Sassy 16 Month Old at the Dinner Table

Updated on July 02, 2008
C.H. asks from Norway, MI
9 answers

My son is 16months old and has turned into a sass pot at the dinner table. If there is food that he doesn't want he chucks it on the floor. He also throws his cup on the floor after most drinks. It is really getting irritating. He is a little picky about what he eats, some days he'll eat something and other days he won't eat it. I am a little annoyed with all of this. Any Suggestions?

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

This is pretty normal. That is why kids don't get glass plates. Be firm and tell him "no" when he throws the food or the cup. When he throws the cup, tell him it is dirty and sit it by the sink. If he throws food again, say "you must be done" and take the plate away. He will learn that he can't throw food and have it. If he is still hungry then you can feed him, it will make him mad but he is smart and he will know that if he wants to feed himself, he should use manners at the table. It will take a while but don't give up. My granddaughter does the same thing, only we have the added problem of having a dog who sits by her high chair and she thinks it is fun to throw food down to the dog. It is back firing on her because now if she has a cookie or something and holds it around the dog, the dog sees she gets her fair share, making my granddaughter really mad and she says in a stern voice "NO aira" Dog's name is Tara.

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K.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

Make sure your son is not eating too many snacks and filling up on liquids before or in between meal times. If he is hungry, he will be more likely to sit down and eat calmly instead of acting out. Discipline is so hard, but be firm with him and continue to tell him the rules, don't give up. They say you have to put a new food in front of a child 8 times or so before they will eat it or try it. Always put something on his plate that you know he will eat. I learned (after my first 2) to have scheduled meals and snack times other wise, the kids just eat or drink all day long. We now have scheduled meals and scheduled snack times. Even if they are not asking for food, sit them down and give them meals and snacks at certain times (like they do in day care) and it can then be better regulated. My first son did not have a schedule and he would drink milk all day and never eat well (like what you are describing) Good luck it's so frustrating I know!

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D.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

While a child this age is fully capable of copping an attitude, this is not likely what is happening. The brain of a 16 month old is just figuring out the idea of object permanence. The idea is "out of sight, out of mind." He doesn't understand that you don't want food on the floor, he just knows that if it isn't on his tray it no longer exists and thats what he is after. He is telling you that he is done.

The best thing to do is agree with him. Try to be there when he is "all done" and get him to hand the cup to you. Then wash him up and get him down. I didn't understand this with my first and second child and I made the very big mistake of thinking of it as a discipline issue. I regret that so much now.

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

When he throws his food and cup it means he's not interested in eating and wants to play. When he throws food "tell him we don't throw food" or "food is not for throwing" and then take his plate a way and say "All done". He will learn that he needs to eat at meals and that meals are not playtime. Try not to get to frazeled because he will pick-up on this and think it's a game and attention getter.

There is a great book by Ellyn Satter called "How to get your child to eat but not too much."

Basicly, have meals and snacks on a schedule (about every 2-3 hours) and do not let him have food other times. Have him sit at the table with you and offer the same foods as you. Don't force him to eat certain types or amounts of food. Also limit beverages to milk with meals and juice with 1 snack and water if he is thirsty other times.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yep...once they start throwing food they are no longer interested in eating. Take out of high chair and get him interested in another toy, maybe right by the foot of the table. Try again later. You cannot expect a baby to sit through a dinner peacefully until they are older and have more self control. He is also at a stage where he does not need as much food so dont be surprised when he eats very little....they will not starve themselves and will eat when hungry.

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D.R.

answers from Sheboygan on

This behavior is expected at your son's age. He is not being a "sass pot." It's just the stage of development he is in right now. When he throws his food calmly remove him from the table and tell him he is done eating. Be sure to stay calm! When he realizes he won't get a reaction (payoff) from this behavior he will stop. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

At the beginning of the meal, inform him that there will be no more bad behavior at the table (he'll understand more that you might think). Then, the first time he throws something, pick him up, swat him twice firmly on the bottom accompanied by a firm "no" and set him in a chair away from the table. Let him sit there (maybe 30 secs.) to cry and process what has just happened. Then invite him back to the table with a stern warning that no throwing food will be allowed - period. Then, when he tests you (and he will!) repeat the above. Continue this cycle until you have broken your son's rebellious spirit on this issue. I guarantee it will work if you do not back down.

SAHM of seven

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is normal C. ~ the trick is to try to have fun with it. Now that your son has his own WILL and personality showing, you can remind yourself through every minute of it why you had him in the first place: kids are fun!

Throwing food off the tray is just one of the many fun stages he will go through between now and when you are gushing tears as he walks up the aisle to receive his diploma. At that time you will long to have these adorable days back that help you to remember who he is as a whole person.

Don't miss this stage or the next one C.. Have fun being a mom. It's the only thing about parenting that really makes it easy.

By the way - I don't know what a "sass pot" is - but I do know that calling your toddler names will only make their behaviors bigger. They LOVE being called names - and will work hard to do whatever it takes to get you to say it again.

If it isn't a loving name - don't use it. Once they start understanding that calling names is OK, they will call other children names and lose friends. Teaching good values means that YOU demonstrate the ability to accept the behavior of others without labeling or name-calling.

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am SO there with you!! We have been going through the same thing since our daughter was about that age, everyone said it was a stage and it will stop. Sorry to say, we are STILL trying to get her to quit throwing her food and sippy (she is now 21 months). The only option I see is to immediately take her out of the chair and end mealtime. I have a hard time doing this because I like her to eat (she had some food issues when she was young and I guess I am always worried she isn't getting enough nutrients), but it has only gotten worse, so I think this is what we will have to do every time. Good luck!

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