S 13 Yo Son and Learning Center Rebellion

I think I would set first thing in the morning for his work time. Then if he doesn't do the work or if you find that he's put no effort into the work, then he has to spend the entire day either in his room or doing chores. You need to make it so it is advantageous for him to do the work right the first time. He will make your day hell, but one or two of them and I bet he gets on the band wagon!

Well I'm sure it's pretty obvious to you now that you need to check his work BEFORE you let him leave the house!
My youngest is 13 and also behind in reading.
Unfortunately I have to force her to read during the summer as well, she sure doesn't want to do it on her own.
I find it easier to enforce when it's a first you do this, before you get that situation.
She reads two chapters a day. There's no TV, computer, going to a friend's house, going to the pool or anything else she wants to do until she's done the reading.
Sure she bitches and moans about it almost every day, but there's just no arguing, she either does it or she doesn't get to see her friends or do anything else, period. It's not a choice, she NEEDS to strengthen her reading skills.
Once she actually starts the reading it really doesn't take her that long, and most of the books are books she actually enjoys (I put her in a weekly book club with some of her friends, run by a local teacher.)
Oh, and I make SURE she has actually done the reading by asking her to retell the story, what's happening, etc. Since I'm familiar with the stories it's not like she can fake it (not that she ever has!)

I agree. First thing in the morning, he needs to do this work, maybe with you or dad sitting next to him.

He cannot do anything else for the rest of the day until this work has been completed and you/ dad check the work and give him permission to get up from the desk.

Zero tolerance .
No tv, video, cell phone, going out.... Nothing if he does not do the work and you go over it with him.

School is his job right now. Since he needs to work overtime, he is doing it during the summer.

You also should read a book together. Maybe get 2 copies. It can be his choice. He reads aloud to you for a few paragraphs and then you read 2 paragraphs. At the end of each chapter, discuss what the chapter was about.

This will reinforce his comprehension from his own reading and from listening.

He may find using a piece of paper or a ruler to guide his eyes will help him read easier.
First have him read to you without the guide, then you hold a guide while he reads, see if it helps. I tutored a few boys and each time we found, using the guide was the secret.
Hang in thre. Maybe give him a weekly goal. If he completes hs work for 5 days straight with no complaining, he can go to the movies.. Skateboard park...Or something.. But be strict about it. No negotiations..
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I agree with Cheryl. And you HAVE to stick to your guns. No negotiating.

My boys (9 and 11) know that they get NO privleges if they don't do their chores first thing. They get stuck in their rooms with nothing.

A thought: Ensure that he is reading at least 1 hour a day. No comic or picture books. Real chapter books at his Lexile ability.

Thank you for trying to do something over the summer to help his schooling!

I work with a lot of students (in middle school) that struggle with reading, and I admire your determination to help him.

You didn't mention it, but does he get any assistance during the school year? Has be been evaluated by the school for learning disabilities or dyslexia? You might want to look into this when school starts once again.

I agree with the others that you have to check it BEFORE he gets any rewards... and if it is obvious that he is just putting any word down, he has to do it again.... and again, if necessary.

Is there someone else that can do it with him? Maybe hire a "tutor" (HS student wanting to go into education, maybe) that would be willing to work with him? He may work better with someone else..... I know you've already put money into the program, but if he is going to fight you for hours, maybe having someone else do it would work better.

First thing in the morning would be best.... set a routine..... get up, eat breakfast, relax for 30 minutes, and then start on the work.

No discussion, arguing.... if he sucks you into the argument, he 'wins' by taking it off his shoulders.. (hard to explain what I mean, sorry). Don't yell, just restate 'You need to do this worksheet BEFORE you get to do anything else. End of discussion, period." Just state that calmly and rationally, and just keep repeating it if necessary. If you feel he will start destroying things, remove everything in his room, if necessary except the mattress on the floor and a desk. Make him earn the things back, if necessary.

I like the idea of reading a chapter book together..... I frequently read with students... they read a paragraph or two, and then I read a paragraph or two. Find a book that interests him.

Again, thank you for your determination to help him!

Our son learned to read and write Spanish in kindergarten at 4, BEFORE he learned to read and write English. In Spanish EVERY sound keeps the same sound, so it's easy. Then, he'd read English and pronounce FUN as FOON...but figured out how to say it. He's now 9 and reads at a HS level. Maybe forget traditional stuff and put him in Spanish? He'll learn to read (and sound things out) before you know it.

My 6 year old reads his own homework direction and my 4 year old can read 3 letter words. We started with LEAP FROG TAG stuff. I'm not telling you this to toot my own horn, just that all kids are different, but my first son started reading at 4 and my 2nd son wasn't ready until he was almost 6.

This is part of the problem with school....kid get left behind all of the time. My 9 yo son is going into 6th grade next year. He's ahead of everything BUT math. He hates it. We homeschool. I work. It can be done. He wasn't developmentally ready for some of the math concepts, so we finished 4th and 5th grade math this past year. He'll never get left behind.

If none of those options work for you, tell him that you have to do your job being a parent and he needs to do his job. Explain that if you didn't care about him you'd let him struggle with reading. I tell my son when he complains about homework that he doesn't have to do it, but realize that if he doesn't learn this stuff, he'll only be able to get a job that pays him $9/hour. We sit down and do the math together. He won't be able to own a car, let alone fill it with gas or insure it. Forget about vacations. Forget about kids. Forget about supporting a wife. Forget about weekends off. He might actually need 2 full time jobs to function....and the worst part is that someone tells him what hours to work and dictates his lifestyle by dictating the pay offered. That conversation quickly gets him back on track, since he loves the idea of driving AND vacations. LOL

I know a gal who was home schooled by a parent who was a school bus driver. Her 17 year old daughter started Pepperdine University here in Malibu on scholarship and double majored in 2.5 years. There are so many options. You could even tell him you are going to homeschool him if he doesn't help you help him. ;)

Good luck. Keep breathing.

TIGER MOMS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But go in soft, explain you deep concerns, weep if you have to, bring in statistics about poor readers, get back up - is there no father any where? A male role model anywhere?
So - give him a choice - I'd tell him that you were going to pull him out of the Kumon Program, but that he has to repay you your $$. He can give you back the cash or take it out in chores with a neutral/positive attitude. A negative attitiude will cost him.
Then pull all privileges (SP?) - NO TV (remove it from the home, if you can) NO computer (remove it from the home, if you can), NO electroincs, NO outtings, NO privileges - none what so ever. He can earn them back after reading - 10 hours of reading will get him back his computer time, 20 time will get him back his TV, etc.
Find him something he will like to read - Harry Potter? Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Captain Underpants?
After 2 weeks of no insisting on Kumon, see about a reading tutor - check with your local library. Maybe one on one time will be better for him than small group. Being a poor reader is hard, and as a teen he is probably really embarassed, humiliated about going to KUMON.
Continue to fight and remember that you are the mom, not the friend. And the school has GOT to do something for you - contact the schoool board if you have to - they have completely failed in their responsibility to educate your son.
Good luck!