Rights as a Single Mom

Hi, i honestly think that you have to go to the court house and file him for child support and when you both are summoned to go, the judge determines how much he'll give based on his income maybe. but you don't decide that. also in the hospital i believe there is no form to give. you just decide whether or not to give the last name for records and stuff. but thats what i think. And he does not support you, he supports the baby. Hope i helped.

Hi Poeta,

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yeah, i hate to tell you, but everyone is right, he has NO obligation to support YOU. he does however have to support your child. like another woman mentioned, they will go by where you live (cost of living), what he brings home monthly, how many children he's paying for (if you were to have had more then 1 child by him, it would go up!), and sometimes even what kind of money you bring in...so the monthly payments are rarely the same for different people. from what i've seen, you can be getting anywhere from $50/month to $400/month (just remember the $400/month is from someone making A LOT OF MONEY!!! so if he doesn't, don't expect that kind of money). most of the time (unless you don't need it, or agree that he doesn't have to provide it) they have the father provide insurance for the child, not you. IF the father agrees on everything, you may not have any problems with the courts, it may all go smoothly (yet still take time)...just make sure you start the process very soon. call up family court in your area, and ask them exactly what steps you have to take, and exactly when you should start the process. and it's best to definitely have things in writing. if he agrees to help you out now, make sure it's documented (even if through email). and make sure you bring that in when you talk to someone about the support. i wish you the best of luck, and hope that things stay civil between you both for your sake, and the child's!

M.,

This can get kind of complicated, and your rights, and his rights aren't clearly defined by the law.

The first point is that he has absolutely no legal obligation to support YOU. He has an obligation to help support the child. That's why they call it child support. How much the courts will ask him to pay depends on where you live, which judge you get, and how much money he makes. Expect it to be half of what it costs to raise a child per month. That number is open to interpretation, which is why not everyone gets the same amount per month. It depends on who is carrying the baby on their insurance policy, how much day care costs and how many hours per week the child is in day care, what your housing costs are and how much of that is attributed to having the child live with you, all kinds of things.

As for him signing anything, having his name on the birth certificate is enough, unless he claims that the baby isn't his. Then you need a paternity test. That is just a blood test for him and the baby, and can prove that he's the father. He can request one, or the courts can make him take one, if he says the baby isn't his. If he acknowledges that he is the father, then it isn't necessary. All he has to do is agree to have his name on the birth cert.

Hi M., Depending on where you live your rights as a single mother can vary. Give your child your last name, it makes everything so much easier. You child's father will be responsible for child support depending on his income and if this is his first child, this child will get more money then if it is a second or third child in a similar situation. As far as the child's father supporting you since you aren't married, I am pretty sure that he is not responsible for that. If you were married and divorced he would have to pay alimony and provide a place for your child to live until your child is of legal age. As soon as your child is born go and get legal custody of him/her. That is very important. I think if he goes and applies for it first he can get legal custody. As I said, it depends on what state you live in. If you need legal aid, you can check that out.
Find out your rights to protect yourself and your child. Good luck to you and your baby.

Well M., speaking from experience, yes there is a form he can sign at the hospital when you give your baby his name. I would also suggest if you are not getting married, you give your child your last name or both names hyphenated.

While it is a huge pain in the butt, in the long run, you are better off getting child support through the courts so that it comes right out of his employment check, this way should things between the two of you disolve (hope not), that way your child will continue to receive the support. Even if the baby's father is a wonderful man and your are going to live together, it is better to get EVERYTHING IN WRITING and done legally. You do not want to regret having made the wrong choices when it comes to your child's welfare.

Good Luck to you all!

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When i gave birth, my son's father and i were "together". At the hospital, he decided he did want my son to have his last name. In order to do this, he had to sign a paternity paper. Without that, I would have been forced to give my son my last name. If he refused to sign and i wanted anything from him financially i would have had to take him to court for a DNA test. (I am dealing with NY state law, i don't know if paternity/custody/ support laws vary from state to state.) Since then, I have CHOSEN to be single. My ex has some gov. financial support so he supplies all my son's formula and usually gives me about $50-$100/month. This has been working so far. However, now that i am aplpying for daycare assistance through social services, I am required to file for child support. The intake number i called is ###-###-####. It is my understanding, from other women i have talked to who receive child support, that the father should contribute 17% of his wages to you. Also, if you are using daycare without any assistance programs, the father is responsible for 40%. If you and the child's father get along for the most part, or are atleast civil, you may be able to come up with an agreement between the both of you without having to go through any court orders. Then, i would suggest notarized agreements. Good luck to you and congratulations on being a first time mommy!

Hi M. P. Your baby's father will need to sign the birth certificate to claim paternity. You should consult with a family court attorney to file for child support, which will likely be a certain percentage of the father's income. He will not have any obligation to support you, just to provide a reasonable amount of support for his child. Both parents are expected to contribute to the child's support. Good luck!

Hello,

If you go to court for child support, you would be entitled to 17% of his earnings for one child.

I know there is a document that the father has to sign, and I believe get notarized, to ensure that the child has his last name.

I am a little lost with regards to your comment about him having to legally support you. Are you talking about something other than child support?

there is no certain amount that the baby's father has to give, you need to go to Domestics, at your local court house and file for child support. They'll set up a court date where they will figure out how much you need and how much he can give you and determine an appropriate amount. If you feel this isn't enough, I think you can appeal for more every three years (that amount could be incorrect).
Also, there is no document for him to sign that says he has to legally support you. Unless you both go to a lawyer and he agrees to support you and you get that put in writing. That's the only way you can hold him liable. If you were married, that is when he would be legally obligated to support you also, but since you're not...he has no obligations (there is such a thing has "common law marriage"...i don't know how much the judicial system supports this anymore, and in what circumstances, but basically if you were together for at least 7 years (i think it's 7), you MIGHT be able to get a judge to make a decision on having him support you for at least a little bit...or if he was previously supporting you and now has stopped).
Hope that helps!

You have no right to support. if you can prove paternity and take him to court he has to legally support the baby only. If you were married then maybe you could have gotten spousal support.

you have to get this right, he is not supporting YOU. He is supporting the baby you two made together. this is no way a means to living. you have contribute your half. So, the child support that he will pay, which if you two cant decide something together a judge will decide for you will go towards diapers, food, clothing and anything else the baby might need. its all different now but make sure u get this figured out before the baby comes.
The babys father will have to sign the birth certificate at the hospital. thats something else u will need to talk about.

Well, it's alittle funny actually. He will have to sign the birth certificate and that is his paternal claim, if you take him to court it's something like 17% of his income for child support in NY. However, he doesn't have to support you personally. You will have to get on Public Assistance until you are ready to go back to work (usually 3months) They will help you find a job and give you rent assistance, day care, food stamps, medicaid and heat and elect assistance. If he has medical insurance he will have to put the child on his plan as a stipulation of the custody agreement and you will have the state coverage. Call your local center and find out how to apply in your area (it's different everywhere). Good Luck to you, I too am a single mother but I get no child support so it was very hard at first but you will overcome the hardship and your baby is worth all of the trouble at the end of the day!

I sugest you have a consultation with a lawyer, you want to have the best advise when it comes to your baby's future.

M.-

First all, good for you in wanting to raise the child as a single mom. As previous requests have said, you will need to get a family court lawyer so they can determine how much child support the child. I wish you the best of luck.

Hi - As someone in the same boat, the most important thing is to always remain calm and put yourself and the baby first. When it comes to rights and support you have to go to your local court house and file papers. It becomes alittle overwelming however you know the baby is 1st priority when it comes to his wages. My son's father and I are on great terms and I still filed the papers because you never know how the future will turn out. When you fill out the paper work it's now in the states hand. New Jersey will make sure you get 65% of his salary. Do it soon though. I filed over 2 months ago and haven't seen any money from his paychecks. He writes personal checks from his account until it's all straightened out. Good Luck

Firstly I would suggest to get a lawyer. If you have one you will get the appropriate things you should get as a single mother.Having a lawyer can get expensive but is worth it in the long run for you and your child.The amount you recieve from child support will vary depending on your income and your x's income. Along with wether or not your child is in daycare, then you will get alittle bit more.The only thing he will sign when you give birht is the birth certificate but even then you are not required to have him sign it. That depends on your siduation. I am a single mom my daughter has her fathers last name and sees him every other weekend. Although, he agreed to give me full custody pay for her health insurance and I recieve 200.00 dollars a week including daycare.He is an active part of her life even though we are no longer together.

In Orange County NY I called the courts while pregnant and was told that I could not file for child support until the baby was born. He will need to sign an acknowledgement of paternity at the hospital & if he refuses, the court will make him take a DNA test when you do go. But you do need to file immediately after the baby is born to get arrears. Also, remember not to go into court with the attitude that you want to be supported. He does not have any obligation to support you, only a partial obligation to support your child. The courts get angry when it seems that people are there for themselves & not the child.

Best of luck! Court is hell, but your baby is so worth your efforts.

I just wanted to add to my message after reading others:
I'm sure everything is different in Counties & especially states. In Orange County NY however, you can have whatever name you want on the birth certificate. My sister had an unusual situation & her children had a different last name than her & their father. You don't have any legal obligation to use any last name, honestly you could make one up if you wanted. My sister used her fiance's mother's maiden name for her children because of some issues & now all 4 of them have that last name, but her son is 2 1/2 & has always had it. The hospital can not tell you what to name your child.

Also, you do need to file for custody right away as well, that is so important to have.

I am only recieving about 10% of my son's father's income due to different circumstances, so nobody gets an exact amount, the courts will tell you when you go through it, it can be very frustrating though, what I get can barely buy diapers for the month... also if a man is on public assistance they do not have to pay anything! Is that insane or what? But it's true, I've seen it happen. So basically expect the least, and hope for the most.

& one last thing... the court clerk told me that the most important peice of paper to have is the acknowledgement of paternity, even more important than a birth certificate. They will give you one at the hospital for you & the father to sign, and then it gets filed with the state. I went through that because we were not married either.

M.,
I am also a single mother and you will have to have him sign the birth certificate when the baby is born and then either have a mutual agreement to have him pay you or take him to court for child support. You ARE intitled to 17% of what he makes for your child. If you do decide to go thru court have it paid thru the child support enforcement bureau so that way they keep track of how much you get and when you get your payments. If there is anything that I can help you with please feel free to email me ____@____.com I have been thru it all. Hope this helps you some what

A.