Potty Training Troubles - Saint Louis,MO

I agree w/ Diane also; he's not even 3....and I hear boys take a wee bit longer than girls....my son was about 4 before he got it even tho he kinda knew when had to go (he'd hide under the kitchen table when he'd poop)...and it was a while (like a couple of years) after that that he was dry at night....
Give him a break of some sort and revisit it in a couple of months....don't worry, he won't be in pullups when he goes off to kindergarten

good luck

Make him rinse out his wet underwear.

Maybe you could buy him some really boring underwear, just plain white ones. Also let him pick out a pack of special underwear. He gets to start the day in his cool, special underwear. If he wets them, he has to rinse them out and then wears boring underwear for the rest of the day. If he is still in his cool undies at the end of the day, he gets a sticker for a chart. If he gets a sticker every day for a week, he gets to go to the dollar store and pick out a toy. (Or, you can buy the toy ahead of time, and it lives near the sticker chart as visible incentive.)

Good luck!

I don't think you can win this one, frankly! I think a lot of kids have an early period of being dry before they are fully, developmentally old enough to have full "bladder-to-brain" functioning. He can't go around without pants, obviously. And I'm not sure that kids well before the age of 3 are so fully trained all the time even when we parents think they are. Once the novelty of trying the potty wears off, it turns out they were just going because it was cool and not because they really got the "I gotta go" signal. My son was 4 before he really got it, and even then he was not dry at night for years. The pediatrician and the pediatric urologist told us to stop pushing him, stop the rewards, stop the charts, stop the alarms - he wasn't there yet.

You can certainly have him put his wet clothes in the washer - but no punishment, no judgment, and of course no shaming (which I am sure you would not do). Just ignore it. But that doesn't solve your problem of a wet kid and a ton of laundry and inconvenience.

The other thing I would do, honestly, is put him back in diapers or pull-ups. If he uses the potty, great, but otherwise he just goes in his pull-up. He's not ready. He's telling you that every day. Accept it. Have confidence that he will not go to kindergarten in diapers! He will grow into this, his body and brain will be in sync one day, and this will all be in the past.

The "experts" all say to stop trying to control what you cannot control: how long they sleep, when they use the potty, what foods they eat. You can offer opportunities, but they're really in charge, and every child develops differently.

Take comfort in the fact that your son is developing some awesome skills in some other areas - all kids do things in a different order from the kid next door. Don't listen to anyone who says "What, he's not trained yet?" No he's not - he can't be trained. He can only grow up. Meantime, he's probably really advanced in several other areas, whether it's gross motor skills or fine motor skills or verbal skills or creativity or building or color usage or anything else!

It takes time. Don't let him go naked anymore, let him wear his pants, and when he pees them, have him put them in the washer. It takes time, but he will get it!

Also, give him an incentive. My son mastered it for rescue bots. Be simple about it, when you've gone in the potty and not wet your pants for 5 days, I'll get you X. Then do it again for a longer period of time for another big item. You need to train him all over but with pants on. Hang in there, just another year and he won't have any accidents :-)

I haven't read through all your comments yet, but know you're not alone. My oldest did the exact same thing when he was 2 1/2yr old. He did it for about 2months before we could put pants on him again (atleast at home). My youngest will be 3 in February as well and we are currently in the process of potty training - such fun ;)

I got my son a toy he really really wanted, and we put it on a high up shelf in the bathroom and said he could have it as soon as it stayed dry for 10 straight days.

Boys are always harder I think. For my boys I kept a chart and when he got 1 day with no accidents then he got a special treat like a cupcake or something, 2 days with no accidents got 1 thing from the dollar store, ETC...then the big toy comes after a week of no accidents. For my daughter she was almost 2 and she wanted to be like her big brothers so I told her if she went in the potty she would get a M&M. She loves candy so potty trained her self in about 2 days and I ran out of M&M's!! Each kid is different to you just have to figure out what they like and will go potty for.

Ours took charge of his pottying shortly after we let go of shouldering the responsibility. We had used a combination of sticker charts, m&ms, training pants, training pants with pull ups over top, taking him regularly every time we entered or exited a place. For a while he was capable of going with us, but wasn't signaling and was refusing to go with caregivers. Don't know if anything we did actually made it click for him. He turned three in October. He started pre-school in January and hasn't had an accident as yet.

Best,
F. B.

Perhaps start insisting he wear underwear for awhile, but no pants. Even better, have him pick out the underwear himself and build some excitement. Tell him his job that day (or a couple hours, whatever works for you) is to keep that underwear dry. Dry, dry dry, just keep talking and rambling about keeping it dry and how excited grandma or papa or his favorite bear is going to be that he kept it dry. Give a good treat consistently as a reward when he does it and make a big deal about it. Call others with him and brag on him. I also give 5 M&Ms for each dry night (thats what we are working on right now) and she only gets M&Ms for that - she never ever gets M&Ms for anything else.

After he can keep the underwear dry for awhile, add the pants and repeat the whole process. Finally, if you are going out during this process, I would put a pull up on him and tell him that until he can keep his underwear dry for 3-5 days in a row, he can't wear underwear outside the house and must wear a pull up. Make him want to get rid of those pull ups. Good luck!!

Try a Pull Up over the underpants. Mess contained for you, he gets the uncomfortable wet feeling. I keep a mesh laundry bag hanging in the bathtub and I just throw the wet undies in there and throw the whole bag in the wash when it is time. My almost 3 year old is basically doing the same as yours, I feel he is so close as he asks to be changed now when he does have the pull up on which he never did before. He can also hold it for 4 or more hours as we have had dry pull ups after being away from the house for awhile. I also think it is hard for them to have the dexterity at this age to pull their own pants up and down.
Good Luck and I feel your pain! I am just playing the patience game right now.

I agree with Diane B, he's not ready. Trying to bribe or punish hum won't make him be ready, and even if you do manage to "train" him, you're setting yourself up for lots of accidents. People get so hung up about potty training by a certain age. I started too early with my older daughter...sticker charts, prizes, spending way too much time in the bathroom, but she really didn't care until two weeks before preschool started. Then hardly any accidents and none at school ever. There are also some food sensitivities, like dairy (for her, yogurt) and gluten that can complicate things. My little one will be three at the end of Feb and she is still firmly in diapers. She wants nothing to do with the potty and I'm not pushing it. We are both happier for it. I've talked to enough people that let their kids decide....one day they say, "no more diapers" when THEY are ready, and no accidents or stress.

I tried potty training my son when he was about 2 1/2 but had no luck, so i just waited. I knew i had to get to it but never tried again. He will be 3 next month and about 3 days ago he just took off his diaper and sat on the toilet but didnt do anything. I knew he was ready to try it so i went to the store and bought him underwear with his favorite cartoon. I showed them to him with such an excitement that he couldnt wait to put one on. I told him "you do potty in the toilet and not on Buzz" then i took him to the toilet, pulled his underwear down and sat him down and repeated myself. He had an accident about 1hr in but i repeated myself and took him again. After that first accident he didnt have anymore for the rest of the day!! My son was recently diagnosed with Autism and Apraxia(cant speak) and he just blew my mind because he picked it up so quick.

Some kids like rewards, some kids need a little push and some are just not ready. I would try the underwear first and if that doesnt work then ill start with rewards and so on. If you have older children get them to encourage him by giving him high 5 and cheering him on for anything and everything he does. Show him or tell him that you, daddy, grandma, grandpa, auntie stay dry and wear clothes. You can also put one of his underwear on his favorite teddy bear. PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE!!

Good luck!

Pay him 5 cents every time he uses the potty and take away 5 cents for accidents

May be try just underware first. Don't let him go around bare bottomed.

Have you made sure he know how to get his clothes up and down easily? Maybe he's unsure about it. Tell him when he gets to the potty, he can take off his underware and go. Then he gets a prize. A m&m or a marshmallow. If he has a dry whole day, it's a balloon. A week, a special toy.

Then the same thing with pants and underware.

There are no gaurentees. You can only try to change his "want to"! He's in charge.

Make sure he wears pants all the time. Don't let him go naked. He will get it. This is non-negotiable.

I'd put a stop to it for now then take up potty training again in the spring. Almost all kids do much better when they simply start when the weather warms up.