Reading Books to Your Kids

Updated on September 18, 2008
K.C. asks from Solon, OH
17 answers

I have a 4 year old boy and 18 month old boy twins. My first child always loved when I read books to him and he still does. Only one of my twins will sit to listen to me read and the other one has no desire. Does anyone have an child that has no desire reading? My twins were born premature and the twin that doesn't seem to care about books is the one that had a lot of preemie issues. The neurologist said that a lot of preemie boys usually have ADHD when they are older. I worry about that and wonder if this is a sign of ADHD? He just started walking a few weeks ago, but before he walked he still didn't care about books. Just seeking your thoughts.

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R.N.

answers from Columbus on

only my 1st born wanted me to read to her... the remaining 3 wanted everyone BUt me to read to them they would go to the library programs, read with grandmas etc... nothing form me so I learned to let others read to them.... my son, hated the library and now at 4 he is starting to be interested in reading and is starting to let me read tohim but its been a long 4 years and i am a teacher!!

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S.H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Like Julie said, my soon liked to listen he just didn't like to sit. I would read and let him build legos or color showing me something from the story.

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S.C.

answers from Evansville on

My boys go from really wanting to be read to to showing no intrest at all in a matter of seconds. I was getting frustrated whem my mom said, "Just let them play & keep reading. They're still listening." Let him color or play quietly in the floor while you read. Even if he's not sitting with you, he's still absorbing it & maybe he'll get sucked in & come see what all the excitement's about.

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H.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think that they are too young to worry about ADHD, but they're not too young to start working on things to encourage a longer attention span. Just keep reading - maybe find books about their favorite cartoon characters (my kids love the Backyardigans and have every book!) or something else they are familiar with like "Thomas the Train". Make sure to make the story more exciting with different voices and volume. He may just be a busy little boy who doesn't want to sit still. Read to your other children while he plays in the room and if you really make it exciting he'll want to see what it's all about. If you give up all together he obviously won't have the chance!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Boys are funny when it comes to sitting still. With my son, I would sit and read and as soon as he jumped up, I would just stop. I read to him everyday and it took forever to get to page 10! But, before too long, I was making it through entire books. It's funny too, because my daughter will sit and let me read to her for an hour, but not Brayden! No way, TOOOOOOO many things to do with those boys! Just keep reading, but not making him sit there when he is ready to get up. Now, my boy is 4 years old and reads the books himself to me!

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

My son never really cared about sitting still for book reading until he was about 3 years old. He'd make it through 2 pages (of a very toddler friendly book and we'd make it interactive by asking questions, pointing at things, etc -- he just didn't care). However, today he's reading chapter books (just finished another Magic Schoolbus chapter book last night) and devours a chapter book in 1-2 days. He's reading at a 5th grade level.... and he's about to enter 1st grade! No sign of ADHD or anything like that. He was just a normal busy toddler who couldn't be bothered to sit still for 5 minutes - for anything.

One thing I did was continue to read to him. Every night at bedtime we read (and still do) 20-30 minutes. He was rarely sitting next to me, but we read. He would wander across the room to play with a truck and then wander back to take a peek at a picture and then wander away again to play with a train. But he was listening! While playing a few days later he'd recite or act out part of the book we read. He could answer questions about the book days and even weeks later! So I know he was paying attention, even though it didn't seem like it at the time.

So don't give up and stop reading. Keep doing it. Keep showing him it's a just 'something we do', it's normal, it's part of life, etc and eventually he'll wander back to take a peek at a picture and sit down and stay awhile. :-)

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

My 16 month old will not sit to read a book if his older brother is on my lap as well. He will only read if he has myself or my husband all to himself. Have you tried having everyone gone but him to read to? I know, not very easy, especially with twins.

I remember my older one went through phases of whether he would let you read or not. He has usually been a book reader. The worst punishment to give him is no books. But even still, there were a few months here and there in the toddler years that he just could not sit still for anything, even his most beloved books.

Don't bee too quick to think ADHD. Sure, that could come into play somewhere down the line. He is just too young to start worrying about that. I think all toddlers could be diagnosed just because they are acting their age. Keep reading to those that will listen. If you read to the others while he wanders around, he is likely getting something out of it and will likely in time choose to sit for it.

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L.D.

answers from Columbus on

We started reading to our daughter when she was about 6 months old. She started reading herself at age 2. She is now 22 and still an avid reader. I had 6 day care children. Of those 6 only one would sit to listen to any reading. But when you read to one the others hear it whether they realize it or not. So just keep reading and the other will hear even if not really interested. Maybe later there will be an interest.
mddhf

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R.B.

answers from Columbus on

I have 5 boys (9, 8, 5, 4 and 1). Everyone else but the 4 year old was interested in reading. He wanted no part of it! When it came time to do anything remotely educational, he just showed no interest and it was upsetting to me at first. He did not walk until well after 2 years old and potty trained late. I was getting quite concerned. My other boys were all reading at an early age and I was getting quite stressed about it. When we would work on reading small words, he would hide his face and say, "It's too hard." So, I let it go. I still continued to read with the others, work on vocabulary words while the 4 year old did something else. Well, out of the blue, he began to pick up books and look through them. He wanted to participate in coloring and writing with the others. I found that he works better one on one and was intimidated by his older brothers. So we took time one-on-one and worked on reading and vocabulary. He can now read small passages and write simple words (like LOVE, POP, DAD, etc.) I finally realized that he just does things on his own timetable and he had to feel comfortable with it. Try working with him one-on-one. Kids love that special attention. I know it is hard with multiple children, believe me! But kids need to feel like they are the only ones in our lives and when they have that feeling, they will blossom. There is a good possiblity there is nothing medically wrong with your child but only you know your child, so if you feel that ADHD may be an issue, by all means talk to your pediatrician. Good luck!

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

My youngest son ands now the youngest grandson will not sit still for reading much. When my kids were in school I loved going in and working in the classroom and library. I read to kindergaten classes as well as one of the first grade class and found out that sometimes it is an ADHD issue or they just are too hyper or they have to much energy or they just find the book boring. I started asking the teachers what they were learning in class and choosing better books. I also asked questions of them about the book as I went along. It seemed to help. Somtimes the words are just so big and too many. Make up your own story as you go along also helps.

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

Regardless if your children are preemie a or not , each child is different. You can go into any home and find that each child likes something different. My oldest 2 sons don;t like to read but my 2 youngest love to read. I don't know why, that's who they are. May be you twin would enjoy listening to a story on tape. We all learn differently. Maybe he is not a visual learner like your other 2 but remember they are only 18 months. Hecould still behave differently in 12 months. I really recommend you read a couple of books about raising boys. I have 3 boys and one girl and I have learned that I knew nothing about boys. Boys are different than girls. SO us mothers are wired differently than our boys. We can not expect to raise our boys the way we were raised. Girls care how people and pleasing them ;boys don't do that. While your still young check out from the library; Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax , The Mind of Boys by Michael Gurian and Bringing up Boys by James Dobson. Don't wait like me. My boys are now 25,15,10 and I wish I had read this years ago. I would have done things differently. Now I am trying to undo everything I've done. ANd don't worry about ADHD. These books will talk about this too.I have a son who was diagnosed with ADHD and one with Asperger's , part of the problem with some of these issues is the way we are raising our kids creates or causes kids to end up in this category. Not all of the kids but some. But I know a lot of kids who have it and the school environment has caused some of these issues. Start by not worrying about your kids and what they don;t have and just enjoy them. Look at each one of your kids as a gift and realize what's inside will be different for each one and realize your responsibility is to help them findtheir own gifts inside. Good luck to you.

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N.N.

answers from Columbus on

You are lucky to have 2 who will sit for a book. I have 3 girls ages 18 mos. -8yrs. None of them would ever sit for a book at 18 mos. My 8 yr old is now a book worm and her 6 yr old sister is learning to read, but not yet well enough to enjoy sitting through it. All kids are different and have different activity levels. As they mature they will change and they may one day "discover" the magic of books.

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A.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Both of my kids were full term, but my oldest LOVED looking at books, being read to, pretending she was doing the reading, etc. My younger one couldn't have cared less until he was about 4 1/2. He didn't spend much time looking at books on his own, and didn't have much interest in being read to, either. But all of a sudden he came around and now loves it. I think kids just have different interests and agendas...keep trying, but don't get discouraged yet!

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S.L.

answers from Cincinnati on

ADHD can not and should not be diagnosed until school age (7). I know this because I had a similar situation w/my son- Preschool said he was ADD at 3 1/2- went to see ped to talk about it. He said boys are boys- too many schools/daycares etc expect that all boys will sit in their seats and always follow direction which isn't really possible for kids younger then 1st grade. WHY? because boys brains develop differently from girls where they don't have the emotional maturity girls have at younger ages. BTW I work in med field and have surveyed MANY child neuros/psychs Who basically all agree. Are there exceptions? There are always exceptions. But for you it's not likely yet. Some kids are just not that into books. But they also like to mimic adults- so read yourself- book/paper/magazine and he may become interested. Hope this helps!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Does he look at books on his own? My son loves to "read" books to himself but doesn't like to sit down and be read to. I figure it's just a phase.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Start w/ one on one and SIMPLE ones that you can get through quickly. At some point, you need to "make" him focus. In other words, "when you find the pig and the picture, then you can get down and play" kind of thing. Otherwise, how will they ever make it thru school. They start with SMALL tasks of focusing. Try more one on one rather than the two of them at times. See if that helps. Sometimes, the other one can be a distraction.

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S.K.

answers from South Bend on

My twins are now 9, (4 boys in all) and I don't remember them sitting still for much of anything at 18 months. (unless they were quietly getting into something they weren't supposed to! lol) One thing that you have to remember, and if you haven't discovered yet... you will soon, is that twins are a whole other breed. It's hard to explain.. they're just different. My mother just couldn't understand why my twins got into so much trouble as toddlers, you couldn't turn your back for an instant... but it was because they were TWINS! LOL! (tearing their curtains from the walls, emptying drawers if they had a dresser in their room, climbing out of their cribs at 15 months, taking off their diapers during naptime and smearing poop on the walls, getting into the cupboard and dumping an entire box of cereal in 1.3 seconds flat...etc) It was constant. They were always thinking up something and always on the go... I don't remember them really sitting to read a story until they were a little older and understood more... like maybe 2 1/2. I had my first child 2 years before the twins were born, so it was a complete culture shock for me. My oldest was always EXTREMEMELY well behaved for a little one, NEVER doing something that he wasn't supposed to and always very calm and sweet. Don't get me wrong, my twins are awesome little people and they always have been... it's just different.

One thing that I'd like you to keep in mind as yours get older, is to be very careful about the 'ADHD' label. Mine were also premature, and immature for their ages. In kindergarten their teacher wanted me to have one in particular evaluated for ADHD or ADD. They were only 5 yrs old. I fought it for months, refusing... knowing that they are just little boys... what 5 yr old boy sits still all day. Plus, I knew my twins were very active. Eventually I gave in and took him to a child psychologist to have him evaluated, because I didn't want to ignore a problem if there truly was a problem. The child psychologist said that he did indeed have ADHD with other behavorial problems developing. He put him on Adderall. My child went from a happy, (sometimes naughty), but very active child... to a zombie kid who refused to eat and cried if anyone touched him at all or tried to play with him. It was horrible... I tried giving him time to adjust to the meds, because his teacher said he was doing so much better sitting and listening in kindergarten. I gave it 6 months, and finally took him off of the meds because he was not a normal child anymore. The next year he started 1st grade, and was top of his class. Both of my twins are straight A students, going into 4th grade now, and are at a 7th grade reading level. So I guess that even though the "professionals" diagnosed him with ADHD at 5 yrs old... he really did not have it at all.

I know this is a lot of babbling... I just want you to know that these are the same boys who couldn't sit for a story at 18 months old. It doesn't mean they are prone to have ADHD (mine were preemies too) or that they will hate to read later.

Best of luck to you with your little boys.... it's always an adventure! :o)

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