty. It worked great for both of them.

Good luck.

Hi J., Okay it sounds like you have a good start. None of my three girls liked/used the little potty chair either. They liked using the regular toilet with the little seat insert and a step stool (I even bought one for my babysitter to be consistant.) All three of my girls potty trained when they were three. Yes, we used pull-ups but only at night and when we were out of the house. When we started trainning we used the trainning pants and bought "pretty" panties for when they quit having accidents. Is she waking up dry from her nap or all night? If she is then yes, start with those trips to the potty first thing. Let her come into the bathroom with you when you have to "go to potty". Encourage her with "mommy has to go potty do you?" or before you go out shopping, "Mommy has to go to potty before we leave. Can you go potty like Mommy?" Once she starts don't stop and make accidents "no big deal". No punishment and no over reacting...you can try what we did, once our girls started we bought little (really pretty) stickers. For every day they went without an accident we put one on the family calandar. Once they managed 4 weeks without an accident they each got to pick out the "Star Castle" they wanted. LOL my girls are now 17, 15 & 12 and they each still have their Star Castles!! You can quit with the pull-ups at night when they ask if they can wear panties to bed. They will ask as they become more comfortable in panties and less comfortable in the pull-ups which happens pretty quickly after you hit that 4 week mark. My biggest recommendation is to not make potty training a personal control issue or rule your world. Calm, cool, collected and very matter-of-fact about the whole thing will benefit you all in the long run more than you can realize. It will happen, and all your stress about it will seem silly someday. My Dr. (himself a father of three girls just a bit older than mine) told me at the time that as long as the girls were potty trained before they started school they were good. That really took the pressure off! Relax, this is just her first step to independance... Best wishes

DON'T WORRY! She's right at that "iffy" age and we went thru the same thing at that time. You'll be shocked one day when you wonder where she went and she's on the potty herself. Just keep mentioning it and trying, but don't push...just like you're doing. As for pull-ups, I use them at night still, (M is 3-1/2) but honestly if I even leave it on her for too long first thing in the morn. she'll sometimes still just go in the diaper. For daytime I did what you're thinking - I just put underwear on her and dealt with some accidents for a week or so. I was stressed like you at that age, and one day she just came around! Same exact situation with the potty seat - M never liked the little kid potty, always the adapter to the big one. I think our thing was that she wanted to do it by herself - as soon as she could do EVERYTHING (pants down, etc.) by herself, she was on the potty whenever necessary. Sounds like she totally understands the whole point, so don't worry about not being around her all the time. Just ask if she wants to go every once in awhile, and I bet she'll let you know when she needs to. Best advice? Try not to worry - I know EXACTLY how you feel, and you really don't need to waste time stressing - it will come! Best to you!

Yes i never used pull ups they are a waste of time and money and they don't work like they say. What you will have to do and yes it is a pain is take her every 30-45 minutes or so (which doesn't give her the time to pee in her panties)after every meal, after every nap and as soon as she wakes up in the morning and also everytime you go (even if she just went in 10 minutes before that). She will get used to staying dry. Still use diapers at nap time and at night until she is able to stay dry. Usually if she can stay dry for 2 hours during a nap you can keep her in panties. But once you start you can't stop cause she will regress. Oh and don't get angry when she does go in her pants just make her change in to something dry and explain that being all wet and smelly isn't fun. Also with Summer coming up it will be alot easier cause you can put little sundresses on her and will be easy to train. Don't give up she will get it. And don't let any one tell you to wait because it is alot harder and I don't think you want a 4 year old still in diapers. My little girl was trained by 2 with maybe two accidents since then and she is 5 now.

Skip the Pull Ups, total waste of money.

My boys did their best when we just took away the diapers. A word of caution - you may want to put plastic or some other form of fabric protection anywhere they will be sitting to protect your furniture. They sell mattress protectors that are like an envelope that you slide their mattress into and zip closed. I washed their sheets almost every day for about 2 weeks b/c of accidents when we started, but eventually they got the hand of it. My youngest was not 100% consistent when he started preschool, but within 3 days he was perfect. I cannot take credit for that - I have to congratulate preschool. When he would have an accident (usually b/c he didn't want to stop what he was doing) they would take him in the bathroom, make him undress himself, wipe himself off, then get dressed again. It took a long time and he quickly figured out it was faster to just go to the potty and not have an accident.

I wouldn't get into a big fight over using the potty or use bribery (had a friend who's son was "trained" and at 5 years old, if he didn't get M&M's at the end of the day as a reward for not having accident, would mess in his pants the next day. When the M&M's came back, he stopped having accidents. Didn't care if he was at school, either.). I would stop cheering when she poops in her pants then dumps it in the potty. Only congratulate her when she goes on the potty by herself. I don't think it will matter if it's you or your husband helping her. I would think it would be better if you both did it, b/c it would be more consistent reinforcement.

Good luck - I remember how frustrating that could be!

PS congrats to you for going back to school!

From your update, sounds like she may not be that interested yet. IMO, better to wait until she is rather than spend extra months of misery if she's not into it. If that's the case & if I were you, I would wait til spring/summer. Her body will be better able to hold it for longer. All kids are different. Why do you think she's ready? You're doing the right thing by teaching what the potty is for and yu should continue to do that. Yu'll know when she is really showing interest!
I used Pull ups and didn't feel that they were a waste of time & money. They worked good for us b/c my son would rather get changed standing up. I also used them at night until he decided he didn't want them anymore--after that he never had a nighttime accident and had it completely mastered. Get the book/DVD Once Upon A Potty (girl version). It may get her interested. Good luck!

It sounds like she's not interested yet, and it will only be frustrating for both of you if she's not. When my son turned 3, I wanted him to shop with me for underwear for him and he said "I don't need underwear...I wear diapers." i.e. "I'm not interested and you can't make me!" A few months later, he was interested (pressured by an older neighbor boy) and it went fine. I don't think it matters that the duties are shared by you and her dad...as long as you're consistent.

Good luck!

My son is currently 25 mos old and I started potty training him at 23 mos. He got it on the 2nd day of training. He still has accidents now and then and doesn't stay dry for nap or bed, but we're working on it. I bought an e-book from www.3daypottytraining.com The author also gives you online personal mentoring with any potty questions you have when you buy her book. It was WONDERFUL! Warning...it is VERY intensive. You've got to commit to 3 days of being by your child's side ALL the time. It was so worth it for me to just suffer through those few days and get it over with. Best $25 I ever spent on my kid. And about the pull-up v. underware...kids aren't stupid. They know that pull-ups are just diapers that pull on. I used them before we did the 3-day method and my son said "diaper" right away as I showed them to him. I tried to tell him they were underpants and he said "no, diaper."

I wish you the best! This potty training thing is really no fun! I'll be glad when mine gets nights figured out!

J.,
I know what you are going through I am a mother of 3 and baby #4 will be here in 5-6 weeks. here is what worked with all 3 of my kids #3 just started potty training about a month ago. I got put them on the potty while getting ready for bath every so often just to get them used to the potty. but besides that i did nothing! with my first i tryed after naps and throughout the day and treats for going praise rewards exct. nothing worked so i gave up then right after she turned 3 she decided she was going to go potty. and potty trained completely within a few months. so i did the same with 2 and 3 just let them decide when they were ready it was so easy their body said when they needed to go and i have had less than a half dozen accidents with each of them.
till they start to stay dry for the most part over night we use a diaper then when they wake up they go potty and put underware on they only change into a pullup if we are going for a car ride. then after the diapers are gone we put a pul up on for bed (bed is the hardest time) but they train so fast and it is so much easyer so just let her tell you when she is ready. some are ready at 2 others are not till closer to 4. with mine it was right after the 3rd birthday.
hope that helps.

Hi J.,
I highly recommend the book "The No-Cry Potty Training Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. My daughter asked to sit on the potty at 18 months and I really wasn't ready! So, the next day I bought a potty and feverishly started reading everything I could online. I only got overwhelmed. My daughter wanted to sit on the potty and would go peepee and poopie, but had no idea what she was doing and had no idea when she needed to go. I tried a day with training pants to help her figure out what wet felt like, but she didn't get it. Clearly she wasn't really ready to potty train yet. So, I got the "No-Cry" book (since I found Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution" book so helpful) and took a deep breath. Pantley has great ideas, like instead of looking at either Pull-ups or training pants, start with Pull-ups to make it easier for you. Once she has successes, switch to training pants. It just makes sense. I understand the controversy, but if your daughter isn't ready, like mine, it won't matter how wet she gets, i.e., panties or training pants won't speed things along. I use Pull-ups for ease in helping her on and off the potty. She gets used to pulling up her undies after using the potty and they'll absorb while she's maturing enough to get it. My daughter also loves to wear her special Elmo panties over the Pull-up. We've only been at this potty training thing for a few weeks, but already, my daughter is starting to tell me she needs to go potty and peeing when she gets there. She loves being able to choose a sticker to put on her potty chart. Best of all, she's finally beginning to understand what wet is!

Really, get the "No-Cry Potty Training Solution" book, it is the best!!!

I think the fact that she likes putting the seat on the toilet and sitting there is good roleplay for her. I also think first thing in the morning and at bedtime are the best times. She's two, however, and she wants it to be her idea. That's the hard part.

So if there's something you can bribe her with, I'd resort to bribery. And then don't ask her if she "wants to go on the potty" Tell her, "Now we're going to get on the potty." Sometimes we use a question when we don't really mean to imply an choice, we are trying to sound polite. It's confusing to kids, and when we phrase something as a choice, it's not fair to them to try to then control the outcome. Let your daughter know that if she pees IN the potty, then she gets some special treat -- I found getting my girls to pee on the potty was easier than getting them to poop there, for whatever reason.

You'll get tons of good advice from this sight, so my only intelligent advice is this: come up with a plan that works for both you and your husband. Try to be consistent. And work at it for a week, then together evaluate whether it's working at all. Come up with ideas to adjust the "plan" where it's not working, and just keep going. There are lots of children who wear diapers longer than others, but miraculously, no children wear diapers to kindergarten !! :-)

Don't get upset with the lack of immediate success. The downside to potty training is having to RUN to the toilet in every store, etc., when you are out -- or being on the interstate and having a little voice in the back seat pipe up, "I have to GO POTTY!!!!!"

google dr phil potty training. worked for my daughter. potty trained at 25 months old. tried and didn't work. tried 2 weeks later and it was a success! good luck!