Pregnant over 40? - Austin,TX

Updated on June 21, 2007
C.G. asks from Austin, TX
8 answers

Hello ladies,
I am a 41 year old mom with a very active little boy who will turn 5 yrs.old in November. My husband & I are trying to have our second bundle of joy. So far no luck yet. My question is- am I biting off more than I can chew at my age? I do have concerns with getting pregnant at 41 ( if it happens right now that is ) like I said we are trying. With my son I had a C-section and my recovery process was very hard for me. With all honesty, when I reflect on all of that, it makes me shy away from pregnancy and birth etc. :)
But we want another child very badly. I can do the diapers and bottles all over again, I'd just like to know anyone else out there in the same boat ??

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P.

answers from San Antonio on

You can do it. Pregnancy is never fun, but it easier the second time. I am 39 with an almost 5 and 3 yr--both boys. They have so much energy! I have seen so many people my same age just start to have babies. Do what is best for you.

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S.H.

answers from Austin on

Camille,
I honestly believe you are the only one who can know if you are biting off more than you can chew. It sounds like you have thought through the realities of having a newborn again. I am pregnant right now at 37 and I will say I am more tired than when I was pregnant with my last child at 34. That being said you son is 4 adn will at least be 5 and can be a big help. I say go for it and don't expect heroics. Give yourself permission to be tired etc. I don't know if the recovery process is any better but I know for me the joys far outweigh the discomforts.

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A.K.

answers from Abilene on

I know medically becoming pregnant may be an issue or a concern but I don't think that being an older mother should concern you at all. If anything I think you have more patience and more to offer as an older, more experienced mother (that coming from a 24 year old mother of two). I think if you and your husband are up to the challenge of having another child and when I say that age does not come into play then I think you should. There is nothing more rewarding than watching your kids play together.

If the pregnancy and recovery are your major concern you could always consider a surrogate or adoption. I don't know if that is even an option but I thought I would throw it out there.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

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J.K.

answers from San Antonio on

Camille,

NO 40 is the new 25, i swear. you are not the only woman trying to have a baby passed 38 these days. My friend just had her second at 42 and is happy i am 36 and have a 3 yr old and hopefully another soon and if i dont get pregnant till 40+ than so be it. Then too it all depends on the person. If your first pregnancy was hard or the recovery was hard you might want to consider other options and let your husband know that yes you want another baby, but this time he will have to help a bit more due to your age? but no 40 is ok to have another baby i might be there one day :) good luck to u!!!

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C.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi Camille. I am also 41 w/ a 5 yr old. I am expecting my second next month. Honestly, this pregnancy has been a bit harder than the first. BUT, everybody is different and every pregnancy is different. My problems have not been really worse than my 26 yr old niece had. My first was an emergency C-sec at 33 wks. So I've been worried about making it to 37 weeks (when the doc will do another c) Really, I'm excited about it. We were not trying but we weren't preventing either. I was on the fence about whether to try for pregnant or adopt the second. I don't really mind the physical discomfort of the pregnancy (well, not much!); it's more the worry of anything going wrong. To me the only real thing about our age is there IS a higher chance of birth defects and multiples. If your ob/gyn gives you a green light physically, then the rest is just whether you can take the 9 (10) mos. If you have any questions for me, feel free to email me.

C.

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L.G.

answers from San Antonio on

HI Camille,

I'm having my second little boy at 37 in November. Although I'm not 40 yet, I understand what you are going thru. I had my first at 35 and it was so much harder than I imagined. Staying up all night was much easier at 25;) I've had all the typical testing done that you have when you are considered "advanced maternal age". I even had a scare with a screening that said there was a high probability (1/200) that my unborn son would have DS. I wondered if I was doing the right thing. It turns out that he appears to be fine but that was enough to convince me that we are done after this baby. Both of my pregnancies have been relatively uneventful except for annoying back pain, thank the Lord.

I think that if you want another baby, go for it. Alot of the stats that are out there regarding us "older" moms is skewed anyway because less of us are having babies that the younger. Just don't forget how tired you were;) I am remembering more and more especially now that I am taking care of a 17 month old!

Take care and good luck!
L.

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J.A.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi Camille: I am 41 with a 18 month old. My other kids are 23 and 20 years old. My pregnancy went great. I had very little problems during my pregnancy. At the very end I got the usual hemmroids and a slightly elevated blood pressure. But that was due to the fact that my mother in law was in a nursing home recovering from an illness. I am her parttime caretaker. My pregnancy was a big WOW to me to. I had my tubes burned in 1994, my youngest at the time was graduating from highschool. It is a big life change, but at least you still have a small one at home, so your not to rusty. ME... on the other hand, I am starting all over. Its crazy around here. And I will say it was hard bouncing back from having the baby. My body still is in denial. But it may just have to do with the fact that he just started sleeping thru the night about 2 weeks ago. Im starting to feel better. Getting more sleep. So I think I'll be fine soon. Dont let the worry of what might be, interfere with your choice on having another baby. Take it as it comes. Let nature take its course. If it was meant to be, it will happen. Good Luck. And take care.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I can't answer for myself, but my (adopted) mom was 49 when I was born.

She was awesome. There were days when she had migraines, but apparently I was really good about laying down beside her until my Papa got home, and I was nine when her emphysema got really bad and I took on a lot of her housework and stuff at home.

Until then, though, she drove me to gymnastics, dance (ballet, tap, jazz, clogging, highland fling), and she took violin lessons with me because I wanted them so badly.

She was just as good as my big sister (who was 23 when I was born) at holding up flash cards, helping with homework, asking about who where and when I was going..

She got really sick while I was in college, to the point that I rearranged my school schedule so I could spend the night at the hospital with her for most of the final two years, and she died two months after I graduated.

I'm not sure how hard raising me was on her, but I know for an absolute fact I wouldn't have traded her in for two younger moms.

BTW, I had a c-section with both of my sons (at 23 and 25), and there is nothing easy about recovering then. :) That's major surgery - a friend who had a tummy tuck as well as a c-section said that the c-section recovery was less painful.

S.

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