Seeking Feeding Advice

Updated on September 01, 2006
V. asks from North Palm Beach, FL
25 answers

I guess I am at the point I need to be asking this. My girls are 25 months. Born at 38 weeks with scheduled C section. Their weight at the time was 5 lbs 6 oz each. But they were so tiny when they were born, almost fragile-looking. I am tiny as well, i weight about 100 lbs (though during pregnancy i gained 40 lbs which I lost first 6 weeks). I am adding this extra info for possibly explaining my girls' behavior.
They are not big eaters. Have never been big eaters. Before they were born someone said to me "at least you know your girls will be short and skinny.' for whatever reason that stuck with me. Now at 25 months they're both 28 lbs nd 38 inch. their ped. says their height and weight is great and that he is 'impressed.'
But it has been such a struggle for me. when mealtime comes I have to get motrin I get so anxious thinking will they eat or maybe they won't. and then, on a week like this week, when they get sick, they do not eat anything. it's been since saturday, i believe, that they have gotten a fever and cough BUT no food except water and maybe a juice here and there. I just now managed to get one to eat 1 oatmeal cookie. And it's almost dinnertime, and that has been all they've eaten all day. I guess, I am having a hard time understanding kids in general. But is it normal for toddlers not to eat when they're sick? They're my first and last, I think.
I do everything for them. They're my world, and they're smart and beautiful, but bthey pretty much have a mind of their own, and it's usually 'we do whatever mom doesn't want us to do.'
Ok, now that my rambling is coming to an end, I ought to limit my question to sick toddlers and eating when sick. What do you moms do when your kids get sick? do you worry they're not eating? Should i get them to see their ped. tomorrow? He saw them on monday, prescribed antibiotic (though the dosage seems too small, just once a day for 5 days). he said it's a virus that has been going around.
Thanks for reading
V.

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So What Happened?

wow, reading your posts i felt i was just surrounded by MY moms. such a great feeling to know it isn't just my kids. i know i have to losen up. there are nights (yes two am brainstorming constantly) when i say to myself; ok starting from tomorrow i will not 'police' what they're eating. and i obey that promise for a couple of days, and then i find myself slowly going back to 'stressing.' but i always find excuses for myself why i am doing that. i should have pointed out i come from a society where 'skinny' girls were not considered beautiful. chubby red cheeks, some behind, were considered beautiful, so i went through elementary school and high school (except for the prom), and undergrads never wearing shorts or a skirt. to describe me is think of popey's oliva. that's my brother's nickname for me growing up. so, now, after becoming a mom, that feeling has turned into 'help my babies grow up healthy.' believe me pediasure, i'd rather knock on a poor house than not get it for my girls, they just aren't into eating. i am going to give myself a promise again tonight to not stress and maybe losen up for next couple of days. update on kids: zana is much better, she did all three meals today (didn't fight them), the other one, melina, had some food today. she's still warm, not as she was these last couple of days but her mood is much better.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. SO SO MUCH. THIS IS VERY VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
V.

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M.S.

answers from Miami on

I also have twins, although now they are 15 years old. One of them was a finicky eater. Their pediatricians always said as long as their weight is normal not to stress out too much about it. They didn't get sick too often and the one has outgrown her old eating habits. She also used to smell her food first before she ate it. If it smelled funny to her then she wouldn't even try it. She's outgrown that too on her own and now can eat me out of house and home, although she is not fat. The main concern when they are sick and don't want to eat is dehydration. Since they are drinking fluids, they should be fine.

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S.J.

answers from Tampa on

V.,
My daughter goes through stages sometimes she eats all the time and some weeks she doesnt eat what seems like anything. one thing I can tell you is that her ped said she wont starve herself, when she is hungry she will eat and dont try to make her eat cause that could lead to problems when she is older. I will tell you my daughter just got over the bug that is going around and she didnt want to eat anything and she has been going through one of her eat all the time phases..so I wouldnt worry as long as they are drinking fluids they are prob fine, but just remember as long as they arent over weight or severly under weight they are doing good!!!

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J.P.

answers from Jacksonville on

Dear V.: THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I GET TO TALK TO YOU, IT SEEMS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE A GREAT MOM, BUT YOU ARE WORRYING TOO MUCH, I UNDERSTAND YOU BECAUSE I USED TO WORRY A LOT WITH MY FIRST CHILD. YOUR GIRLS WEIGHT IS PERFECT, THERE ARE GOING TO BE DAYS WHEN THEY GET SICK, AND THEY WONT EAT. WHEN THEY GET SICK, AS LONG AS THEY DONT HAVE HIGH FEVER, THERE IS NO REASON TO GO CRAZY. ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO TAKE THEM TO THE PED, SO YOU CAN GET COLD MEDICINE, BUT USUALLY YOU CAN BUY THOSE OVER THE COUNTER, AND ITS ALWAYS BETTER TO LET THEIR BODIES FIGHT THE VIRUS. I HAVE A 28 MONTH OLD BOY WHO EATS A LOT BUT WHEN HE GETS SICK LOSSES A COUPLE OF POUNDS... I JUST TRY FOR HIM NOT TO DEHYDRATE SO I GIVE HIM PLENTY OF WATER AND JUICE.
I KNOW BEING A FIRST TIME PARENT IS STRESSFULL CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING,JUST FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCS AND TRY TO RELAX A LITTLE.
ALSO, CONGRATULATIONS FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT MOM(I CAN TELL YOU ARE)GOOD LUCK...

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M.

answers from Orlando on

If your girls are sick they probabally are not hungry, when we get sick we don't want to eat too much either. A virus causes us not to want to eat too much. You are feeling out of control the sickness has more control. All they need is plenty of fluids. Don't get discouraged. I was up all night with an 8 year old and it's like telling a mechanic what is wrong with your car, even at that age all he can say is it feels like stinging, What does that mean? I don't know all I can do is give him Tylenol and lots of hugs and kisses and be there for him until he gets better.

Hang in there they will eat when they are hungry, just keep giving them plenty of fluids that is the most important thing.

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M.S.

answers from Tampa on

i have a 4 yr old he done the the same thing from the time he was born at 36 weeks, he weighed 5lb and 12 oz. when he was born he spent 3 days in nicu and went down to 5lb 6oz, now he eats all the time except when he is sick,then we buy that pedisure,and he drinks a couple of days and then he starts eating alot, it is always good to keep pedisure around for when they dont want to eat,you can actuly give them one a day,it will give them there nuitrion they need when they dont eat right, i hope this inforemation helps, that pedisure is like a milk shake, different flavors, and you can get it at the grocery store ,and or drug store. let me know if this helps,good luck god bless.

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M.J.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I think you have NOTHING to worry about. My daughter is 29 months and we go thru the same thing. First keep in mind that when they are sick, EVERYTHING changes. I would not worry so much as far as what they are eating because keep in mind that when we are sick, we don't feel much like anything either. I would however suggest that you offer choices that are low in sugar so they don't get "spoiled" and expect oatmeal cookies for dinner when they do feel better. I only share this with you because my daughter has learned very well the game of manipulation "mom I don't feel good, but I want backyardigan snacks instead of my dinner". I am also VERY petite (about 106lbs) and my daughter is only 25 lbs and 36 inches so it sounds like your girls are doing FINE!!! I would just remember that once they get hungry they WILL eat.. just make sure they get two things to pick from and I would make sure that they are both very HEALTHY choices. This way, even when they only have a glass of apple juice and a bowl of grapes during the day.. It is at least healthy. Something else is to limit juice.. Another suggestion is pasta... My daughter loves noodles and I buy either the egg noodles (higher in protein) or these macaroni noodles from barilla that are fortified and very yummy. I boil a bunch and keep it handy in the fridge. There are days she eats plain noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner but I will throw in maybe plain unsweetened applesauce or two cubes of cheese throughout the day. My point is that they are doing fine and it is mostly a stage.. They are too busy playing and not interested in eating all that much. Don't worry!!! You are doing great..... Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Pensacola on

Well, I can tell you that both of my daughters seem little to me, the 5 yr old (sept 15, 2000) weighs in at a hefty 42 lbs. and the 3 yr old (oct 11, 2002) is almost 35. From the age of about 20 months or so they never really ate much, I am having trouble getting my 3 yr old to eat things like mac and cheese (her favoite), but I had the same problem with ym oldest, and she finally grew out of it I'd say a little over 4 yrs old. It took a long time it seemed to me, but geez am I glad its over, neither one of my kids like to eat when they feel sick, they kinda mope around the house and dont eat much, not even the good stuff like candy or popsicles or cookies, so I wouldn;t be worried about it too much if it doesnt last for a long period of time, just have juice or milk available so they dont get dehydrated. Now I also have a 6 mo old son who is already at 27.5 lbs what a change there. hahaha Good Luck. Twins whew I am a twin I can only imagine how much work it is.
J.

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L.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

Looks like you've had some good feedback to your questions/concerns. I'm just chimeing in since I also have twins(they are one). I am in a similiar place with the feedings. I can tell that they look to one another's reactions to food at times as well. I had a scheduled csection at 38 weeks and they were good sized at 6lb 5oz and 6lb 13oz. I breastfed them until about a month or so and they started out as great eaters and now they are so picky for some reason. And when one doesn't feel good, forget it!! They have chubbly legs and round tummies so I am trying not to overstress and as long as they enough wet diapers I'm okay. I'm confident that it's a stage and "I never let them see me sweat"-not always easy!! I don't reach for advil but I have slipped into the bathroom for an occasional cry recently. Maybe our paths will cross someday as I am out with my jogging stroller daily with my twins and three year old around lighthouse dr. Take care, L.

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K.S.

answers from Tampa on

My son is now 21 months old. He was a great eater right up until he turned one and then nothing. He would go days with just eating a little bit and driking whole milk. My ped said that he was fine on the chart and as long as he was drinking milk he was getting most of his vitamins and if it made me feel better give him daily vitamins to ensure he gets everything he needs. For a better part of this year, I was in your shoes still worried that he wouldn't eat, try to feed him a few different options (not try until he ate) because I didn't want "cater" to him. I figured he would eat when he was ready. When he was sick he did not eat at all, but I kept him hydrated (especially with pedialyte - they have packets you can mix up). Three weeks ago he started daycare, and now he eats all the time...its weird, almost given up trying to understand...I don't know if it is the kids eating around him and he gets it now...or if he is using more energy and is more hungry..whatever the case may be he has started eating. So I would say, hang in there, don't stress over it so much as long as the ped says their okay, give them vitamins and keep them hydrated and when they are ready....they will eat. Just know you are not alone!

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V.S.

answers from Lakeland on

V.,
You're in good company. My daughter is 2 1/2 years old, 26lbs and 36 in. tall, very lean, but all there. And has days when she eats well, and days when she won't touch anything but crackers. Its very common for toddlers not to eat when they're sick, basically like us. I think most kids are overfed anyways, and its been quite a blessing that I have a child who knows when she's hungry and when she's not. Your worries are normal. My neighbor's boy is built and she says he rarely eats anything. I try not to make a big deal about it at dinner so it doesn't become a power struggle over food.
Hope this helps.
First time Mommy of a toddler living in Lakeland too.

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A.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hello V.! My son is almost 3. He weighed 8lb 3 oz, and was always fat, fat, fat. I too am (well was before two kids) petite and hubby tho tall was always a skinny kid. Then he started walking and moving and jumping and running, then the doc started worrying, too skinny, not gaining, underweight...blah blah
made me and hubby crazy and miserable. I spend countless hours tallying calories and researching menus and blah blah... Think about it, when youre sick, you would just rather sleep all day too than eat...you just CANT anymore. I had to document every bit of food that my child consumed, and when we brought it back to the doc after two weeks..."looks good, keep it up" ????? hello....???
I think when you have a second child, (rather than two at once) you are soooo much more relaxed because you realize how much you spazzed over things that will just eventually go away. (see post about fear of balls!)
When they are hungry, they will eat. If you can try to offer only good foods...fruits and veggies, if nothing else...you can always try to mask things...like a milkshake or yogurt that has fresh banana or blueberries thrown in....ive found the more creative ive gotten, and the less ive worried and pestered and gotten upset, the more successful ive been. why is it wrong to dip grapes in bbq sauce? I dont know. I personally am the pickiest eater in the world, and spent my whole childhood hearing about it, so i have tried very, very hard not to let my taste influence what I serve them. My son considers roma tomatoes a snack! Ick!
The only other thing i would recommend is perhaps pediasure, tho they are SOOO expensive...i opted for carnation instant breakfasts...lots of cals and vitamins...plus you can find in choc, van and strawberry (and you could always still throw in additional fruit.
Good luck, and as all things...this too shall pass :)

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I do not have twins however my daughter was born at 5 lb 3 oz. She has never "charted" in any percentile and our ped has never been worried as long as she gained weight. She is now 18 mos and 18 lbs. and happy and healthy. She is not a big eater. I stressed at first too (and sometimes still do) but my ped said as long as she eats something not to worry. At this age they are asserting their independence etc. The one thing he said that really sticks with me is not to make food an issue. They are learning what their boundries are and what they can get away with. If you start letting food become and issue (yours or theirs) they will respond to that. I have read countless articles (in mags and online) that support that opinion. As long your ped is sure they are doing fine I would try not to stress so much. If it makes you feel better get another opinion from a different dr. And as far as the meds go, that seems right. Even when I got antibiotics recently it was 1 X 5 days. There are so many antibiotics now and so many illnesses that things keep changing. Try not to stress so much. If not for yourself than for your girls. Good luck.

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M.

answers from Orlando on

V.,
Good momma syndrome!!!!!!! Your just protectng and this is good. You will learn when to panic and when to simply sit back. And remeber NEVER PANIC! Look the girls will NOT allow themselves to starve! Period! They will eat when they are hungry. NOW the trick is to not let them just eat junk. BAD, BAD, BAD. Keep healthy foods on their diet and make sure while they are sick you keep them hydrated. Remember, thay can't tell you if I eat feeling sick like I do I will throw up or poop my pants, but they know how their belly feels. So they choose not to eat now. They will make up for it. Have they not had eating sprees where they just eat and eat? If not they will then be sure they are eating healthy.......
God Bless

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J.S.

answers from Pensacola on

Ok first of all never let em see you sweat!!! You have to act like your in charge even though we know they are really the ones in charge. As for the not eating dont let it stress you to much. I am a mother of five kids and mine have gone through spells of not eating for days at a time. When they are sick they dont feel like eating just like grown ups. Just give them so TLC and I promise they will get back to normal once they are feeling a little better. If the Doctor isnt concerned you shouldnt be either. Just relax and enjoy them they grow up really fast. Hope this helps you out. One more thing maybe try some pedialyte popsicles that will give them vitamins and also make you feel a little better to see them get something down. Hope they feel better soon. Take care

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

V.,

Don't worry so much. My daughter is almost 3 (9/20) and she weighs 27 lbs. She is a midget but I am only 5'2" as well. (I am not as thin as you are :().

Hannah had that virus 2 weeks ago. She doesn't eat when she is sick. I have always been told to not force her to eat. they will eat when they are feeling better.

Just make sure they get plenty of fluids. My pediatrician told me to give her Gatorade to keep her hydrated when she is sick. Hannah usually sleeps alot when she isn't feeling well.

Anyway, I hope this helps. Keep your chin up. Once they start school - you'll be seeing alot more of this, sorry to say.

Good Luck!

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C.V.

answers from Miami on

Hi. My friend has twins who aren't big eaters also. She supplemented their diets with pedisure. Have you tried that? It may give you more peace of mind when thier sick.
Cathy

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M.

answers from Orlando on

Just a note to let you know that it is ok for them to go without eating when they are sick. But you need to make sure they do not dehydrate. So try to get them to drink plenty of liquids. If they don't want to drink then you can try juice pops.

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L.G.

answers from Tampa on

My 23-month-old daughter is also tall and thin for her age, and some days hardly seems to eat anything. I don't worry anymore about it though, because her pediatrician (and the toddler care books I've read) have said that toddlers really don't eat very much. We just expect them to eat more; their stomaches are actually really small.

When my daughter is sick, I try to get her to drink more milk, so that she is still getting some protein. Try some yogurt or applesauce if they don't want anything solid.

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D.B.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

My son is 20 months and will not eat much while he is sick. He has had 3 illnesses in the last few months. I just make sure to voice concern to ped about not eating, so if any questions come up about my thin child, I'm covered. I give him as much fat as I can when he's sick to help keep his weight from dropping to much. Lots of high fat ice cream, hot dogs, nuts, avacodos..ect

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T.K.

answers from Orlando on

As long as they are drinking and staying hydrated it is normal for a child to not want to eat when they are sick. If it continues and you are concerned I would contact your pediatrician.

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L.T.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi my son is now 31/2 years and NO, they don't eat very much when really ill. I live in England at the moment (from Winter Haven)and you don't get anti-biots for virus, nothing here - you suffer through it with all the stress!
Lots to drink of 50/50 real fruit juice and water, milk diluted as well. Plain simple very small snack plate of the dry cerial, (cherrios does work well for this)bagel, baby type organic biscuits, plain rice cakes... that sort of really bland food non-wholemeal if they have upset tummies. One plate for each of them and see if they take anything after they had some pain relievers. Put the snack asst in ice cube trays with a baby applesauce dip to see if you can tempt dipping.

I knew my son was bad when he refused his absolute favourite of fruity oatmeal. He lost more then 10% of his body weight in a week.

On the upswing - when they start to feel better, be prepared for the voracious eating spree. They cannot get much into their shrunken tummies so my friends and I noticed that they really needed to eat every 30 minutes. I carried little sandwiches, baby snack bars, raisins etc everywhere and had to stop the car on busy roads as he had to have it NOW!!!
Get ready for healthy filling snacking that may last as long as a week, day and even into the night for my girlfriends daughter that had to be seen at hospital it got so dramatic.

Good luck, your email brought back that sunken sick feeling that I remember so well.

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A.B.

answers from Seattle on

Hi V.:
I feel your concern. Any normal mother can certainly understand where your coming so don't feel like your alone. My little one is 27 months old and is recovering from strep throat. She had reocurring fevers for 9 days & I was sleeping with one eye open. She also refused to eat for about 5 or 6 days but slowly regained some appetite. I am guessing your little girls are not eating due to the fever. I wouldn't worry so much about the food but the fluids are super important. Can you get them to drink milk or juice? If they still have a fever after a few days of antibiotics call the doctor and let them know. They may have to give the twins a stronger prescription. Continue to call the doctor if progress is not being made.
I hope your little girls get well soon and I wish you good luck & welcome to motherhood!!!
A.

fevers continues all the way

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K.A.

answers from Orlando on

Your doctor should have told you this, but...it's the 4 day process when they are sick. Once they are able to keep liquids down (my kids won't drink pedialite-try clear gatorade, a few oz every hour or so) Day 1 clear liquids (gatorade, chicken broth) Day 2 starches (crackers, rice-good for diaherria, toast) Day 3 proteins (chicken) Day 4 dairy. Lay off the dairy especially.

My daughter is 27 months and weighs 27 lbs so they are fine. 2-3 year olds dramatically change their eating habits. Some times they won't eat for days, literally. Nothing. Then they will seen starving. Or sometimes my daughter will eat a big lunch and then no dinner. It's normal, they will eat when they are hungry. Just keep offering several things at each lunch and snack time and by 3 3/12 they will even out and start eating more routinely. Don't stress it, they pick up on it and you don't want to start bad eating habits this young.

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V.

answers from Orlando on

Your children will eat when they are hungry. Just make sure they are getting plenty of fluids. I used to give my kids juice pops made from 100% juice. I mean offer them food. Leave it out for them to much on if they feel like it. My kids graze all day, even when they aren't sick.

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S.G.

answers from Tampa on

My first daughter who is now 4 1/2, was born at 32 weeks and 3 #12oz. I was stressed at first, but have a great Ped Dr who said she will eat when she is hungry. We of course went alot due to how preemie she was, but every visit he told me if she's getting bigger she's fine. Now at 4 1/2 she is 39" tall and 34#, smaller than most kids. My second daughter was born in Nov at 37 weeks and was 5#14oz. Eats anything you put in front of her! She is 18# and 26" tall and I was concerned at first because she seems to eat anything. The Ped Dr again said she will eat only when she's hungry and as long as she is getting bigger she is fine, I of course then said is she getting to big since my first is small. He said stop worrying her weight is correct for her height. Kids have not learned to eat under stress, if they are bored, or the many other reasons adults eat other than hunger. They will be fine. If they are sick, like the other response said just make sure they are getting liquids. And of course check with your dr if your really concerned, but I would think they are fine. Good Luck and try to relax and enjoy your to little miralces.
S. Gallo
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