Should I Let My Daughter Not Eat Meat?

Hi B.! I would not have responded except that I feel that some posters have gotten a little bit rude and slightly offended at you for asking an honest question. Good grief! Obviously you are not going to shove meat down her throat, that's not even remotely relevant.
I became a vegetarian at a young age. I do now eat some meat- BTW....unprocessed animal products ARE good for you contrary to a previous posters views. I totally agree with the people who had great advice for you to go ahead and teach her how to cook healthy vegetarian meals and try to incorporate those healthy choices into your family meals.
Don't let her load up on refined grains and processed "meat replacement foods" or soy. It's all garbage.
If you want, I have HUNDREDS of vegetarian recipes. It's easy to make healthy, balanced, easy meals the whole family can enjoy. Trust me....in my family we have vegetarians, vegans and meat eaters and we all get along! :)
You are doing a GOOD JOB mom! Even asking the question shows how much you care for your daughter!

If she feels strongly about it, let her give it a try. Have her do research on alternate protein sources that she is willing to eat, and maybe have her work up an acceptable menu that she will stick to and help prepare. There are lots of alternatives, but they take some extra thought and preparation. Having her do the legwork will help her decide whether she really wants to put in the extra effort to be a vegetarian. Either way, it will put the responsibility on HER shoulders and she will become more educated about nutrition.
When my dad started bringing deer home to butcher and eat, I was a conscientious objector to ingesting it myself. They tried forcing me, and then tricking me, and it turned me completely off of all red meat. That was 13 years ago and I still cannot stomach the thought of eating most meats. My parents, especially my dad, have expressed their regret in how they handle things. Had they known how it would "traumatize" me, they never would have pushed the issue.

I think we all know that your daughter is off to a good habit of limiting her meat intake. My hubby and son are both vegetarians (and their energy levels and bodies) both show it while I'm the only meat-eater in the family. Perhaps this could be seen as a way for the whole family to start trying out new things so that as a family everyone has a meal where it isn't simly only meat or non-meat. My family really loves indian dishes and when my hubby cooks them at home I don't care whether it's meat or just veggies. Oh, you didnt' mention whether she will eat fish or seafood. My hubby and son will eat those so we tend to have that 2-3x/week but otherwise it tends to be vegetarian.

I agree with you and think that food preferences are a personal choice. I don't make my children eat a vegetable or kind of meat they don't like - it's one of those things that isn't worth fighting over! The only thing I insist on is that they try things. In this case, your daughter has a "moral" question about it and I think it is important to respect that. I would talk to her about the importance of a balanced diet and work with her to find other options for protein, iron, etc...but I think forcing a child to eat something they don't want is not a good idea. It also may be a phase as she is developing her own ideas and trying to establish some independence. Good luck!

I think the most loving thing you can do is go to the library with your daughter and together you ought to research vegetarian cookbooks...and check out the ones that have recipes you can both cook together. Eleven is a perfect age to start learning how to cook for oneself. I did. As a vegetarian/vegan in my earlier years, I learned from volunteering and working at a food cooperative really opened a lot of doors for me education-wise. If you can get her connected with a place like that, I say go for it. But be by her side, so you can learn with her. The most important thing for your daughter to get in her pre-teen years nutritionally are amino acids, protein from vegetables, calcium & magnesium, and freedom to choose not to ingest animals. It really is a healthy lifestyle if done correctly. It is truly far more economical as well, and in today's economy this is a very appealing trait of the meatless diet. Congratulations on raising a kid who pays attention to her conscience and is true to herself!

I wouldn't force her to eat meat. I think it is ok for people at ANY age to choose not to eat something.

Non-meat protein sources: all kinds of beans, peas, lentils, eggs, nuts, peanuts, peanut butter, nut butters, cottage cheese.

Talk to the doctor about suplement recommendations. She may need extra iron especially once she starts menstrating. A multi vitamin as iron in it but may not have enough in it.

no. don't force her. I have a daughter who doesn't like to eat meat either. She is still offered food from the table.

B.,
You're doing the right thing to honor her choice. This shows your daughter that you respect her views and believe she is capable of making her own decisions. She does need to understand the importance of getting protein in her diet, though, so if meat is not an option she wants, you might want to have a discussion about things she does like. If she'll eat eggs and beans, then you have two protein groups right there that are really good for her. When it comes to tofu, there are a lot of different preparations that make it more tasty. For instance:

Cut a block of extra firm tofu into 6 slices. Place those slices between several sheets of paper towels on a cutting board. Place another cutting board or flat object on top and weight it down with a heavy pan. Allow the water to press out for 20 minutes or so. Preheat your oven to 400. Cut each tofu slice into 9 pieces. Coat a cookie sheet with cooking spray and put the tofu cubes on the tray. Using about 2 T of soy sauce, brush each cube with soy sauce, until you have used all of the soy sauce. Lightly spray the cubes with cooking spray and place in the oven for 15-20 minutes. The result will be delicious morsels of soy sauce yumminess that can be used in place of meat in any stir fry recipe. Even my husband loves them.

Anyway, best of luck with your daughter. She may be a vegetarian for life now, but that's not a bad thing. OR, she may do this for a spell and come back to the carnivorous life. Either way, you are doing the right thing by letting her make this decision.

Amy K

p.s. There are also many great cereals (such as Kashi Go Lean and Optimum, to name a few) that have lots of protein. If she eats those for breakfast, you've tackled some of the protein right there.

As most of the other respondents have said, it makes sense to honor her choice and see whether she truly wants to forego meat or not. Most of my extended family are vegetarians. When my mother in law stays with us, we don't eat a lot of meat at home, but we do eat some. It's not as difficult to eat enough protein if you're aware of the sources. For instance, to get a complete protein source, you just have to have beans at some point in the day and a grain (wheat, rice, etc) at some point in the day. You don't need to consume them both at the same meal. I also agree with the suggestions about modifying the family's dishes, so the meat is optional on some of them (e.g. beans as an alternative to meat in tacos). Also, some easy vegetarian protein sources kept in the fridge for your daughter would be useful--we regularly keep a container of hummus (garbanzo bean dip found at most grocery stores) and pita in the fridge for a quick (and full protein) snack and/or meal with carrots on the side. We eat a lot of Indian food at our house, and I never miss the meat when food is cooked in such a tasty way. If your daughter likes meat substitutes (e.g. veggie burgers) it'll be easier. My mother-in-law is a vegetarian, so we have gotten used to doing things like ordering half a pizza without meat, and sharing at least one dish at a restaurant without meat (vegetable fried rice or pasta without meat). It's doable, and I applaud your efforts to allow her to make her own choices.

I stopped eating meat when I was 12 and was a vegetarian for 5 years. I still don't eat red meat and I am 29. 11 is old enough to start making decisions on her own. It is also old enough to start understanding that she has control over her own body, something that will be very, very important when it comes to dealing with boys down the road. I would say get her as involved as possible. It isn't going to hurt the rest of the family to go meat free a night or two a week. In fact, it will probably be better for you. Just because it made me crazy, please remember that stuff cooked with meat is not vegetarian. "picking around" the meat in a casserole or sauce doesn't count. She can learn to start cooking all sorts of delicious meat free dishes. Kids who cook usually become more adventurous and healthier eaters. Just don't let her fall into a trap of eating junk food because it isn't meat. She needs to eat a wide array of whole grains and veggies. I would talk to her doctor or a nutritionist about too much soy. It contains a lot of plant estrogens and I don't know how it affects a pubescent body. GOOD LUCK! I hope your husband and her father don't get too irritated reading these, but they sure are wrong. :)

She's 11, she's old enough to do some independent food preparation and make some independent food choices. (Plus, turning this into a pre-teen battle is only going to end in tears for everyone.) Sit down with her, explain how you consider your family's nutrition with every meal, and that as long as she can (with your help) figure out how to replace the nutrients she's losing by dropping the meat, you are happy to help her do that. She can do some research, find foods that she likes (she may be surprised to find that she likes some prepared frozen soy products - there's so much more than just the slab of tofu.) There's also beans of all sorts, cheese, yogurt, eggs, high protein pastas . . . She should not expect you to prepare her an entirely separate meal every night, but if you can agree that she'll eat everything *except* the meat, and she will prepare her replacement, it'd be a great exercise in independence for her. good luck!

Hi B., As an experienced Mom raising nine children, I would not get to upset with your daughter not wanting to eat meat. She is too old to force to eat food she does not want, and as long as she is getting enough good food and not just junk food she will be just fine. This is probably just a phase and will grow out of it in a short time. Do not press the issue, just let her eat what she wants. Sometimes if you insist on a child doing something they do not want to do, they will try harder to go against your wishes, and cause more grief for you and your husband. This is only the beginning of several years of cutting the apron strings and showing rebellion and independence.

kids go thru their goofy phases-if you force her to eat meat-shell really develope a hatered towards it and you...theres lots of other protein out there-i would avoid the soy-really hi in hormones...give her xtra veggies,fruit,pnut butter,nuts,dinner time instead of meat,add extra veggies an potatoes.she wont die from lack of meat...i went thru this phase with my son...the bigger ordeal you make of it-she will to for attention.just let it pass,like its normal.good luck...tell the 2 men to lighten up a bit.

I think very much so.

My family were meat and potato types as well. I usually even made dinner for my family. Even cooked the meat. Even though it made my stomach turn. I made the personal decision to not eat meat at 10 and haven't since then (unless forced to). My mom tried the forcing me to eat meat and I'd eat it and go throw it up afterwards in the bathroom. Eventually when I was 11 or 12 I just refused to eat. My parents would try the whole well you aren't eating if you don't eat what we eat... So I just didn't eat. I just couldn't. I would eat mashed potatoes or whatever side was there. Not alot of nutrition there as you'd pry guess. Plus I hated my parents for it. Just hated them.

Eventually someone, I think a therapist, told my mom more than likely it was just a phase and I was just trying to control something in my life. They told her to let me just eat beans and legumes all the time and let me have that control. I obviously very badly needed it. So they did just that when I was nearly 12. Things were much better after that.

And it wasn't just a phase I'm now 28 and still don't eat meat. The thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. I've learned to prepare all my own stuff meat free and my entire family eats that way including my children... who are 6 and 5 and are extremely healthy.

I remember when I was her age I ate bean burritos for nearly every meal and I was perfectly healthy. Otherwise my mom would make me like 10 bean soup and I'd eat that every day. Plus I always had the spaghetti that was fortified with Protein. It's easy to get protein without meat. My family does it every day for every meal.

Maybe it is a phase. Maybe it isn't. I have alot of friends that are my age, from a variety of walks of life and almost all of my female friends are veggies too, some males even. Most of them are married and their husbands aren't but they are. So alot of people just don't grow out of it. It's who they are. Otherwise she might be trying something new and will grow out of it quickly.. maybe she does just need a little control.. but regardless she's 11 and she should start having a voice now in her own life. I guess what always made me so angry is I always thought why did my parents care? Why where they forcing me to do something I felt so strongly against. It just seemed cruel and abusive. But this is just all my experience in this.

If she really feels strongly about it, I would let her be a vegetarian. But let her know that it's not going to be easy. And you can't go too far out of your way to make her "special" things all the time. Good luck.

I'm offering only an opinion here, bottom line is you do what you feel is best for your family. That being said, I don't think it would hurt anything to let her be a vegitarian. Trying to force her to eat meat may cause her to have unhealthy food issues in the future and will most definately cause power struggles right now. There are great websites for finding all sorts of new recipes like foodnetwork.com and allrecipes.com. Maybe make 1 vegitarian dish a week and the rest of the week she can pick around the meat and just eat the rest of the meal. (thats what my parents did for me, I grew out of the vegitarian stage eventually) Better yet, maybe she can make 1 veggie dish per week (with supervision). It will teach her cooking skills and having responsibility for the decisions she makes.

I think that this is an excellent chance for your daughter to learn nutrition and independence. Cooking and planning her own meals sometimes, even once and a while getting the whole family into it, will only help her learn who she is. Your family will also get several chances to eat these balanced meals without meat. This will serve to keep all meals balanced as well. Its a chance for everyone to learn. Eating around meat should not be forced. I wont eat a perfectly good casserole if it has red meat in it. Making her would go against the independence that she is craving. Those nights she can make her own meal and other nights she can help you plan around it. For example: Everyone has burgers and she can have the sides plus a protein rich option. she may or may not like veggie burgers but i find that if they are prepare like a burger, grilled or fried, they taste best. Life is trial and error so let her try.

Hi B.,
Friend of mine wrote a book on this called "What no meat?" her name is Debra Poneman. It addresses the issue of when children decide to become vegetarian and it has recommendations.
S.
homeschool mom and business owner

It's tricky for an 11 yr old to make a decision about this as it affects the whole family. I don't think she should be forced to eat anything. But you do want her to get good nutrition. I was a vegetarian for 10 years and really, you need much less protein than you think and still be healthy, but you likely can't just take the meat out of what you are already serving and have that be filling and a balanced meal. Remember that lots of foods have protein, whole grains, rice, beans, nuts, cheese, dairy and eggs. These things can be part of a meal where you serve the meat on the side for your husband or whoever else wants it. I recommend checking out a couple vegetarian cookbooks from the library to get a sense for what you might make or how to modify meals that your family already eats. It really is a different way of cooking in my experience (and usually healthier). I think you should support your 11 year old in decisions like this. Better to make sure she's eating a good diet that she enjoys than encourage her to be neurotic about food. She might feel she has to hide her diet from you if you don't agree with her choice.

B., If it is possible, make an appointment with her doctor and let them talk about it. The doctor can help her understand the importance of amino acids in her diet. Maybe her doctor and she can come to a compromise. At least then the doctor will know about her situation.

Do a ton of research and then talk to her pediatrician about it. You and your daughter both have to become very savvy about nutrition and alternative (but yummy) meal planning. You also need to seriously consider the hurdles this may create when making dinner for your entire family; are you going to make two meals? If your daughter is serious about this, she will take on the challenge. If she is not, it will fade away on its own. Or maybe she will opt for a modified program (i.e. no red meat or only seafood).

My own opinion is that I would like my children to wait through the entirety of puberty (18-19 for girls & 21-22 for boys) before making this decision. Be aware a lack of animal fat acts as a natural inhibitor to your period. Perhaps why girls are hitting puberty earlier and earlier...Too much bad fat in their fast-food-lifestyle.

My daughter whom is 9 will not eat red meat. She does sometimes eat chicken and fish or pork. I make her try something at least once. Then it is her decision if she wants to eat it again. She knows I will not cook a seperate dinner for her but on certain occassions I will put aside a portion made without meat to make sure she eats. We also go through the lunch menu too make sure she has a cold lunch on a meat day. She does eat PB for protein. For us it works because I make sure she's eating a well balanced diet without disrupting the rest of the family.

Hi B.,
My oldest daughter stopped eating meat at about that age. We are a "meat and potato" family too, so it seemed a bit strange. We thought it would pass but it never did. We talked to the doctor and she said it was fine as long as she still was getting the protein and iron she needed. We got info off the internet that explain what she needed and what foods to get it from as well as why she needed those things in her diet. (especially for a teenage girl). I was surprised to hear that there are a lot of kids her age that don't eat meat. Anyway, we are much more relaxed about it now. She takes a vitamin and eats things like eggs, peanut butter, beans, spinach, protein bars. They have veggie burgers and other meat substitutes in te freezer section.
Forcing her to eat meat does NOT sound like a good idea. You will have more important battles to pick! Let her know you love her for who she is. (and that is coming from some from pretty strict parents! :))

I say don't force her! I personally am the "meat and potatoes" type too, but she's 11 yrs old and fully capable of making certain decisions. Good for her! It may be that she's just going thru a phase or following what her friends are doing, but at least let her ride it out. I would, however, talk to her dr or possibly a nutritionist to find out what else you could be doing to make sure she's getting all her nutrients.

I was that same age when I was disgusted by a Dateline episode that I saw about e coli. I was scared to eat meat. My parents cooked the same way, no special meals for me, and let me choose to eat the meat or not. We were also a meat and potatoes family. Even without a "special" diet I managed to grow up healthy. Just provide a wide variety of foods, including lentils (they will provide a good protein and amino acids). If your really concerned about it, consult a nutritionist to reassure you. Oh, and I still do not prefer to eat meat, but I will eat it once in awhile.

this is probably a phase (i went thru it too) and a show of independence. she is at that in-between age where she wants to make those decisions but wants you to cook it for her! my daughter is 12 and is stuck in that in-between. good sources of protein are peanut butter, eggs, mushrooms. i hated all those so i wasn't a vegetarian very long! also beans of all types. lots of fruits and veggies will round it out. alot of recipes like mexican (fajitas,etc.) can substitute refried beans or mushrooms for the meat. leave a little pasta sauce out for her before mixing it with the meat. have her help make her own meal if it is completely different from the rest of the family. this will either pass or help her gain some responsibility and confidence so win/win. talk to her doctor if there gets to be a health concern but i don't see anything wrong with this.
S. m

If my daughter chose not to eat meat, which many people do and remain healthy, I would ask her to do the research necessary to find the proper proteins that will successfully replace meat in her diet. She is 11 and certainly has had some schooling to how to research a topic. It may be an oportunity for the two of you to grow closer and grow in a new area. You and she could find vegetarian recipes together and she could even help in cooking vegetarian meals. As a family you coud all partake in eating these meals as a way of growing your pallettes. Vegetarian is not a bad word. It is just a different way of eating and she may find that after a while it is right for her or has lost it's appeal. The best answer is to be supportive and offer choices. I realize that this may take some extra effort on your part but requiring that it also take extra effort on her part too may curb her interst or help her to appreciate the efforts you already make to put a meal on the table for her. Either way it seems like a win, win to me. And why not make it an area of growth for all. Hope this is helpful and I wish you both success!

I see you have alot of responses already and I didn't read them so I don't know if this is going to be repeated or not...

I think it comes down to the same as if she doesn't like some other kind of food... do you make her eat it?

My oldest doesn't like veggies of any kind except corn and cheesey green beans. The rule in our house is that you have to take atleast two bits... usually its only 1 veg on the fork twice but its still two bites.

So in our case he would still need to take two bits of the meat.

I grew up on a Beef Farm. We sold the cattle for that reason and usually kept one or two for us to eat. When I found that out.. that lead to finding out about pork (we also had two pigs we raised and chickens for us to eat each year, but never seen the process) I protested eating the meats also, but after a couple times of my mom making my favorite meals and smelling it and watching everyone else eat them I gave in and ate it also. So it very well could be a phase that she will over come.

Good luck and I wouldn't make it bigger than it needs to be. Let her see that you care about her choices and want to respect them.

I agree with you about letting her make the choice. She is not just being a picky toddler hating things touching on her plate or all veggies at the moment. She is genuinely grossed out. I love meat, but would honor my child's choice as long as they had a good reason and would eat substitutes. There are many ways of providing complete protien for her. Rice/any grain with beans of any sort in one meal, and if she likes eggs then hardboil them and make them a variety of ways, plus vegetables and cheese in the same meals, and peanut butter! I know she does not "like" soy, but if she is referring to soy milk, then try the absolutely flavorless tofu. You can grind it up into any of her foods (oatmeal, casseroles, etc..) and even an 11 yr old will not know. Just don't let her see you doing it! :) She may eventually change her mind, and it may be a phase, or she may turn out vegetarian. There are two types: vegan (all veggies) and lacto-avo (veggies but with eggs and dairy). For ideas, get a vegetarian cookbook or look online for recipes from the food network, etc...

In 4th grade, my science teacher bought store bought raw chicken parts (thighs, breast, etc) and gave us scissors. I don't know what she was teaching (I wasn't listening like the rest of my group) it was probably muscle and bone structure, but the boys in our group mutilated the raw meat. I honestly still cannot eat dark meat without being grossed out and I will not eat any discolored parts on the chicken breasts! I am 28 now! I understand how your daughter feels, I am just glad I still eat meat.

Yes, you are wrong to force her to eat it. You do not have to eat meat in order to get all of the nutrients. And, from what you are writing, she is not trying to be difficult. She is trying to express her feelings about something. She may even grow out of it, if you give her the opportunity. If meal-time is difficult, just let her know that you aren't going to make special meals for her. She can pick out the meat, or just eat the side items. My sister became a vegetarian at the age of four, while all the rest of us were meat eaters. You learn to adapt and to be open to other people's feelings.

Do not start a fight over what you cannot control. You CANNOT control whether or not she actually eats it. What you can do is start a MASSIVE battle for who is in control. And that could lead to negativity surrounding meal times, which can lead to eating problems, as well as misery for the whole family. Fix what you are going to, tell her that is FINE if she doesn't want to eat the meat, but educate her on what she needs to do to replace the protein. And let her fix it. There is no reason you need to become a short order cook! I too did a report in school on animal cruelty and couldn't bring myself to eat meat for a period of time. Eventually the pictures in my head faded and I started to eat it again. But all of us who eat meat try hard not to think of our meat as the animal it was, and we would probably all give it up if we had to see photos of the way some of the animals are treated. We just chose to live in a state of semi ingnorant bliss! I like my steaks! But she can look at Peanut Butter, soy, some protein powder supplements. Let her do the research online to figure out what to do to replace it. It might be a great learning experience for all of you. And maybe once a week or so you can start to add in a meatless meal and your whole family could become a little less meat and potatoes!

Chances are your daughter will resent you, her father and your husband for years to come if you force her to eat meat. Have her speak to a nutritionist and tell her she has to have a balanced diet and spell out the consequences if she does not. Make it clear to her that if this is what she really wants then she needs to make sure her nutrition is not lacking. If she is old enough to make this choice then she is old enough to research no meat meals for herself.

Hard for us meat eaters to understand, HOWEVER, I would NOT force her. It will just turn into an even bigger issue, especially at that age. I would just go with it, and maybe it will pass. I agree with the others, maybe helping her to research other stuff she will have to eat instead will help. I would just try to not make a BIG deal out of it. Good luck!

It's not as hard to go veggie as you think. My daughter is not much of a meat eater either and here I am...a meat and potatos gal! lol The grocery store has veggitarian chicken nuggets which I thought tasted quite good myself tho I tease her that it's an abomination to call them vegitarian chicken lol They have vegitarian sausage, hotdogs, hamburgers....all made with 100% vegetables and they really don't taste too bad tho it will be trial and error at first.

When my daughter wanted to go vegitarian, I made her start slow...would set aside some of dinner without meat for her and buy just one or two vegie meat packages at the store to try before buying more. She didn't stick with it but was grateful that I at least let her try! She still doesn't care much for meat but it surprised her on how much she really does like meat (more than she thought!) and now she fusses less on what I cook and I make sure to make some things without meat at all...it's been a good compromise for us and I've got to admit, some of the veggie meats out there aren't bad at all...I was surprised to find that I actually like them! lol Let her do her thing...you may both be surprised by what you find out too and she'll always remember and appreciate the fact that mom went out of her way to help her do this :) Also, pick up a vegitarian cookbook at the local library and let her try her hand at cooking her own meals as well....great learning tool! Good luck to you hun!

B.,

I agree with you. I think if your daughter is making that decision based on an ethical/emotional/moral standpoint, that should be honored. If it was something she just heard in school and was trying to follow her friends, that would be different. there's lots of different recipes out there for vegetarians on the internet. Beans and cheese and nuts are good sources of protein.
good luck.

So by forcing her, do you mean prying open her mouth and shoving it in? Choosing your battles is really important, especially with a pre-teen. She needs her protein though, so she needs to learn about the importance of eating a balanced diet by using legumes and other sources of protein. If this is a fad for her, I would guess that she will start eating meat again on her own when she realizes what she is missing. If not, she will learn how to manage a healthy diet that will last her into adulthood. Let her do the research about what she can eat to make up for the protein. Eggs and cheese are other things she can use. It is also a good time for her to learn to make her own meals instead of adding the extra burden for you. If my kids wanted anything different then what I was cooking, they cooked it themselves. Not a single one of them ever starved!I hope this helps a little.

I like the idea one of the othere mom's suggested. have your daughter research meat free meals, and have her try and find easy things that you can make as a side dish to the meal you are already making (stir fry with veggies and meat seperate, or various vegie side dishes).

I would not force her to eat the meat but tell her since she has decided not to eat meat she has to eat other foods with protein in them and have her research her options. My daughter is only 2 1/2 years old and is not a fan of the texture of most meat BUT she loves nuts so that helps get her protein.

Best of luck!

I made the same decision at her age, and was a vegetarian until I got pregnant with my first child- then meat was needed.

Do not cook her her own meal every night- she should have to eat with her family, but what she eats is her choice. Have yogurt and cheese and beans (canned are easy) on hand for her. There are lots of good vegetarian recipes on line for nights you would like to cook that way for the whole family. Just think of it as a "phase" and don't let it be any kind of a power struggle.

- Bean there, done that and still eat vegetarian with my whole family several times per week- it's much healthier for the environment and your body.

R.- mom to 6 amazing children- and 1 big baby with a cold (hubby)

When I was about her age we dissected in school and I couldn't handle meat, my dad was mad. But my mom took me to the library and I had to read nutrition books on how to eat vegetarian after school. At supper my mom would separate when she could but a lot of nights I was responsible for cooking my own meals and they had to be well balanced and not just pb n j. I learned nutrition and how to cook. I stayed a healthy veg eater all through college. Even now due to doing that I am a very healthy eater, I started eating select types of meat when I got pregnant, but I still love all sorts of vegetables.
I think if she is taught the right way to eat and made responsible for her life style go for it. If she is doing it for a fade and to make life difficult no it is not ok. The main thing is if she wants it bad enough she will go the length to learn the lifestyle and not make you cater to her.

I have been a vegetarian for many years now. It is a great choice for me and my family, but it isn't for everyone. It's wonderful that your daughter is making a choice based on compassion. That says alot about her character and the way she was raised! The best advice I can give is to suggest sitting down and having a conversation with your daughter about exactly what types of food she wants to avoid and how she would be comfortable replacing the nutrients she would be missing. This will help you to understand exactly what foods she is uncomfortable eating (not all 'vegetarians' avoid the same foods) and it will also help her to start learning to eat healthfully by being concious of her nutrition. There are many meat substitutes out there that can easily be used to replace the main dish (send me a message if you need any help finding these products) or be incorporated into a main dish. When you say she doesn't like soy are you referring to tofu or the soy bean? Many meat substitute products are soy based, but do not taste like a soy bean.

Forcing a kid to do anything is going to give you opposite results. I suggest respecting her choice, but at the same time, not bending over backwards to accomodate her either - continue the vitamins, but do NOT cater to her by cooking seperate meals at the same dining time. It might motivate her to start 'cooking' for herself, and help her with some problem solving skills to!!! If you are a church-going family, you can point to parts in the Bible that say it is ok to eat meat. (God killed the first animal in Genesis to clothe Adam and Eve, then John - or was it Paul?- in the new testament received the vision 3 times about being able to eat animals.) If you are concerned about protein, try lots of bean things and peanut butter - good protein in their! Also, try SILK brand soy milk b/c it comes in yummy flavors. (vanilla, VERY vanilla, and chocolate) Good luck!

When I was 13 I made the same decision. I read books on vegetarianism and learned how to cook meals all by myself. My Mom loved it! When I stopped eating meat, I was the healthiest I had ever been in my life and had tons of energy. Encourage her to go for it!

DO NOT force her to eat meat! This is a very personal decision and she is old enough to decide this. Please respect her choice- it may actually be beneficial to all of you. Even help her learn more about it and show interest in her decision. Have her help decide healthy alternatives. And inform her that if she doesn't get protein via meat- she needs to have nuts, seeds, healthy fats, ect...
Good luck, please use this as a great learning experience and show that you respect her decisions but do not allow her to eat junk in replace of meat.

You're not going to be able to force her to eat, I hope you realize that. My cousin (13) decided a few motnhs ago that she wanted to be a vegetarian. It's her personal choice and she's stuck with it. Lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, rice, salads, pasta, potatoes loaded with cheese and veggies....things like that. You can't force a child to eat meat just like you can't force one to go to sleep. I think, in my opinion, that your husband is failing to see that this is a personal decision. It's not like she's decided that she wants to be a stripper or go out and get drunk, she just doesn't want to eat meat. It shoudn't be a battle, it's not worth it. Plus, with the way that a childs wants and desires change weekly who knows if she's going to be this way next week? I would suggest that you let her eat what she pleases and thank God that she's so health conscious. after all, she could be refusing to eat anything but candy bars. Don't stress.....I've never heard of a mom who was mad that their child would eat only veggies. Good luck :)

Hello B..
I agree that 11 is old enough to make this type of choice.
However, I do want to share this little story with you. My little sister decided she wanted to become a non-red meat eater when she was about 10 or 11. She still agreed to eat turkey or chicken, but no pork, beef etc. My mom agreed. My sis is 15 now and her health is suffering. She doesn't like turkey anymore, so the only form of protein she will eat is chicken. She doesn't eat chicken often enough to get the amount of protein she needs, and she hates fish and beans. Her doctor is now so concerned about her that she predicts she will have heart complications, problems having children or other types of bodily function troubles by the time she is in her early 20's.
In fact, she is now scheduled to see a specialist today and a gynecologist next week because she has been having severe stabbing and cramping pains for the last three months that they cannot find a cause for.
So, I think if your daughter's diet is well-supervised and you ensure that she still gets enough protein and iron, she will be okay. It's best to find out if she is willing to eat beans and other meat substitutes and negotiate with her about the adjustments she'll have to make.
I believe this mostly my mother's fault for not making my sister stick to a more healthy diet. Good luck with your decision - didn't want to scare you but I do feel that having a serious talk with your daughter about what type of food choices she will have if meat is not part of her diet anymore is the only way to go.

you should DEFINATLY allow her this!!! in all honesty, animal products are NOT good for us. however, this doesnt mean that there is anything wrong with eating meats, it just means that we shouldnt be eating meat as the main part of our meal, we should be eating it in small portions and the veggies/fruits should be the main portion of our meals.

you do need to make sure she gets enough protien. one source is peanut butter, but any time you use things like kidney beans, black beans, pinto beans, split peas, etc etc - those are EXCELLENT replacements for meat. she is probably old enough to start cooking, and since this is a choice she wants to make, let her make it, but also start teaching her and supervising her to cook her own meal or something. the multivitamin is a good idea, talk to her doctor, if he isnt flexible and willing for her to have this diet, you need to find a doctor who WILL.

its awesome that your daughter shares her feelings about this with you. she could just be taking the food and hiding it until later when she can throw it away or something. she could be keeping it a secret. so dont force her to eat it - she will start keeping things to herself and find other ways to avoid eating it, then where will you be?

what else... just make sure that she eats HEALTHY food - veggies, fruits, WHOLE GRAINS, and those legumes (the beans and stuff) - not junk. if she will still eat eggs, they are a good source of protein, and she can start the day with one and do pretty well.
good luck and awesome that you are allowing your daughter to have her own opinion!

I would respect her wishes. It could be a "phase", or it could very well be the start of lifelong vegetarianism. (And how exactly do you "force" an 11 year old to eat something they don't want--tie her to a chair and force feed her??)

You certainly don't have to be a short order cook, but consider meat free side dishes and other options that you can easily provide for her. Many meals can easily be tailored to have meat or not. For example, if you make spaghetti and meatballs, keep the meatballs in a separate dish, so you daughter can skip them and just have sauce. On taco night, also offer some refried beans. If you are making hamburgers for your family, fry up a veggie burger for her.

Most Americans (myself included, at times) eat way too much meat, anyway. There are lots of other great sources of protein out there. If she is still eating dairy (milk, cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt), she's still getting a fair amount of protein.

I really don't think it's a good idea to force the child to eat meat. This could possibly be a phase that she is going through, or maybe she really will be a vegetarian. Vegetarian protein sources are beans, lentils, peas, tofu, eggs, nuts . . . I'm sure there are more. There are some good tofu recipes on the internet. Also, veggie burgers are good. Morningstar is my favorite brand. These are more expensive protein sources. Any type of bean can really be mashed into a burger and baked. Also, she could drink protein shakes.

I don't think they really know best at this age. My daughter said she wanted to be a vegetarian at that age (she is now 13) and we just were joking about it at dinner the other night. We said, aren't vegetarians supposed to eat vegetables? Well she doesn't like vegetables-only corn and lettuce/spinach so guess what? No you cannot be a vegetarian. Bottom line is that if they don't like soy or vegetables or meat-which do they like the best out of the 3? You need to get an answer to that to figure out what her preference really is. My daughter wants to be a vegetarian but loves cheeseburgers and steak, tacos, etc. There is just some meat she doesn't care for (certain ways they are prepared-how they are seasoned, etc.) That is when she pull the old I want to be a vegetarian card. Hope this helps.