Potty Training Daughter

there are 2 things that i would recommend. 1) try putting on undies UNDER a pull-up. that way she is still getting the feeling of the wet fabric against her skin, but you dont have to scrub the whole floor every time there is an accident. ok, now no one get mad, because i know that this sounds mean, but i have worked in childcare for years and this really helps! have her change herself when she has an accident. stand in the doorway, help if needed, but have her do it. for a lot of kids, when they realize that they have to do ALL the work, they are a lot more inclined to tell you more often. she will get it eventually! dont worry!

good luck!
L. C.
http://www.PerfectWorkForMoms.com

We had a very similar situation (3 year old daughter dealing with a move and new sibling, plus she's stubborn as hell). What worked for us--on the advice of our Parents as Teachers Educator-was DROP IT. I thought I had dropped it (or as you say, given up) before, but my husband and I would still end up making comments here and there or talking about it in front of her. What we tried was to not mention anything related to potty-training or the bathroom AT ALL, in any context. Plus, when she told us she went in her panties, etc., to not say anything, not let on that we were frustrated, to not even make eye contact when changing her, just to be as business-like as possible, don't chat, just change her as fast as you can and put her down. We tried this (pretty dubiously, but it was what our educator said specifically to do), and literally within a day, she was going on the potty. We didn't realize how much she liked the attention of us griping about her going when we had just asked her if she had to, even the attention of the actual diaper change itself (and this is not a kid starved for attention). Within one day, she was going on the potty herself and coming and bragging about it to us. I'm not saying she was 100% potty trained from then on, but it ended the power struggle that we didn't even realize we were engaged in. People say 'let them do it when they are ready,' but you have to understand that means truly letting them take the reigns by not mentioning it or forcing it AT ALL. Right now she's got you all worked up. Even though she isn't getting the Tinkerbell toy, she gets to talk about it and hear you talk about it, there is all kinds of special stuff around pertaining to the issue (stickers, candy)--we don't realize as adults that's a pay-off in itself for kids. When you adopt a ho-hum whatever attitude, it's not a fun game for her anymore.

Obviously, this is just my experience, but I was blown away by how instantly I could tell it was working.

Hello S., Let me start off by saying I know how frustrated you are. I have a 3 1/2 year old son who is still not potty trained. He will pee most of the time in the toilet but he will not poop in the toilet still. What worked really well to get him to stop peeing in his underwear was to let him go with out anything on from the waist down. He didn't want to pee on the floor so he started telling me when he had to go and now he will tell me and run in by himself and go. I just wish I could get him to poop on the potty. I have tried everything room candy to stickers to giving him coins to put in his piggy bank but he still won't poop on the potty. I'm trying to be patient with him but it is hard. I just wanted to tell you I understand where you are coming from and to wish you luck with everything.

S.,
This was the most trying time for me. I was doing daycare in my home and trying to be in the bathroom with my children at the same time. I tried the "potty chart" didn't work. What did work was the same concept; instead of having the word PRIZE at the end on the chart...I bought the prize and set it next to a small vase with which my children filled with 1 pretty marble each time they pottied or pooped on the potty. IF they had an accident they had to remove a marble. They knew that the PRIZE was only a vase away. The other thing we did was that my children set the timer on our microwave for 1 hour OR 45 min or whatever time we thought they should go back and sit on the potty. So when the "timer" went off it was the timers fault they had to sit on the potty, not ours. (We weren't interupting their fun time.) we also had a potty song.

And the vase technique works for behaviorial things too. If there is a certain behavior you want to change or incourage you add a marble towards the good behavior and remove when you see the one you don't want. It is wonderful for parents who seem to only give attention to the negative. Instead we reward and see the positive.

Hope this helps. GOOD LUCK!!

I would suggest setting a timer for 20 minutes and having your daughter sit on the potty every time. If she goes, great (maybe give her 1 skittle for trying? 2 for peeing, 3 for pooping?). If she doesn't, at least she tried. It's good that she's wanting to wear panties, but it sounds like she's not recoginizing the signs in time to get to the potty when she has to go. I would not punish or scold her...this will only set her back. I do not think your son going to kindergarten will affect her potty training. Make a big deal when she goes....and don't worry when she doesn't or has an accident. Just tell her "That's okay, we all have accidents. Next time, try to tell mommy before you have to go and we'll run to the potty!" Try to make it a game! She may be too small to understand 'prizes' because they are long term. She may need something more short term and more instant (such as the Dum Dum). My daughter just turned 2 and we've had the potty around for a few months and we're slowly incorporating it!

Potty training is absolutely no fun. Since your daughter doesn't like the diaper, I would put it on her (it will be a struggle) and tell her that she does not get to wear big girl undies until she can show you that she did potty and poo in the toilet. If she has an accident after the undies are on, put the diaper on her again. Unfortunately this will require a lot of work but probably will not go on for more then a week. Remember, actions speak louder then words especially to the little ones who have great selective hearing! Good luck to you and your daughter!

We tried the potty chart with my daughter too (she was right around 2 1/2, maybe a little younger) but I think she was too young to understand the concept of getting a sticker every time she went potty until she worked her way to a prize because it didn't work for her. I went to the store and bought a bunch of cheap/cheaper toys (dolls, coloring books, crayons, books, hair ribbons, candy, anything I knew she would like) and wrapped them all in wrapping paper and put them in a box. I would let her pick out a present EVERY time she went potty. Yes, it was a bit pricey to do this but so are Pull-Ups so I figured bribery was cheaper than continuing to buy pull ups every week. It really only took a couple months and she had the hang of it. Once she got to the point where the accidents were fewer and I felt she had the hang of the whole potty thing I stopped buying presents and bought tons of sticker sheets and hung a blank piece of posterboard on my bathroom wall. When she went potty I would give her a whole sticker sheet and let her put the stickers on the posterboard. That way she could see them fill it up with all her potty stickers. Of course, I also made up a potty song and sang it to her while she was going potty and made a REALLY REALLY big deal out of her going on the potty - clapping, cheering, dancing. Make it something fun to do instead of something she has to do. I also always let her go with me when I go to the bathroom (if she wants to, I don't make her).

Having said all that, don't stress about it too much, and don't get angry with her. Hard, I know, but I think that will make it worse for her. She'll get it!!

For cheap toys, if you decide to go this route, check out the dollar bins at the front of Target stores, Deals, Dollar General, garage sales, Once Upon a Child. You can find good deals if you look for them!

Good luck!!!!

If she is really attached to her underwear, you might try throwing a pair away. You can say "Mommy doesn't clean poppy underwear. I'm sorry. but we will have to throw this princess pair away." It worked for my friend on the first try. Her daughter was devistated to lose a pair.

For other options, here is a link from the University of Michigan that helped me: http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_btrainin_hhg.htm

Have you thought about allowing her to go naked from the waist down, or wear a dress without undies on? Eventhough undies don't feel exactly like a diaper, it is still something against her skin assimilating a diaper. There may be a few accidents on the floor at first, but if you redirect her to the potty as quickly as you can (mid-accident if you can), then if she is ready, she will catch on quickly. If you have a full weekend (or two or three days while your son is at school) that you can devote to working with her on this and spending as much time with and/or near her as possible to redirect accidents, you should be able to tell if she is ready.

It took my son about a week before he was ready to be in underwear full time, but then he was in it night and day. He has only had about 3 or 4 nighttime accidents (and they were usually in the morning because we didn't make it to the bathroom in time), and only has accidents at daycare (I think he gets too busy to stop sometimes?). Though for the last 3 weeks he has been accident-free!

As hard as it is, treat accidents as non-chalantly as you can. She is NOT doing this on purpose, and getting angry with her could create an aversion to potty learning (because she is actually learning something -- just like colors, numbers, etc.) as a whole. Just something like "Pee/poop goes in the potty. Next time you need to go, let me know, and I will help." If after 3 or 4 days, she doesn't seem to be getting it. Stop for a week or two, and then try again.

I agree with pp -- try to relax. She will not go to college in diapers. It will happen in time and ONLY when she is ready. This isn't something you can force -- only gently guide. If she is resistant, there won't be much you can do but to give it time.

I didn't use rewards with the exception of praise, celebration, dancing, etc. Micah was just shy of 25 months when he was in full time undies.

Letting her wear a dress or nothing works the best - as another mom suggested. But truthfully, she is going through a lot of changes - new baby and getting a brother ready for his first day of "school" - which has to be a little tramatic for mommy too. Wait until brother is in school and try again then when it is just you, the big girl, and the baby. Good luck - I got my full time grandson trained at 2 1/2 but when ever he goes to his other Nana (who has a 6 month old) he has accidents when he gets home. We let him clean them up himself with no arguments or condemnation and by the next day he is back on schedule.

any kind of punishment will only set you and her back. setting a timer is a great way to help remind her. some kids don't get potty trained till 4 so hang in there. there is always going to be accidents untill she can control all of the muscles down there.

I've got an 18 month old daughter and we got her a potty so that she will be used to it by the time we really start working with her. once in awhile I will sit her on it and sometimes she won't sit on it unless i pull the seat off and put it on the big potty. This could also be the issue some kids don't like little potties they rather have the rings on the big toilet and be able to go where you go.

just don't make her feel bad when she goes in her panties or pullups. its still early and control takes awhile. but one thing i have heard is that if she poops at the same times of the day start putting her on the potty around those times and you can at least get her trained to poop in the toilet and then take the time later to pee in the toilet.

First of all, try to relax. This is hard for her. She probably doesn't expect to be able to use the potty reliably, herself, so your being disappointed when she doesn't isn't going to help motivate her.

That said, she might benefit from incentives for actually using the potty. We just recently potty trained my daughter, who wasn't very interested, but had the skills by offering her 2 m&ms for every successful potty trip. That was enough to motivate her to start trying, but in her case, we still, 1 month later, have 2 or so accidents/week. With my son, I just waited until he was interested, and he stopped using diapers that day, no accidents at ~2.5 years.

Pullups were just like diapers for both kids.

You must NOT get upset scold or punish her for not going in the potty. She is 2.5 and her mind is still developing and it is hard enough for her to learn each day. We are in the process of doing our 2.5 yr old grandchild. She did the same thing she started then stopped and we just kept kindly encouraging her. Ask every hour and use incentives, They have a sticker board she gets to picka nd put on there and she also received praise from the entire family when they come over. We would tell people she went on her potty and they would also praise her. So give her time the Dr said she will do it when she is ready. P.S she just had a sister 3 months ago also.

I agree with Laura Z. Back off. Let her lead the process, let her tell you when she's ready for the next step and what it will be. Let her own this achievement for herself, rather than doing it to please you. My daughter made a lot of progress after I quit talking about potty, put the potties away even, until she started asking for them again. It took a couple months, but when she was ready, it happened. Didn't matter if I was ready or not.