Seeking Advice from Experienced moms:Co-sleeping to Crib for Hysterical 6 Mo Old

You will do it whatever way works for you, but I followed my gut for me and ended up having two babies in the bed with me. It was not a problem. I found it too exhausting getting out of the bed at night. When we put them in their own beds they actually shared a bed at first. There was zero problem of transition. Eventually they went to bunk beds. They enjoy sharing a room and are very good brothers.

Good luck.

First of all you have more time than you think so this doesn't have to happen overnight by the time your baby is born God willing your first will be 15 months or so it's going to be a totally different world for you. Secondly do not create any new habit that you will have to again break later just to alleviate the one problem such as sleeping in the room with her on the floor. If what you want is for her to sleep in her own bed at night than that us what your going to have to cold turkey but I would never suggest you stop nursing her on top of that that would be a double wammy. She can be nursed up until a year it is still very good for her. Most babies can sleep somewhat through the night by six months my baby who I nurses for 12 months was sleeping in the bassinet next to
Me till he was six
Months and transitioned surprisingly well into a crib. You may be surprised that it's not as hard as you think. Just make sure she knows you are still there tell her your right outside go in and see if she cries the first few times but if it goes on too long leave it along some babies ch cry for an hour or so depends on how difficult it has become but at her age she is able to adjust more than a two year old would so
It is good you are doing this now cause you need a good nights sleep too! Good luck and God bless!
From H.

To start...remember that this is ONLY my opinion. You do what you need to do! You are not behind any curve. Every baby is different, every situation is different and what is working for someone now doesnt mean it will work next month. TRUST ME!

1. I think that you have 2 different issues. I had to make a similar adjustment but my 1st daughter was older. How old will your daughter be when the baby is born?
2. The first issue that you need to tackle is weaning your daughter. Is that correct? So do what you need to do. Bottle, Nuby, sippy, you need to give her something in the night/day too that wont require you but someone else if needed and or herself. So I would read up on ways to wean and remember, all kids are different. I left a Nuby and a Sippy around all day filled with water. Eventually my daughter got interested and eventually liking it. This is a normal way of doing that.
3. Co Sleeping, most cultures do co sleeping. Its more of a cultural thing and personal choice (and need for sleep not only to function but to make milk!) Im not a CIO fan. I tried with both of my girls. IT IS NOT FOR ALL CHILDREN! If you read more on Dr. Ferbers work, its not for all kids. IF you daughter is old enough in a few months, maybe a mattress on the floor (in corner with sturdy baskets on the side - thats what I did) so that you can lay with her and help her fall to sleep. Eventually you can put on fun lights or music and she will do it. Trust me. We baby proofed the room too and was ready to put up a gate at the door but didnt need to. That is just one example.

Both of our girls Co Slept and both Breast Fed. They do great on their own. Our second has some sleep issues that stem from other problems that we are working on (CIO could never worked for her nor could it) and nothing to do with co sleeping or b feeding.

Again. None of this needs to be done over night and none of it will be done over night.
Do what you need to do and reach out to those who support you and ignore the annoying ones that dont!

Hi A.,

Congratulations! I would second some of the advice here- my daughter just turned eleven months and has been sleeping well for the past three weeks. She was sleeping with us up to ten months, and eating twice (Nursing) through the night. I first transitioned her into eating less - I first cut out the 12 am feeding, by slowly giving her less until she slept through it. The difficult one was 3am. When she woke up then, I would let my husband go in with a cup/bottle of water. She didn't like this as much and within one/two days slept through the 3 am as it wasn't worth it for her!

Our main issue then was making sure that I could put her in her crib awake - rather than nursed to sleep and we used the CIO method, as described by one of the other posts - we DID NOT just let her cry uncontrollably, but would go in at first two minutes, then three minutes etc, and soothe her so she knew that we were there and had not abandoned her. I won't lie, it was difficult by within three days she was sleeping by herself! She now sleeps from 8-6:30 and its been wonderful. I am still nursing her, and I give her one night time feed at 7:45 right before bed, but I make sure she is drowsy when I put her in her crib.

Gods blessings to you as you work on getting her to sleep and anticipate the arrival of your newest bundle of joy.

when you taking away nursing so suddenly, are you saying completely or just at night? you can safely nurse your daughter thru your pregnancy. I agree the night nursing is a habit as my 1st and now my 4mos old do same but it's because of co-sleeping I am sure. My first slept in ou bed until almost 18mos then started transitioning to her own bed so I can't help you with such a young one. I do have to tell you that she might want to come back again to your bed once baby2 arrives as I am dealing with that now and eeryone gets sleep but me!

Hi,
I am in the same boat with my 5 month old boy....just not pregnant. I really dont have any advice but I am interested in knowing what others have to say. I didnt plan on having my baby sleep w/ me but its the only way I could get sleep and now he is used to it & expects it. I also do like having him sleep next to me...but I cant get anything done cause he always wakes up looking for me....day and night. And we have tried to have Dad put him to bed but he will screem for a long time so I cave in. I also am considering the CIO...but a softer version..not total ferberization (yet) And I am thinking of putting him into the co-sleeper first since he is used to my bedroom. And later transition to the crib. I am curious on how it goes and if you have any advice once you try a method. Good luck!

Hi A.,
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I would not move your daughter into the cosleeper. At 6 months, she is already close to being too big for it, and I don't feel that making two separate and totally different transitions is going to make this easier, I think it prolongs the inevitable. If you kept the crib in your room, that might be a different story, getting her used to sleeping in it.
I would not nap her in a stroller. If the crib is going to be her bed, a place for her to sleep, then start by napping her in there so she gets comfortable with it. I transferred my last baby from the bedside cosleeper to the crib at 2 1/2 months. I didn't want to do it, to get up during the night out of bed to BF on worknights but he squirmed and snorfed and snuffled so much at night that I wasn't getting much sleep. Anyhow, he slept so much better in the crib! It might go smoother than you anticipated.
Remember that when baby sleeps with you, you respond to noises, wakefulness, etc by feeding - when baby is in the other room, you may miss some of those noises. I discovered with my son that he didn't always need to eat, he might just fuss (I didn't ever do any sort of CIO, not my philosophy) for a few minutes and resettle himself. You can ease her out of the bed by starting off in your bed and putting her in the crib after her feeding - or vice versa, put her in the crib but if she wakes up crying to BF, bring her to your bed.
Since you said that family/hubby could help you with this, I'd suggest assuming that she still needs to nurse once during the night but that maybe she isn't hungry 2-3 times so if she gets up again, have someone else go in to her, and try to settle her without the nursing.
Good luck, you may try different things and figure out what works thru trial and error. While I konw you are working with time constraints, six months is a long time, you will have a one year old then, she will have lived her entire lifetime of growth and development all over again and her needs will change - a six month old sleeping with mom and nursing 2-3 times a night isn't necessarily going to be a 12 month old doing the same :)

I think 6 months is too young for CIO. IMO CIO is for toddlers that are being onery and stubborn. But her in her crib at nap time and rub her back until she falls asleep. At first she will protest, but if you hum gently or play soft music and rub softly she will fall asleep. Each nap she should fall asleep quicker so eventually a quick rub and song will put her to sleep. At the same time at night try to lengthen the times between nursing by keeping her amused for as long as possible or perhaps give her a pacifier. The times between should get longer until she sleeps the night. At that time put her to bed in her crib, which she should be used to, and rub her back . If she wakes in the night rub her and play the music or hum, but dont talk to her during any of these steps.

Congrats to you!!! First, take a deep breath and give yourself some credit for being such a good mommy who's in-tune with her baby's needs. I co-slept with my son and didn't move him until 10 months, so you can do this. It honestly wasn't that bad, surprisingly. I got the best advice from my sister, who told me just to start somewhere and try something. If it doesn't work, tweak it or change it (I felt so overwhelmed, so this advice really helped!) Here's what I did: For me, it was easier to focus on the nap first. I tried to get my son to take those 2 consistent naps in his crib each day. Usually that meant waiting until he had fallen asleep nursing, then transferring him to the crib (this is so far NOT working for my second one!) Once I felt like the naps were significantly improved (not perfect though), I focused on night time sleep. I used the book you read and just modified things. I skipped the co-sleeper, because I found that I would fall asleep intending to put him back in the co=sleeper--it's just too close to the bed, and I can't stay awake. So I moved a glider into our room, and started putting him in the crib, and just feeding him while sitting in the glider--that way, I'd stay awake and put him back in the crib. This really sucked! Then I used a modified approach to cut down the night nursing. I decided I would only nurse him every 3 hours. If it had been less than 3 hours and he cried, my husband would go to him and soothe him. At first he didn't like it, but then he got used to my husband soothing him, and we had to wean him off that. It sounds awful but it really wasn't. Only took a few nights, and we never let him cry more than 15 minutes (you have to decide this time frame for yourself). We all started sleeping better.

So just start somewhere, and modify things so that you are comfortable. We started with the crib close to our bed, then moved it across the room, then finally into his own room. That was probably more for me than for my son. Regarding the night nursing, it's up to you as to whether you'd like to cut down on that now or not. Totally a personal choice, and I think you'll know--if you find you're getting extremely tired with the pregnancy and being wakened all night, then maybe you'll want to cut back? Remember too that some women have a milk supply decrease with pregnancy. My son nursed 4 months into my pregnancy and then weaned--I don't think there was anything left at that point (but everyone's different). Good luck and congrats again!!!

We transitioned our daughter from our bed to the crib at 4 1/2 months (just a little younger than yours). what i would do is nurse her until she was totally asleep, and hold her and rock her for about 10 minutes until i knew she was totally out. then i put her down in her crib. she would usually stay asleep for a few hours and when she woke up i brought her in bed with me. after a few days of that i would nurse her and put her back in her crib after the 1st wake up and bring her in bed the 2nd wake up. we got up to 4 wake ups in the night and going back into her crib over a course of about 2 weeks. at that point, she was more used to her crib.

the next step was letting her cry it out (using the ferber method) to fall asleep on her own, but we waited a month or so to do that. and i continued to nurse her 2-3 times a night until she was about 7 months. when we first started with the crying it out, i would only go in her room if she had been sleeping for 4 hours to feed her. then i moved that back to 5 hours, 6 hours and 8 hours until she was only being fed once in the night after 8 hours of sleep. it was a lengthy process, but at 10 months she was sleeping totally through the night (12 hours) without waking up for food and she was going to sleep on her own. it worked for us. hope this helps!

edit: as a little side note, the first night we let her cry it out, we went in after 3 minutes and rubbed her belly, 5 minutes, 7 minutes and by the next 7 minutes she was already asleep. it took 3 nights until she was going to sleep without any crying and it was the best decision we ever made. she adjusted very well and now she can sleep anywhere, with anyone putting her to bed...she doesn't need mommy or daddy to rock her to sleep. i know it's hard to let your little one cry, but it was well worth it for us!

Hi A.,

In my humble opinion, going from co-sleeping to CIO is really drastic. It almost would be undoing of the nurturing that co-sleeping gives the child. I hope you don't have to go through it. I tried to transition my daughter the no-cry way. Once I got pregnant though, She wasn't having it. Perhaps knowing that a new person was coming soon. So, I ended up with a king sized bed for all of us. It's really terrific! Of course, I look forward to the day when they are on their own giggling in their room together and my husband and I can read (a grown up book) in bed, but for now, I am enjoying the time spent together that won't be forever. I wish you the best of luck.

We finally tried CIO at 10 months when we were desperate for a solid night's sleep. Long story short, our daughter screamed for hours and would inevitably vomit. After 10 nights in a row of vomiting, I couldn't take it anymore. Several months later we learned that she had undiagnosed acid reflux and several other mild medical issues as well (which her regular pediatrician never caught because they were so mild), which is why she wasn't sleeping through the night to begin with. Contrary to what lots of people will tell you, CIO does NOT work for every baby, especially if there is a reason (other than behavioral) that your baby can't soothe herself to sleep at night. If CIO isn't working for your after a few nights, you might want to re-examine why it's not working... and consider cutting your losses and finding an alternative sleeping arrangement. Good luck!

A.,

I suggest trying the methods described in The No Cry Sleep Solution. It might take a few weeks, but it worked for us. Our son is also a screamer and letting him cry it out is not only against our beliefs, but not possible since we live in a small house with a tenant upstairs.

I agree with the woman who suggested trying to cut all but one night time feeding. Sometimes babies this age do get hungry at night, and its so much easier to sleep well with a full tummy.

A one year olds sleeping habits are different from a 6 month olds, so whatever you do I'm sure things will be easier once the new baby has arrived.

Good luck and Congratulations!
R.

We were in virtually the same place with our daughter at 6 months (now 7 1/2) and this is what is working (most of the time) for us.
After her first teeth came through at 4 months she stopped sleeping through the night in her co-sleeper and started getting up to nurse several times a night and ended up in bed with us most nights. At about 6 months we decided we needed to make a change as no one was sleeping well. We moved her crib into our room and made the tough decision to let her cry it out. I won't lie. I was initially against this as a concept and the first couple of nights were hard. But after a few minutes of crying, with reassurance from us if it went any longer, she slept ten hours straight. She woke up happy and rested and things have been going great for the most part since then (aside from a current cold which has her up and comfort nursing a bit this week). After the first few nights we were quickly able to tell the difference between fussy cries to settle herself to sleep and genuine need for comfort and help. Routine and consistency have been key, but of course the flexibility to follow cues and meet needs overrides all. After she's well and back sleeping through again we plan on completing the transition by placing her crib in her own room.
I know this is a tough thing. Do what works for your family and try not to let anyone make you feel guilty for your choices whatever they are. We do that enough to ourselves as parents. Congrats and good luck with baby #2.

Congratulations on the new pregnancy and the healthy beautiful baby you already have! What an exciting time.
I really love to recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Mark Weissbluth, M.D. He is an expert in pediatric sleep and his book cleared up a lot of mysteries for us about why certain "methods" didn't work. And what did work.

We follow his advice and although our 17 month old isn't a great sleeper, it has made a lot of things better.

Wow, lots of things to think about! I would definitly make a slow transition from getting your daughter out of your bed. She is still very young. I would try laying the mattress on the floor next to your bed or in your bedroom. Nurse her to sleep on that mattress, not yours. When she is sound asleep, go to your own bed. When she wakes up, go back to her bed and repeat. I did this with my daughter, but she was a lot older. When she gets a little older (b4 baby #2 comes), move the mattress in her own room and get her excited about it. Get a very kid-themed bedding set.

Best of luck to you!

Hi! I read the No cry Sleep solution and tried it (and every other method out there) and nothing worked. Until.... I hired a NYC company called the Dream Team. www. dreamteambaby.com. They came to sleep train my little guy when he was 6mths old! He went from sleeping with me and waking to nurse constantly throughout the night to sleeping in his crib for 12 1/2 hours straight! It was the best money we EVER spent!! Good luck!!

how do you co-sleep? we use a crib, set up next to our bed, like this:
http://peacefullone.livejournal.com/tag/bed/crib+pic

and this site, will show you more of how to do it.
http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/

and if you already have a crib set up for your one daughter, maybe you could put another one on the other side of your bed?

best to you and your family and congrats on your pregnancy!

You certainly have your work cut out for you. First
get her in her crib now, not when the baby comes. Why
does she nap in her stroller. You said your husband has to
rock her. Chances are if she was in her crib, she would
fuss (he would never know) and go back to sleep.
So you will do what you have to. Unfortunately, there
is no easy way. Just do it. Hopefully in a week she
will be used to it. Good luck.

You might visit this web site. It's all about children and sleep issues. www.familysleep.com

1st... you need to feed her once before bed.. maybe even introduce rice cereal. She shouldn't be feeding during the night at all. so first work on this. second.. don't snuggle close with her.. get her used to sleeping next to you... but put a stuffed animal in between you.. let her always see the stuffed toy.. make sure it's always between you.. then slowly get her used to sleeping only with the stuffed animal.. this will help.. like maybe you can sleep on the floor for a night or two.. then slowly move her into the crib for naps with the stuffed toy.. then night time.. it should work it you take your time doing it.. like every 6 nights.. get her used to something else.. like no feeding during the night.. use a pacifier if you have to.. but no feeding.. then slowly move her away from you... then you move out of the bed.. each baby step.. good luck

I don't have any experience with CIO (yet?) but I thought I'd address one portion of your question since we have a 4 month old who was crib averse too. When our daughter was born she didn't like the co-sleeper so we kept her between my husband and I. As she grew and started to move around more and make noises in her sleep- my husband and I just weren't getting enough rest and really wanted to get her used to the co-sleeper!
Now she loves it.

My advice would be to either start her out in your bed, and after the first feed, try putting her down in the co-sleeper when she's sleepy and relaxed. If she is a wiggler (our daughter has been known to thrash herself awake on occasion) maybe swaddle her or hold her arms down until she is asleep. If she seems agreeable you can try it after the second feed as well, and hopefully for the initial night sleep eventually.

I will also say she seems to prefer the co-sleeper to the full-size crib since it's more confined and I think that's comforting to young babes- plus she knows I am still right beside her when she wakes up.

If you have a cosleeper which is near your bed, why not try that. As you said, she could get used to sleeping on her own, but if she is that upset, you'd be right there. Once she gets used to that, you can try to move her to her own room. I would work on the nursing after she is okay in her room, so it's not too much all at once. That way she could also get some comfort from you, while getting used to her own room. Good luck to you!

Hi A.,

I am a firm believer of cry it out, however I did a modified version of it. I waited until they were a year old which was dumb on my part and worse in my opinion. At one they can stand, say mamma, etc. I did it but it broke my heart. What I did is start on the weekends so my husband and I could rest during the day. The first day I started at naptime so we could be consistent with naps and bedtime. I remember my daughter cried about an hour. I went in every five minutes or so laid her back down and would just say night night. She would be furious when I left the room but I thought it was better for her to know I was not abandoning her I just wasn't going to pick her up. The second night it was half the time, the third night maybe five minutes and by night 4 no tears. But it is hard. My husband was very supportive and pretty much had to hold me down but I knew I was doing the right thing teaching her to learn to sooth herself. I remember when I went to pick her up when she woke up in the morning and she smiled at me from ear to ear. So I knew she didn't hate me!!! I did it with my son as well and I have to say it does work. I would cut out the night time feedings if she is only using you to fall asleep. The need to night feed will go away once she learns to put herself to sleep. Good luck. I am sure whatever you and your husband decide will be the right decision for your baby.

Take a deep breath, first. Second, congratulations! My son slept in his crib from day one (really rough c-section recovery) but we went through a tough period around 5 months old following a nasty cold that allowed him to snug-in with us for about two weeks.

If you can cut-out the night nursing you will both be better off. She doesn't need the nourishment during the night at this point and she is nursing to soothe herself. Just a thought- you may want to work on getting into the crib before taking away the nursing. It will be much more difficult for you both if she's screaming next to you.

We used the CIO method with our son (about three times b/c we had to start over after extended cold or flu). It is very effective, but difficult to do. My husband and I didn't sleep for 4 nights, but our little man needed to learn to soothe himself.

Put her to sleep in her crib for naps, night time, etc. She will start to associate her crib with night-night. Come up with a new routine (nursing, clean diaper, book, kiss- crib). Be strong- we really thought JD would pass-out after 15-20 minutes of screaming... two hours later... finally asleep. That was the second, and worst, night. The next night was 15 minutes and now he points to his room when he's tired.

Good luck-

In my opinion, you should try to cut back on the nursing first/move her into her room first (before crying it out). A 6 month old does not need to feed that many times per night out of hunger... it has become a habit. You may find that when she does not rely on you for nursing so much at night (comfort/habit) she will be able to fall asleep on her own easier. You could try putting her in her own crib/room and continue to nurse her for a couple of days, so she gets to the new environment with the comfort of you. The other thing to start doing, is nurse her before her bedtime routine (ie. nurse, then bath, book and bed), so she gets used to not falling asleep at the breast. Then, cut out a feeding... let her cry a few minutes, then go in to her (don't say a word or turn on the light) just pat her back etc. And remember, crying is a baby's way of communicating... yes, she might be mad/upset, but babies cry. You know she is well fed, well cared for and loved, and she will be ok!! I have let both my kids CIO at different stages for different reasons, and they are both affectionate, well ajusted, fun, loving toddler/pre-schoolers.... it will be easier to do it now than later!!! Be strong and consistant... babies are resiliant, and she will be better off being able to soothe herself in the long run. Good Luck!

Hi, one idea that worked for me (remember, every child is different) is I would dream feed my daughter. That is, I would anticipate her next feeding and while she's sleeping, pick her up, nurse her and put her back down. After a short time, she just started sleeping right through those night feedings. I discovered it by accident, but you can google dream nursing or dream feeding. That may help with that issue. The other thing is look into other forms of sleep training other than cry it out. This way you'll have a few options to choose from especially if you don't want to utilize CIO. I used what I believe is the Dr Sears approach. I had found a video where the child is put into their crib, and the parent put a strong, yet gentle hand on their tummy, and stayed there until the child was asleep. I used that at nap time first then night time. For my child it only took one day, but it may take longer for you. I would definitely research and choose what you think would work best for your child-you know your child best. I tried CIO with my daughter but for our situation which is much different than yours, it just wouldn't work-she was screaming for 4 hours straight, and would refuse to go near her crib, it just traumatized her more. The method I used was perfect for her. Good Luck
Good Luck

Do you specifically want help in getting her into a crib or would you be open to other solutions?