Potty Training Help - La Mesa, CA

I fought this advice when it was given to me, and had to learn the hard way - but here it is all the same - she will use it when she is ready. Let it go. I worked so h*** o* my first kid - videos, stickers, etc. Took months. All sorts of accidents, bed wetting. A nightmare. My second daughter it took all of 2 days, because I just waited until she was ready, which does not mean fascination with toilet and takling about underwear, I mean waiting for her to go on toilet by herself and letting me know. I know it's hard to believe but she will know when she is ready. Good luck.

Hi L.,

It sounds like you've made the right steps. Now step back and let go of your agenda. Age 2 is young to be potty trained so she may not actually be ready for a year or so. If you push, it can become a power struggle with major negative effects.

V.

Potty training is such a challenge, I know, I went through it last summer with my twin girls.

My girls love to imitate, early on they were drawn to baby dolls and taking care of them, just like mommy does. So, I got them each a baby doll that pees (water) when you feed her a bottle. She also comes with a little potty seat and diapers. My girls loved "teaching" their baby how to pee on the potty, just like mommy teaches them. I would tell the girls that they'd have to show the baby how to go potty so the baby doll could learn the "right" way. So, they'd put their baby doll on the little potty , while they sat on the potty to go pee...and it worked!!

Also, I found that the little potty seats I got for my girls were great in the beginning, but they wanted to sit on the real toilet like mommy and daddy, so I got the seat that you can place on top of the toilet seat and a step stool to climb up. This made a huge difference. Then, I put the little potty in the car for emergency potty breaks. I used it a lot because I kind of have a phobia of dirty, public bathrooms and it was hard to take 2 kids to the bathroom by myself. So, before I would go into any store I'd take one girl to the back of my SUV and have her sit on the potty to pee before we went about our errands. I kept a box of large Ziplocs to empty the pee into and Clorox wipes for clean up in my car at all times.

I have to say, though Pull-Ups are great for sleeping, they weren't great for teaching the pee alertness because they absorb right away. My girls liked wearing real big-girl panties, like mommy, and when they felt the like trickle of pee-pee come they'd run to the potty to keep the rest from coming out. You may find you'll do a few changes of panties throughout the day, but after a week or two they get the idea.

The hardest part for my girls in the potty training stage was putting their poo in the potty, and that's another story. Lots of bribery worked for me...sticker charts, candy, toys, etc..

Good luck and stay consistent. It'll seem like a piece of cake in a few months.

Hi L.:
Potty training takes alot of patients. Shes still young, so its going to take her some time to catch on.Right now,its just fun and different for her.She may think of her potty seat as sort of a toy.(Pretend) She sees you on the (Real potty) and is just imitating you and going through the motions.This is one of the reasons, I believe in starting them out on the adult seat rather than a tiny one on the floor.The other reason, is because this also saves her and you the transition from the tiny one to the adult. Soon you will have her out in public. Everywhere you go, the toilets will be adult size.She will be afraid to use anything but her tiny one,leaving you with A wet,crying child when your out.I'd suggest using the padded seat that fits over your normal toilet seat. She won't feel as though she is going to fall in,and maybe she will think of it as the (real thing)I also believe, that once she begins telling you that she has to (go) you need to get rid of the pull-ups and get her some regular undies,(the thick cotton for toddlers,otherwise she will get lazy.You want her to feel the sensation if she feels herself having to go,and regular undies will of course make her proud of her accomplishment.She will have accidents.It will be frustrating for you, but don't let her think your upset or disapointed in her.She could relapse. Try to make light of her accidents,and then try to get her to go again right after eating or drinking. I wish you and your darlin daughter the best.J.

Hi L.-

We are all so anxious to potty train our first - but I have to tell you...let it go! She will do it on her own when she is ready. leave the potty and continue to talk about it - but don't push. Both my kids potty trained after age 3 - and it happened so fast..seriously - one day. I never even used pull-ups or any other "tricks" - when they were ready - they did it - It was so easy - there was never one moment of frustration etc. When they are ready it takes 1 day - if you push it ....you'll deal with accidents, power struggles etc for 1 year.

My advice would be to take away the pull ups altogether and get cotton "big girl" panties. It may be messy for a little bit, but eventually she'll realize the yuckiness will be solved by going on the potty. For my kids, pull ups were too much like a diaper, and they didn't care if they went in it or not. I switched my daughter from pull ups to underwear and within a couple weeks she got the idea. She still had accidents here and there, it was by no means done completely, but at least we could work on the accidents and she got the idea of it all. I do still use the overnight pullups because she's a heavy sleeper. I am about ready to take those away too, though! My daughter's 3 and we started potty training around 2 as well. Hope this helps!

Your child is too young to be worrying about potty training. All you're doing at this age is setting up a power struggle, and trust me, you don't want to go down that road. Wait until she's ready, most likely closer to 3 or 3.5. She's not going to go to high school in diapers.

Be patient!!! Potty training may take a while, your little one is still on the young side. I just got through with my son (just turned 3). If I learned anything, it was to be patient and use lots of positive reinforcement. Different children respond differently, sticker charts, candy, praise. Once you find that, it'll help you on your way, but ultimately, it's up to her and when she's ready.
Trust me, you'll drive yourself nuts if you put a time schedule on this thing. He mastered peeing, but had a hard time finding his way to the potty to poo (went in his undies). When I finally was totally frustrated and at my wits end, I stopped making an issue about going poo, his started on his own.
Good luck.

I agree with people who say she will go when she is ready, but try this anyway and it may help. I just potty trained my 21 month old (same, I knew she was "too young" but she was giving me all the cues that she was ready) in like three days. I had no game plan and was just kind of clueless as to how to go about it, and out of the blue my sister sent me this article/video she found somewhere http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25057503/
When I first went to watch it I was VERY skeptical because I don't think anything has a one day fix, and a lot of the "potty train you kid in one day" programs are overly harsh and potentially damaging. However, this woman totally knows what she is talking about both from a medical and a child development point of view, and she uses methods and language that I use both with my daughter and in child care settings, so basically all I had to do was merge my own beliefs into this way of potty training... and it worked almost right away! I let Izzy choose if she wanted to wear panties or go naked (she chose naked, but after the first day and a half I made her wear panties) but told her no more diapers except during sleep. I filled her up on sugary drinks and salty snacks just like on the video, and I told her that if she had to go pee pee that she had to go sit on the potty. The first time she had an accident I had her clean it up (which was no struggle for me because she is weird and loves to clean up) by herself. About an hour later she asked for a diaper and had a little meltdown when I told her no. Then almost immediately after, completely on her own, she sat on the potty and went! Since then she is almost totally potty trained (she still has occasional accidents, especially when we're not at home, but she goes both poop and pee in the potty 95% of the time!).

Watch the video and read the article (and take notes!), but here are the keys.

DON'T ask her if she needs to go potty.
DON'T put her on the potty periodically (like every hour). She has to take ownership and go when she needs to go.
ALWAYS have her clean up on her own, and don't praise her for cleaning up her accidents (but don't berate her for having one, either.
When she does go, celebrate and let her dump it and flush herself, but don't give her a reward.
But overall, watch the video. Two or three times.

And if you have tried for three days and she just isn't getting it, step back and try later.

Oh, and loose the pullups and get big girl panties- these alone are huge motivators. Use the pullups at night.

With my son, the cues of potty already being in the diaper or pullup only meant that he wanted me to know he went. It wasn't until he started telling us on a regular basis before he pottied that it was time to train. You might be right on the mark for training her and what we found to be the best guage was putting our son in regular underwear and avoiding diapers/pullups when he wasn't sleeping. When he wasn't ready he just went in the underwear and didn't catch on but once he was ready he automatically went to the potty on his own or told us he needed to potty. All kids are different but we found that this worked best for us and once he was potty trained he was completely trained even in bed throughout the night.

Hi L.,

I potty trained using underwear, the training kind. I chose not to use pull ups because they were a bit confusing because they fill just like diapers. I would put my child on the potty about 3-5 mintues after giving something to drink so that they would go and could then see what goal we were trying to achieve and what the potty song was all about. Good luck. Those training underwear are thick but has a different feel then diapers. You can pick up at Target or Babies R Us

ps I'm working on potty training #3, so wish me luck too.