Seeking Advice for 11 Yr Old Boy Haveing Problems at School

I would do an ALCAT test to see what foods he may be allergic to. Allergies can cause behavioral problems.
I do not understand why everyone's first approach is to drug children?
You may also want to look into transcendental meditation as the yhave some studies to show the benefits for people with add

Wow... this is hard.
1) perhaps a re-evaluation of his med's would be a good idea. It sometimes takes several attempts to find the one that most suits a child.
2) perhaps, feed him foods which will not adversely affect his ADD condition.. there are many resources online for that.
3) If this Counselor is not making strides with him, find another one.
4) He probably does not care, if he gets kicked out of school, due to his violence... BUT, most kids do this because they are lacking something... whether it be a good "male" role model, or a real comforting Parent at home, or they are being lost in the shuffle and given no REAL attention or consistency.
5) Sometimes, kids like this act this way, because they have given up on others being there for them... or just given up on anything and they feel "alone" and that no one cares. And it is what they are used to...
6) Does he have a MALE role-model, or Parent figure? Perhaps, getting a "big brother" for him would be good. The organization "Big Brothers/Big Sisters" is really great. My friend, a single Parent, utilized them for her son, who is also ADHD, and it made a HUGE difference. Here is the link for it:
http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.1539751/k.BDB6/H...

7)behavior like this is multi-pronged. It is a CONJUNCTION of things that creates a child like this. So... it takes a variety of things to help them, in conjunction.

But, the emotional issues/problems of a child, gets manifested in BEHAVIORAL problems, such as this. So, to me, the emotional issues HAS TO be tackled, primarily, and it is the "root" of a tree. NOT just his treating his "ADD" label- the "leaves." To create a solid sturdy reliable tree... you can't just treat the "leaves" you gotta care for the roots, the soil, the trunk etc. Giving it whatever it needs to thrive and grow and not whither away...and not just taking care of it if it is sunny.

His whole life seems to be in CONSTANT upheaval, no child would have an easy time with that. A special needs child NEEDS someone they can count on... consistently. This makes or breaks a child. Or anyone for that matter.

I know its a real tangled web... but, it will take a village to help him... and consistency, and he has to "learn" that people do care for him, do want to help him, that he does not have to "test" everyone for their loyalty or just to get attention, and that he has unconditional love.
It's gonna take time... gaining his "understanding" has to be earned and proven... to a child like this. Many times, they don't "trust."

I would find him another counselor as well... and perhaps a support group. He seems to also NEED to just have FUN.... he does not seem to know or understand that a child can just have fun and enjoy life. BUT he does display lots of "anger" and "frustration" in his life.... THIS is his acting-out.

To me, he basically sounds like a "lonely", angry, alienated child, who has lots of frustrations and lack of consistency and who has not had someone who really believes in him, TRULY. Also, "tough" kids often act like this because they are actually "insecure" or sensitive... or very "feeling." Probably, he is tender-hearted inside... and no one has reached him yet, in this manner. Maybe.

*adding this: it seems he also needs to learn "coping" skills... which he lacks. ALL children has "stress" too, like adults, and they can't cope. They are not mature enough or may not have the skills or ability. COPING "skills" needs to be taught as well... and this may teach him to "vent" in more positive and "acceptable" ways. If he is creative...perhaps art or the performing arts might be a good OUTLET for him? Or something else... does he have any interests? "Nurture" it... help him have a "voice" and a "safe" way to express himself. Art can OFTEN times be very therapeutic... for any "problem."

Mind you, not all ADD kids, are the same. My friend's son (ADHD), is not like this... but, it took work, and he has a strong family unit and support at home.

All the best,
Susan

I don't know what kind of docs you have already been to but it has been my experience that finding the right kind of doc is very important. You are on the right track with a counselor but I would encourage you to explore a licensed psychologist. They don't just talk to your family but they sort of decode the behavior. Counselors tend to just listen and get kids to talk about what is going on with them. Plus they have a much more exstensive education. As far as meds go I have mixed feelings. My 4 stepkids have all been on something or another since early elementry school. Parents have to realize that these meds are not like many other medications. You can't stop taking them because you're not at school anymore. If he really is a good candidate for meds you have to realize that he will probably need to use medication as an adult to manage his mental health. Instilling in him at this age that there is nothing negative about caring for your heart and mind just like your body is a wonderful gift. Good luck to you and follow your instincts. It's usually right!

Hi D.,

I worked for a school district several years ago and one of our counselors found a doctor in the San Diego area who specialized in working with kids diagnosed with ADD and ADHD.

He did very detailed, thorough testing to make sure the child was medicated correctly because very often kids are misdiagnosed and lumped into the ADD and ADHD categories when there is another chemical imbalance going on.

His name is Dr. Lynch...I wish I knew more but I think he may have been located specifically in LaJolla and I believe he was a Neurologist.

Anyway, i wish you luck and blessings.
R.

ADD/ADHD kids can have a lot of trouble with transitions. Not just changing schools, but making the change from home to school in the morning, etc. Unfortunately some of these kids can be oppositional like your grandson. Know that all of this is harder on him than on any of the people around him. Make sure he is seeing a psychiarist who is expert in ADD management, so his meds are optimized. And make sure he sees not just any counselor, but one who specializes in working with kids like your grandson. It is very common for ADD kids to have more than one problem. Depression is very common, and can express itself in different ways. It is also very common for ADD kids to have other learning disabilities that make the diagnosis difficult. Finally, make sure he is getting the care he deserves at school. If he has an ADD diagnosis, he should qualify for school accommodations under either IDEA (which would give him an Individualized Education Plan, or IEP) or accommodations under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. These accommodations can make school easier and much less stressful. Ask your school in writing for a full assessment for an IEP. This puts legal wheels in motion for him to receive an extensive assessment at school expense. Any accommodations at school are then mandated by law. There is always the possibility that your grandson has been misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed. If you disagree with the findings of the school psychiatrist, you have the legal right to have him retested by a private specialist at school district expense. For information about your grandson's legal rights, contact or take workshops at http://www.taskca.org/

It took two doctors and a couple of medication changes to get my daughter on a good regimen, but we finally found a plan that worked very well for her. We also tried the natural supplements route. I have heard that it works for others, but all it ever did for our daughter was upset her stomach.

I did a lot of reading of books about ADD. That gave me a lot of knowlege and helped me manage her better. It actually made a huge difference and put me in control.

Read online about kids on sites like Addvance.com http://www.addvance.com/help/teens/high_school.html is a good article. CHADD.com is also a useful resource. Look at http://www.adhdnews.com/

My ADHD daughter is different from your grandson, but she has required a lot of extra time and effort over the years. It has been so worth it. She has gone from being a lonely girl with few friends who acted "strange" in class to becoming a successful young woman with lots of friends and a bright future.

You have my prayers and any possible help that I might offer. Please contact me if there is anyhing at all I can do to help.

Personally I would wonder if he's been correctly diagnosed with ADD. My older son has an IEP and he shows attention issues, but it's not ADD. We are on the path of assessment, so haven't pinpointed the cause, but I recently went to a seminar where they talked about several other disorders that look like ADD. Such as Auditory Processing Disorder or Sensory Integration Disorder. A big clue that it might not be ADD is if his medication is not helping him.

I would have the parents talk to the school psychologist and if he/she isn't helpful, move to a private psychologist. There is very likely a reason for his behavior. If it's not physiological, it might be psychological, so the sooner the better to get him treatment. I would make certain the diagnosis is accurate or they haven't missed something else.

Hi:

You might want to research the affect of NAET on ADD/ADHD. I go to an NAET certified doctor in Fullerton named Dr. DAvid Karaba. You might want to consult with him to see if this is an avenue you want to pursue.

Best regards,

M.

D., I was wondering have you ever thought about researching homeopathic and natural remedies for your grandson instead of medicating him? Sugar, dyes, different food combinations and even toxins (in the environment and home) can truly make a difference in a child's behavior. But, please also remember that kids are ALIVE and have feelings and spirit and do not deserve to be labeled or medicated. I definitely know from personal experience psych medications do more harm than good and that, in fact, there are many natural solutions that can actually help with what your grandson is going through.

Please call the CITIZENS COMMISSION ON HUMAN RIGHTS (CCHR). Their # is: (323) 467~4242. And, here's their website: http://www.cchr.org/. They can definitely help you!

I also highly recommend contacting Dr. Anita Pepi who is truly an amazing Chiropractor and Nutritionist and would definitely be able to help your grandson naturally.

Here's her data:

2950 Los Feliz Blvd. Suite 101
Los Angeles, CA 90039
(323) 666~1088
http://www.drpepi.com

If she is too far for you, please let me know as I may know of an incredible nutritionist that is closer to you.

In addition, I suggest taking your grandson to H.E.L.P. (The Hollywood Education and Literacy Project) located here in Hollywood. It is a free program, and what is amazing is that I've seen kids come into this program who have been labeled ADD/ ADHD and by learning the study technology they offer and getting their diet in order, magically their ADD/ ADHD symptoms disappear. REALLY! You can definitely call H.E.L.P. for a free tour.

Here's their data:

Hollywood Education Literacy Project International
6336 Hollywood Boulevard
Hollywood CA 90028
###-###-####
http://www.helplearn.org/index-flash.html

Ask for Amanda or Ann. They definitely will be able to help you and your grandson!

I'd also recommend checking out 5 organizations validating why going the natural route is best for you and your grandson:
http://ablechild.org/
http://www.cchr.org/
http://www.fightforkids.org/
http://www.psychsearch.net/teenscreen.html
http://www.labelmesane.com/

You'll also find some amazing data regarding alternatives at: http://www.cchr.org/solutions_and_alternatives/

And, D., please watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xjx0gdL83I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRJN_NfyiH4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgMovNmtRF0&feature=user
http://www.psychconflicts.org/
http://www.cchr.org/#/videos

AND

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73SRn1gdAdM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcvCtxaiOGg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58UZqr3fiZ

Please free to contact me at: (323) 906~2784 or via e~mail me at ____@____.com.

I'd love to help you and your grandson however I can.

With love,
L. (MAMA to 14 month old Dylan Orion.......29 September 2007) : )))

HI D. :)

Why don't you try changing his diet. It seems quite simple, but it works wonders!! My daughter was a changed girl after 2 days. I felt like I knew her again. I did this with her when she was five and it has made a HUGE difference in her life and her emotions for the positive. I realized that she was sensitive to the foods she was eating. She wasn't violent, but she was very impatient and angry and could be quite mean. It was all around just ugly and I wondered what was going on because we live in an extraordinarily happy home and she was behaving NOTHING like her normal self.

I learned through a friend of m ine, who OVERCAME an experience of her own with MS which almost took her life (she had a near death experience), as well as some channeled information, that it was indeed the food. I took out many items from my daughter's diet that included such ingredients with yeast (everything I gave her from that point was rice based), no wheat, no refined sugars or white flour, nothing with dye in it (like red dye #5 or yellow #7... those types of dyes), no soy, no wheat, and I went organic. She had water or drinks that were 100% fruit juice. I gave her raw veggies and other things... she LOVED the diet and she said she felt so much better and happier. It was obvious. Slowly, I introduced other foods back in, but I know now what to look out for in her when she starts to change. I am very careful with her intake of certain things. Her attention span also improved drastically and she became more peaceful again!

Please understand, too, that an overabundance of yeast can literally drive a person crazy, put them in depression, and cause severe illness like M.S. It would be beneficial for his parents, or you, to take your grandson to see a type of doctor called a Naturopath; and do what you can through that type of doctor to get him off those ADD meds. You must know that there are other ways, and I strongly think that if his diet was adjusted properly, you would see a new and peaceful spirit reveal himself from your Grandson :). I can give you the name of my friend who had M.S. She has since become a doctor, has written books and was even on the Montell Williams show regarding our diets as well as M.S. and other diseases too much yeast can cause. In her book, she gives detailed recipes and other information that will help you better understand and heal your Grandson in a most positive light.

Also, I am not sure where you live, but there is a place called The Parent Resource Center in Mission Viejo, CA that I heard about through a friend who was interested in going there. They offer classes to parents, as well as children, for anger management and those types of things. That would be beneficial for him to learn better, more peaceful ways of deling with his emotions. He is also coming into puberty and if something isn't done no to correct his reactions and his feelings overall so he understands himself now, then he may continue to get himself into more and more trouble and continue to grow feeling more confused about himself and what is right and wrong. I hope this is not the case. Nurture his spirit and surround him with love and patience. Try to develop a close communication style with him where he knows he is safe and not feelings judged. Many of the ways our children act are learned. So everyone close to your grandson needs to take a good look within themselves to see how they may be contributing to his behavior. If that isn't the case, then I would seriously encourage you to change his diet. Even if it's just for a month. You will see positive results!

In the meantime, keep him surrounded in a healing color of glowing pink. See that around him as you are aware of Love absorbing throughout all he is. See it opening his consciousness to accept more healing, love, and an understanding of peaceful ways. It can be done and he will feel it! I know as I have done this with many in my own mind, body, spirit healings for people. Do not doubt the power of our thoughts. They are the most powerful things we have! Your grandson is just a bit off track. In love, guide him gently and hug him like there's no tomorrow!!!! He needs to feel and see these displays of tender emotion so he, too, starts to emulate this. Keep it alive and let him see the results of joy in such a way that he knows it's better than hurting other people. Teach him ways to perpetuate that Light and get him involved in ways he can feel good about himself by helping other people feel happiness. Love ALWAYS comes through!

In Light,
J.

Hi, D.,

You sound like a good grandma! Special Education consultant Dianne Craft at www.diannecraft.org has excellent information and she has helped lots of children with behavior problems with some simple changes; check out her info on the biology of behavior. In a nutshell, this looks at how a yeast overload in a child's stomach can cause lots of problems. Does your grandson crave sugar and carbs? The site lists several symptoms that can occur with this imbalance (look under her "speaking handouts"). Her business is Child Diagnostics. I just went to a workshop with her and she is great! You could also check out the website: www.gapsdiet.com. or the book: Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride. This book details research about the new connections that are being discovered between the stomach and the brain and looks at how an imbalance in the stomach can affect behavior.
Good Luck!

As a middle school public teacher, I have seen boys, now and then, exhibiting these behaviors. I remember one boy who responded very well to learning one to one with a tutor. He was like a different child and did not miss the distractions of a classroom (as if school over stimulated him). In a 'one to one' learning environment, he was finally able to buckle down and get his work done. The behavior issues melted away. If you live in North County San Diego, check out the Julian Charter School in Oceanside.

One of the things that my ADDer thrives on is routine. With the recent transitions in his life (moving, parental stress) any routine you can get his day to day life into will help. The routine needs to be fairly strict at first so that he knows that if its 4pm, he's supposed to be doing homework and that about 5:30pm he gets dinner. His whole day will need to be structured as much as possible so all he has to do is look at the time to know what to expect. This works excellent with my 7yo ADDer. And when the routine is going to get messed up, all I have to do is simply tell my child that "ABC" will happen so that he can expect that brief and temporary change.

You might also start looking at depression (espically if a parent just lost a job, or if there's seperation or possibly divorce in the works, or even if he's had to change schools) and/or anxiety.

Eventually he should start to settle back into himself once things at home smooth out again.
best of luck.
D.

First of all, don't medicate him! He has a lot going on and meds are not going to do anything but make him worse. I would suggest you get him involved in some sort of group where he can do things he likes and can help others. When you have a purpose in life, it helps you deal with the other stuff.

The first thing is to be pro-active which is what you are all doing! The behavior is attention seeking. He needs to find ways to find that attention in a positive way. He is troubled at this time and that combined with puberty has his body and mind going in different directions. I would talk to the school and ask that he have a 504 plan put in place. That would set up a plan with the school and set up a behavior plan. Usually the behavior plan will depend on parent support. You can also see if her can talk to a professional at this time. Hope the best for you and your family.