PTA Issue - How Would You Handle?

Updated on April 19, 2012
T.M. asks from Tampa, FL
24 answers

A few weeks ago, I took my son to a PTA run Mother/Son game night. It was really well done. At the event, a PTA mom got up and made a speech about how the event was the work of only 4 PTA moms. She started talking up getting involved and membership. I was SO offended. Backing up, the PTA sent out a membership form at the beginning of the year. I filled it out immediately and sent it back with the requested check. They cashed my check with no problem and I never heard the first word back from anyone from the PTA. I inquired about this at both parent/teacher conferences and my son's teacher was stumped as well. I looked for a way to contact someone from the school's website and there is nothing. Can I say again that the PTA cashed my check? SO, when the PTA mom finished her informal membership drive, I went up and spoke to her and explained my confusion on never having been contacted despite the fact that my check cashed. She made a production of saying that someone else from the PTA took the membership cards home and never was seen again. There was no apology, nor did she mention anything else that the PTA would be doing for the rest of the year if I wanted to be involved. Needless to say, I was turned off by this.

I sent an email to the Principal the next day expressing my frustration at the situation. I suggested that perhaps that they could add a general link from the website to send an email to the school PTA. I am sure that other parents were affected by this the same way that I was. I think this solution would at least give parents a way to contact someone in the PTAwith questions or to get more involved. I told the Principal that this was a great example as to why people get turned off by the PTA. I understand that things could have happened just like the PTA mom told me. But, how dare she get up and essentially complain about the lack of parental involvement in the PTA when at least part of this was caused by the internal minsmanagement of the PTA? I NEVER heard the first word back from the Principal about this and it has been a couple of weeks.

I don't know what I really expected here, but are most PTA groups run this badly? How could they possibly take my check (with all of my contact information printed on it) and then act like they never knew I was a member?

ETA: Actually I do not know what happened to the money...I just know that my check was cashed. I never got a membership card. I HOPE that my money at least went into the PTA account to benefit the kids.

Actually, there have been only TWO meetings of the PTA all year and I went to both. Both meetings were part of other Programs (once the explanation of remedial programs at the school and the other being the Christmas Program.) The actual PTA meeting was about 2 minutes long. From the outside, it appears VERY much an exclusive group and some of these Moms just want to have a claim to be a martyr....

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So What Happened?

I would have been happy to contact someone from the PTA to ask about membership. However, NO contact information for anyone on the PTA was provided to do so. Since there was no way to contact them through the website, I was at a loss. I am happy to help and volunteer if there is way to get in touch with someone to do so. I would have also thought that perhaps the PTA mom would have offered up a way for me to be involved when she realized that I never received the membership card, but NOPE. That is why I contacted the Principal regarding the general use email box idea. She could certainly make it happen.

I am perfectly willing to donate my time and money to the PTA. However, I am NOT willing to spend loads of time just trying to find someone to contact to offer my help. It just amazes me how this PTA is that poorly organized and run.

More Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

If you want to be involved then attend their monthly meetings and sign up for a committee. Participate in the discussion.
Plenty of people send in a check and say "sure I will help" but if you REALLY want to be involved then get involved!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Why trash the one woman who had gotten something done? She may have had nothing at all to do with the disorganization regarding volunteering at the start of the year. Yes, her statement about the person taking the membership information sounds odd, but it may be true. This is a volunteer group and it only takes one flaky person to mess up the recordkeeping.

Who is the PTA president? There must be a record of the roster of officers somewhere. The PTA is supposed to publish its officer list and its budget and put the budget to a vote. It also should have open meetings that are announced. Do flyers about PTA meetings (usually monthly) come home in your child's school bag, or is there any e-mail system that sends parents notice of meetings? If not -- maybe it's time to get involved and say that the lack of communication means the PTA needs both its OWN web site (not piggybacking on the school site) and an e-mail "blast" system to let parents know about meetings. (Our school's PTA has both, and a very transparent financial reporting practice.) Are you willing to get involved to make that happen so that next year, other parents have a better experience than you have had?

The principal, by the way, might not have replied because he or she knows the PTA is a problem and the principal does not want to get into parent drama over its poor organization.

You also may be able to complain to the national PTA organization about your local PTA. But before burning bridges like that, think about getting assertive and getting involved. After all -- the event you attended was well run, so some parents, somewhere, are good at putting on events. Why not help them do more of that? And then get them on track with public budgets that are voted on, etc.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I can only tell you about our school's PTA. I was the membership chair last year. We handed out info on joining the PTA at back to school night and all teachers put info into each child's folder the first week of school. On the form is every officer's name and contact information. The president's name is also on the staff board after the teachers' names. We give the cards back to the teachers to distribute and the teachers are supposed to put then in the kids' folders. Sometimes the teachers get confused and the cards come back to us and sometimes the kids' take them out of their folders before they reach the parents. All meetings times are on the school calendar and are also emailed to parents if they provide the school with an email address. That said, only about 30% of parents join and only a handful really get involved. And the involvement requires a lot of begging. If you want a contact person, go into the office and ask the secretary. The secretaries know everything going on in the school.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

No, not all PTA's are run like this! Wow. Your post made me realize just how lucky I am. Our PTA is wonderful, and commits to HOURS of volunteer work every week. I really noticed it last Friday when a friend of mine asked if I would help set up for the Silent Auction/Bingo Night. While I was putting stuff on tables it dawned on me just how much behind the scenes work had already been done. Every item up for bid in the Silent Auction had it's own info sheet, in an 8x10 frame. There were 100's of them! Someone sat in her living room doing that, FOREVER! Made me wish I had helped a little more.

Anyway, this may help you. In my experience, you need to be really proactive if you want to help out. Don't send in a check and then sit home and wait for someone to call you. They won't. Find out who your PTA officers are and tell them "I'm here to help! What would you like me to do!" If they're any good, they'll find something for you.

But I do see where you are coming from. Your PTA isn't very proactive either. I would not expect a personal phone call or email asking for help. But one of the things our PTA does that is great is they send out an email before each event asking for volunteers. We use "Sign Up Genius" - you put your name down for what activities you want to do. Maybe you could suggest something like that? Hmmmm, maybe you need to be PTA president (or an officer of some sort) in order to get your PTA running the way it should. If there are lots of parents at your school who feel the way you do, they'll be really glad you stepped in! Good luck in turning it around. PTA's can do wonderful things.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Well the woman said someone took the cards home and was never seen again, so how in the world is this woman to know that you sent in money? You are griping too much about this, you need to calm down. Lots of times things are confusing, until you figure out who is really in charge. Is there a PTA President? Talk to that person without prejudgement and you might get some answers. Sometimes people get involved and find out it is more work than they expected and quit, so sometimes it may be more unorganized at times. Can you offer to be involved, and maybe help get things organized for the school? Maybe that is what they need.

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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

It's nearly 2:00 a.m., and for the second night (morning) in a row, I'm up at a ridiculous hour working on my PTA data entry, reconciliations, and reports.
Yes, I have the dubious honor of being our PTA treasurer. : )

Not all PTAs are run like the one at your school. We have a fantastic president, a hard-working and visible board, and a great number of committee chairs as well as a very involved membership. It takes all those components to make a good PTA run well and to accomplish things for the kids and families at the school.

So sorry you are having such a hard time with your PTA. It shouldn't have to be like a scavenger hunt to find the names of the officers for your PTA. Try the school's office. If nothing else, ask the woman you spoke to at the meeting, another parent in your class, or your child's teacher.

Seriously, if you can't get an accurate answer from one of the above methods regarding the identity of your PTA president, then there is a real problem with the PTA at your school. The information should be out there, available to parents, and readily accessible.

If you can't get an answer at school, go to your state's PTA website. Give them a call or send an e-mail explaining your problem locating your school's officers. They maintain a list of all of the officers for each local PTA.

While asking for the president, find out who your treasurer is, too. Then ask that person about when you membership dues were sent in. Treasurers are required to send in our portion of membership fees once a month to the state PTA(whenever there are any new memberships in that month. At this time of year, most people aren't becoming new members since the school year is almost over). Your treasurer should welcome questions. All financial information should be transparent and available to the members.

We are required to make the budget available to any member who asks, and I always present it, along with copies for everyone, at the meeting. As a member you have every right to know where PTA money is going, how it is being spent. It is the membership's money, and the membership, in fact, dictates how the money is to be spent by approving the budget and any amendments to the budget throughout the year.

I hope you can find out when the next meeting is. When you do, make plans to go. Hopefully, you will want to be involved and can get involved at a level you feel comfortable with. Decide what you want to do, offer your help, and follow-though on your offer. Perhaps if more concerned parents like you see they are needed and wanted, you can turn your PTA around and be able to make some positive things happen!

Good PTAs can do great things; bad ones give the entire organization and the people in the organization an undeserved bad rap. We don't judge entire groups of people based on a few bad examples, right? Right?

Good luck!

J. F.

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D.M.

answers from Savannah on

This is pretty much par for the course with my experience with the PTA. It's why I avoid them like the plague they seem to be. It's usually run by the "Fab Four" as I call them, who are in it for the accolades and screw anyone else who wants to be in the buddy club.

I'd be really concerned that they have taken your money and not contacted you. Sure, it's probably not much, but in the grand scheme of things, it really adds up. Not to mention, the personal information on the check, such as full contact information, as well as bank account and routing number.

For me it got to the point of just telling them, "So long and thanks for the fish." While finding other ways to help out in and around the school. Really, the brand new teacher's lounge didn't need an espresso maker.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Your effort to figure this out.. Will be worth it for the entire school.. Do not give up.

Wow I am so sorry about your experience.

Try to remember, everybody is a volunteer. You end up dealing with what you get. Some volunteers are awesome... and some just.. well.. suck..

If the person that was in charge of the membership dropped the ball with the forms.. It really messed up the year for everyone.. It is hard to recover when the first line of business cannot occur because of incompitence.

Here is what I suggest.

I suggest you volunteer, maybe even get a co chair to be in charge of membership and The Volunteer lists..

This way you can make sure that the people that sign up and send in their forms are contacted and placed with the committees they are interested with.

Also try to find someone who is good on the computer and let them be the technology liason between the PTA and the parents.

Start this ASAP.. so that you can send out information all through the summer to all of the parents returning and include the families that will have kindergartners in the fall.

You sound like you have a lot of good ideas about how all of this should be run.. you also sound enthusiastic and motivated.. You coul dmake this next school year a success!

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

Usually at the beginning of the year, when the send out the membership requests and/or have their first meeting, they provide a list of board members and contact numbers. They typically have at least monthly meetings. The contact numbers or email addresses are a great way to get in touch with those individuals. While someone should have called you to ask for your help or see if you could assist with upcoming events, you also could have called them (especially if you are willing to help).

I know they should have reached out to you but if the person responsible for that didn't process the forms appropriately it is quite possible that those needing the help didn't know you were willing AND would explain why only 4 moms were doing it all.

I suggest you reach out to one of the board members and volunteer directly. Give them your contact info and let them know you want to help. I suggest you volunteer to be part of the board or committees for next year...maybe membership can be your focus (so you process the way you wished it had been this year).

**Updated** drop a letter off at the office addressed to the PTA president. Ask them to contact you and give your info. While in the office, ask for contact info for the PTA and use it.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes, they really are run this badly!
Generally they want everyone to pay dues and "join" and then they pick and choose who will "be involved" based on the clique.

Oh--and as for the point about bemoaning the lack of involvement--that's really just SOP.
Cue K.C. and the Sunshine Band:
"That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, they liiiiyyke it, uh-huh, uh-huh!"

My advice? Speak Up and Make Some Noise!
Moms did at our school and the change is refreshing (for the most part!).

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Try to keep in mind that it is run by volunteers: parents just like you. Kudos to you for attempting to join, raspberries to the loser that took the membership cards and disappeared. These things happen and the woman that stood up in front of everyone trying to get parents involved was doing a good thing. The fact that you said you were SO offended tells me that maybe you didn't have the nicest attitude when you approached her? I understand your frustration but try to remember these are parent volunteers just like you want to be. Step up next year and make it your mission that this never happens to anyone else. The principal should be able to get you in touch with the PTA president. In the meantime, relax and know it was human error and not personal.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

If you wrote your check to XYZ PTA that is where the money went, I don't think there is a big theft ring. Part of the money goes to the state PTA and a portion goes to the actual membership at your school. They have a non-profit checking account, a treasurer and auditor.

It is April, there have probably been a minimum of nine PTA meetings this year so far!! Did you attend any of them? These functions don't mysteriously happen, they are put together usually by a few people who are consistent with helping.

My daughter went to a great elementary school and I held every position possible as well as helped in the classroom. There were signs, newsletters, functions, meetings, assemblies and it was the same handful of people who helped. The fact that the teacher was clueless is a shame and I wouldn't have just accepted a shoulder shrug. She is the "T" in PTA.

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B.R.

answers from Tampa on

Hi! I am on the PTA board at my kids' elementary school & so much of what you've written is familiar (though not the same school). I have a slightly different point of view, but I hope you don't read this as me jumping all over you because I'm not, I'm just trying to explain things from the other perspective -

First, please understand that the PTA is run by other parents at the school volunteering (I cannot boldface or italicize that, but VOLUNTEERING is key) their time; some work, some have younger children at home or older parents to care for, some have plenty of free time.

Second, a portion of the $ you paid for membership should be sent on to the National PTA who uses that $ for scholarships, student awards, special program fees, etc. That $ doesn't pay for your own school programs or anything frivolous. Your school s/b holding fundraiser(s) to pay for educational & fun programs, updating technology, etc. Our PTA gives a big chunk of $ from fundraisers to support the school office, supplement classroom budgets, cover free lunches, etc. Your $ also paid for your PTA card, & you should have one in your possession - make sure you get it from the board - that should demonstrate that they sent the funds on as they should have.

From my own experience, I ended up on our board because I was a committee chair; some board members moved on as their kids were entering middle school & it felt appropriate to move into a board position. Let me tell you, being on an official National PTA-run school PTA board is not all laughter & party-planning - there are very specific rules that a board must follow, conferences to attend, programs that must be in place to support fundraisers, etc. There's a LOT that goes into being on the board & most people have no idea. There is a learning curve & turnover is frequent (as the kids change schools & parents move on), so there's often someone new on the board trying to figure it all out.

In our school, we collect the info of those interested in volunteering on different committees & every single one gets an email saying their information was collected/sorted & they w/b contacted when needed for the specific reason they signed up for. I send that email out; contact was not being made before. New members' info is disseminated to the committee chairs (also by me). Two things here: whether the committee chairs contact these people again to help out is ?able (again, they are volunteers, working or otherwise busy parents who neglect to contact people), but as a board member I myself have often contacted numerous people who initially expressed great, eager interest but then don't have the courtesy to respond back by phone, email, skywriting, whatever. I do feel there is more we could be doing (if we had the time), but I also feel that if one expresses interest & receives a call to participate, the least that person could do is respond back that they are no longer available or interested. It becomes so frustrating that oftentimes the handful of board members feel it is just quicker & easier to get it done themselves than trying to contact people who seem don't respond, & then just doing it themselves anyway.

It sounds like your PTA board is neglecting to make at least initial contact after signing new members. There's a website called Just Between Friends that the National & Florida PTA are encouraging boards to use for communication. Perhaps you can volunteer your time to chair the membership committee & make it a point to contact members? New board members will be selected by the end of May - attend meetings, get to know the current board members & let them know you are interested in being a part - as a committee chair or a board member.

As far as meetings, our board holds a monthly closed board meeting, but PTAs are required to hold only 3 open member meetings per year - to get anyone to come to them is extrordinarily difficult, which is why our school (& it sounds like yours) sticks to just the 3, rather than killing ourselves to hold more for just the handful of people who show. Also, we have begun attaching programs to our meetings as well because at least a dozen people might show up instead of just the board members & teacher rep. Good for you for attending your school PTA meetings! They really appreciate it, really.

Also, I know people have said the same about our school board seeming very clique-y - seems like such a TV-perpetuated idea (I think of Harper Valley PTA from the 70s). When I joined the board it wasn't because I was friends with any of the other board members, just that I was interested in helping & at least knew who they were because of having signed up to be a committee chair. All of those former board members have moved to middle school with their kids, & the current board members are women I've only met because they were interested & joined the board - we did not know each other previously, & don't get together otherwise outside of PTA events/meetings. If you want to be involved just sign up, let them know who you are, chair a committee, show up for events, volunteer & be dependable, & you can make positive changes to your school's PTA functionality. You can't get it fixed if you don't step up with not only your ideas but your time & dedication.

I hope you decide to become an active member of your PTA. I do apologize sincerely if this came across as a rant at all - it was really not intended to & I looked it over several times (how I read it in my head may sound differently, I know). It's a good thing, you can make positive changes in your child's school, but parents needs to step up & participate. :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Giving the benefit of the doubt, it sounds like they're plagued with poor leadership and communication problems. Our parent organizations are not official "PTA" groups so we don't do membership - anyone who has a child in the school is automatically a member. That said, communication is a challenge. In the school in which I am a PAC board member, we have 700 families but only 200 names on the e-mail list. That school doesn't have a centralized, school-wide e-mail list and if it did, it isn't authorized to share that list with us. We have to basically add people who ask to be added, and it's largely a manual process. We do use a free e-mail service called Parent Express (PEX) to manage our membership lists and that has helped a lot. People can unsubscribe from the list themselves via a link and we have a link on our school's website where people can click to be added. It's entirely possible that one person collected the membership info and dropped off the face of the earth and another handled the checks and didn't track all of the information on them. We had a chair who just stopped coming to meetings last year and avoided all of our efforts to contact her and that has happened with project leaders too. It happens all the time.

Also...the PTA isn't in charge of the school's website and may not have access to putting information there. I know that we have had a hard time in many schools with getting the website to give us space, so we've resorted to setting up Facebook pages, which no one updates. With the principal not bothering to get back to you, it sounds like communication is a problem at all levels. The PTA is at the mercy of the school administration - we can create all the notices we want but if the school doesn't sent them out for us, remember to put our meetings on the calendar and make it easy for people to find our information, there is nothing we can do about it.

Try not to be offended but look at this as an opportunity to serve your school via a group that badly needs some help with their communication and presence.

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

my answer was to another question, and I have NO idea how it got here, so I took it out.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

NO, they're not all like this. My co-president and I send out a newsletter every week about what's happening at school, and our contact info is at the bottom every time. We also post the newsletters with the list of board members in a display case ner the office and maintain a section on the school website. We are ridiculously easy to find.

PTAs are only as good as the leadership, and it sounds like you have a bum group. I think you're handling it well, asking questions and following up, and I agree with others who encourage you to take it further and get even more involved. When are their meetings, who is the point person, surely at least the principal knows this! Get in there and make positive changes, believe me you're not the only one at school who wishes it were different.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I always found it to be an "exclusive" group as well. They want your money, but they don't want to hear from you. My mom also found it the same way when we were kids. Wanted to join, but was essentially excluded.

One of these days, schools will be run for the benefit of the children, but probably not in my lifetime!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Wow, sounds like a very poorly organized PTA. For starters, as a paying member, you should have every right to see the treasurer's report and budget.

Most PTA's meet monthly and the financial report is discussed and voted on.

From the tone I picked up from the mom who "was one of 4 moms to make thins happen" she wants attention, woe is me, I worked so hard and no one appreciates it, blah blah blah....

It sounds as if there is a clique running your PTA and they are not very accepting of new volunteers and participants because they want to run the show their way.

STILL...... PTA's get audited, they have to account for monies brought in and going out. You have every right to ask for a treasurer's report. Something smells fishy with the PTA.

Good luck getting answers.

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sorry, this can be frustrating. This is why I have nothing to do with the PTA. I volunteer and donate directly to my son's classroom or I donate to the school district's educational foundation. There are plenty of ways to get involved without the PTA. They have a drive or fundraiser or event every time I turn around.

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M.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Considering this mysterious other member who was never heard from again stole your money, shouldn't they have informed the whole group? Hey, people! Someone stole your money, so if you wanted to be part of the PTA but didn't get any info, please let us know! Our other member went AWOL!

I'd be extremely upset by this. They should have better organization to not only not lose people's money, but also let you know if this has happened.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

Hmm PTa and Me never did seem to get along. I use to go to the meetings in the morning and even helped out in the lunch room. What I came to notice more and more it was about the clique of the 3 or 4 main pta moms and the rest were fodder. I'm usually all for going to the principle to complain etc but this time it will probably put you off with the principle because she has to deal with the clique pta parents who basically rule her school. You didnt say if it was a private pto or a public school pta. Public school should have a pta link you can see. Did you ever go for your background check? If you joined the pta but want to help at the school that would be the next step. Do not need to contact PTa for that. Front office should have those forms. Probably to lae for this year as you need to renew the background every year. Prepare for next year So sign up for the PTA, get yoru background done. Sign up as classroom mom and lunch room duty. Even agree to help out in other classes who do not have a classroom mom. Keep your head down and do not challenge the prima clique President the first year.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

What I find most upsetting about this is the principal. He's the one who is ultimately responsible.

Many PTA's are mismanged. Many of them are excellent. Most fall exactly in the middle.

I think you did the right thing. I would also recommend that you contact your state's PTA to find out if the money was ever forwarded to them. If yes, ask for your membership card. If not, ask them what action they will be taking.

R.H.

answers from Austin on

For the first time in my Mamapedia life, I agree to a mama contacting the principal!!! Heck, yeah, you have a right to be upset at this!

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Yes, many ARE run this badly and I would think it would be your own personal responsibility to find out when the monthly meetings are held and becoming involved yourself. I am the vice president of my son's school's organization and I do not call moms when we have meetings, I send out monthly reminders a 7-10days before the meeting. So, I think you need to accept some of the responsibility here, you could have called the school to find out when the next meeting was to be held. Ours are the first Tuesday of each month - it is standard for them to be held in that manner.

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