Should I Bother to Place My Daughter in Pre-K?

Updated on March 19, 2008
M.S. asks from Brooklyn, NY
13 answers

So I was wondering if I should even bother with pre-k? I never went and neither did my sister. My daughter is 2 1/2 and isn't potty trained. Her grandma wants to enroll her in a catholic pre-k. I'm not catholic and I don't want my daughter going to a religious school. I want a public school. So I figured instead of spending money on any type of pre-k I should just wait until kindergarten. What should I do?

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So What Happened?

I'm currently thinking about the Catholic school down the street. it's convenient and her dad and aunt went there. Between her dad and aunt they both had different experiences, but I'm going with the convenience right now. There aren't a lot of pre-ks around where I live.

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E.D.

answers from New York on

Universal pre-K is the year before kindergarten, and is 1/2 days/five days/wk. It is in the public school system, and is free. All children in NYC are eligible. Kindergarten is full day, and I think if the child never went to any school (part time), before starting kindergarten, then it will be almost to much to handle. These are tough decisions, good luck.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.
It is a personal choice really. I have 2 children. My son went to pre-k and my daughter did not. My son is more of an independent loner with a selected few friends and my daughter is a social butterfly. So go figure???
If you don't want her in a catholic school environment then spare yourself the expense. If you'd like her going to pre k, then find yourself a public school that has it. On the positive side, it will allow you some freedom a couple of days a week if not the entire week, depending on when you take her. Do this if it feels right to you, for the right reasons. Only you know your child and what she's ready for. Don't do it simply because grandma wants it and certainly not if you have to pay for the environment you do not want. Be kind, yet firm with grandma. Good luck.

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T.F.

answers from New York on

I also have a 2 1/2 year old. I was not going to send her to preschool until she was 3. However, while shopping around for preschools for fall '08, one place offered a free sample class to see how she (and I) liked it. She loved it so much that I enrolled her right away (this was in 12/07). She is not potty-trained, they change her diapers, it's 2 mornings a week. They have gym time, music time, art project time, story time, etc.

As someone else noted, pre-K is for 4 yr olds. Many private preschools in NYC receive city funding to offer 1/2 day pre-K and it is free to the parents. There is no religious content in any city-funded pre-K (as far as I know), since that wouldn't be allowed. I found a place walking distance to us in Queens to send her for preschool when she is 3, and then she gets preference for the limited number of free pre-K spots when she is 4. So you may want to find a preschool that has a free pre-K program.

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A.W.

answers from New York on

I think it is a personal choice based on your child's need. My daughter is in PreK3 at a private school. Although it is costing me a pretty penny, she outgrew home daycare and needed more structure and activity as well as interaction with children her age. That being said, if she didn't outgrow home daycare, she would have definitely stayed until she could enter a full day universal PreK4 program. I read recently that children that attend PreK programs are more advanced than their peers once the enter kindergarden, but by the time they reach 3rd grade, everyone is on the same playing field. So I guess, my point it, whatever works best for your child and her learning pattern.

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F.P.

answers from New York on

I have this same dilemma, although I have more time to think about it than you because my son is only 18 months. I have a big debate about religious based schools. We wanted to send our son to a private school just for the education factor but my husband and I are not religious. Most of the Pre-K's I have seen thus far are Catholic. Granted that I haven't looked in depth yet so I am sure there are more out there not religious based, right. Anyway, I am a firm believer in Pre-K. My brother and I went and I feel it helped alot, not only with the ABC's per se but also with social skills. My husband is a stay at home daddy and we still have him in a babysitter 2 days a week so he can get used to being away from us with out freaking out. Plus it gives us a well needed chance to get things done at the house. Good luck with the Pre-K choice.

I'm a 34 year old mom of 1 boy in Williamsburg

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R.R.

answers from New York on

Advantages of pre-k:

1) social outlet
2) foster love of school/learning
3) learn to respond to other adult besies parents/caregivers
4) opportunity to practice reading-readiness
5) introduction to routine

If your daughter isn't potty-trained, it probably isn't for her (yet).

Disadvatages of pre-k:
1) less flexibility in daily routine
2) difference in learning styles
3) approach/method of the teacher/school
4) sugar/sweets that you might not give at home.

Even if you aren't religious, often religious preschools provide the "best for the money", and a good welll-rounded experience for children.

My daughter (4) goes to a Lutheran Pre-k, and has classmates of various faiths (including Islam).

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B.C.

answers from New York on

I put my daughter in nursery school and it was a tremendous help in terms of the potty training because they re-inforced the message of using the potty. My daughter was with a private sitter and I felt that at the time if nothing else she could benefit from the socialization skills children learn by being with others in their age group instead of at home with an adult all day long. I also met some wonderful parents and my daughter who is now 4 has made some friends that we still see very regualarly. You can start out by going twice a week for three hours a day with those days and hours you can find something inexpensive.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

Hi M., I waited until kindergarten with my first and second children. They really did just fine. We read a lot, played a lot, did art projects, found teaching moments in everyday life. We had play groups and friends. We cooked, cleaned, did errands and shopping together. We went to parks, museums, nature centers, zoos, science centers, aquariums. They learned a lot about life and interacting in society by taking the ride with me. Once they went into kindergarten, the teacher said they caught up quickly with whatever was needed and adjusted easily to school. They were very independent, self-guided, well-behaved, agreeble and eager to learn. My 3rd and 4th children did 1 year of minimal pre-k. They had the same up-bringing and their older siblings plus the benefit of being and learning from them. They were late in the year birthdays and were very precocious, independent and self-motivated. They also did wonderfully once in kindergarten. Follow your gut instincts. Do what feels right to you. Good luck, C. mother to 4 sons 16, 14, 11, 7. LLLL and IBCLC

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K.S.

answers from New York on

As an educator I can tell you that pre-K isn't what it was when we were children. The children are introduced to the school setting and are taught letters, numbers, writing their name. Its what kinergarten use to be. I would recommend sending your child to pre-k. Since many children are being sent to nursery school you don't want your child to be left behind in terms of skills acquisition when she enters kindergarten. It's very competitive out there. I'm stressing out about sending my girls to nursery school!

Why not send her to a public school for pre-k then switch her when she enters first grade? Definitely go into observe a class if you decide to send her.

Good luck.

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C.R.

answers from New York on

I personally believe a child should go to Pre-k for the reason that most children do. If you decide not to your child will most likely be behind developementally in Kindergarten. So whether it be a private or public school it is good for the child. Good Luck.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

Hey M.!! First of all, she is only 2 1/2, so are you talking to pre school ( 3 yr old ) or pre-k (4 yr old)? You dont really need to send her to preschool when she is 3 but it does help, getting them ready in terms of socializing and sitting in circle time, etc. I do highly recommend putting her in pre-k @4 tho'. If u are putting her in public school, the dept of ed has a great pre k program which is free...
and for what its worth, (i am not catholic either) my girls went to catholic preschool and it was ok, not great. that is just my opinion. some are great. depends on the school...

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
Putting your daughter into pre-school Is something only you know if it is right for her. My son (4 yrs) loves going to pre-school and it has done wonders for his self confidence. Today is the first day of Spring break and he is already pestering me about when he gets to go back to school and play with his friends. There are so many different options when looking for a pre-school in New York I would guess that you could find one that follows you ideology and expectations. Not all of them focus on academics or religion.

I would strongly advise you and your husband, if it is his mother, pushing this issue to sit down with her and thank her for her good intentions but explain to her your desire to give your daughter a religion free education. If you accept her assistance against your better judgement this time it will be harder to reject it next time, especially if your daughter enjoys herself.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Hi M.! I'm a first grade teacher and STRONGLY encourage you to put your daughter in a PRE-K program. (Even if it's just the year before.) I think she will be at a real disadvantage going into kindergarten these days without a little foundation of the basics. To be honest, kindergarten is a whole new world - not like when we grew up. (Although you are ten years younger than me.) The curriculum is so much more involved and kindergartners are reading and writing and so many kids come into school knowing most/all of their letters/sounds, even some basic sight words and have strong number recognition skills, etc. It's also a good idea to develop her social skills and practice separation time.
If you are interested in "home schooling" these skills - that's great too - but definitely make sure she is doing social things! (That's fun for you too!)
Hope this helps!
A.

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