School & Nap Conflict

Updated on May 08, 2008
L.J. asks from Eastlake, OH
22 answers

My daughter is 3.5 and attends a special needs intergrated preschool four days a week from 9-11.30, she was adopted at the age of 18 months and has some sensory & fine motor issues, but besides that is a happy fun loving & very energetic child.

She only sleeps nine hours at night and rises the same time every morning no matter how late she falls sleep. I have not slept past 6.30 am in two years, I was really hoping that she would out grow this stage, but she seems to have an internal alarm clock. So because she is up so early, we always have her down by 8.30 pm and she falls sleep anywhere from 9-9.30 pm.

So she still naps everyday and is exhausted when she comes home from school because she is up so early in the morning. She usually naps from 12.15-1.30- somedays longer but always at least an hour. She still needs those naps- any recent attempts to forgo her nap have not worked out well behavior wise.

Her teacher wants her to start attending the pm class in Sept- basically the bus would pick her up ar 12.45 and drop her back home at 3.30- she will miss her nap and I am really concerned about a) her behavior at school, b) her falling apart at the seams at home c) wanting to nap at 4 pm.

I mentioned my concerns to the teacher and called the school district and they said if come August my daughter was still napping that they could move her to the am class. Her teacher said she thinks my daughter would do better in the pm class and would be with older children.

What age did your child stop napping? I remember still napping in kindergarten.
I had intended on continuing naps as long as she seemed to need them and as of today, her eyes shut the moment her head hits the pillow.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Update 8/15/08

She is still napping and I called the school and had her moved to the am classes, so as not to disrupt her current schedule. Going with my gut here, thanks for your advice

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from Columbus on

As a teacher of special needs preschool, I say, " do not mess with the nap schedule." ;) I have young ones in my class who definitely still need that afternoon nap and aren't getting much out of being there b/c they are so tired. I've even had kids who sleep through the majority of the time, which is not beneficial to anyone. So, my opinion is to let her continue napping as long as she needs it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Lafayette on

could you gradually over the summer move her nap time up to say 11? Then you can be able to judge if that will work with the pm classes. Since not all children are the same (each of my 3 did naps differently) and she seems to need it, I wouldn't try to make her stop taking it. Or maybe phase it into 2 smaller ones since there will be a greater time between the earlier nap and bedtime?. (the 2nd one being after school if needed)

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Is there any possible way to put her down for a nap before she would go to school in the PM? It sounds like she still needs her nap, so I wouldn't forego those till she shows that she doesn't need them. With summer coming, perhaps you could rearrange her nap schedule now so that it'll be on track for the school year? BTW...I'm 29 and I still like my nap ;)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Dayton on

My second son was still napping at 6 years old. And he needed it, too. If he didn't get that nap at noon, then by seven it was all over but the cryin'. I would suggest keeping up with the naps if she still needs them. It seems unfair to set her up for misery and I know that's not what you want to do.

BTW, what is the difference between am and pm classes besides the age of the kids?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.O.

answers from Indianapolis on

my son took naps until he was 4 and the last year of that was a complete struggle. Could you try moving her nap forward a little so that she can get her nap in before school? I was not ready for naps to end but my son was ready way before. If her she is falling asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow you may not have that much trouble moving her naps up. I would do it gradually like starting now try 15 minutes earlier for a little while and so on.
Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My children all stopped napping by three years old. They also go to bed at about 7pm which takes the sting out of the early mornings. Perhaps you could stop the naps and put her to bed much earlier. This would give you more time to yourself and your daughter would be less tired during the day.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

L.,

Every child is different. My daughter napped when she was in Kindergarten and now at age nine, she will still take an occasional nap on the weekends. My son who just turned five stopped napping consistently at 3 and takes naps very rarely (although I still instigate rest time in his room). It sounds like your daughter is more like my daughter and needs her naps. You know her better than anyone, and if you really feel that naptime is important...and believe me, I know how important it can be for some kids to make it through the rest of the day without a meltdown, don't let the school try to talk you into afternoon classes. You are right to say that her behavior at school will be affected which means she won't be as attentive. Being with older kids is a wonderful idea, but not if she is so exhausted that she doesn't get anything out of it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Dayton on

I have 2 children ages 10 and 14. My youngest is always up early no matter how late he goes to sleep, so I can relate to your problem. We did and do have an early bedtime. We have always, put the kids to bed around 7:30 when they were younger. Both the kids always had naps in the afternoon. We still do on Sundays and if they have had an especially hard week on Sat. too. He still needs to be in bed by 8:30 and my 14 year-old by 9:00.

All that said, I feel 3 1/2 is still so young for school. They have many years to be in school and so little time to be home with Mom. My advise would be to keep him in the morning class. My daughter did not go to pre-school, because I had a home daycare and kindergarten was only half a day. My son went to pre-school, because he had been home with me all his life and kindergarten was all day everyday and he needed that transistion year.

Bottom line is you know what is right for you child and you should not let others let you think other wise!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Dayton on

Most kids stop napping around the age of four. We stopped my son napping when he was barely three because he was not going to sleep until VERY late at night because he just wasn't tired. At first he was horrible around 6PM or so, but once he got his second wind he was fine. He also goes to a special needs integrated pre-K class, in the afternoons. He sleeps until 8 or 9, and goes to bed around 9:30, like clockwork. I am only worried about when he starts first grade and has to start going to school in teh mornings.

Maybe instead of sleeping you could have a "rest time" where she lays on her bed reading books or plays quietly with her bed toys but isn't forced to sleep. Sometimes kids do just fine with a short period of rest. In my experience, though, the behavior problems will stop once not napping or resting is part of her routine.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi, my son attended a similar preschool program as a peer model and my daughter and niece will also be doing this in the fall. I know a lot of the kids in the AM class that did not go on to preschool were switched to the PM class - I think to accommodate the younger ones coming in that may still nap.

My daughter and niece are almost 3 1/2 and are pretty much done with naps. Some days they still need them, but usually when they do they are up too late (like 10:30) that night so we are trying to tough it out and let them get a good night's sleep - my daughter also wakes up like clockwork no matter how late she falls asleep. I say as long as they are willing to switch her back to the AM if she needs to, give it a try. You may have a cranky week, but you may be surprised how well she does without a nap. My son would probably still take a nap if her weren't in PM Kindergarten, but sometimes keeping them busy during that afternoon lull can help them overcome that sleepiness and get through the night a little easier. I know I'm the same way - If I sit down after lunch I have a hard time getting busy again, but if we head outside or to the park or even the grocery store we all do better. I would practice a little over the summer, maybe move her bedtime up as much as an hour and see how it effects her the following day.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.E.

answers from Indianapolis on

Your daughter is showing you what she needs....don't let anyone mess that up. All children are different and have different needs. I also remember napping in kindergarten :-) at age 5-6. YOU know better than a teacher what is best for your child. You can either tell them to put her in the a.m. class now or just take it one day at a time and make that decision when the time is here and now. It doesn't sound like her waking schedule will change any time soon. If she is more alert in the morning then that would be the best time for her to be learning. Just my opinion....mother of 4 ages 15,10,3.5,&2

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I would not force her not to nap if she needs it, but I agree that maybe try having her nap from 11-12 and then even a little when she gets home. You never know what August may bring!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I vote for keeping up naps until she is in all day school.
I have always believed that children do better in the morning.
I sent all my children (6) to am KG and I taught KG too.
My children took pm naps until all day school.
I did not sleep past 6:30 or 7:00 for probably close to 20 years...just goes with the job.
I always recommend am Kg to anyone who asks.
Your instincts are right.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from Columbus on

Hello. My oldest daughter just turned 4 in March and she hasn't napped for more than a year ... much to my dismay! She does, however, get between 11 and 12 hours of sleep each night. Wish I could shed some better light on this for you.....

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

My daughter attends the same program and has attended both sessions, while my daughter is not a napper (never has been) she is an eater. We have issues with the class being in the middle of the day when she would be eating lunch. WHile they do snack at school, it is certainly not a full meal. We have been able to overcome this with help from teachers and a change in schedule. It took several months to get her out of her established routine and into the expected routine. My daughter has similar issues but is also non verbal. It is important to establish that the world does not always operate on the schedule that is preferable per individual. When we got our daughter to switch routines, it made other changes in life easier for all of us. It is not easy to change an established routine but I have found that with a special needs child, change is even more difficult, and more rewarding.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.N.

answers from Indianapolis on

Okay...(as a previous teacher and huge advocate for naps) I highly recommend that you go against the teacher's recommendation this time. There has been a huge amount of research done on the development of the brain and a child's behavior when naps are removed at a time when they are needed. My son is also 3.5, and takes 3-4 hour naps in the afternoon because he still rises around 6:30/7:00! Remind yourself what is more important here. Give your child the nap that you know she needs, and she will also be a better student. I feel personally that this is just one of the gifts I can give my child since I stay at home with them both. Go with your mommy gut here....I think that you will be comforted by it and realize that you are doing what is best for her.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I think the solution is to start putting her to bed MUCH earlier. She may be overtired by the time she goes to bed at 8:30pm and that's why it takes a while to fall asleep. My approach would be to cut out the nap and put her to bed no later than 7pm. She could then get almost 12 hours sleep. My 4 1/2 year old is on about exactly that schedule and doesn't need a nap. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Lima on

I have babysat kids who rode the bus to special schools. When they are on the bus in the afternoon & are sleepy, they sleep. These buses are different than school buses because they're all strapped in & there's an adult helper & they're smaller so it's quieter to allow them to sleep. I'd give it a try. If it doesn't work switch her back to mornings.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.I.

answers from South Bend on

I stopped giving my kids naps before they were 3 yrs. old. You may have to forego the naps and let her be cranky for a while. It will take time for her to adjust to it but she will and the behavior issues should ease up over time. It wont hurt to try the p.m. class in school. You can start by waking her from naps early and letting her stay up or just cut out the naps all together and ride the storm out until she is adjusted to not having a nap anymore.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Toledo on

I am a preschool teacher and have many different kids who nap and others who don't. It depends on the kid. Most kids nap until around 5 in my experience. However some even nap after school once in school full time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

I remember napping after school while in kindergarten, too, but my kids gave up naps much earlier. All kids are different. My oldest stopped needing a nap when he was 3, my middle child just recently stopped at age 2.5. Notice I said 'stopped', not 'no longer needed'. :-) She still needs a nap but we've given up and gone to 'quiet time' because she won't fall asleep. I can make her stay in her bed for an hour but I can't force her to fall asleep. The baby, of course, is still napping like a champ (9 months). :-)

As for your situation. I was in a similiar situation. At this time of year, when my son was 3, I was apprehensive because he was supposed to start at the special needs preschool in the fall (he turned 4 in the summer) and he would be in the afternoon class. (12-2;30pm) During the summer, though, he outgrew his need for the nap and he was fine for school. There were still days when he'd come home and crash for 30-45 minutes but I always woke him up before an hour. If he slept more than an hour it threw off bedtime. During this time, we moved his bedtime to 7pm so he was usually sleeping by 7:30. That seemed to help the most. He was very consistent at waking at 7:30am no matter what time he went to bed -- and 2 years later he still does. He just needs at least 11 hours of sleep each day and since he doens't nap, he needs to get it all at night - 8pm-7am (can't sleep later because the school bus comes at 7:30).

Have you tried putting her to bed earlier to get her to sleep later? It seems very counterintuitative, but it does work with most kids. When my son was very little, we had him asleep by 8:30 or 9pm and he >never< slept past 6:30. As soon as we moved his bedtime to 8pm he always slept until 7:30am. You can also make sure the room is dark in the morning by buying room darkening shades - they work much better than room darkening shades, IMO.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.W.

answers from Cleveland on

My oldest child stopped napping at age 2. He occassionally falls asleep during long car rides in the car, but that is about it. His bed-time is 9-9:30pm and he usually wakes up anywhere between 8-9:30am. Kindergarten for him will be totally different from what I remember being in kindergarten. They have academic standards that they have to squeeze into 2 1/2 hours a day, so no naps anymore in school.

My youngest is 2 and still takes naps. There are days he goes without a nap, but more often than not, he takes a short nap in the afternoon. His bedtime is the same as his brother's, but he usually wakes up anywhere between 7-8am, so he needs a nap. I never force him to take one if he doesn't want to. He will sometimes fall asleep while watching cartoons in the afternoon.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches