" Seeking Mom's with Advise

Updated on February 21, 2007
A.C. asks from Washington, PA
23 answers

I have a 19 month old little boy, and I don't know what to do or how to help him talk. He says a few words here and there not very often but he mostly screams and points at things to get what he wants. What can I do to help him?

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Seek early intervention. Soon. Speech is unrelated to intelligence, but nothing can demolish a child's ability to behave appropriately than an inability to communicate.

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S.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

my first advice would be to talk to his pediatrician and find out about getting him a hearing test. It is probably fine, but could be one answer. Just keep 'playing games' with him needing to answer and talking about things like the letters on the store signs...(the big S in the Sears sign etc). Try music getting him kids music like Veggie Tales may make him want to sign along as he learns the words. Just remember also that all children grow at thier own speed and he just might be a late bloomer... good luck

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A.

Kids develop at such different rates. My daughter hardly spoke much before 2. When she started, it was in full sentences and she chats a lot now at 3. My son is going to be 2 next month and he never stops talking and in complex sentences! If you feel he is seriously delayed, you can check with your ped about resources in your area.

Things you can do at home include surrounding him with TONS of language. Read lots of books - any kind he's interested in...board books, simple stories, songs put to books. Mine loved the board books that were like baby dictionaries when they were learning to talk. You can basically just identify all the different pictures for him. Label everything for him - point things out as you see them in natural settings - at the grocery store, tell him each item you pick out to put in the cart. Talk about the color, shape, flavor, etc of the item. Talk about tasks and the steps as you do them...cleaning, cooking, etc. Put on music. There are tons of kids song cd's available with fun songs. Get up and sing and dance along to the tunes. Put the music on in the car and sing along - and if you aren't listening to music, talk about things you can see out of the car windows. If he is trying to communicate with you and you know what he wants, label it for him and model how to ask for it... "Oh, you would like a drink please." After giving it to him model "Thank you, Mama." You don't have to make a big deal about him repeating what you say. My little ones are very consistent with using polite words just from repeatedly hearing me model appropriate times. I never forced them to repeat them or talked about using them. Little ones copy everything - so use as much language as you can. Spend as much time as you can playing with him. Build blocks and talk about the shape or color as you build a tower tall. Use lots of descriptive words. With all of this talking, do pause periodically to give him opportunities to also try to speak or interact nonverbally as well.

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N.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.!!!! It sounds like your son might have some issues developmentally, maybe more so with speech and communication. I had the same concern with mys son at 18 months old. He wasn't saying any words at the time, and he would pull us around to the things that he wanted. I suggest finding info on your local infant&toddlers program. They work thru the county and can come to your home and assess your son, ang give you a better sense of what is going on with him. I would also take him to a developmental pediatrician as well. My son is now 3 and he was assessed at 18 months by our county infant&tods program, then he was seen by a dev. pediatrician at 2. At that time he was diagnosed with autism. I don't know whether your son is showing characteristics like my son was at that age, but it would be helpful for you to find out exactly what the issue(s) may be so that he can get help now. I would also talk to your son's regular pediatrician about these concerns as well.

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S.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A., the most impotant thing you can do is to NOT give in when he does the point and scream thing! You need to be firm and consistant about telling him that he needs to use his words if he wants something. Also, if he does not know many words of he just doesn't want to talk you can use sign language with him. There are many books out there with simple signs you can learn and teach him. We did this with my oldest girl before she could talk and plan on using it with our second daughter. You can pick up the books at a library or buy them. I hope this helps!! ~ S. ps....also one of the most important things to remember is to not "baby talk". For example, don't call a bottle a "ba-ba"

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D.T.

answers from Johnstown on

You might want to think about taking him to have his hearing check and get a speech screening down. There are services out there that are suited to help small children. I know in our area, there is one calls Beginnings that works with children up to the age of 3. After the age of 3 it is the local intermediate unit that takes over. (In PA, the intermediate unit is those who are responsible for the special education services in different counties of the state. I work for one.) I teach special education and have found out over the years how important it is for early intervention if you think there is a problem at this early age.

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M.T.

answers from Scranton on

i had a son who did that he would point and grunt or scream so what i did was make him say the word before i gave him what he wanted like if he wanted a drink i would make him say drink dont worry about how he say things he might even say dink for drink just as long as you can hear a word instead of a scream or a grunt give him time also he will learn but make him say the word he will adjust to it and whatever you do don't give him what he wants till he says the words he will get the message ok he will probably get mad but will get over it and he will pick up what you want him to do lol if he wants this i need to say this type thing. good luck and let us know how it works out btw my son is now almost 17 and talks wonderfully

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N.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A. - the best thing you could do is to get in touch with the Early Intervention Unit in your county - are you in Chester County? If you think he is a bit delayed in speech, they will be able to help determine that and then they could figure out how to help him. It is state funded. N. G.

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D.M.

answers from Scranton on

I have a niece that is 19 mths old and she only says simple things like mama, dada. They have begun teaching her sign language as a means to express her wants. It has cut down on her crying and frustrations. Although the words are still repeated to her, the sign language has worked great. She learned it very quickly. Her pediatrician praised it saying it was a great idea. It could also turn out to be a valuable tool for the future. Her hearing is perfect so that's not an issue with her speech. The ped said they will see how she's doing at her 2 yr checkup. If she's not talking more by then, then the doctor will address it. All children develop differently, for instance, her older sister was talking full sentences by 19 mths old. Because I babysit her, my brother and sister-in-law have shown me the sign language they are teaching her so that when she is with me I understand. She can sign things like, more,thank you,cookie,milk, etc. My sister-in-law has an older nephew whose wife is teaching sign language to their little boy also and told my sister-in-law about it. I think they got it from the baby einstein stuff, but I'm not sure.
D.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I had the same problem with me older son and am currently having the same problems with my 23 month old. I always have a onesize undershirt on him and make sure that is always on if we aren't going anywhere. Long sleeve shirts with snaps help. However the best solution I have found is overalls. My boys couldn't figure out how to get then off. You have to make sure the shoulder straps are snug, and I avoid the ones that snap apart on the legs because my boys used to seperate the legs and rip off thier diaper. Good luck

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K.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A.,
My daughter was also not speaking that much at 19 months. We were extremely worried as other children her age seemed farther along in their speech development. I would highly recommend that you talk to your pediatrician about your concerns. When we did, he recommended we contact our county's Early Intervention progam. Not sure where you are located but your pediatrician should be able to provide the name/number. We are in Gloucester County (NJ) - I can get that name/number for you if you are in our area. It was fantastic. They came out and evaluated Kaitlyn - all through play. Then they gave us ideas on how to help her with her speech (as she didn't qualify for the state program). You'll have to check with your program, but our initial evaluation was free and had she qualified, they would work on a fee that works for the family. The evaluation is done in your home and they are really good with the kids. They have speech therapists, occupational therapists, etc... They were very encouraging and informative. If your little boy does need help, they write up an entire program for him, kind of like an IUP that gets done in schools. They meet at your home monthly to help you put the plan into place.

The other thing that I would recommend is lots of reading. The more words chilren hear the better. We read every night before bedtime and Kaitlyn has started to make up stories to read to her younger sister now.

As for the screaming and pointing...we also went through that. It got to the point where we would not give Kaitlyn anything unless she said (or at least attempted to say) the word. We also used sign language for words like "more" and "please" which helped. Kids get frustrated when they are trying to communicate and we don't understand. Sometimes, sign language, even if it's a made up sign, can help. I know other parents that created a sign for "milk" and "food".

It's great that you are trying to find ways to help him with his speech. We always worry when our kids don't do what other kids their age are doing but it's also important to remember that they all develop differently. My younger child is talking like crazy and she's 17 months, but I really believe that's from spending time with her older sister and from us putting into play the things we learned from Early Intervention with Kaitlyn.

Talk to your pediatrician and if they are not supportive and encouraging, I would recommend finding one that is. I had another friend that had to do that.

Good luck and hang in there.

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S.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Every child develops at a different speed, especially with speech. There are some kids that don't talk at all until they're ready and can almost speak in sentences. But to help him you can just keep saying the words. When he points to something and you figure out what he wants, just make sure you tell him what it is, sooner or later he'll catch on. I know it's frustrating because they get whiny when they're not getting what they want but try and be patient because they're probably more frustrated than you!

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J.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A.,

My son will be 3 in April and he is just getting to a point where people can understand what he is saying. We still have a lot of frustrating moments when I can't understand him. When he points at something, make sure to tell him what it is. Also, talk a lot about the world around you. It may not help immediatly, but this will help him learn the words. Finally, make sure he is looking at you when you talk to him so he can see how your mouth moves with the different words. I remember with my son we used to have to break things down in to syllables. I would teach him each syllable and then have him put them together one by one (this works really well with names). Eventually he learned the syllables and how to combine them on his own. I hope some of this helps you out. Just know you aren't alone.

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A.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would encourage him to ask for the things he wants by saying the word for whatever he is pointing to and asking him to repeat it. Also, he might have figured out that he can get what he wants by screaming if you're responding to it. If you feel like he can say the word if he tries, maybe ignore the screaming. Also, baby sign language is helpful for kids who can't quite yet verbalize what they want.

Just give him lots of opportunities to talk, and he will get the hang of it. Talk a lot, describe everything, ask him questions, and read as much as you can. Good luck!

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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A.. I have a 3 yr old who's speech was slow like your child. I recommend having your child evaluated my early intervention. It's a safe guard just to rule out any other issues. My son has PDD which is on the austim spectrum. I owe early intervention alot, my son talks, it's broken for 3 but his tantrums are down.
Getting educated to help your child is so vital at this age.
Good Luck
If you want to talk anytime, I'm here

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L.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A. my name is L.. I have a 3yr old and a 10 month old. I do know what your going through. I was worried about my son's talking also. He could say certain words but also yelled and pointed to what he wanted.I was so worried because the peds DR said he would have to go to speach therapy if he was talking more by 2. Well by 2 he was saying almost every word posible. So don't worry about it to much he will be talking and saying words youd never think a 2 year old could say. Now my son is 3 and wont be quite for more than 2 seconds. when he hit 2 then worry a little but I'm sure he will be talking your ear off before then.

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

My daughter was about there at that age, now she's just turned 2 and uses sentences. It's really not out of the realm of normal. I don't think he would qualify for EI if he is using any words at this age, unless you think he has other challenges.

One thing that helped us out with communication in general was learning sign language. There are tons of books out there, or videos. We like Signing Time. http://www.signingtime.com/

PS: Here is the dev. milestones site for PA: http://www.dpw.state.pa.us/Child/EarlyIntervention/003670... One of the 18 month milestones is grunting and pointing to indicate needs. Sounds like he's right on track. If he hasn't progressed to the next level, short sentences, by 24 months then you might need to worry.

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J.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A....I am sure you are furstrated. My neice is a hair over one, I have raised her since she was 3 months. She doesnt crawl, walk, talk much except for da da, and she doesnt want to really eat baby food. I talked with the doctor and I took her to childrens hospital for some testing..turns out that she has an extra X chroneasone (sp) and one of the things with that is it can cause delayed development with children. Not saying that is what is wrong with your little guy but who would a thought. Regardless this is really something I would speak to the doctor over...is he doing all the other things he should be doing at 19 months...? If not then another sure shot indacator to talk with you doctor.
Ohh and A., relax...dont let the things you are told get you worked up. Just take a deep breath and see what happens.

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C.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I was in the same situation with my son when he was around the same age. We were lucky if we got mommy and daddy out of him. He used to throw temper tandrums and everything. There is a program. Its called the Alliance for Infants and toddlers. They will come into your home free of charge and do and evaluation of your child. If your child is more than 25 % behind in speach, he will qualify for speach therapy. They will come into your home for the therapy, and it will be no cost to you. If you would like more information, let me know.. My son has been in the program now since he was about 1 1/2. Everyone is great. He will be turning 3 now in March, and he would move onto the next phase for preschool. He will got to a special preschool becuase he is still having problems, and because he was in the program, and they are the ones recommending it, the school is going to be free to me. If you need someone to talk to, or you want some more advice, then let me know. Good luck.. C.

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D.B.

answers from Dover on

Sign language is a great help! It will decrease his frustration, and most likely decrease the volume of his voice. : ) There are teachers, videos, books you can use. Try your library first.

I completely agree with Heather--when he points/grunts at something, use complete sentences to verify you know what he wants and tell him to say it. If he grunts a little sound, tell him "Good job!" and give it to him. It may take some time to get him in the swing of it, but that will help.

Let us know how it works!

D.

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M.T.

answers from Washington DC on

A. ~

One thing that I think helped my daughter is that I talk, talk, talk when I am with her! If my body is moving, my mouth is, too. I tell her everything I am doing, from changing her diaper to washing her face. I'm surprised that my daughter's first words weren't 'Be quiet, Mommy!'

I definitely think it helped...she repeats what I say all the time now, and has learned a ton of words! :)

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T.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

Are you giving your son what he wants when he points at things he wants? My nephew had the same problem when he was younger. He would grunt to get what he wanted. At first we didn't think much of it but when he wasn't even trying to talk we knew we had to do something. We stopped just giving him what he wanted when he grunted. We would point to things and ask "Is this what you want? Do you want the juice?" and we would repeat it until he at least aknowledged in some way that it was what he wanted other than a grunt. And we would repeat the word that he needed to say a few times to him. Something like "You wanted the juice, here is your juice, can you say juice?". I know it sounds silly but it made alot of difference, some kids will be content to grunt and scream if they are getting what they want. Both of my nephews also had speech problems and had to go to HeadStart to get help for it so I would definitely see a doctor about it. But the doctor may just tell you to wait a few more months before worrying about it. Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

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R.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

hello there,
had to write...i first felt compelled because of the speech issue but then i knew i had to when i read your about me comment...my husband is a drunk as well..ANYWAYS...lol...my son didnt say anything when he was 18 mths old...we told his pediatrician...they referred me to early intervention...its a great organization..its all free and they come out to your house and evaluate the child...see if there is indeed a delay and give the child services in your home...they gave my child speech therapy but they have other services such as occupational as well..the therapist came out once a week for an hour and basically played with him but was very helpful in teaching me ways to help my son communicate with me...up until my son was 3 he wouldnt even let me know that he was hungry..,he would just throw temper tantrums...he wouldnt even mimic sounds until he was over 2 1/2,we had him to specialists and they were talking autism...basically,(and you probably wouldnt know it from this story..lol) i want you to know that you dont need to worry...they say boys take longer to talk than girls..when my son turned 3,his speech started and in the last year, it has blown me away the phrases he comes up with...i would advise talking to your pediatrician and ask him/her about early intervention(they really helped us alot)and its free so you cant beat it....they work with the child using things the child is into..my son loves numbers, letters and the tv...so i taped myself using words and such and let him watch that....he didnt start talking right after that but he liked it alot more than working with me one on one....they taught me some signs and how to teach him to use the signs...and for whatever reason, my son took to the signs WAY before he was interested in using any words....if i can be of any more help to you,let me know...i can only share from my personal experience, but if it can help you any, i would be glad to do so....good luck...R.

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