Potty Training Woes - I Would Love Some Advice

Does she have a like a set time when she poops? IF she does, you might want to sit her in the potty around that time and see if it works.

I've been trying to potty train my daughter and it seems to help when I sit her around poopy time.

Tell her first thing in the morning that from now on, if she has an accident (poo poo in the undies) this is what she has to do: (you put a spare change of clothes in her bathroom) show her the clothes, show her how to turn her undies inside out and plop the poo in the potty. Then let her clean herself. Have a special place for soiled clothes - specific basket or something. Then tell her this is her job from now on. She can go poo in the potty, or she can learn to clean herself. Then the next time she has an accident, if she comes to you then just tell her to go to the bathroom and clean herself up just like you showed her. Don't make a big deal if she doesn't do a great job cleaning herself. The point is that she is taking responsibility for her actions. And she will realize she has the ability to make her own choices, without the stress or pressure of anyone else. Just leave her alone when she goes to the bathroom and see what happens :)
Best of luck!!
jen

Good morning Theresa...awww...I feel for you. I went through that with my third born son.

Yelling will only discourage her even more.

Bribery can lead you down a path you may not want to travel. Your child may come to a point that she'll expect to get a "reward" for something she really must learn to do.

Of course what works for one child may not necessarily work for another.

That was a lesson we learned the hard way. My son started hiding when he pooped his pants because he didn't want to get into trouble.

With our son when he would dookie in his pants we would ask him if he felt "yuckie" with dookie on him and of course he would reply yes. In return we would say to him if he felt yuckie then why not put the dookie in the toilet.

We stayed consistant with this for months and one day that "light bulb" in his head turned and he went to toilet and did the "deed". When he did then we rewarded him and big time. It wasn't a reward that was offered until after he'd accomplished pooping in the toilet though.

Be patient with her. Offer positive words to her. Continue to love her the way that you do. She'll come around.

All my best to you and good luck. It isn't going to be an easy journey.

D.
Apopka, FL

Hi Theresa - I took a week off of work to potty train my son (2 1/2 yr @ the time) but you'll need time & repetition in order for it to be effective (also patience!) It's a gradual stage for them & there will be disappointments in between.
Step 1: Bathroom w/you: I know this is going to sound disgusting, but let her in the bathroom w/you when you go & show it to her & say the key words "pee pee & poo poo" so she knows that's where it belongs.
Step 2: Morning training; sit & wait, then coffee!: I knew he would do #2 in the morning, so I sat him on the toilet & read books with him (for hours at a time), with no luck the first couple days & of course, he went in his pull-ups later that day. The 3rd day (in the morning) I had it & my sister made coffee, we gave him a little & sat him on the toilet. 10 minutes later, he was going, and we clapped and let him see the poo poo, like he saw ours - maybe they will relate that way.
Step 3: Naked kid - After that glorious day, we reinforced him sitting on the potty & the word 'poo poo' & had some accidents in between. I also let him walk around 'butt-naked' with no shorts or pull-ups because I read somewhere that it makes them more concious of going or maybe they relate that with potty (no pants when they go) so that ended up working for me as well. Removing diaper or shorts also takes away there comfort zone b/c they were conditioned to poop there (or onto something) to begin with. I hope this helps, let me know how it goes & write me with the outcome! The best of luck to you :) W. K.

I have a friend whose daughter did the same thing. Seems like it just turned out to be a stubborn aspect of her personality.

SHE wanted to be in control and SHE wanted to make decisions.
'Holding' her poop was one way she could control her life.

When my friend started saying things like 'Do you like having poopy on your hiney? Does it feel good? NO? Well, I think you should choose/decide to put it somewhere else so your hiney won't be sore/dirty. Now, where could YOU put your poopy to make your hiney feel better? Do you have any ideas?' etc.

When she was made to feel like she had some control over it, like it was HER decision, things got better.

Good luck

I could have written your post... my daughter will be 5 in April and still has trouble pooping in the toilet. Unless she's constipated (and so pooping hurts), I really think there's not much you can do, other than encourage her to go in the toilet. I've giving mine prune juice when she gets to the point of holding it for a few days to help move things along. She does not like prune juice, but will drink it because she knows it will help the poop not to hurt. (My daughter won't eat raisins or prunes or other dried fruit.)

Potty training is in their hands, really... it's one of the only things they really have control over. This too shall pass.

The only advice I can give you is simply this...Yelling does nothing but make her self concious, bribery doesn't work because your not using the right technique... I made a "potty chart" for my daughter...she was fond of the hide behind grampa's chair and squat method until i came up with this idea... Get a big piece of bright pink poster board... Make a calendar out of it, and when she has at least 3-5 smiley stickers on each day , when you reach a day "pay day for example" she gets to do something special, go shopping for a toy, go to the arcade, go watch a movie, buy a special junk food you wouldn't normally let her have...
I'm only 29 but my two kids are 8 and 9 yrs old and this trick worked for my 8yr old. After about three months of her "special day" she became motivated about going in the potty...by the time her potty chart disappeared, she was in school and too embarassed to potty in her pants ;)

Theresa...i had the same problem and what it is the pooping scares them because once the poop hits the water the water comes right back and hit them on the butt and that is scary plus the noise of it hitting the water maybe, i left my daughter in plastic panties knowing she was gonna do it and them worked really well because the poo comes right off and no big Fuss!!!
Now with bribing and yelling that will make it worse and also cause her to have more Stress which isn't good but you have to understand that she may have a fear as my pedi explained it to me and my daughter. get all the potty books and elmo one is good also take her with you when you poop...it may sound weird but trust me you will experience and have to see worst things than this in the future believe me...LOL so get the plastic panties and take her with you to show her it is OK...the poop is so big and another thing i did with my daughter was like a little science project.
gravity project to be exact and daddy can do this too to also show he understands and knows how it works. to also reassure her OK...get heavy things and work with water and show her how it falls in and splashes back or sinks to the bottom of the container you prefer to use. good luck and it all takes time especially dealing with children!
take care and hope this Helps.
M.

I have had a similar experience. My son seems to have mastered the pee-pee part but not the poop! He would hold it in for days and then go anywhere! I caught it just in time one day, had to watch him like a hawk for the signs it was coming, and sat him on the potty. It actually fell in from his pants more so than he sitting there and doing it deliberatly. It is obviously stressful for him, unlike peeing!! I praised him and gave him a special poop prize, a kit-kat mini bar. That's his favorite. He has done it a couple of times since but not to the same degree as pee. But everytime he gets a special poop prize. I would try that... rewarding the behaviour. He's now enrolled in a school 2 mornings a wk so I expect his potty training experience will be much better, seeing the other kids do their business. That would also work for your daughter if you like that idea.
Good luck!

put a chart up by the potty, every time she potties in the pot put a star on the chart. a certain number of stars equal a prize.Find out what she likes, a kids'meal, money she can spend,trip to the zoo etc . Totally forget the yelling. Speech problem children can start school early fed law..Without speech she will fall behind in school. GET HER SOME VERY PRETTY GIRL PANTIES. rEWARD THE GOOD NOT PUNISH THE BAD..Teach her to clean up her mess to her ability. Your mess you clean it but. say it with a smile. If really a mess put her into the tub clothes and all so she can cleanin a restricted area

Hello Theresa A,
I so understand where you're at. My daughter is 3 1/2 years old and she is still in the middle of potty training. I tried the "stay with her all weekend thing" wear she wore underwear instead of duaper, I tried the bribe thing, and then I tried taking her to the bathroom every hour or two every chance we had. At first, it was come and go. We (Momma and Poppa) were tentative and she would be in diapers half the time and underwear the other half. Routine really works. Since we knew when she was about to go potty, I would say, lets go potty in the toilet. At first I gave her stickers if she pottied in the toilet. Then if she reverted back to potty in the diaper, I would tell her how yucky it was and while she was still in the pottied diaper, I'd ask her how she felt with it and make yucky faces to show her it's not good to potty in the diaper. As time went on, she has had less poopied diapers and has been using the toilet more often. In the past 3 weeks, she's probably had to be cleaned in her diaper from poop once. I still put her in goodnight diapers in case of accident while she's sleeping. Although we're not done with potty training, it looks brighter as she is asking for the toilet to poop and pee although not at night when she's tired and ready to sleep.
Hope there's something in here that might help.
Good luck to you. I'm sure your child will become independent with potty one day. Every child is individual and we have to help them progress at their speed so they will feel comfortable and happy at the end of the process.
:' )

I have 4 boys and an other one coming next month! LOL
But anyway, the poop thing is tuff sometimes with kids.
I don 't know if it is the fear of going and having no control over it, or what. Yelling is not the thing to do though, I know how frustrating it can be. Have you tried getting a little potty just for her to try?
My 3rd son would do the same, pee in the toilet and want to poop in a diaper. I just gave up with the yelling and all and eventually he came around. But it has to be when they are ready... that is the key. I would ask him if he has to go poop and encourage him to go on the potty, but if he did not, then i would tell him try next time...
Then one day he just did and was so proud of himself.
Look at the pull ups web site, Huggies and they probably have good tips as well! keep asking and trying!

Smiles,
Dianna

I am curious as to how this works out for you and your daughter. I find all of this so funny!! I'm sorry, My son was fully trained at 2 and a half. And all my neices were fully trained by 2. A lot of poeple have said that was early, and awesome, but i guess i didn't realize how hard it is and how long it could take. My son has only peed the bed 2 times and it was because he had a broken leg!! I am so sorry!! I hope I am that lucky with my daughter, I will be putting her on soon!!