Seeking Educational Program to Prepare My 4Yr. Old for School

I don't really know about programs for your son, but I have some advice for preparing him at home.

I have three kids. 2 boys and 1 girl. My daughter is the youngest and she is spoiled by our families and friends. She started to think the universe revolved around her. We were supposed to be her for her every desire! Had to nip that one quick!

First, the daycare staff should know better!!!!! If they are spoiling him, you need to sit down with the director and come up with a plan for how you want your child raised. Being a single mom and working, the daycare counts as a second parent and should act as such.

Second, tell your family and friends the same thing! If they love you and your son, they will understand and give you that respect!

And last, when you are at home with him, talk with him about his boundries. He needs to know that life doesn't actually work this way. He's not always going to be the cute little boy. He will grow up and no one will spoil him then!

I was a single mom for three years, and know how hard it is to find that balance between daycare, school and home.

My daughter is 5 now and will be starting school this fall. I decided last year that she would be at "mommy school". This is when I taught her the basic tools she would need for school. Things like : schedules, eating lunch in a timely manner, abc's, writing... Mind you, I'm a stay at home mom now and have the time for that. I think it would be important for you to work with him at home with some of that (what ever you feel is the most important for him to learn), but also have the daycare work with him on those things. If your daycare does not listen to you or say they cannot preform those tasks, find a new daycare! (I know a lot in your area!) If it's a national chain, call their corporate parent!

I know your son is going to make it big in this world! It seems to me that mom's who are concerned about raising their children right, tend to have better kids who love them and are productive in the world. Keep it up. We need more parents like that! It's not a matter of being single and working or married and at home... it's a matter of attention and love. You obviously have both for your son!

Let me know if the daycare helps or if you need to find one. Good luck and God bless!

~A. J.

My experience is that preschool is there to get your child ready for regular school. I think you should see if there is a c0-op preschool in your area that you could put him in. that way you are there one day a week, but he is with other parents the rest of the time. He will get the experience of a school setting without it being so tramatic for him. He will be fine once he gets going. At 4 he's ready for preschool whether he whines or not. He will learn from the other kids how to behave in a school setting and he will probably love being around other kids his age.

This may not be exactly what you are asking for, but there is a program called Hand in Hand Parenting <http://www.handinhandparenting.org&gt; that may be very helpful to you around the emotional challenges with your son. I am training right now to be one of their instructors. They are based out of California and I am hoping to offer groups about their approach when I am finished training. We use their ideas with our almost-3 yr old son and it's GREAT. If you look at their website and find it interesting feel free to reply to me. Maybe we can meet at a park. I live in West Seattle.

Good luck!
S.

If he is four and is acting like this, you are correct in being concerned about his readiness for school next year. I taught K-1 for 13 years and I have had experience in these matters.

If he is going to just make to cut off date, don't send him. I was one of those kids, and it took me until late grade school to catch up. Also as a teacher, I taught a few of them. Boys, especially, have a hard time going to school early.

You are a single mother and this makes it hard for you. Do you have your parents in the area? I would recommend getting involved with the Highline College Preschool Co-op program. It is a program where you go some of the days and some of the days your son would go alone. They used to have a program for four year olds that were not ready for school.

I would otherwise work on not fulfilling his every wish immediately. This will develop patience, something needed in school. I also would not give him something when he is crying. I would wait until he can speak in calm sentences. This is important in school. I would verbalize to him, "Four year olds do this" "Next year in school, you will have to ...so we are practicing for it now." Always be gentle. Always be firm. And repeat if often. I would tell him frequently how you want him to behave now or when he is older.

I would ask your day care to follow through with this. If your daycare can put him in with other four year olds rather that babies it would help. Seek out well behaved four year olds and say, "see how they...", etc. If not see if there is another day care around that has day care with four year olds in it.

One of the positives of the College Co-op programs is that they also educate the parents. You will enjoy it.

C.,
Since your son is 4 now, I'm assuming that he will just make the cutoff for turning 5. My daughter (who is two right now) is in the same situation, and here's the feedback I got (from a friend and my mom, both of whom are elementary educators, kindergarten and 5th grade): they both were overwhelmingly in support of me waiting to start my daughter until she's six, even though she's very smart for her age. They gave me a bunch of information about mental vs. physical vs. emotional readiness for school, and how important it be that all 3 are in alignment. My mom (the 5th grade teacher) said that the differences are very apparent by 5th grade, and that in all her years teaching she saw lots of parents regret starting their kids early (and sometimes have to hold them back a grade), but never saw anyone who regretted waiting to start kindergarten at 6. (I'm waiting until my daughter is 6.) Hope this perspective helps you make your decision. Sincerely, A.