Sahm's of Young Kids, What Are Your Days Like?

Hi there! I hear you! My son is 22 months old and my daughter is 2 months old. I haven't got it completely together, but my day is pretty structured, so here is what I do:

My husband gets up with my son and I get up with our daughter in the mornings. We wake the kids if they aren't up already (this has yet to be a problem with our daughter, and we wake our son to make sure he's ready for nap on time). While I feed her, he feeds him. Then he (briefly) watches both of them while I shower. He goes to work, and I get the kids dressed. We troop downstairs where I eat while my son plays. I have found a baby carrier (I have a Baby Bjorn and a Beco) invaluable, because I can hold my daughter and still have both hands free to eat, clean, or play with my son. Plus, she then gets plenty of Mommy time since she's being "held" constantly, and I also talk to her about what's going on. That way, when she sleeps and I put her down, no guilt! I make sure that putting my son down for his nap is his special time with me, too, and his sister gets put down then (even if she isn't thrilled about it) so that we can read stories and sing together. When making lunch or whatever, I put my daughter in her high chair so that she can see us, and I get my son involved helping me. We are on a very strict schedule for my son (we have to be, or else everything would fall apart) but my daughter is too young, so I have to play it by ear with her. I make sure we get out at least twice a week, even if it's just to go shopping, because I need that time. My son goes to the gym for free play once a week, which works well, too. Good luck! It's exhausting when they're this little.

First of all, let your 2.5 yr old entertain himself for a while! That is one of the most valuable lessons that you can teach him. As for the youngest, your're still gonna have to go the baby's schedule. Learn to take your showers/baths at night after the kids are in bed and while your hubbies home. I was always very strict with my kids eating and nap routines- and it definitely pays in the long run! All the other stuff in between just relax and go with it. It won't be too much longer and the baby will nap at the same time as the older one. Don't stress about it and don't worry if you are being productive because you are! I'm a stay at home mom and I've been in your shoes except I had my kids closer together. My rule is, one load of laundry washed AND put up everyday, and make sure the living areas and kitchen are somewhat clean...at least where I'm not embarrassed if someone stops by. The rest? Close the doors and get to it when dad's home to watch the kids or do it himself (that never happens with me, but I've heard tales that some women have a husband that does this).

My son is almost 8 so those specific days are behind me :) BUT I remember them well.
The secret for me was go get up & ready (dressed to shoes) BEFORE he woke up.
Have you ever looked at www.flylady.net?
Great ideas for on-going flow in the house....like:
•Run diswasher at night, empty every morning.
•One load of laundry every day so it never piles up
•Swish and swipe the toilet, bathroom counter & mirror every morning after your shower
It really helps you stay on track. Good luck!
O. room of focus per day for cleaning.

I have a 3.5 and 2.5 year old and I finally just decided I have to wake up before them and while my husband is still home (in case they wake up) and get my shower out of the way. Sometimes I still crawl back in bed, but at least the shower is checked off. It is easier to get dressed and do hair/make up in little bits if I have to than try to get a shower once the girls are awake!

Oh my yes! Life with little ones is so hard! Mine are now 3 1/2 and 20 months and its just now starting to get easy, easy in the sense that I can actually take a shower at home, during the day, and no one cries or gets hurt...etc. The first year with 2 little ones is hard. I have found so much more peace in my life when I gave up on having a clean house. I HAVE LITTLE KIDS! I have a get free pass for not having a clean house. As long as the kitchen gets cleaned once a week, I am happy.

I second joining a playgroup. Look online for momsclubs, or if you are nursing try to find a la leche league. Ours does social days too so we meet more than once a month. I met some great moms there. You are not alone. Having young babies is hard!

I look forward to reading your responses!!! I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old, and I could have written your post myself! You're not alone :)

I've often said I'm living Groundhog Day!! I had a 3 month old and a 21 month old, and I felt like I would just go from one kid to the other most of the day. I did make it a goal to have all 3 of us dressed, dishes done, and beds made by 10 (the dishwasher had to be ready to fill for this to happen).

Having a goal in mind helped keep me focused some. Also, try/make the older one play by himself. It's good for him to entertain himself and good for your sanity. You could also try to have the older one's breakfast ready for him before he comes down to give yourself an extra few minutes. I've read that some mothers get up before the kids to have a few minutes to themselves, but I hate waking up to an alarm and it wasn't worth it for me.

Now my kids are 5,4, 21 months, and 4 weeks. The older 2 play by themselves AND the 21 month old is entertained by them too. It gets much easier. I think the hardest part is having a toddler with no one to play with. When the second is that age, it won't be nearly as trying since the two will have each other.

Oh, and I shower at night because I can't seem to fit it in during the morning. Then all I have to do is a quick throw on of clothes and fix the hair. Makes things a lot easier -- especially if my clothes are laid out the night before. I've used FlyLady on and off the last couple years like someone else said; I don't do it all, but just take what works for me. For instance, I can't have a full dishwasher to empty in the morning b/c then I keep putting off doing the breakfast dishes (then lunch dishes) b/c I don't want to take the time to empty it. I try to time it so I run it after breakfast so I can empty at nap time. Silly, I know, but that one thing helped a lot - just having the dishwasher ready to throw dirty ones in. You'll get into your groove, I promise.

Hi. I only have one child, so I can only humbly add one thought. It sounds like you enjoy getting out of the house. I know it is cold. But, if getting out energizes you, can you do it more often. Even to go to the mall or a restaurant for a small snack with the kids. you can sit and be served a cup of coffee, and the toddler can eat a fruit salad or cheese cake and color the placemat.
Anyways, I enjoyed reading your post in case we are able to have a second child.
GL. Jilly

my kids are `18 months apart.. and that first year when I had a newborn and a toddler was crazy.. just crazy..

1. I always got up first and took a shower.. they were safe in their cribs... My day went much better if I got up and dressed before they did.. set an alarm and get up so you have a few minutes for yourself.

2. I joined playgrups.. I have to get out of the house.. so we joined things.. Every Tues and Thrus we went to playgroup.. and it was hard to get us up and out the door by 9am but we made it... it made the day so much better for everyone.. this si so improtant in the winter..

3.. I gave up on housework except. dishes laundry vacuum (we had a dog) othe than that it didnt get done too much..

4. hire help.. have someone come over once a week so you can do errands .. I never took 2 babies on errands.. to hard and too frustrating..

5 IT GETS BETTER FAST... once the baby can play on the floor and be entertained for a minute.. that is better.. the toddler gets potty trained.. then the kids will be eating the same foood..