Potty Training HELP - Watertown,NY

Updated on January 09, 2008
K.C. asks from Watertown, NY
22 answers

My son is almost 3 and we are in the middle of potty training. He did very good at first except at night. Well now he will not go at all at night. And he tends to pee on the floor at least twice a day sometimes more. I have tried to explain that is not what you do a million times. I have even tried time out.If I use pull ups he will not use the potty he takes it off and goes on the floor or he goes in it. He always poops in the toilet though. He just has a problem peeing. Can anyone help me Please. I am getting very upset and want to give up.

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S.B.

answers from New York on

maybe you won't like this advice, but ==== you could try forgetting about it for a few weeks. is it worth all this aggravation? Maybe if you just put him in diapers again and let him come around on his own, it'll work. He knows you get worked up about the peeing on the floor, so it's an attention getter. i know how terribly frustrating it is, but it too shall pass.

good luck

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Hey hang in there it will get better- I have 4 kids 7,6,3,2
and for me i found that keeping them naked for a day or two worked the best- the pull ups tend to feel like a diaper- does he have the ability to tell you when he has to go- keep in mind i also experienced that pushing something that they may not be ready for could be more frustrating for you. good luck and keep me posted

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J.S.

answers from New York on

I have two boys. My older one was trained at a little over 3, and the younger one was trained a little before 3. I did a few things to speed things along, and avoid drama. Oh.. first, let me just say that my friend used to put Cheerios in the toilet and have her son aim for them when he peed. He loved it, and it worked. =) I used a potty chart and a potty bag. The potty chart I printed up on the computer with times of day that he might pee. Ie: when he got up, after breakfast, before lunch, after lunch, etc. We went to the store and I let him pick out a book of stickers that he liked. So each time he went on the potty, he got to pick out his sticker and put it on the chart that I taped to the bathroom mirror. (his stickers were all kinds of bugs) Second, I also had a potty bag in the closet in the bathroom. We decorated a brown shopping bag with crayons and stickers and wrote "POTTY BAG" on it. I took him to the dollar store and he picked out a ton of little things to put in the bag. Little dinosaurs, cars, etc. All of these things got dumped into the bag, and the bag was closed up. Each time he went to the potty, he put a sticker on the chart, then got to reach in the bag...without looking...and pull out a toy. He never knew what it was going to be, but it would definitely be something he liked since he picked them all out himself. If he didn't go on the potty, he did NOT get to pick something out of the bag. No exceptions. This worked like a charm, and within a week and a half, there were no more accidents. Hope this helps! Good luck! Don't give up!

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E.B.

answers from New York on

My own bit of advice would be to relax. With my own son, it seemed like the more I pushed and coaxed, the less effective it was. When my son turned three, it was like the magic switch turned on, and all of a sudden he was wearing underwear and was potty-trained. I feel like once I let go and let him look to other children for example, particularly at pre-school, he took care of it on his own.

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M.D.

answers from New York on

I heard there is a new plastice "urinal" for young boys- think I saw it in the right start catalog- supposedly boys that are taught to pee standing up have an easier time? That was what the ad said. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from New York on

Hi Kae. I had a similar problem with my son who turned 3 in September. I tried it all and then eventually asked my pediatrician for advice. He told me to buy him "big boy" underwear. He said to let him pick them out as a prize or reward, this way he knew to take care of them since they were all his. Then he told me to put his favorite sheets on his bad and tell him that we could not do potty on his favorite sheets. He also told me to let him run around the house in just his underwear on and let him show them off to you. I know this sounds funny, but my son loved teh attention so much that he stopped going to the bathroom in them. Then I introduced him to standing up which he got a kick out of. I would put food coloring drops in the toilet to show him all the colors that we could make the water. We also made what we call is the "prize jar". Everytime he went on the potty, he was able to pick 1 piece of his favorite candy out of the jar for doing such a great job.

It took a good 2 -3 weeks of very hard effort to get it going, but now he is trained.

I hope this helps you out cause believe me, i know exactly how bad you want to pull your hair out! :)

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A.S.

answers from New York on

First off, if he's not ready, nothing will work. Getting upset with him will only delay the whole process. What worked for us for both potty training and going to sleep alone at night was to lavish praise on him when he did what we wanted, and avoid reacting to what behavior we didn't want--ignore the please/screaming at night (only lasted a few nights), teach him to clean up after himself after an accident--without any emotion, just matter-of-fact here are the towels, this is how you clean it up. We also used the hospital-style bed pads on the floor, furniture, bed at night.

What did the most for our son was a calendar and sticker reward system. We focused on one thing at a time, like using the potty to pee during the day. At first, every time he used the potty he got a sticker, and when he had a pre-set number of stickers, he got the reward that was also pre-determined (in our case, always some Lego thing). Once he got good at using the potty, we switched it to one sticker for a full day of using the potty/no accidents. Once he mastered that, and when he was ready we focused on staying dry at night. Our last success was getting him to sleep in his own bed all night--40 nights in a row with a sticker every morning on the calendar and he got a Lego x-wing fighter.

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from New York on

I know people will tell you that it is wrong to bribe a toddler with candy, but it works and has been used to toilet train children for centuries! I used M&M's as they were very small and very desireable. I kept a jar on the counter in the kitchen, in sight but out of reach. When my children went on the potty they got one for peeing and two for pooping. As soon as they were able to stay dry for a week I would give them a hand full at the end of the week as a reward along with a toy prize. It worked like magic.

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A.S.

answers from New York on

When my children were younger, and at the potty training stage, they wore regular big boy underwear. After they ate or drank something I would ask if they had to go and they would be escorted to the bathroom just to make sure. You need to keep an eye on him and when he looks like he is squirming you scoop him up and into the bathroom he goes so he understands going on the floor at any time is unacceptable. Until he understands that is the proper behavior, he needs your consistent attention/survellience. My mother in law also purchased "targets" that were dropped in the toilet and used as something to aim at...they were totally flushable. Boys do take longer than girls and they have to be ready, their schedule not what might be more convenient for you (I don't mean that in a mean way to you).

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S.R.

answers from New York on

My son is 11 now. He potty trained late. He also is still a bedwetter (bedwetting is genetic so if you or his father were bedwetters, you need to take that into account in how you handle potty training). There are a lot great things in the posts -- things like:

1. Maybe he's not ready and give it break then try again.
2. don't use pullups/diapers -- he needs to feel the wetness.
3. Timers/regularly bring him to the toilet.
4. I didn't try rewards with my son so I don't know about that.

Here's the thing that most successfully helped my son with not peeing in his pants: Make it Fun! Some ideas:

1. In warm weather, peeing outside is fun. Try to see if you can aim it anything! Or, even peeing in the snow might be fun. Get his Dad to have a peeing contest with him in the snow.

2. They sell floaty things for the toilet that when your son pees on them, turn different colors. This is fun! I think you could probably find them online.

3. Be imaginative. The possibilities are endless.

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A.R.

answers from New York on

Hi i have two boys one is almost 6 and the other is 3, potty training for the first was stressful but he was trained a little before 3 as for my 3 year he was my challange but i am a woman we can handle anything well that is what i am told. As for your little man , what i did was stand him up in front of the potty in the middle of the night and just tell him to go pee it is okay he is in the bathroom. During the day i used you know those thick traing pants that our parents put on us. I had like 20 pairs i know that sounds crazy but it kept me sane so i do more laundry i have a lot of free time . ha-ha!! If he did have an accident in them i said that is okay but you really should get it in the potty. I also talk about what a big boy he is and that he gets to wear cool big boy underwear, like spiderman ,lighting mcuine,batman.Well don't get upset keep smiling we're supermoms we can manage anything.By the way i am 35 year old mom.

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T.G.

answers from New York on

We potty trained my little guy this summer just before he was 2 1/2. We tried several techniques over two days that worked great. After the 2 days he was good to go.

1. sit him on the potty backwards (if he's not standing) and let him pee to hit cheerios

2. they have a potty magnet book at the book store and everytime he peed in the potty we did a potty song and he got to go put a magnet up

3. after a full week of peeing on his own we had a "pee pee in the potty" party at the ice cream store

4. we started by taking him to the potty every 2 hours until he started saying he had to go on his own

5. we got him naked on the first day so he realized what the sensation was - although it looks like you might be beyond that now.

Night time is very hard for children - especially boys. If he's doing great during the day at 3 that's fantastic. Give night time more time. If you've had any big changes - school, move, sibling etc. then that may cause the delay.

just relax and don't push it - he'll follow your lead

good luck

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J.R.

answers from Rochester on

I'm in that same boat!! what has worked for me is making it a game, stock up on cheerios. throw some in the toilet and get him to "shoot" the cheerios, and reward him when he does what you want him to do, if it works for you then great, if it doesn't don't give up, give him a break and try again in a couple of days... talk it up, make a big deal of becoming a "big boy" and follow through with any little perk when your goal is achieved. Good luck!!!

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L.L.

answers from New York on

For my little girl I created a Potty Chart and let her put stickers on each time. She too has gone backwards at time but usually it is in response to something. Did something change in his routine? Is he just seeking attention. When he has accidents don't focus too much on it, just clean it up say everyone makes mistakes and try to do better next time. It is so hard but you don't want him to get upset everytime he has to go. Also don't let him drink anything if you can at least an hour before bed,that helps a lot too.

Good Luck

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T.C.

answers from New York on

Hello,
My son is now 2 1/2 he has been potty trained since he was 1 1/2 what I did was bought him underwear not pull-ups yes he may have a few accidents but once he has those underwear all the time he will not either want to pee pee on who ever the characters are or just get tired of being wet...also if he is using a reg. potty chair switch over to the big potty get him a step stool and let him go like Daddy does my son feels like the biggest kid by being able to go like Daddy does is Daddy helping that makes a big difference as well...they sell those potty seats at Walmart that sit on top of the toilet unless the potty you have comes apart to do that as well trust me that's the best thing and whenever you go places leave him in his underwear and you just have to be on top of asking does he have to go and take is potty seat with you in case he has to poop he has to start felling like a big boy to start acting like one use the good night pull ups at night only or at nap time but then they come right off after!! try getting him the boxer briefs I think the are more comfortable the the reg. briefs...good luck

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C.R.

answers from New York on

Don't despair! My son was very resistant to potty training also and I did lots of research and consulted with my pediatrician and a therapist. Turns out that boys typically take much longer to train than girls and have more incidents of backsliding also. My son was well over three when he trained to do number one, and almost five by the time he was fully trained for number two, and I was assured by my doctors that he was completely normal. The best thing to do is remain calm and consistent in your routine. When he is ready it will literally happen overnight. Hang in there!

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

i don't have any boys, but plenty of friends with boys. they all said that daddy and cheerios work every time. whenever daddy's home, and either daddy has to go, or your son has to go, have them go in together and have him say "watch, this is how big boys go peepee just like daddy" my 1 friend's son always says NO, i want to peepee like daddy, or i'm a big boy and peepee like daddy. also when daddy's not home, (or even when he is) put the cheerios in the toilet and tell him to aim and shoot, and it makes it fun. once a friend's son cried because he messed in his pants, she said it was ok, accidents happen and he told her it wasn't because he peed in his pants, it was because he missed the chance to shoot the cheerios lol! well, good luck, hope some of the suggestions you get help.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I'm starting to train my 2 year old and based on what everyone has told me, you should not punish a child if they do it wrong. Encouraging him to go by giving a treat or toy when he does go is positive reinforcement. Punishing him when he doesn't go is still reinforcement to a child. He knows taht he shouldn't be peeing on the floor, you telling him its wrong isn't helping. When he goes poopie on the toilet, give him a treat, toy, sticker, etc (or do it on a chart and after x many then he gets a treat) and tell him that when he does pee he will get the same special treatment. When he sees that he gets nothing when he pees on teh floor, he'll make that connection in his head. This has been working for my 2 year old son and has worked for my friends who are now training. Also, Pull Ups are just a glorified diaper. Try putting him in underwear--yes, you'll have to clean up messes, but he will quickly tire of being wet all the time. Good luck!

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L.E.

answers from New York on

i agree... do not punish him for doing something that he may not yet be able to control. my son was 3.5 before he was totally ready for underwear. it's not worth the struggle and he will do it when he is ready not when you are. his body may not be at the stage where he can control it. we still have accidents and my son is almost 5. boys are more difficult to train so just go with how he feels and try not to stress. they pick up on every vibe!

also, try using a timer or the kitchen stove timer... then it is up to him to go when it buzzes... about every 1/2 hr-45 min... see what time sched works for you, but this way, it is his responsibility. just keep reminding yourself that he will not go to kindergarten in diapers! :)

-L.
http://designsbyleanne.blogspot.com/

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J.W.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi,
Sounds like a familiar problem. My son is 3 now and just potty trained recently. I had to suck up my fears of my son peeing on my furniture and put underwear on him, not a pull-up. He knew when he was in a pull-up and would go in it. It took over a week of him peeing in his underwear. At first I was really frustrated and then took a step back and remembered that if I make a big deal out of it, and especially if you punish, it is not good for their self-esteem and really hinders the training process. My son acted like he didn't care at first when he would pee himself in his underwear, which was most frustrating. I put those nursing home pads on our furniture to reduce my frustration. I have some pamphlets on potty training your toddler that are really good. They mention specifically about night time training that you should wait until at least a month after a child's last accident to work on night training, but that it is developmentally normal for a child to not be night trained until they are 5 even. Hang in there! I can attest to it being a very frustrating process at times, but the more pressure you put on your child to do it (through words or punishment) the more likely they are to resist. Good for him though with the bowel training though!! That was the most exciting thing for me, but also came first for my son. We would remind him every 30 minutes or so to try to use the potty until he was better at bringing himself there, but didn't fight with him that he must use it. We also used potty treats! We had a huge basket of little toys and treats from the dollar store on top of the fridge and would tell him if he sat on the potty he could have a treat. Then that slowly became if he went on the potty he got a treat. Eventually that became intermittent and now nonexistent! You'd be suprised what a reward and a lot of praise for successes can do!!

Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

If he's already pooping on the toilet consisently, that's great! No more dirty diapers to change. If he's peeing on the floor, there needs to be a consequence for this. If he's peeing in his pullups, ditch them. They are a diaper, but only more expensive so if that is what he's using them for, either go back to diapers or make the switch to real training pants or underwear. He won't suddenly decide that the pullups are underwear, and he's not feeling uncomfortable if he wets them. When you use cloth diapers, cloth training pants or regular underwear (you can use plastic pants on top to help protect your furniture, etc), they get the instant message of "Oh! When I pee, I get very wet" and they start to learn what it feels like just before that happens. When my son was nearly 3, I switched from disposable diapers to cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer and took him to the toilet every hour and a half. The first 2-3 weeks, he peed in the training pants all the time, then I guess it clicked and he started waiting til he was taken to the bathroom. It was still another month and a half before he started going independently without waiting for me to take him. Good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Buffalo on

He seems to understand the concept but maybe he's ignoring the urge to pee until it's too late. How about calmly explaining to him that you know he wants to pee in the toilet, so to help remind him of that you're going to set a kitchen timer to 15 minutes and every time it goes off, he's to go sit on the potty. He doesn't have to pee, but he does have to try. Tell him that as he has no "accidents" you'll start setting the timer for more and more time, eventually getting rid of it altogether.

Good luck.

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