Potty Training for 3 1/2 Year Old Who Refuses

B.,

You're having a time it seems. Try to make a game out of it. It sounds silly but put baout 2 or 3 cherio's in the potty. Get him a stool to stand on. Tell him to aim. Make a chart. Everytime he "sinks" a cherio sive him a star or a sticker. at first give a reward with each star or sticker as he gets better. ket him get 4 or 5 star's before the reward. Also, don't use diapers or pull ups at all. It's a pain on you- yes, but let him feel the pee on him. He'll get tired of it. Stress how yucky the pee is. Be patient. He'll be potty trained soon!
E.- single mom of 2

I agree with the rest of the people who have said just use real underwear (or thick ones) but NO pull ups or diapers. If he's 3 he should understand and will grasp the concept quickly. Yes you may be cleaning up pee (and maybe poop) for a couple days but it will be worth it. I put both of mine in underwear and it worked wonders. My son did really well (he was potty trained at 21 months) and my daughter took a little longer (she's not as patient). It also helped for at night because they arent use to wearing diapers. Then limit the drinks at night and work on that. I would just be patient but firm. Good Luck.

For my son we just sat him down and said we aren't going to buy anymore Pull-Ups. you are a big boy and need to start going on the potty like one. That very day he started going very well. I did cheerio targets and even food coloring. Drop a few drops in after he goes and let him watch the color swirl.

As far as Pull-Ups go most children treat them as diapes. I switched my son to the thick underwear with the plastic and he did well with them. he could feel when he was wet and he didn't like it. Don't let people upset you because he will pick up on it.

As for the director she was way out of line with her comment. Don't let her bother you. He will do it on his own time. You might check out Chuck E Cheese website, they have a potty chart thing that your child can get free tokens. I know mine love chuck E Cheese so it would work for us. O am trying to train my 2 year old and it isn't going all that well yet. I find I don't have the time to really focus on it with cleaning and older child.

It is not easy but one day it will click in his head and he will get it down.

I used the thick underwear. I never used pull ups, because they are so much like diapers and I think the children get confused. Once he starts going in the underwear, he'll hate it and start going on the potty. It took about 2 weeks for me to potty train my son using the underwear. He would wear a diaper to school and as soon as we got home, I'd put thick underwear on him. You have to ask every 10 minutes or so if he has to go to the bathroom and occassionally take him and sit him there, because he will go and not tell you he has to. But, like your friends said, he will let you know when he is ready. Good luck!

I have 3 kids. I have now potty trained 2 kids. Each one is different. With my son it was real easy but with my daughter it took some time. With my daughter i had to put her in her underwear and when she peeed i made her stay in her wet underwear just for about 5 or 10 mins. just so she would learn that she did not like the feeling of being wet. Plus I would make her go sit on the potty every 2 hrs. no matter what. I did not ask her if she had to go potty i just told her lets go potty and after a week she was comeing and telling me that she had to go potty by the 2nd week she was going by herself. E-mail me and let me know how it turns out. I hope this works for you like it did with me.

Hi B., I know you probably don't won't to hear this, but the best thing you can do is to stop buying pullups and diapers immediately. I have 5 kids, ages 24, 13, 11, 8 and 8 and 3 grandkids ages 4, 18 months, and 4 months, and I was also a foster parent for 8 years, so I feel like I am quite experienced in this matter. LOL I went through this with my 24 year old and my 8 year old and just went through it with the 4 year old grand daughter. It seems like when they have the security of the diaper or pullup (same thing actually) they feel like they have "permission" to use it in the diaper. If you will put underwear on him as soon as he gets up in the morning and make him continue to wear them all day even if you have to change his clothes and underpants 13 times each day, it will only take a few days to a week before he figure out that peeing and pooping in underwear is not pleasant. You can use pull ups or diapers at night, but for consistency, I would recommend that you buy some rubber pants (available in toddler sizes at walmart in neat patterns) and put them on over the undies at night and place an adult underpad on the bed under him. My grand daughter turned 4 in October and was still using pull ups. Her mom tried everything in the book just like you did and when I finally convinced her to make her wear underwear she started going to the potty after about the 2nd day. Now my daughter says she wishes she had listened to me 2 years ago when I told her to throw the pull ups out. She still has occasional accidents at night, which is to be expected but we just change her panties and change the pad without making a big fuss about it because we know that night dryness will come as she gets a little older. A lot of 4 year old have night time accidents so don't be surprised if you have to deal with this for a while longer. Also, the best reward for him using the potty like a big boy is for you to praise him and tell him how proud you are of him. Kids this age love to get the approval and praise of their parents and try really hard to get it.
Hope this helps some.

V.

My little boy was just over three when he finally was in underpants...and he still has accidents. Bottom line is do what you feel is best for you and your boy. If he still needs to be in pull-ups/diapers than just do it. I actually let my boy be naked around the house as much as possible, no underwear or diapers and he started using the potty. When he has a diaper/pull-up on he gets lazy. But, what works for him and what works for your little one will be different. Why rush too much, right? Every kid hits development points at different times so give him some space. Just my opinion! Good luck. By the way...what mother's day out do you use? I have been looking into them which is why I ask. Do you like it? Thanks, J.
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Get rid of the pull-ups!! Stay home for a week or so and just do it. You might even have to let him run around naked. My son would pee fine if I put him on but would not tell me when he had to go on his own. He would not poop on the potty either. He kept telling me he would do it when he was 3. A couple of weeks after his bday, he was on fall break from preschool and I decided that this was the time. I threw away the pull-up and got big kid underwear. I also got some vinyl training pants to go over the underwear to keep accidents a little more contained. When he had an accident, he had to help clean it up. He hated the pee running down his leg. When he pooped in his pants, I made him help dump it int the potty and clean it up. We startred on Saturday. He had accidents Sat, Sun, Mon. No poop on tuesday. On Wed. we had to return books to the library that were due that day. I was very nervous because I knew he was due to poop. No accidents though. When we got home, he pooped on the potty for the first time. After that, he got a sucker (a special treat) every time he pooped on the potty and a sticker on a potty chart (for poop only). When the chart was full, he got to pick out a toy at the toy store. He was comp;letel;y trained within a week. Good luck!

I had written a few times with different suggestions that worked for us. Feel free to check through them, click on my name, and it will send you to my files.
Good luck!

When i first started to potty train mine he was just turning 2. I tried the "cool underwear" first. but they are so use to diaper that as long as something is up against the skin it a diaper and they will be in it. So At home I let him run around with just a shirt no underwear or pants, naked. and he went to the potty when he had to go because there was not anything to pee in but the potty.

When I trained my daughter she would sit on the potty for long periods of time without going and then go in her diaper. I just started putting underwear on her and she hated the feeling of being wet. I told her she was too big for diapers and had to wear panties and she would have to go to the potty if she didnt want to feel wet. It worked pretty well, although it can be messy at first, its worth it!

Hi B.,

When it gets a little warmer let him run around naked at home. Put the potty chair out in the room you use the most and ask him if he needs to go tee tee. If he has an accident on the floor make him help you clean up. I did this with my first and he helped me clean up maybe twice and then decided that he would go in the potty rather than clean up.

For poop, I got hot wheels and told him everytime he pooped in the potty he would get to pick one out. He went the same day I explained it to him and he picked out a car and never pooped in his pants again. It took about a month for him to stop asking for "poopy cars". Good LUCK!!!

P.S. My second is almost potty trained and I have done the same thing with him.

K.

My son would not potty train either. I tried 3 times. The first 2 were frustrating for me and him. Once tried for 2 months - no luck.
Have you tried haveing him run around without and pants or underwear, just bare bottom. I set a timer every hour and we went potty every hour and if he didn't potty then every 5 minutes. Because he was naked I could see him pee pee, I could tell him, "no, no" only on the potty. It's better when it is warm and you can do it outside. I also, put fruit loops in the potty so he could pee pee on them. Once I knew he could control his bowels. I pushed hard and we were potty trained in 2 weeks - total. We do at times have accidents, but after a month of being potty trained I the accidents are very rare.

I know this is going to sound mean but we were at are wits end with our son. He would pee and then want to put on a pull up for the other. So, we told him no. We told him if he would go on the potty all the time he would get to go to disney world and see Mickey. He finally started to go but only because we sat there with him and would not let him get up until he done his buisness and it took a few times of him throwing a fit and to crying but we finally got through. It took about a week and a half. That was just right after his Birthday that we got through it. I hope this helps.

Take your time. I have 3 children. My oldest potty trained himself before he was 2!!!! Then came my next son. WOW was I in for a rude awakening!!! I tried all the same things that you have and nothing ever worked, he was a very intelligent little boy.(reading on a 5th grade level, comprehending on a 4th and he is in the 1st grade!) However he wouldnt go potty!!!!!!!!! Finally at his 4 year check up the pediatrician said stop getting frustrated. He told me NOT to scold the negative behavior, only to reward the positive. Thats what we started doing and it started working, the less we pushed, the more interested he became. We did toss out diapers and pull ups at home. He could only wear underwear when we were athome and he didn't like the wet feeling of them. (the ones that get cold didnt seem to faze him either) We used the thick gerber underwear with the plastic pant covers when we were going out..take extra though!
Lots of prayer helped too. Hope this helps. Let me know how it goes.

Oh yeah, then I had my daughter when he was 2 years old....she potty trained before he did!!!

I would put him in real underwear. The only time I would let my little girl wear pull-ups while we were potty training is when she slept at night. We called them sleeping pantys. I would put the underwear on him and then no turning back. Keep rewarding just like you have been. if he does have an accident make him wait a few minutes before changing him to make him realize that it is uncomfortable. I know that it is scary, but you are going to have to just bite the bullet. Good luck!

Hi B.,

I went through the same stage. In summer I let my son stay naked and when he was peeing , I collected it in the potty bowl and let him put it in the toilet and flush it. He was very excited that he made water for throwing and some how got trained. But it took a while to master the art. He was sleeping dry through the night. So I am sure in this summer, your little boy will get potty trained definitely.