Raising a 2 Year Old Grandchild Who Is Confused

I was a child that was raised by her grandparents. I'm 27 now. I was 9 months old when my mom left and my dad thought we would have a better life if my grandparents raised us. I can remember when I called my granny mom she would correct me and say no I'm granny. It was hard for me to understand at that young age and it hurt but that is one thing I remember. She's my mom and she will always be. If your grandbaby wants to call you mom, let them.

since he has had changes of his parents issues and people coming and going in his life, he will be confused. just work with him and repeat if need to of who is who to him. also maybe take pictures of his closest relatives and put them in a book and show him the photos on a daily basis and explaine who is who to him. his little world has been turned around. also to occupie his time with kids his age, a good day care may help. and kid counceling. good luck and happy holidays, C.

You and your husband are mommy and daddy. You are just as young as most of the children in his classes parents will be. My hubby and I where in our 30's when our son was born and where sure we would be the "old" parents. the reality is we are some of the younger parents. Many people are not having childrent until the mid 40's. As for the child. It seems you are going to be the custodial parents/adoptive parents. He can call your son Daddy"namehere" and your husband Daddy"namehere". THis was as he is older you give him little bits as he needs them. OUr son is adopted. He is now 9. He recently ask what his birthmother's name was. I explained that wasn't information he needed at this time, but I could tell him alot about her. He thought that was great and was satisfied with that info. IF he ask you say, Daddy"son" was very young when you where born and unable to take good care of you and him. So God and "son" gave you to us to be our boy and love and raise you up. You can say something similar when he ask about a "mom". Don't bring it up until he ask. He will in time and it is ok. If yo don't have any custody agreements/adoption I would really advise you to contact a paternity/family attorney and get that taken care of. It seems your son,( I'm assuming) would be willing to do this. IF you don't his mother, which has abandoned him" could come one day to his school when he is in first or second grade and take him and there would be nothing you could do about it. IT would take alot of time and money ( well worth it of course) to get him back, if at all. I know this isn't what you had planned for your middle years, but it seems you have embrassed it and are a great mom!!!!!! Good luck. I saw your other post for a play group. it isn't in Sand Springs, but there is a great mom's group in Broken Arrow at The Assembly. They meet a couple of times a month. Sometimes the kids are playing seperately and the moms have adult time and other times they do stuff with the kids. They have been meeting for about 9 1/2 years. When my guy was little I LOVED IT> Some of the same ladies are there and I know several of them are over 40. One lady I know that goes had 3 little ones in 4 years all after 40. the coordinator of this group is Marsha Wilson she can be reached through the church office at ###-###-####. She is the nursery and preschool coordinator for the church and a mom of a toddler as well. I hope you enjoy him everyday and thank God for the opportunity.

When the child is in the room with a relative, I would just phrase things like, "Go show Aunt Susie that race car!" Uncle Mike, Papa, Nana, Cousin Joe, etc Show him a picture of a family tree on an actual tree print out, explaining to him how he is related and then show him the cousins side and go up to their mom and dad.

Hope this helps

All little ones struggle with who is aunt, uncle, etc. Of course, he is more confused between Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa. I was divorced from my kids father when they were fairly small and what I did was to emphasize the "specialness" of our family. Make it sound like he is special to have a unique family. And don't try to answer too much. Just keep the answers simple and age appropriate. The older he gets and interacts with other children, the more he will realize that his situation is not all that unique. There are many grandparents raising grandchildren for a whole lot of reasons. Just keep it as positive as possible and he will be just fine.

I agree with Beth A - Enjoy them and make no big deal out of this. WHen he is older he will be able to understand the Mom/Dad Pappa/Nana thing with you and your husband.

You may want to take a 4 inch folder and address it - THIS IS YOUR LIFE - Put his baby pictures and documents in it. Also put a picture of you and your husband with caption Pappa/Nona Mon/Dad. A picture of his mother and father captioned Mommy/Daddy.

This will make no big deal of the situation and when he becomes of age will make a wonderful gift for him.

You and others raising grandchildren may appreciate reading a paper back book = Coffee with Nona =

God Bless

I would just keep explaining to your grandson that they are his aunt and uncle, but I don't think there is any harm with him calling them Mom and Dad. As he gets older, he'll understand the situation better and will probably grow out of it. One of my friends in high school was raised by her grandparents and she just called them Mom and Dad, because that's what they really were to her. Also, my son called my baby sitter's husband Daddy for the longest time, but one day he just snapped out of it. He quit doing it after I quit trying to get him to stop, go figure. As long as you are trying to explain the situation as best you can, I'm sure your grandson will eventually understand and I don't think any damage will be done.