Potty Training at Night??

Hi L.,

We just went through the same thing. My daughter is almost 3 years old now, and is potty trained since she was two. She was taking her naps in regular panties but always had her diaper at night and it was always wet. About a month ago I just bought for her some new panties thinking forward that may be at some point I will start potty training her at night (I planned for summer, when it is warmer). I told her that these are some special night panties waiting for her and that she can wear them when she stops wetting at night. But she wanted to wear them right away, so we started. The first week she was getting up all wet and I started to think that it is never going to work. But then she just stopped, and now she is waking up dry and runs right to the potty in the morning. It already lasts for over a week, so I guess, we are done! That was not difficult. May be she will still regress, I still give her a choice every evening if she wants to sleep in a diaper or in panties, but she always chooses panties.

You may just want to give it a try and see if it works. Good luck to you!

Jen.

As a mother of 4 I can say all kids are different! Even on this issue. My oldest son used pull ups until 5 and I was sooo ready to be done with them too but his body wasn't. My pediatrician told me not to take the pull ups away until he would wake up dry. He is not being lazy! He sleeps too soundly. I think you should wait till he is dry so you don't make him feel bad.

I had the same issues with my son until I got this advice...
I started cutting off all his liquids after 6pm (at least 2-3 hours before his bedtime). I know that at times that is difficult since they seem to want more drink when they can't have any so what I would do is give him what I called a 'bip' (bit of a sip) meaning approximately about 1/2 of a sip of water to wet his mouth. It did seem tough but eventually it worked out. Don't expect a miracle. My son was 5 before he went a year without accidents but it did help alot.

Hi L., I will just throw in my 2 cents...my daughter was FULLY potty trained at 18 months, day and night. My son, he took MUCH longer, but when he got it, he got it good. I definately think your son is just peeing in his pullup because he can, its there! I would not be putting him in and out of underware, that sends mixed signals. I think I would say it's time to wear his boy boy undies at nap time and at night and put him on a reward system. I'd say when he was dry for like a month straight, put him in underware. But to do this, no drinks for at least an hour before bed, MAKE him go pee before bed (naps and night) and give him postitive reinforcement. What I did with my son because he was such a heavy sleeper was when I woke up to go to the bathroom, I would go wake him up and take him too. Most times he went. He is 6 and I still have a pee pad on his bed "just in case" but rarely does he have accidents. My daughter is 9 and I'm not exaggerating to say she has NEVER had an accident since she was 2. All kids are different tho and as moms we need to figure out what might work best for our own. I hope you find something that will work for you. I think more kids than not are "fully" potty trained, day AND night before the age of 5. Good luck to you!!!!

Lori,

At three and a half he is just too young to expect him to stay dry through the night. His brain/neurological system are not yet developed enough for him to be able to wake up because he has to pee. Not too mention that at that age they sleep much too deeply to wake up. Most children, don't stay dry through the night until closer to age five. There are exceptions to every rule, but both my girls were five and all my nephews were five and older.

Oh L. -- I feel your pain! It can be very frustrating to have a child that can't make it through sleeping without having an accident. I have 4 boys -- 10, 8, 5 and 4 1/2 months. My 3 big boys were all potty trained by 2 years of age. And like you said with your son...they were SOOO easy to train. However, the older two never could make it through the night without peeing the bed. We got them pull-ups and that helped tremendously with them waking up happy and not stressed out. My oldest wore a pull-up until he was 9 years old. My 8 year old STILL wears a pull up - and will sometimes wake up wet anyway...meaning he will pee right through the pullup!! My 5 year old NEVER needed to wear a pull up. My husband was a bed-wetter and according to everything I've read, and what my pediatrician says...if either mom or dad had a bed wetting problem, chances are the offspring of that person will too. It is a very "familiar" issue. Since my husband wet the bed until he was 11 years old, I was not at all surprised that it took so long and is taking so long for my sons to accomplish this milestone. And every child is different. Just please don't think that your son is doing it on purpose or that it's some kind of habit or power struggle issue. As I'm sure you're well aware, one of the harsh realities of parenting is sometimes our kids aren't ready to do the things that we want them to do. We can encourage and help them, but ultimately we can't make them do it. Especially if they're not developmentally ready! My baby couldn't breast feed until he was 11 weeks old. I was successful at breastfeeding my 1st three kids so felt there was no reason why he shouldn't be able to do it, but for whatever reason, he couldn't. And we tried everything. So I patiently pumped my milk all those weeks and continued to offer it to him. Then one day, he finally got it. It was a great lesson for me. So...you may feel like your son SHOULD be able to make it through the night, but chances are he's not ready. However, there are a couple of things you can do to help him -- don't give him anything to drink for a least an hour before he sleeps and make sure he goes to the potty RIGHT before getting into bed and if you go to bed a couple of hours after he does, take him again before you go to bed. But be thankful that we do have pull-ups for them to wear!! In the mornings after an accident, I have my son help me take off his sheets and put them into the washer to help him start to take some responsibility for the situation. It's not a punishment, it's just a way to alleviate the stress on everyone....and it works. They actually enjoy helping and I think it makes them feel better that they are taking care of themselves. We have never made it a big issue with them. It's not like they want to pee the bed, right? Just be patient with your little guy and when the time is right, he will do it. Sorry to get so long winded with this response -- I've just had some experience with this and wanted to share. You're not alone! There is a HUGE percentage of kids who wet the bed. Just hang in there and one of these days it will happen.

Good luck and happy mothering!

The age of staying dry through the night varies with all children. It could take until age 6 or 7...even longer. Whether you decide to get up every night and change bed sheets or let him wear pull -ups, or wake him up a couple times a night so he can go to the bathroom is completely up to you. There are a couple of things that need to be remembered though. He is in control of his own bodily functions; and usually at night, many many children don't have control of waking to use the potty. Letting go of your attachment to when you think he 'should' stay dry through the night will help all of you get through this much easier. I'm sure you'll agree that his emotional development is more important than him "doing it right". You will all get through this at one point or another;)

Best wishes on your parenting journey.

Hi L.!

I know exactly what you are going through. My son will be 4 in April and I had no idea how to potty train him at night. I started in the pull ups and then just stopped using them. I get up pnce every night and wake him to go to the potty. There have been a couple nights that he will wake up on his own in the last couple weeks. There have also been a few times that he has had an accident in his bed. whne this happens I just assure him that accidents happen and change the bed and his clothes then put him back down. I am hoping that one day it will just stop and he will wake up on his own and no more accidents. I am expecting pur 3rd in August and would love to sleep through the night. Anyway just keep at it. If you do go from pull ups to night underware just remember to stay positive.

Good Luck!

M.

Sorry, but some kids just aren't ready that soon. There's lots of scientific evidence that their physiological development takes longer at night. My oldest was potty trained during the day around her second birthday. But it took over TWO more years for her to be consistently dry at night. My second was also done at two, but dry at night. My oldest, just slept so deeply, she couldn't get herself up.

I would suggest getting rid of pullups. I'm not a fan. In the long haul, it's cheaper to use reusable training pants AND it starts them feeling wet at night. Gradually, my daughter would get up, realizing she was wet. You don't really get that with pullups. At first, she'd pee in them and stay fast asleep. Then she'd get up and take them off and eventually she was getting up to pee herself. The ones that could hold the full pees were the Overnight Undies by Mother of Eden, makers of the Fuzzi Bunz diapers.

He has definitely not developed the habit. He really can't wake up. His body can't read the signals yet at night. And by your description of his personality, it could do some damage. Just keep going matter of factly, accepting that lots of people use help at night. It will eventually come. And know your youngest MAY be completely different from your oldest in this realm!

My 3yro is still in nite diapers. If he is waking up wet, he isn't ready. When he starts waking up dry, worry about it then. When he is ready, I did see a suggestion where you double make the bed. A waterproof mattress pad, fitted sheet, 2nd waterproof pad and fitted sheet, then top sheet and blanket. Then when they have an accident, peel off the top layer and your done.

BOTH of my children were potty trained through the night at the same time they were potty trained during the day. My son was exactly three and my daughter was 2.5

I feel that the reason that they were potty trained FULLY from the get go is that once we put them in underwear, we never looked back. The first night or two they wet the bed and we did not make a big deal out of it. They were both co-sleeping with us at the time, so I had gotten soaked by their urine. When I woke to find myself covered in urine, I simply said, "Ewww, yuck, now my clothes are all wet, I guess we will have to clean it up together." We took all the sheets off the bed together and went and washed them. I kept saying, over and over, that we go potty in the toilet and never got angry at them.

This is just what worked for us. We were even poop potty trained all at the same time. I think if you approach this with confidence in your son and get rid of all the diapers and pull ups, you will not feel the urge to rely on them.

When my son potty trained we all made the decision in the car on the way to Costco to buy diapers. I turned to my husband and said, "You know, B is doing so well trying to go on the potty, maybe we just shouldn't buy him any pull-ups at the store today." We didn't. B agreed to go on the potty and when the last pull-up was gone, that was it.

Approach this with love and understanding and don't get angry when he does wet the bed. My nephews were both five before they stopped wetting the bed, so I know that it can take longer, but I just wanted to share what worked for us.

Lori, Your concern is one I also had a year ago. My daughter day trained just after her second birthday, but wore a pull-up at night until just before age 3 1/2 yrs. Then she refused to wear anything to bed but "big girl panties". I changed sheets for 2 or 3 weeks almost nightly until I finally tried taking her to the bathroom once during the night about 2 or 3 a.m. I was up anyway with a new baby, so it wasn't hard to just take her after getting my baby settled. She turned four last week and just this week she has been getting up on her own, going to the bathroom during the night. Hang in there, your son will soon be there too. R. Midwife mom of 2.

Three things. One, some kids sleep so hard that they have a hard time waking up to go to the bathroom. I had one of those - he eventually got old enough to do it. He knew when he could. Two, one of my boys truly believed that prayer would help him and it truly did. Three, there are bedwetters (usually boys) who don't get over it until they are 12 years old or so. I had one of those, also. Michael Landon (the actor father in Little House on the Prairie) was one, too. And he (my son) was also a people pleaser/ type A personality. Everything I've read/ seen/ heard is that you simply have to wait until they "know" that they will be okay. There was just one day when he "knew" when he was near 12. And it was such a relief because of sleepovers, etc. He truly wanted to stop - he quit drinking at night, set the alarm, everything we could think of, but nothing worked. After he was too old for diapers, I had an agreement with him - he would wake up early and throw his sheets and pajamas into the washer and wipe his rubber sheet down and spray it. I would try to have his brothers not tease him - that was hard - and finish off the laundry and put it back on his bed. I always told him that I knew he could get over it someday and that I loved him. It finally happened. And he is a wonderful father of three now - none of them have problems that way. Good luck!

My (3.5 year old) little man still has accidents at night. He's excellently potty-trained during daytime, but he's a very deep sleeper and, though I know he wants to stay dry (he's always kind of sad in the morning when he's had an accident, even though I've never gotten mad at him for it), I'd say he pees in his bed 2 nights a week on average. (that waterproof pad is awesome!) It makes for a lot of laundry but I think it's better that he feels wetness than that the pull up keeps it from bothering him. I've read that boys may wet the bed through age 5-7 and most doctors won't even consider it a problem until then. Just keep encouraging and reminding him to get up and go to the bathroom if he feels he has to pee. Try to be patient about it. Be really happy when he wakes up with a dry bed. And try to cut off his drinks a couple hours before bedtime. (I'm not so good at this part!)

We had some real success (went from 5 wet nights to 2) when we made him a little chart and he got a matchbox car for every three stars (three dry nights) that he had... then we did some bigger rewards for more stars (17 and he got a racecar track for his cars and he did it! he was so proud!) We would remind him to try not to pee his bed that night, every night before bed, and he really did try hard. :) Now, I know that's bribery and all (we've retreated a little from it since the success and may try again in another month or so) but it worked. :)

Good luck with your little men!

Hi L.. My son was also a super easy potty trainer, and we did the same exact thing you did... we didn't expect him to be able to hold it all night when he was barely 2 years old. He too woke up daily with a full diaper. When he was about 2 months from his 3rd birthday, we decided to take the diapers away completely and give him a shot. We found that he was going in his diaper because he could. When we explained to hiim that he was going to wear underpants now, he totally understood and I think only ever had one accident, which was during his nap. So my suggestion would be to just give him a shot in his underpants. Maybe start with nap, and get him used to that first, before you tackle nighttime. Good luck!!!

I was really nervous to start letting my daughter wear underwear to bed at night and durnig naps. when she turned three i thought i would just take the chance and try. so, what i did was i stopped giving her anything to drink after dinner time. which was around 6-7. also, i would make her go to the bathroom before bedtime. even if she said she didnt have to go. she would sit there until she did. a few times she would wake up crying and i knew she had to go, so, i would run her to the bathroom. honestly, she maybe only had a handfull of accidents. shes gonna be 4 in a couple of months. maybe i just got lucky. i guess we'll find out when my littlest one is ready to pottytrain. goodluck

Most kids boys or girls aren't old enough 3 or 4 to "learn" how to not wet the bed at night. You've got him potty trained during the day, that's great. All kids are different. If he's wetting in his pull-up at nap time, and night time. He's not ready. My twin girls..Olivia that the oldest and morgan the younger one.. They were both potty trained during the day by 4, but at night was a different story. Morgan potty trained herself by the middle of pre-k, and olivia didn't until she was in kindergarden.

All you can do is encourage him to try to wake up. Like, make a star chart. If he doesn't have a wet pull-up 3 days out of the week. Do something special. A friend of mines son, didn't stop wetting the bed til the middle of 1st grade.

On a more personal note, didn't stop wetting the bed until I got my first period at 12. After a certain age, wetting the bed can be more sicological. I tried everything I could, even set alarms and it didn't help. I had so much pressure from my parents, that i figured out that was why I was wetting the bed.

Do stress and don't push. He'll potty train at night soon enough. :)

His body may not be ready for sleeping through naptime or the evening...that takes longer to potty train and is normal. That will come with time.
K.