Preschool Anxiety - Boston,MA

I took my three year old to a half day preschool until I knew she could handle it. She was happy and that let me know it was a good thing for her.

I am a SAHM.
I have 2 kids who are now 4 almost 5, and 8.
My daughter is the Eldest.
When she was 3, when went to Preschool.
Why?
Well, because SHE wanted to go. SHE told us, she wanted to go to school. So then, I knew... she was ready. She & I, visited many preschools. I chose the one, that SHE liked. It was a nice/good preschool. And she thrived there.
She went part-time for half days. Then she wanted to go, everyday. So then we did.

This was also at a time, when I was going to have my 2nd child.
It so happened to really work out. My daughter enjoyed Preschool and then I was home, in the mornings, with just my son who was born at about the same time my Daughter started Preschool.
It was GREAT.
My daughter, got to have her OWN time and her own routine and her own thing. AND at this age, their needs for socialization and learning, increases, as well as the need for physical activity.

My Daughter had 1 year of preschool, then went on to Kindergarten.

I also, prior to my kids going to Preschool, I did home school them. My son went to preschool too, and now he will be in Kinder.
But, even if they are in school, I still, do some home schooling with them at home.

You... are having parental "Separation Anxiety."
This is a rite of passage, for a Mom.

My daughter at 3, LOVED Preschool so much. And so did my son.

1 year of Preschool is good enough.
If you do not want her to have 2 years.
My Daughter had 1 year.
And my son only had about 6 months of preschool.
It is fine.
With both my kids, I went by THEIR cues, for Preschool. Enrolled them when THEY were ready and WANTED to go and was excited to go to, Preschool and asked to.

The funny thing is the kids do great, it is the parents that fall apart.. Not just preschool, but also first day of elementary, first day of middle school, first day of high school, and then..leaving them at College!! It is the exact same feeling you are having right now..

You think, "she is so young. I want to protect her."

And then she will go and have a great time and start becoming a little more independent.. and you will be completely amazed.

Our daughter loved any and all school. She blossomed. I was amazed at what she could do there, that she would have never done with me.. Of course a lot of it, I would not have even thought of doing with her..

She loved her little friends, her teachers and this is where I think she began to love school. Yes, the first day of kindergarten she gave us a hug and a kiss and said, "bye, see you later". Some of the other kids were crying and she was comforting them.

My husband and I walked outside and we had to hold each other we were so shook up. But she always did great.

The other bonus for you? You will get to have some alone time with your little one! Special one on one time with the second child will also be very special for the 2 of you.. Take advantage of that..

Be strong.. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.. You can do this.. Your child will love it..

It will be fine, better than fine! Preschool is SO much fun, as long as you find a good play-based program with nice teachers. My daughters loved preschool so much, and it had a great impact on them. My 9 year old still talks about her preschool teacher from when she was 3, Miss Becky. It will only be hard to leave her the first day, then you'll feel better about it. Just try not to infect her with YOUR anxiety, if you make it seem like school is something to be dreaded then she will dread it of course. If possible, you can spend some time volunteering in her classroom (though you'll probably need to get a sitter for your baby to do so). Being in the classroom will allow you to observe how the teacher interacts with the kids and what your daughter is like in school, it's so much fun! I'm a SAHM too and I have volunteered in my kids classes as much as possible and gone on the field trips. Just wait a couple of weeks before you volunteer, you and your child need to get used to the routine of preschool first. The funny thing is that by the time your second little one is ready for preschool you'll be totally fine with it, possibly jumping for joy! :)

nothing wrong with you except you fear the unknown. be brave mama! once you do it you will LOVE preschool - because she will. do it for her. good luck!

i am always surprised when moms try to talk other moms out of sending their little ones to preschool. look, of course she doesn't "have" to have it. but seriously. if you could eat a vitamin every day that gave you all the vitamins, minerals, and nutrients you'd need each day, so that you never even had to eat a single bite of real food...would you do it? because of course you wouldn't NEED to eat real food. would you really choose never to eat your favorite foods again? just because "oh well, we don't NEED it" Harrumph harrumph! lol. That's preschool. it adds SO much richness, fun, activity, stimulation...why wouldn't you send your child, if you could? no offense to moms who are determined to keep their children at home as long as possible...it's just putting off the inevitable. also why not submerse your child in all that fun sooner, rather than later? there is always an awkward adjustment period...get it over with sooner rather than later. i don't think learning and expanding ones horizons is EVER a bad thing. you can do this!!

Ha!

I didn't sleep the entire night before the first day, and then I met up with my mum and cried. ((Of course, I was "super excited" / "you're going to have so much fun!" for my son, kiss, wave, ttfn for the 30 second goodbye (short goodbyes are waaaay better for the vast majority of both kids and adults. Not in the least so that they don't pick up on our anxiety any more than they already have)).

I went to more than 50 preschools to get a short list of 3 or 4 that I'd be willing to send him to. Found "the one" dead last (which always strikes me as funny, because in research, unlike looking for your hat you keep looking even AFTER you've found what you're looking for. So, of course, 'perfect' was months down the road of looking at 2-5 preschools every week. Sheesh.) ALL the research didn't help me one bit.

You know what helped? At my slightly wild eyed look as kiddo turned to find his cubby the teacher took my hand for a moment and said "You've decided to trust us, so trust yourself that you made the right decision."

Oh yeah. Huh.

BEST. School. Ever. If they went to 12th we'd have never started homeschooling.

Nothing is wrong with you and kids don't really need preschool as long as mommy or daddy is teaching them the right way at home. I'm doing in-home preschool for my 3 year old and 3 other kids from the ages of 2 1/2-4. We will have an actual curriculum and what I found sounds amazing! It's from a website called preschool in a box and for all of my 4 kids it'll only be $40 a month with all of the supplies included.

Why does your husband want her to go? Does he have good valid reasons he can explain to you? She might have a great time and do well, but she could wait till next year and go for just one year before kindergarten instead. Are you telling him how hard it is to take care of both kids and maybe hes looking for a way to ease the work for you? Does he think she isnt learning things fast enough and is worried about her? Is the house a mess and he thinks you need more time to take care of things? Is someone else pushing him to get the kids in school early? My grand daughter could have gone to free day care, and free preschool due to my daughters income level but she chose to keep her home with her and myself until this year. She will be 4 this weekend and she will have the best time in preschool. But there was no reason to put her in for more than 1 year before kindergarten unless she needed somewhere to go when no one else could take care of her. You are willing and able to stay home with your own kids for another year and theres nothing wrong with that desire. Have a long talk with daddy and let him know how you can do it and want to. Maybe he is just trying to do what he thinks you need or want and is mistaken.

Okay, so I am totally not trying to talk you out of preschool because I think it's a wonderful thing and I know that it does make a difference whether or not kindergarteners have had that preschool experience. I really think it's invaluable. But... I am the same way! Can you get her enrolled in ballet or gymnastics or something instead and feel good enough about it? For my daughter, it's the social and structure parts that are pushing me to want her in preschool. I worry I will not provide her with enough opportunities for that, but I honestly just don't think I can do it. She's so little, right!? I am so with you and feel legitimate anxiety over it daily.

A couple of things that are easing my mind for NOT sending her until next year (when she's 4):
1. Technically, they don't HAVE to ever go to preschool. So, giving my daughter one year instead of two is still going to be good, right?
2. We do lots of "preschool" at home with books I've picked up and things I've researched online. She LOVES to "read" and "do math" at home. So, it's not like it's a struggle to get her to do the academics. She loves it and is very happy to have about an hour of "school" with Mommy in the morning during/after breakfast and again after lunch for awhile.
3. She'll be in ballet starting in the fall and I take her to preschool story time at the library every week. She can obviously follow directions, sit still and listen quite well.

Okay, so maybe I'm justifying it for myself and that's not what you're looking for. Sorry! But I am going to leave this post up in case this IS what you needed. If you do go with preschool, maybe you can do a coop preschool? Be there with her one day a week and have someone you trust watch your 1 year old? Good luck, Mama. I look forward to hearing what you decide.

I guess I am counter everyone else but... why would you want to send your daughter off to be influenced by others? Do you really think there is something they can do for her that you can't do? Please don't believe that socialization story. You are more than capable of "socializing" your own child, playing in the playground, a class at the Y, a trip to the Museum of Science, oh, so many different ways without the lock step schedule and homogeneous-ness of school. There is so much to do with our kids and yet we can't wait to get rid of them, so sad...

Don't worry i bawled my eyes out the first week of kindergarten. The principal even came up to me one day and asked me what happened. I couldnt even talk to him i was crying so bad. lol
I'd walk her right up to the door and i even made her cry.
I'd wait till she was at least 4. 3 is still a baby to me.
Good luck!
I am wy more attached to my kids than they are to me, it think.

I understand- it's so hard letting them go the first time :(
Nothing is wrong with you- it's new territory for you, having someone else taking care of your LO for the 1st time and not seeing 1st hand what she's doing all the time. I was nervous when my 1st went to pre-school and kindergarten for the 1st time too. I have 4 children now- 3 of them have been through pre-school and kindergarten. It does get easier.

I used to be of the opinion that 3 was too young for pre-school, but after seeing what a positive experience pre-school was for my children, I've changed my mind. My children LOVED pre-school- they do so many fun things that I never would have thought of. My 3 boys started at 4, but I would send my 3 yo DD, if I could. I know she would love it, but for financial reasons we've decided to wait until next year.

I agree with Laurie A. that the one-on-one time you will have with your 1 year old is really special. When my 1st went to pre-school, my second child was only 5 month old, and it was nice to have some time where I could give him the kind of attention that my 1st child had. When my second went to pre-school, my 3rd was 2, and I was expecting my 4th, so it was really nice for him to get some one-on-one time before the baby was born.

I really think you won't have any regrets =o)

I cried when I dropped my little ones off for daycare 2 days a week for the first time :) Now, 4 years later, both kids go part-time to day-care that is a pre-school. I see them learning in an environment that is closer to school, and see them more prepared to start Kindergarten than their stay at home counterparts. I enjoy my time with the kids at home, but I can not match the socialization piece that the kids get from playing and learning with their peers. I highly recommend letting your little one get her feet wet in Pre-K. It is hard for you, but great for her :)

You are not alone at all. My daughter is 4 and will be going to preschool for the first time next month. My husband has been pushing for the last 2 years. But I am a SAHM as well and didn't see the point. Yes, she needs to socialize before kindergarten but didn't see the need for 2 years of "school" before she really starts school. So our agreement was she would go the year before she started kindergarten. And lucky for me the only preschool with openings around here only has 2 days available so she doesn't have to go full time! Good luck and know that you will not be the only one crying on that first day!

There is NOTHING Wrong with you !!!! Dont feel that way !!! You're a MOM!
I cried when I brought Mikey to Daycare at 10 months old :-( BUT it has been sooo good for him!

No, you are not the only one who is having anxiety about preschool. It's August and I often get that nervous feeling in my stomach that "school is just around the corner". My son is 3 and will start in Sept., I too am a SAHM. I've felt the same way about 2 years of preschool. I think it will be a good way for him to gradually ease into though. I know it will be good for him and know he'll love it. Like you, I also have a 1 year old and think it will be nice to have a few hours/week to spend with him.

As a mother we have all experienced this feeling that they are too young or this it too much too soon. But it is actually very good for them to get stimulation in this area early on! There are some great tips for this separation anxiety @ http://www.toddlerbedandmore.com/toddler_tips-html. Good luck!

I feel your pain. In fact, I got a stomach ache just thinking about it. My son will be 3 at the end of September and I have no intention on sending him to pre-school. He's an only child but he goes every where with us and is very social so no worries there. I also bring him to a play group a couple times a week. Do what you feel is right.

I'm a single mother and my mother watched my daughter while I worked so I really didn't need her in a daycare or preschool, but she was also the only kid around all adults and I wanted her to have some socialization and a head start on an education. I started her at an accredited preschool at 3.5. I put her in 2 days a week to ease her into the idea of school. First day I cried, she said "K-Bye" and I cried more. 6 months later I add a third day, and in another 6 months I added the 4th. By the time she started Kindergarten she was ready for all 5 days. Who knows, if I had not put her into preschool, she may have adjusted just fine to 5 days all at once, but the preschool did teach her things that I had no time to teach her. She was reading and doing simple math problems before she started kindergarten. I wouldn't change how I did things, but I did them the way I needed to, and you need to make the right choice for you. Good luck.